Honor, Obey, and Live Long
Speak to sons/daughters about their fathers.
Since everyone had/has a father- birth father or adopted father- there is something for everyone.
Specifically talk to sons/daughters about 5th C.
Ex 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you. NASU
This is not a kiddies Commandment. (Deut 5:16)
This Commandment affects the rise/fall of nations.
USA- suffering seriously from neglect of this C.
Father’s Day
A day to commemorate and honor our fathers.
Not just our fathers- all men who have acted as a father figure in our lives- Stepfathers, Uncles,
Grandfathers, Big Brothers.
66M father’s in- US today, 102M Father’s Day cards.
Father’s are POWERFUL influencers, role models, teachers, parents, and leaders- for good or for bad.
When parents engage children- regularly/positively …
46% less likely to use drugs,
27% less likely to use alcohol,
52% less likely to skip school.
Such children feel more secure/higher self-esteem.
Father’s having meals w/children- positive impact.
The 5th Commandment
First four Cs deal with our relationship with God.
Remaining six deal w/our relationship with others.
If our relationship w/God is correct then our relationships w/others will be correct.
When our relationship w/first four C’s are out of line, our relationship with the last six will be out of line.
The 5th C- significant- it has a promise attached to it.
Perhaps- God’s way of reinforcing its importance.
In this C God establishes the importance of the family
Culture today- trying to redefine the family unit.
Society- producing-generation of confused kids/rebels
The saga of a nation is the saga of its families written large. Plato (~400BC)
In the 5thC we are told to honor parents so we can be preserved in the land- nation, society.
This commandment when honored- holds a nation together- it held the nation of Israel together.
Persia, first world empire, followed by the Greek empire, emphasized obedience and discipline.
Roman Empire arose to power largely due to the potestas- absolute and total rule of a father over
his son as long as they both were alive.
As these nations prospered, family order/discipline broke down, the nations declined and collapsed.
What a child learns at home-key to relationships later-
If a child learns it is okay for a husband to abuse his wife, he becomes a wife beater.
If a child learns it is okay to be lazy, then he becomes an unproductive person.
If a child does not learn responsibility and accountability w/parents then they are going
to be irresponsible/ unaccountable.
Satan hates the family- why he went after Adam/Eve.
He hates the family because the family …
determines the future of a child,
future of a child determines- future of a nation.
To destroy a child’s future, all Satan has to do is mess with his family today.
Parents- 18 years to escort children safely through life
i.e. like a police escort through traffic.
5th C instructs children to honor their parents- why?
Parents are part of God’s chain of command.
God has an order- God works through His order.
If we disregard God’s order-bring damage to ourselves
How we respond to God’s chain of command (order) sets in motion how God will respond to us.
When Adam/Eve responded to God’s order by disobeying Him in the Garden of Eden,
it determined how God responded to them.
Some people have trouble w/God today because they have not responded properly to His order.
Deut 21:18-21 (eliminate juvenile delinquency?)
This makes- 5thC a very serious commandment- it has to do with the order/preservation of a nation.
Honor- give weight or importance to, respect, assign a high value to- do not treat lightly.
What if parents- not worthy of being treated w/honor?
Jesus had to learn to obey parents He was greater than
Lk 2:48-52
If Jesus had to learn to obey, and He is perfect, how much more should we learn to obey.
Pr 23:22 Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old. NASU
Young people, if you depend on your parents for provision- food, clothes, house, protection-
then you are obligated to respect/obey them.
When a child disobeys parents- he is saying to God …
God, I do not care who You put over me I am not going to respect You and I am going to show You how much I do not respect You by rebelling against those you put over me.
Unless your parents ask you to do disobey God, and you choose to rebel, that is a direct attack on God.
Sometimes parents- unfair- mind set should be obey.
You cannot get the benefits of what parents are providing and dishonor them while you are there.
Parents- love them enough to chastise them/put them out if they will not show respect/obey house rules.
How can we honor our parents?
1. We are to honor our parents verbally.
Learn to bless/compliment them on the good they did.
When is the last time we thanked our father/mother.
2Ti 1:5 For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well. NASU
Paul- giving honor to Timothy’s parents.
A person who honors parents- honors them verbally.
2. We can honor our parents financially
1Ti 5:3-4
3 Take care of* any widow who has no one else to care for her.
4 But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God. NLT
If they need help- not being irresponsible- help them.
Do not forget how much money/time parents have invested in their children’s lives.
3. We are to honor our parents relationally
Jesus offers a warning about taking care of parents …
Mtt 15:4-6
Jesus makes sure mom is taken care of even as He is hanging on the cross. (Jn 19:26-27)
How many parents- placed in nursing homes- never receive a visit- does not end our responsibility.
4. We are to honor our parents spiritually.
Some of us have been damaged by parents.
The spiritual thing to do is to release them.
As you release them you will release yourself.
Pray with them and forgive them.
Do not expect to get what you are not willing to give.
Noah got drunk and he was involved in a lewd act. One son made fun of him, the other two put a covering over him. (Gen 9:21-23)
One day our parents may need a covering.
5. We are to honor our parents emotionally.
Pro 10:1 A wise son makes a father glad,
But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.
We criticize/complain, but when is the last time we made their heart glad.
Conclusion
Eph 6:1-4
God will do two things for us if we obey 5th C ...
1. He will give you a longer quantity of life
Honoring your parents allows you live out your divinely ordained years.
Many kids in the grave today because they have not honored their parents- their life was cut short.
2. He will increase our quality of life
He will make our life better if- make their life better.
Prov 4:10-13
If you honor your parents, God is saying I will guide you through your life.
Some of us as adults are living under a curse because we have dishonored our parents.
To parents- make it easy, not hard for your children to honor you.
Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.
We expect children to obey us but we never …
hug/express love/encourage/pray with them.
If you want to be honored by your children they should know more of your love than your threats.
Godly training/discipline provides safe boundaries for a child and makes them feel loved/secure.
Parents to children- these are your boundaries …
come in at certain time,
complete school work before go play, etc.
As long as you keep your boundaries we are going to be fine, I will love you and encourage you.
When you step over the line that is an infraction.
If you keep the boundaries then next year we will expand the boundaries, give you more freedom.
We will trust you with more because because we were able to trust you when you had less freedom.
If I cannot trust you with your current boundaries, I will not enlarge your boundaries/may reduce them.
Teenager/adult children living at home- affirm your parents strengths and do what they have asked you.
Let your parents know you want to please God by obeying them.
Adult children may need to forgive their parents and thank them for what they have done.
If your parents are dead then get before God and thank Him for your parents.
Final Thought
We have been talking about honoring father’s and how that has greatly diminished.
The heart of many a parent has been broken by a child that will not honor them.
But a greater King, and a greater Father, has also had His heart broken by the rebellion of His children. That Father is God. The rebels are you and me. It was not because of any goodness in us that God was willing to die for us, but because of His grace. He died in our place … that we might be adopted back into the family of our Father and our King. Dr James Kennedy
