Cornerstone Church October 15, 2006
“ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE, WHERE DO THEY
ALL COME FROM?”
2 Timothy 4:9-13, 16
Introductory Thoughts:
Most Christians cannot deny the profound effects that the Apostle Paul has had upon their lives.
He is a fine example or how God can transform an individual’s life.
He is a fine example of devotion for the cause of Christ (he gave 110% plus).
He wrote under inspiration of the Holy Spirit 14 of the 27 books of the New Testament.
Life changing and glorious works like Romans, Galatians, Ephesians, Hebrews!
But the Apostle Paul also serves as a fine example of how Christians at times can feel overwhelmed by the circumstances they are facing. In this case, loneliness.
Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia. Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry. I sent Tychicus to Ephesus. When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, and my scrolls, especially the parchments.
At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.
2 Timothy 4:9-13, 16 NIV
Paul had given his life as a living sacrifice to Christ.
He lived out daily what he preached about in Romans 12:1.
He was stoned, beaten, criticized, tired, hungry and shipwrecked in order to proclaim the gospel message.
Now he is in a dark, damp, cold, Roman dungeon waiting for the outcome of his trial which will result in his execution. While in prison loneliness is gripping at his heart!
“DOES ANYONE CARE?”
Paul might have asked himself!
I wonder if this is how Martin and Gracia Burnham, New Tribes Missionaries, felt during their year of captivity as missionaries in the Philippines?
Wondering whether they were going to be released or whether they, like so many other of God’s Servants would give their lives as martyrs for Christ.
Martin was martyred for Christ.
Today Gracia speaks about their captivity
You do not have to be faced with these extreme conditions to have loneliness gripping your heart. As I was reading about loneliness I found that people all around us can silently be drowning in loneliness. Ready to go under without anyone even caring to notice.
Maybe that is how you feel this morning!
It can happen right here in church. You come hoping someone will notice, but they don’t.
It is so easy to go unnoticed. Listen!
Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?
Chorus:
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working.
Darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there
What does he care?
Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved
Eleanor Rigby – The Beatles
Many songs in our society have reflected this theme:
“One Is The Loneliest Number”
Three Dog Night
“Only The Lonely”
Roy Orbison
WHERE DOES LONELINESS COME FROM?
It comes from geographical separation
Moving to a different city or even a different country (individuals in business, missions or college). Perhaps you are away on a business trip or at a conference and you miss your family and friends.
I’ve been to the Moody Pastor’s Conference by myself before. The fellowship is great. The messages, fantastic. But you can be in the midst of 1,500 of God’s finest servants and feel alone along way from home.
It comes from physical or emotional separation
The one you loved and spent your whole life getting to know is suddenly gone.
The one you love is now in nursing care, assisted living, or is mentally gone.
It can come because the time of the year (seasons)
Holidays: Christmas or Thanksgiving
Key dates: Birthdays or Anniversaries
It can be a personal choice
You quickly slip out the door at church or at work avoiding interaction with others preferring solitude to relationships.
It can be a result of personal actions
Workaholic lifestyle
Too busy doing your own thing
Too rigid and unbending
Avoiding relationships for fear of getting hurt
It can happen when the future looks bleak
The darkness of the winter months.
The traumatic situation the Apostle Paul was facing in prison.
Paul’s heart was in need. Did you catch the urgency?
“Do your best to come to me quickly,”
Why? He might not be alive soon! He wants to see Timothy one last time. He is feeling discouraged.
“…for Demas, because he loved this world,
has deserted me…”
“At my first defense, no one came to my support,
but everyone deserted me.”
Deserted = “Utterly Abandoned”
Why did Demas bail? He loved this present world more. When the situation got tough he didn’t get tougher, he bailed. The road of discipleship and commitment were too much for him. One author noted that the anguish of Paul’s heart was more because of people not staying with him, than Paul’s concern about being executed.
OUTLINE: (taken from Dr. David Jeremiah
“SLAYING THE GIANTS IN YOUR LIFE”
THE EXPERIENCE OF LONELINESS
EXAMPLES OF LONELINESS IN THE BIBLE
LIBERATION FROM LONELINESS
THE EXPERIENCE OF LONELINESS
Loneliness does not strike some people and not others. At one time or another loneliness seems to strike all people.
The Lonely Single
It can get pretty quiet at home when you are not married. Making meals and sitting down and eating meals for just one person. No one to discuss matters with or argue with.
The Lonely Spouse
Marriage doesn’t solve loneliness. Married people can be just as lonely as single people. Just because two people live in a house together does not mean that they communicate about their fears, frustrations and hardships. They may live as two ships passing in the night – simply living separate lives under the same roof!
You might be the spouse of a deployed soldier
Your spouse might be unsaved – you wish they shared your love for Jesus
The Lonely Survivor
This is a hard one for many here. The one they loved and got to know intimately over the years is suddenly taken in death. You did everything together and now you do it alone. Now, it is just not the same. Every moment of every day you think about that person.
I’m sure this is true concerning the loss of a child in death.
Or maybe even the loss felt over a wayward child – running away from the LORD.
Or Perhaps this is how Empty Nesters feel when your children leave home.
The Lonely Sufferer
The one going through an illness or surgery can feel alone and abandoned.
The Lonely Senior Citizen
Health needs can keep you more shut-in and away from the group. Being disconnected can make you feel alone. Where are my friends you might be asking? Maybe you feel like no one needs you any more. You sense that your usefulness is over!
Let me be the first to say, “We need you!” We need your expertise, your wisdom, your ideas! If you made it through the Depression, WWII, and many of the other hardships that our country has faced, you can impart your wisdom to help solve problems today!
The Lonely Servant of God
I again remind you of what missionaries can go through. They go to live in foreign, and sometimes hostile, countries. Everything from the language, customs, manners and food can be different.
They are away from family, friends and everything they have grown up to fell at home with in America.
Some may be longing just to hear a word of English spoken or simply to eat something from America (an In and Out Burger!).
So enjoy Nate and Elizabeth Claasen (Noah, Timothy and Elias) now. But don’t forget them when they leave. Remember the Philipp Family as well!
Lonely in your church
Years ago you helped to found the church and establish it here.
Over the years you have lost many friends. Many new people have come.
But these days you find yourself feeling lonely because of these changing dynamics.
You wonder if any one remembers you!
Leadership can be lonely at the top as well. People can be unhappy with the decisions you make. In one sense there is no decision that everyone will like.
Personal Illustration:
When I was a Senior Pastor I thought I walked around with a sign on my back that said:
“Kick Me!”
It was easy to withdraw! I have found out, that if I did not share what I was struggling with, holding it inside, people would say that you are not “transparent” enough.
But the opposite also happens if you are too transparent. If you confide in others, share truth from your heart that is honest and unedited as to political correctness, it can be judged as a weakness and used against you.
Moses felt this way and responded to God like this:
Num. 11:14-15 NIV I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now —if I have found favor in your eyes —and do not let me face my own ruin.”
REVIEW POINT: Many Experience Loneliness from time to time. No one seems exempt.
How can we help?
Make it a point to visit our shut-ins. Listen to their stories. Hear what they have to say!
Make it a point to write notes to our missionaries to encourage them. Just think of how your note of encouragement might be used to keep them from giving up, packing up their toys and coming home! Take time to welcome people at church. Listen to them!
EXAMPLES OF LONELINESS IN THE BIBLE
The Word of God contains many examples of God’s people who were lonely. Yes, they trusted the LORD and He gave them strength and encouragement but that does not mean that they were not lonely.
Joseph
He was taken from his home by his brothers. He was sold into slavery. He was thrown into jail and finally he was made the number two man under Pharaoh. All along the way I’m sure he missed his home, his country and his family.
King David
Imagine how he felt being chased all over the country side by Saul and later by his son!
Jeremiah
Jer. 1:5 NIV “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
That’s great LORD! Wow, what a blessing to be God’s chosen prophet!
After a while I think that Jeremiah felt like Simon Birch did about being
“God’s Instrument!”
I would imagine that being a weeping prophet for the LORD is like being the Maytag repairman, the loneliest job on earth!
Jer. 9:2 NIV Oh, that I had in the desert a lodging place for travelers, so that I might leave my people and go away from them; for they are all adulterers, a crowd of unfaithful people.
The Apostle Paul
The LORD Jesus Christ
Matt. 27:46 NIV About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, {“Eloi, Eloi, lama} {sabachthani?”} – which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
REVIEW POINT: Does the Bible give insight into other people who experienced loneliness?
Yes it does. Some of God’s finest servants were individuals that experienced loneliness. God, however, kept them and provided encouragement for them.
LIBERATION FROM LONELINESS
How do we begin to overcome loneliness?
Now that we know it exists and that others experience it how do we begin to overcome it?
1) ACKNOWLEDGE THE REALITY OF LONELINESS
Loneliness in itself is not sinful.
Adam was lonely before sin ever entered the Garden of Eden.
Gen. 2:18 NIV The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
You do not need to put on a false mask and try to communicate to everyone else that everything is okay! Who said that we are suppose to put on a mask and suck it up all the time? Loneliness is part of being human.
It was after Adam’s sin that not only did he have to deal with loneliness but he also had to deal with separation from God. A lack of fellowship with God is the greatest emptiness and loneliness on planet earth.
2) ACCEPT GOD’S PROVISION FOR YOUR LONELINESS
Nothing will fill the God-shaped vacuum in your life if you do not know the LORD Jesus Christ as your Savior. You will be forever empty.
Not money
Not Drugs
Not Alcohol
Not materialism
Only God can satisfy!
Paul called for some of his closest friends. He stayed busy with serving others. And He trusted the LORD to help him.
2 Tim. 4:17 NIV But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.
3) ALLOW GOD’S WORD TO FILL YOUR MIND AND HEART
Down through the ages the Word of God has kept God’s servants.
In the midst of the trial or testing, God’s Word is a constant source of courage, faith, and trust.
2 Tim. 4:13 NIV When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, and my scrolls, especially the parchments.
Paul wanted the Word and perhaps some good writings! He also wanted his cloak!
4) ACTIVATE YOUR NETWORK OF CHRISTIAN FRIENDS
Paul didn’t just want to be surrounded by people. He wanted his most intimate friends. He wanted Luke, Timothy and John Mark during his darkest days. Jesus wanted Peter, James, and John.
Question: During your darkest days do you rely on your Christian brothers and sisters that you are close with?
If not, you should!
Opening up means a certain amount of vulnerability. But if we are connected to Christ we are connected to one another.
Rom. 12:15 NIV Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
The power of Christ empowered friendships / relationships
Eccl. 4:9-12 NIV Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Get connect to others!
By yourself, you can fall.
Your lifeline can break.
A cord made of many strands cannot as easily break!
Paul also kept busy serving others (the same advice Karl Menninger once gave). Even though Paul was discouraged He was writing this note to Timothy! He was finding ways to minister even though his circumstances were dismal.
REVIEW POINT: How do you liberate yourself from loneliness?
Acknowledge the reality of your loneliness. Be honest, stop being pious!
Accept God’s provision for loneliness – God alone satisfies!
Allow God’s Word to fill your heart and mind
Activate your network of Christian Friends
THE LONELY SAINT IN THE CHURCH
A final thought that needs to be stated as we close this message is the reality that loneliness exists and can thrive within the Church of Jesus Christ.
In previous eras Christians sang: “Rescue the Perishing” talking about reaching the lost. We need to focus on reaching our world for Christ.
But we must never lose our focus of our being a part of the Family of God and miss the one who might be perishing right in the pew next to you!
The Church is suppose to be a source of nurture and encouragement.
Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
BUT IS THAT THE REALITY BEHIND WHAT WE ARE DOING?
In our hearts we want the church to reflect what was taking place in the Book of Acts:
Acts 2:42-44 NIV They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common.
That is a great model to strive for! But we forget the reality of what really goes on:
Luke 22:24 NIV Also a dispute arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest.
Acts 6:1 NIV In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food.
Phil. 4:2 NIV I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord.
1 Cor. 6:1 NIV If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints?
So there is no such a place as the perfect church. Looking for the perfect church is like hoping the Cubs will win the World Series!
“I LOVE THE CUBS – BUT I LONG FOR A PENNANT!”
Bumper Sticker
“I LOVE THE CHURCH – BUT I LONG TO FEEL AT HOME THERE!”
J. Daniel Lupton
All churches are imperfect because imperfect people, who have been redeemed by the LORD Jesus Christ, make up it’s ranks.
Once you agree on the essential doctrines of the historic Christian faith, and that Salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone the next major need in a church is a loving, nurturing, caring, committed group of believers to one another!
Individuals who are committed to sticking together through thick or thin! Where has commitment gone these days?
Why are bars and taverns so popular with people? They are popular for reasons you may never have thought of!
It isn’t just about alcohol!
It is about fellowship!
God created us to be connected to one another!
Fish swim in a school
Elk in a herd
Geese in a gaggle
People are to live in community with one another!
“Making your way in the world today
takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all of your worries
Sure would help a lot.
Sometimes you wanna go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same.
You wanna go where everybody knows your name.”
Cheers theme Song
WHY IS A TAVERN LIKE CHEERS SO POPULAR?
“People are looking for a place where they are known, where others are glad to see them, where they are accepted and called by name. They search for an environment where their need to love and be loved can be met, where they can connect with others and breathe the heady perfume of relationship. They are not picky about where they find this environment – they know beggars can’t be choosers.”
Among Friends: YOU CAN MAKE YOUR CHURCH A WARMER PLACE, James Hinkle, pg 40, Navpress
What this says is that satan has cleverly made an alternative to church.
He knows how God wired us.
He knows humans need fellowship, community and communion with one another. So he fabricated a good substitute.
We need to realize the importance of this connectedness needed by humans!
We need a Declaration of Dependence in the church to one another instead of the pervasive spirit of self and declaration of independence observed these days.
“I am a Rock – I am an Island.”
Isn’t good theology by Paul Simon!
Our primary purpose in coming to church isn’t to see what we can get.
It is to see how God can use us to contribute and serve others!
We come to give ourselves away!
We assemble to worship which is praising God for Who He is. But love for God shows up visibly and tangibly in love for each other!
HOW SERIOUS IS THIS NEED?
“Unless the church changes its form and gets back to community
and the sharing of lives personally, the church is done.”
Dr. Francis Schaeffer about the time of How Shall We then Live?
“[In the church] we can get by for a while on size, skilled communication, and programs to meet every need, but unless we sense we belong to each other, with masks off, the vibrant church of today will become the powerless church of tomorrow.”
Dr. Larry Crabb, Moody Monthly – January-February 2002
Community
Connectedness
Caring
These are all vital to evangelism and outreach in our world today!
“Postmoderns are often committed to community
before they are committed to Christ.”
Moody Monthly
It makes sense if you think about it! People in today’s society do not have a sense of identity beyond themselves: broken homes and families, no grandparents, a lack of cohesiveness, violence and fear in our world! This is why cults are so effective in recruiting people. They give people a sense of belonging to something bigger then themselves! A sense of family identity!
If we are individually and corporately as a church going to survive we will need to work harder then ever to foster the development of meaningful relationships with one another.
This isn’t easy with our busy hectic lifestyles.
This isn’t easy with our historic models for ministry where we flit from one activity and Bible Study to another without investing the time needed to really get to know one another. Some ministries can even be exclusive instead of inclusive.
Relationships take time to build and develop! More times of fellowship should be planned (i.e. dinners together) or small groups.
We need to guard against merely spending time with those we already know at church. We need to invite and allow others into our network of friendships and relationships.
We need to watch out for those who are new and get to know them.
Church isn’t just a holy huddle for the saints! It is a place were other sinners, just like yourself, can find hope, fellowship and meaning for their lives!
John Lennon died in 1980. Just prior to his death Rolling Stone Magazine interviewed John about, Help!, a song he had written.
“I remember when I was younger
So much younger than today.
I never needed any body’s help in anyway.
But now I’m older and not so self-assured
Now I’ve finally changed my mind
I’ve opened up the doors.
Help me if you can I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being around
Help me get my feet back on the ground.
Won’t you Please, Please, Help Me!
What about Help, in 1965? John answered: “When I wrote Help in 1965 they hailed it as another expression of the advance of Rock and Roll.
It was the cry of my heart
and no one came to answer me.”
“All the Lonely People,
Where Do they All Come From?”
