Satisfying the Father Hunger Within
Intro: Today we are reminded of one of the greatest needs that can be found in our world and our community. “It is being recognized more and more. Its effects are being felt over several generations. It is repairable only by the men in our society. It is within the true domain of ’home improvement.’ It is known as ’Father Hunger.’ Father Hunger is painfully felt by several generations. Grown men, some of them fathers themselves, feel a longing and emptiness created by the absence of fathering” (Kate McGoey-Smith Home Fires). Father hunger comes about when a father fails to give their children the love, support, and leadership they need.
-There’s a Spanish story of a father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months to no avail. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in a Madrid newspaper. The ad read: “Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father.” On Saturday 800 Pacos showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers. How many sons are out there wishing for their father’s love and acceptance?
-Although they long to, many people never come to terms with the Father Hunger within them. However, if they went through childhood never receiving the acceptance and approval of their father, their self-identity and sense of inner peace may suffer. Maybe they never heard their dad say 3 little life-changing words: “I love you.” As a result, some people search for the rest of their lives for a father’s love and acceptance. If only some people could have a chance to hear their dad say, “I am proud of you,” I believe it would have a profound influence on their life.
-Charles Adams was the United States ambassador to England under Abe Lincoln. He was in the habit of keeping a daily dairy. He also taught his 8-year old son Brooks, to do the same. One day, Mr. Adams took his son fishing. In his journal, the son wrote, “Went fishing with my father today, it was the most glorious day of my life.” For the next 40 years, he used that experience to tell people how beautiful life can be. His father’s diary showed the fishing trip, too. The father wrote, “Went fishing with my son. It was a wasted day.” Hopefully, most Dads would not feel that way about spending a day with their kids, but unfortunately, their actions do send that message sometimes.
-Now I am not suggesting that all of the problems we have are a direct result of bad fathering or the absence of a father. However, I hope you see how important it is for dads to step up and be the men God wants them to be. Maybe your children are all grown up, so you think your fathering is over. Let me suggest that your adult child needs your love and approval now as much as ever. It is not too late to tell them you love them or that you are proud to be their dad. If you’re having trouble with that concept, please read through Luke 15, and see the kind of love that must still be shown- even to wayward sons who have wasted their lives and shamed their families. It is not too late now, but it might be too late tomorrow. The road that leads home is paved with unconditional love and acceptance.
-The main thought I want to discuss today is this:
Prop: Our heavenly Father can and will satisfy the Father hunger within us.
Interrogative: What are some of the ways our Father helps us in our weaknesses?
TS: Let’s look at several actions Jesus attributed to His Father that show us how much He cares for each of us. These are taken from Matt. 5-7, which is part of what is called The Sermon on the Mount.
Our Heavenly Father Satisfies Our Father Hunger by…
I. Loving Us Unconditionally (5:44-48)
-Matthew 5:44-48 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. [Or another way to look at v.48 is “Be complete or mature in your love, just like your heavenly Father is.”]
-Jesus tells us in these verses that we are to love people unconditionally, so we can be like our Father, who loves us unconditionally. Our heavenly Father gives sunshine and rain to everybody, not just those who have been good or have met His approval.
-It is difficult to really understand this kind of love, let alone practice it. It is really hard for some of us to love people who are different from us. In general, there are a lot of Christians whose love seems to fade when they see things like tattoos, earrings on guys, long hair on guys, baggy/saggy pants, or if they smell tobacco or alcohol on someone’s breath. Folks, we must learn to look beyond these kinds of things and speak the language of love and acceptance. If we do not accept people just the way they are, then we are not loving them the way our Father loves us.
-1 John 4:19 says, “We love because he first loved us.” We are able to love others unconditionally because that is how God loves us. We have the example, and we have the ability to love.
-If we find that we are not loving others unconditionally, then perhaps it relates to our own childhood and the way love was or was not shown to us. If that is the case, God wants to heal our hearts with His unconditional love today. He loves you no matter what! Regardless of what you’ve done in the past; regardless of where you’ve been or what people have said about you… your heavenly Father is saying, “I love you just the way you are. I am proud of you! You bring a smile to My face. You are special to Me!” Will you receive this kind of love from your heavenly Father today? You don’t have to do anything special. Just say, “Father, I need some of that love! Please help me receive it.”
-One of the great things about our Father’s love is that He is patient with us and understands what we are going through. There is a story about a father who became disturbed about the length of time his 6-yr. old son was taking to get home from school.
The father decided he would make the trip to discover for himself how long it should take a small boy to cover the distance.
The father settled on 20 minutes but his son was still taking an hour. Finally the father decided to make the trip with his son.
After the trip, the father said, "The 20 minutes I thought reasonable was right, but I failed to consider such important things as a side trip to track down a trail of ants...or an educational stop to watch a man fix a flat...or the time it took to swing around a half dozen telephone poles...or how much time it took for a boy just to get acquainted with two stray dogs and a brown cat.
"In short," said the father, "I had forgotten what it is really like to be six years old."
-Well, our Father understands what it is like for us. But just to make sure, He sent His Son Jesus to experience human life. He was tempted in every way that we are tempted. He felt the same emotions and physical sensations that we feel. Jesus knows how tough it is to love some people. And now, Jesus is beside our Father in heaven, saying, “I know what Mark is going through. Let’s give Him a little extra help today.” You’ve got a friend in Jesus and a Father who loves you no matter what! You are going to make it!
Our Heavenly Father Satisfies Our Father Hunger by…
II. Rewarding Us Appropriately (6:1-6)
-I like rewards- even when I don’t deserve them! However, rewards are very special when they are given for appropriate behavior. Rewards are not tied to the unconditional love we just talked about, but they are a part of fathering. A person might miss a reward, but still be loved and accepted completely. Matt. 6:1-6 gives us two actions that must be accompanied by proper attitudes in order for a person to be rewarded. The 1st is found in verses 1-4.
-Matthew 6:1-4 "Be careful not to do your ’acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
A. True Generosity- Jesus showed the difference between true generosity and giving with ulterior motives. If you are conveniently generous only when people will know about it, then their approval is the only reward you will get. However, if you are giving out of a heart that cares about the person in need, then that is a true reflection of God’s heart, and He will reward you for it.
B. Relational Prayer is another thing the Father rewards.
-Matthew 6:5-6 5 "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites [or actors], for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
-Prayer is all about relationship. If we are more concerned about other people knowing that we pray than we are about connecting with God, then we are probably in danger of losing this reward. People can’t answer our prayers, only God can! God wants us to get real with Him and talk to Him personally. When we get real with Him in prayer, we can be sure that He will reward us.
-Now you might be wondering, how do these rewards help satisfy our Father Hunger? Well, being the active, caring father that He is, God provides incentives for us to do the right thing for the right reasons. Too often, we settle for appropriate behavior from our children, but we do not take the time to check on their attitude and motivation. God has a personal interest in each of us, and He is not interested in His children being a bunch of clones. He wants us to choose to do the right things for the right reasons, and so He rewards us when we do.
-It is easy for parents (and even teachers) to overlook all the good things a child does. However, as soon as they do something wrong, they are all over them for it. God likes to catch us doing right and reward us for it. He knows when we are doing wrong as well, but He wants to teach us and forgive us, and help us move on.
Our Heavenly Father Satisfies Our Father Hunger by…
III. Knowing What We Need Precisely (6:8)
-Matthew 6:7-8 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
-God knows exactly what you need today. If you are hurting inside, God already knows that and wants to help you. If your body is hurting, God also knows that and wants to help you. If your finances are hurting, God already knows what you need, and He is willing to provide for you. His care for you is precise. He knows what you need more than you do, and sometimes He doesn’t give us what we think we need.
-Some Dads will give their kids anything that they ask for. Too often, they do this to make up for not spending the time loving them the way they should. However, I admire the Dad who knows that his kids need more than lots of toys and material things. I admire the Dad who teaches his kids to work hard, save their money, practice self-control, and set and achieve goals. All the while, he makes it fun for the kid. That’s the kind of Dad I want to be. I want to help teach my kids to make a life for themselves, not just a living.
-Harmon Killebrew who used to play for the Minn. Twins said, “My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘You’re tearing up the grass.’ Dad would reply, ‘We’re not raising grass, we’re raising boys.’” That father knew that his boys needed quality, fun time with him- even if the lawn took a beating.
-God knows what we need, and He is actively working in us and on us, teaching us the lessons of life we need to learn most. Philippians 1:6 tells us that God has begun a good work in us and will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Phil. 2:13 says, “God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him.” God knows exactly what we need, and He is actively working in our lives to bring that about. He is satisfying the Father Hunger within us by taking so great an interest in us that He knows precisely what we need.
Our Heavenly Father Satisfies Our Father Hunger by…
IV. Forgiving Us Proportionately (6:14-15)
-Matthew 6:14-15 14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
-Again, God is not just about making us feel good and giving us whatever we want. He is about instilling truth and goodness in our hearts and lives. The lesson to be learned from these verses is that it matters how we treat other people. God will not continue to pour His kindness and forgiveness into our lives if we do not pass it on to others.
-We can never earn God’s forgiveness, but we can block it by not forgiving others. God is teaching us to love the way He does. If we refuse to learn from Him, He will not force it onto us. A heart that is clogged with unforgiveness is not able to receive the forgiveness that God offers. His forgiveness will come to us in the same way that our forgiveness goes out to others.
Our Heavenly Father Satisfies Our Father Hunger by…
V. Providing for Us Generously (6:26-33)
Matthew 6:26 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matthew 6:32-33 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 7:11 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
-God wants us to trust Him for material provision without making it our life pursuit. That does not mean that He doesn’t want us to work or to increase our ability to earn money. However, He does want us to be more concerned with doing what He wants than chasing after things that will not last. If we will pursue what is eternal, He promises to provide enough of the temporary resources to keep us going. In some cases He may bless us with abundance, and at other times, He may just ask us to trust Him. The apostle Paul said he had learned to be content in both situations. There is one thing we can be sure of: He will do what is best for us! If we choose to be selfish with our resources, He may allow us to go without until we learn to be generous like He is.
Conclusion: There are 2 things I want to leave with you. First, a sense of how much your Father cares about you. He loves you unconditionally, He rewards you appropriately, He knows what you need precisely, He forgives you proportionately, and He provides for you generously. He wants you to come close to Him and get to know Him so He can satisfy the Father hunger within you. The 2nd thing is a greater desire to love and accept others the way your Father loves and accepts you. We are able to love in this way because we are loved in this way. Maybe you have heard it said that those who have been abused are prone to become abusers themselves. Well, that can work in a positive way: Those who have been loved much are more prone to love others much.
-Finally, let me say that if you did not have a Dad who loved you unconditionally and gave you a deep sense of value, I am very sorry. I wish I could make all that pain and emptiness go away. One thing I can tell you, there is someone who thinks the world of you. There is someone who knows everything about you and still loves you completely, with no hoops to jump through, and no ulterior motives. Your heavenly Father wants to wrap you up in His arms and just hold you until you are full of the strength of His fierce love for you. If you will let Him, He will satisfy the Father hunger that burns inside of you. Let’s pray.
