“Understanding and Managing Anger Pt 1”
INTRODUCTION
In our study of bitterness, we discovered the devastating effects of sustained anger and unforgiveness not only for the individual but also for everyone they touch. Bitterness has to do with negative thoughts and feelings toward someone who has offended me or someone I care about. The continued simmering of these negative feelings and thoughts in the soul results in further negativity and a host of inevitable other negative and hurtful words, attitudes and actions. We learned that the inability to eradicate bitterness and respond to life’s difficulties in a godly manner is due to our own selfish ambition and bitter jealousy springing out of a self-centered focus. Roots of bitterness thrive in the soil of self-centeredness. Scripture clearly warns against cultivating bitter roots which not only entangle us but defile those around us.
Negative emotions, thoughts, words, attitudes and actions are but one expression of the initial emotions we call anger. Close encounters with the evil in a sinful world naturally stirs up an emotion we call anger. The intensity of our anger measures anywhere from mild frustration to a full blown fury. Just as everyone struggles with bitterness from offenses, everyone struggles with anger.
What does the Bible say about anger?
BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil a place. Ephesians 4:26-27
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31
I observe at least six foundational principles from this passage.
1. Anger is a godly emotion “Be angry!”
Paul used a present active imperative which is a command to do something on a regular basis.
2. Don’t express anger sinfully. “Do not sin!”
This is also a present imperative commanding us to continually refrain from sinning, falling short of God’s standard.
3. Resolve anger quickly! “Do not let the sun go down on your anger!”
Here is a third present imperative. Always deal with your anger quickly.
4. Unresolved anger gives Satan a foothold in your life. “Do not give the devil a place!”
Now a forth present imperative. Never allow Satan a foothold in your life by allowing anger to remain undirected or unresolved. Preferable address it before you go to bed at night.
5. Humbly allow God to eradicate fleshly destructive anger from your life.
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 4:30
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31
Paul changes verb type here. He uses a point time passive imperative. This means to allow something to be done to you. Namely, allow God to once and for all (or whenever is needed) to remove any trace of fleshly relationally damaging emotions and actions from your soul that grieve the Holy Spirit.
6. Continually pursue godly attitudes and actions.
This passage encourages truth speaking over lying, working to give the needy over stealing, speaking words that build others rather than accomplish nothing, continually acts of kindness, development of a tender heart, forgiveness and sacrificial love.
Some of our confusion regarding anger comes from Scripture itself. We read passages that instruct us to put away anger. We read other passages that tell us to BE angry but don’t sin.
We read warning after warning about the angry person. James clearly states that the anger of man never achieves the righteousness of God. Many of the chosen servants of God expressed extreme anger over the behavior of sinful men. We know that God is absolutely holy and sinless and yet feels and expresses anger. Jesus was sinless and yet the Bible records several occasions when He felt and expressed anger. Since the Bible does not contradict itself the only conclusion we can draw from the data is that anger has two sources.
There is Spirit generated anger and flesh generated anger. There is the anger of man I will refer to as fleshly anger which does not achieve God’s purposes and the anger of God which I will refer to as godly anger which is intended to promote God’s purposes in God’s way.
There are many more passages related to the management of sinful fleshly anger than godly anger. We learn more about godly anger from examples told in narrative passages than direct teaching.
OVERVIEW
I. Analyze anger
A. Understand its character
B. Pinpoint its purpose
C. Discover its cause
D. Follow its course
E. Track its conduct (expression)
II. Manage anger
A. Purposefully direct godly anger
B. Persistently defuse fleshly anger
TODAY’S MESSAGE
I. ANALYZE ANGER
A. Understand the character of anger
1. Biblical terms
a) Old Testament Terms
The Old Testament uses some 20 different terms expressive of God’s anger or wrath occurring some 580 times in the Old Testament. Many of the terms come from some physiological manifestation such as snorting through the nose, burning. These terms are translated by wrath, anger, fury, burning indignation, hot displeasure. The cause of God’s anger always has to do with a moral and ethical reaction to the evil practiced and perpetuated by His creatures.
Sometimes that sin may be spoken of in general terms (Job 21:20; Jer. 21:12; Ezek. 24:13) and at other times specified as the shedding of blood (Ezek. 8:18; 24:8), adultery (Ezek. 23:25), violence (Ezek. 8:18), covetousness (Jer. 6:11), revenge (Ezek. 25:17), affliction of widows and orphans (Exod. 22:22), taking brethren captive (2 Chron. 28:11-27), and especially idolatry (Ps. 78:56-66).
— Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary
The expression of God’s anger always comes through some created agency such as His angels, His people the Israelites, Gentile nations, illness, plagues, famines and other forces of nature.
The expression of His anger varies and it is clear that He does not execute punishment for evil behavior quickly. He is described as slow to anger. He is so long-suffering that it wasn’t until every man’s heart became evil continually that He sent the worldwide flood.
b) New Testament Terms
“ORGE”
The New Testament translates this word either anger or wrath. It means too be puffed up, excited; a natural impulse, temperament , disposition. Other terms associated with this root “orge” are used to indicate “a strong desire.”
1 Tim 3:1 1 Tim 6:10 Heb 11:13-16
“THUMOS”
This term comes from a root which means smoke or steam. The New Testament translates it by anger, wrath, indignation. Other terms associated with the root word indicate an emotionally charged thinking process
Matt 1:20 Matt 9:4: 12:25 Heb 4:12
As can be seen the two terms are similar in meaning and are used interchangeably. Both terms are used to describe God’s anger and anger in men. Both terms are used describe a godly anger a fleshly anger.
The morality of the emotion is not indicated by the word itself but by the intent or motive of the one person and the expression of the emotion. Our Ephesians passages uses both terms together when instructing us to allow God to eradicate it from our life [allow all anger (thumos) and wrath (orge) to be put aside].
Any significant difference in meaning between these two terms lies in their expression.
Orge - is a more deeply settle settled emotion.
Thumos -- is a more on the spot reaction or flare of emotion.
The English words wrath and anger appear 412 times in the Old Testament and 64 in the New. It is obvious that it is a significant topic of discussion.
2. The nature of anger
We consider anger an emotion. Most emotions arise through a thought process. We think about something that triggers the emotion or something happens to us or around us that sparks the emotion or the thought that incites the emotion. Since God does not possess a physical body yet experiences or feels anger, we must assume that anger is not primarily a physical feeling but a soul response that may affect our physical bodies.
How would you describe how anger feels?
It does cause physiological events such as an adrenaline surge, elevated sugar levels, heart rate and blood pressure. That is one reason we need to address anger quickly. Prolonged states of anger ravage our physical bodies. God intended us to live in peace. Anger basically is a power surge that puts us in a state of readiness to act. It is morally neutral at its core. It is a response inherited from our Heavenly Father. Anger is a powerful state that is a powerful weapon that can be used for good or evil. It must be brought under the control of Biblical thinking and Spirit direction. We need to learn to effectively employ it for God’s purposes.
B. Pinpoint the purpose of anger
What does anger get us ready to do? Anger is a powerful heightened state of emotion that readies us to address evil in our world. Anger is like a red light on the dashboard of life indicating an urgent need for action. It equips us to act decisively against evil. It alerts us to evil in our own soul or the world around us. It enables us to act powerfully to renew our thinking, resolve conflict, restore community and retrain evil. No where in this list of Biblical purposes will we find exacting vengeance, manipulating people, venting, controlling others, reviling, returning evil for evil. God’s anger moves Him to act against evil. God intends this increased state of readiness to motivate us to act. Pay attention to the red light. Do something.
So often our expression of anger only has a self-centered purpose. God intends us to manage our anger for purposes related to the restoration of godliness. We will look more closely just how we are to manage this powerful weapon. Spirit sparked anger needs to be purposefully directed. Flesh ignited anger must be persistently defused.
Anger is the soul’s response to perceived or actual
events, people or circumstances
perceived as wrong, evil or threatening to my well being
that empowers me to act.
C. Discover the cause of anger
What causes anger to rise up in one person regarding a particular incident and not another?
Thousands people became extremely angry that the Seahawks didn’t win the Super Bowl.
Yet thousands of others felt elated.
One customer flies into a rage when the waitress spills water in their lap while another feels no anger at all.
My response to an event has more to do with something inside me than the event itself.
God intends anger to motivate me to address legitimate evil. It is my perception of the event or the action that generates the emotional response. The closer my perception to God’s eternal perception the godlier will be my response. The more twisted and selfish my perception, more destructive my response will be. The condition of my soul determines whether or my anger is godly anger or fleshly anger. James is clear that destructive conflict among people comes from a proud selfish focus. If my soul is not God focused, neither will my anger be God focused.
So if we ask what causes anger to rise up in the soul it has to do with the condition of the soul.
It will either arise from a healthy understanding of God’s standard or an unhealthy focus on my self-centered agenda.
There are a number of soul malfunctions that cause angry responses to people or events that do not accomplish God’s purposes.
Anger arises out of my beliefs and expectations and perceptions.
Anger is aroused whenever I perceive a violation of my beliefs, core values or expectations.
We generally focus on the emotional aspect of anger. In reality, anger is intricately connected to our thought process. The key to managing anger centers in our thinking. As we will discuss later, there are two goals for anger management. Both have to do with renewing our thought process.
The anger that arises as a spirit-generated response to a legitimate evil needs to be directed.
The anger that arises as a flesh-generated response to a perceived evil needs to be defused.
Both require an understanding of our thought process. The true cause of anger centers in our thinking.
1. Beliefs and values
Every person lives by some moral code. Everyone holds to particular values of what is important. We call it by different names. Morality, a sense of right and wrong, beliefs, convictions or values.
We develop these beliefs or convictions over a lifetime. They are influenced by our culture, our peers, our parents and the inner sense of right and wrong engrained by God in every human heart. Over time, these beliefs and convictions either more closely conform to God’s standard or to the devil-directed culture in which we live.
The time of the judges was a dark period in Israel’s history. It was filled with rampant anarchy, immorality and idolatry. Yet no one recognized it as evil for every man did that which was right in their own eyes. Not too different than today’s culture.
Everyone maintains their own idea of what is right and wrong and respond accordingly.
Some hold their convictions passionately. Others with limited passion. The degree of passion you embrace your convictions determines the intensity of your anger when those convictions or beliefs are threatened.
Beliefs and convictions are the way we think things should be.
Some firmly believe that Christians should not drink alcohol. That conviction may be based on a firm belief that it is what Scripture teaches or perhaps because of a traumatic personal experience or that of a family member. A passionate anger will arise in a conversation of those convictions or an event that violates those convictions. Others may have strong convictions that alcohol is not forbidden in the Scriptures.
Say you hold to the belief that wearing red is immoral. You will you experience anger whenever someone comes to church wearing red. You honestly believe that an evil has been committed and the automatic response is anger. You may not say anything but the emotion arises because of your belief system. In this case, our anger needs to be diffused because it is not based on a violation of God’s standard but on a personal conviction or preference.
Most firmly believe (and rightly so) that stealing is wrong. It is the eighth commandment.
When we encounter a thief, the natural response in the soul based on our conviction that stealing is wrong is anger. In this case, our anger is a legitimate righteous anger that should be properly directed because it is based on a legitimate violation of God’s standard.
God intends anger to motivate us to address evil though the Spirit’s direction. What action we take must also be carefully directed by God’s truth. It is absolutely vital that we embrace God’s truth and continually adjust our beliefs to conform to God’s standard communicated in the Bible. Much of the source of anger toward ourselves boils down to the adoption of some unbiblical belief. I have to be perfect. I have to please everyone. I have to be liked by everyone.
2. Personal expectations / goals
We also adopt certain expectations according to our personal beliefs and convictions
This is the way we want things to be.
We adopt expectations of people all the time. Everyone should hold the same values as I do.
I expect that people should be perfect. Anger is an automatic response when people don’t perform according to our particular expectation. We must address the personal expectation or the person who did not meet our expectation. It is important to continually address our expectations. Are they Biblical? Are they realistic? Are they God-centered or self-centered?
Goals are closely related to expectations. Goals are expectations we desire for ourselves.
Any time we set about to pursue personal expectations or goals that require the cooperation of people or things we become highly susceptible to anger when we fail to reach those goals. Our anger will focus on ourselves or the person who blocked our goal.
Say I set a goal to set aside every Sunday afternoon for an outdoor BBQ. I am ripe for anger.
Such a goal requires the cooperation of weather, people, health, scheduling, and resources.
I need to adjust my expectations if I am to avoid continual anger.
3. Personal perception
In addition to beliefs and expectations, there is the matter of how I perceive my world.
Perceptions are the way I perceive things to be.
The story of the father on the subway with his three young children perfectly illustrates the connection between perception and anger as well as the influence of beliefs and expectations.
A father and his three children are riding the subway train. The three kids are completely out of control; yelling to each other, crawling over the seats, running up and down the isle. The father sits staring at the floor completely oblivious to what his children are doing. The fellow passengers are keenly aware of the children. The level of animosity rises with each mile.
Actually all the issues come into play. Most people believe that children should be well behaved or at least civil and courteous of those around them. The expectation is that the parent should be managing his children according to common belief. The perception is that this a deadbeat dad who neglects his kids and does not care about the fact others are being tormented by his out of control children.
Hostility is high; not only toward the children but the father as well. Finally one severely agitated passenger confronts the father. Sir can’t you see that your kids are completely out of control. Are you going to do something or not? As if awaking from a trance the father reengages with life. “I am so sorry, you see we are just retuning home from the funeral of their mother and beloved wife who was killed in a tragic traffic accident this week. I just don’t know what I am going to do without her.”
What happens to the anger at this dramatic perception change? Almost instantaneously the anger defuses and a flood of compassion, grieve perhaps guilt, sympathy rushes in to take its place.
If I perceive the person or event as evil, or perceive ill intent, anger arises whether the event was actually evil or not. I must continually ask God to help me see life from His perspective and seek to know the truth. Anger arises when a person or event either violates or I perceive it to violate my beliefs of expectations.
By the way, the connection between beliefs and expectations and perception relates to any emotion positive or negative. Emotions are birthed in the thinking. That is why God tells us to be transformed (in our behavior) by the renewing of the mind.
D. Follow the course of anger (circle of emotion)
1. It begins in the soul
It arises out of our beliefs and expectations.
2. It is triggered by and person or event
Anger arises when my beliefs and expectations encounter person, circumstance or event I perceive does not correspond to my beliefs and expectations.
3. It generates an emotional Response
Anger just is. It is an automatic emotion at the intersection of beliefs and expectations.
It source determines its character. Flesh generates death. Spirit generates life.
4. It requires personal reflection
Anger is like a red light on the dashboard indicating the urgency to address a malfunction.
The malfunction is either in my soul or in my world. It is either a problem in my beliefs, expectations and perception or there is a legitimate evil that God want to address. It is at this juncture that we must reflect not only on the cause but the course of action that will bring about God’s purposes.
5. It leads to a chosen response or action
It is at this point that we can slide from a sinless emotional response to a legitimate evil to a sinful response. The Bible offers a number of responses to offenses and evil in our world.
There are prohibited responses. There are prescribed responses. There are some optional responses. We will address them later in this series.
Today!
1. Anger is a godly emotion “Be angry!”
2. Don’t express anger sinfully. “Do not sin!”
3. Resolve anger quickly! “Do not let the sun go down on your anger!”
4. Realize unresolved anger gives Satan a foothold in your life.
5. Humbly allow God to eradicate fleshly destructive anger from your life.
6. Continually pursue godly attitudes and actions.
