A Real Man
CHCC: June 15, 2008 (Father’s Day)
INTRODUCTION:
Happy Father’s Day. This seems like a good day to talk about men. Do any of you miss the days when men were men and women were women and we all appreciated the difference? People have all kinds of ideas about what a “real man” is now a days. What image comes to your mind?
Maybe you think of a body-builder, or a motorcycle rider, or a warrior, or an athlete --- or maybe you picture some sort of Super Hero. That guy on the screen is called “Bachelor Man.” But these images of real men are one dimensional.
There’s another way to look at what makes someone a real man. Any one of those guys on the screen could be called a “man’s man.” But we’re going to look at what it takes to be “God’s man.”
According to the Bible, a real man helps others. He knows how to have fun. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to provide and protect those who depend on him. You can count on him to be there when you need him. He’s faithful. All these things are true of a real man … and they are all true of any good Dad.
Today we’re going to look at Paul’s description of a real man. It’s found in I Thessalonians chapter 2. Paul was describing the way he and Silas and Timothy had behaved when they first came to Thessalonica.
Here’s what he wrote: “…we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. I Thessalonians 2:7-8
There’s no doubt that Paul, Silas, and Timothy were “God’s men.” This was Paul’s second missionary journey, and these men were the first to bring the Gospel message to the people of Thessalonica. You can’t read this letter without seeing how deeply Paul loved these people.
You see, according to scripture, a “real man” is able to express real love.
1. A real man will express real love
I think loving comes naturally to most men. But expressing love is different matter. That’s why the Bible instructs the husband to LOVE his wife, but tells the wife to RESPECT her husband. Expressing LOVE seems to come more naturally to a woman than to a man.
Do you remember when you brought your first child home from the hospital? I don’t know about you, but it seemed to me that my wife just naturally knew how to take care of that little tiny baby. She seemed to know just how to hold Kaysha so her head didn’t flop over … and how to bounce her just the right amount to keep her happy.
On the other hand, the whole thing felt foreign to me. I felt like I was going to do something really wrong. I had to work on learning how to be gentle. But I did learn it … and before long I was able to bounce her just the right amount, and rock her to sleep --- and even change a diaper … when the occasion demanded it.
Taking care of our little girls didn’t come as naturally to me as it did to MOM --- but the effort was worth it. In fact, sometimes my little daughters even PREFERRED their dad. One time when Susan was about to pick little pre-school aged Kimberly up, she said, “No! I want daddy to carry me. He carries me high and slow.” I guess she liked the view from up there.
So guys, I want to challenge you on this Father’s Day. Keep working on expressing your love to your family. Your wife and kids may KNOW you love them, but they also need to hear it. Expressing love may not come naturally. It doesn’t to me.
Susan informed me that I don’t say those 3 words often enough. You know the words I mean. She tried to help me out and said, just repeat after me: I …. (I) La ….. (la) View. I la-view. Maybe that will help you. Go home and talk to your family about the “view.”
In his letter to the Thessalonians, Paul went on to say, Surely you remember, brothers, our toil & hardship; we worked night & day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. I Thessalonians 2:9
Paul was a tent-maker. He and Silas and Timothy weren’t trying to create the big “Wal-Mart of Tent Making” business so they could get rich. They were working hard purely for the benefit of others. And that’s what a real man does. A real man works in order to provide for others, not just for himself.
2. A real man works for a real reason
We talked about how expressing love is hard for a lot of men. But this way of showing love does seem to come naturally to most men. When a man goes to work day after day after day … and when he uses that pay check to buy housing and food and clothes for his family … that IS a powerful expression of love.
Sometimes men who have trouble expressing their love verbally. It’s easier for them to show their love with their actions … by working hard to take care of their family.
It’s easy to take that kind of love for granted. This Father’s Day might be the right time to actually THANK your dad for all his years of working so that you could have what you needed.
Notice that Paul said “we worked hard, while we preached the gospel of God to you.” A real man won’t let work become his whole life. He’ll provide more than money for his family. A real man gives his time and attention as well.
I remember back when I was about 14 years old, my mom had a talk with my dad. She said something about how my younger brother, Karl, and I were getting older === and if my Dad didn’t take some time to do things with us, it would soon be too late. (Isn’t it funny how the Mom is the one who has to point out the obvious?)
But that’s all it took for my Dad. He knew she was right about it. So he bought a rifle and a tent and other camping equipment and started taking Karl and I out hunting in the Arizona desert near our home in Scottsdale. I have a lot of good memories about those hunting trips.
But the funny thing is … as I look back on it … I don’t think my dad even liked hunting and fishing. He knew I was interested because I had asked for a rifle. But after Karl and I left home, I don’t think he ever went hunting or fishing again.
The point is, he did it for us. He found something we could enjoy together and he took the time and expense to make it happen. My Dad worked for our benefit. And he also planned his recreation with our needs in mind. That’s why to me, my dad stands out as a “real man.”
Here’s more that Paul said to the Christians in Thessalonica, “You are witnesses, & so is God, of how holy, righteous & blameless we were among you who believed. I Thessalonians 2:10 These men worked hard as tent-makers, and they preached the Gospel with all their might. But all that effort would have gone to waste if their LIVES had not backed up what they preached.
3. A real man lives a real life
It’s the same way in your home … and in mine. Believe me, your kids ARE witnesses of how you live your life at home! But here’s the good news: children don’t need perfect parents. (If they did, there’d be no hope for any of us!) What every child DOES need is a parent who lives a life of REAL faith.
You see, anyone who is serious about his or her commitment to Jesus Christ, WILL grow stronger and better every year. And your family will be witnesses of your transformation into the image of Christ.
When Children look at their dad, they don’t need to see a super-man. But they do need to see a REAL man … A man whose heart has been touched and changed by His God. A man who makes mistakes but has the courage to admit those mistakes and to try to make things right.
You see, God has commissioned Dads to be the spiritual leaders of the home. That is a heavy responsibility. For any of you who are Dads, let me say this: Whether or not you WANT the position of Spiritual Leader … you HAVE it. Simply because you are the DAD, you will either lead your family closer to God … or further away from Him.
VIDEO clip - Watching You by Rodney Atkins
That says it all, doesn’t it? Whether you’re a dad or not, someone is watching YOU. If you are willing to be “God’s man,” you will make a difference in a lot of lives … because a real man makes a real difference.
4. A real man makes a real difference
This message isn’t just for Dad’s. Many of you fill the spot of DAD to young people who are not your biological children. There’s a void in so many people’s lives where “Dad” ought to be. If you are willing to become “God’s man,” He will give you the opportunity to make a real difference in the lives of young people who need your influence.
You see, whether we are parents or not, all of us have the responsibility to make a real difference. We can ALL do what Paul talks about in I Thessalonians: For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting & urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom & glory.” I Thessalonians 2:11-12
God may give any one of us the chance to be a father in someone’s life by encouraging and comforting them, and urging them to live a life worthy of God.
I think of a young man named Adrian who was in my Youth Group back in a former church. Adrian’s dad --- who had, unfortunately, never been much of a dad to Adrian --- decided to move to Mexico right before Adrian’s Senior year of High School. A family in our church took Adrian in to live with them, and he stayed with them for about 3 years. Adrian moved out of their home when he got married.
Then, about 10 years later, Adrian and his wife separated. About 4 months later, they got back together, and Adrian said the reason he went back to his wife and kids was because of the Windham family.
He said that when he first moved in with the Windhams, he kept waiting for John (the dad) to get off his good behavior. He figured eventually he’d lose his temper and let loose on him … or on his son Gary … or on his wife. But it never happened.
Adrian said, “I got to thinking about that … and I realized that it IS actually possible to have a good marriage …. and a good family … and a good home. I decided that I’m going to do anything it takes to make that happen in my family .”
And I’m glad to say that Adrian is still with his wife …. and they have successfully raised their son and daughter. His life is a testimony to the difference a REAL MAN can make.
CONCLUSION:
You know, Father’s Day can be a hard day for a lot of people. Not everyone has good memories of their Father. And most Dad’s have things to regret when they look back on what they did and said as a Father. But all of us can rejoice in one thing on Father’s Day … because we have a Heavenly Father.
God has offered Himself in the position of Father for all of us. And He is the ONLY perfect Father.
• He expressed his LOVE for us by coming to earth to live as a man
• He lived a PERFECT LIFE and gave us the perfect example to follow
• He completed WORK of salvation by giving His life on the Cross
• He makes ALL the DIFFERENCE in the lives of anyone who will accept Him in faith.
Your Heavenly Father can fill in the gaps that have been left by your earthly father.
And if you ARE a Dad, He will give you the power to be the kind of father you want to be. Where you fall short, He can make up the difference.
Let’s pray … “Our Father in Heaven….
