Made For A Mission-Beware of Bad Advice
April 27, 08 2 Samuel 13:1-9 Philippians 4:4-9
There is only one thing worse than some bad advice, and that’s getting some bad advice and following it. How many of you have ever gotten some bad advice in your life? You were made for a mission, and nothing will get a mission headed off in the wrong direction quicker than following some bad advice.
Believe it or not, some of the worse advice we can get will originate out of our own hearts and minds. How many of you talk to yourself and have little conversations with yourself? Have you discovered yet, that you will lead your ownself astray with some bad advice from self talk. You may not have all the facts necessary to make a wise decision. A little knowledge can be a bad thing.
We are going to continue on with the fall out from King David’s decision to go for a walk on his roof late one night. In our last message, David lost an infant son. Today we want you to meet his first born son. His name was Amnon. As the first born son, Amnon would by law be the first in line to become the next king.
Everybody wanted to be his friend, because he was the upcoming man. He has a reputation for really turning on the women. He’s a ladies man and quite the player. He can get away with a lot because he’s the king’s son, and people want to be connected to him so that when he’s top dog, the man, the king, they will have an inside track for favors.
Amnon finally ran into a young woman that could not be swayed by his charm or his position. He wanted her so badly that he knew it just had to be love. He came up with all kinds of schemes to get a chance at being alone with her, but nothing was working. Her name was Tamar and she was absolutely beautiful. She was the sister of Absalom. Amnon became so frustrated at not being able to make a move on Tamar that he started to make himself sick on the inside
The bible tells us that Tamar is the sister of Absalom for a reason. Absalom is Amnon’s brother which makes Tamar his sister. We have here two sets of David’s children by two different women. The bible is a real book about real life and real situations. Amnon is really considering incest, which is having sex with someone in your family. We don’t like to think that incest goes on in churches, but it does. It begins like it began with Amnon. A person takes some bad advice from himself or herself about how great it would be to have so and so.
Parents we don’t want to think our kids in our family look at each other in sexual ways and act upon it but they do. We don’t want to think that our brothers or aunts, or fathers or grandfathers, would touch our kids in the wrong way but they sometimes will. Listen to what your youth are saying to you, and don’t look naively when you discover some things on your own.
Remember, sin infects all of our hearts, and if we listen to our hearts, we will get some bad advice. There may be someone here today who is being molested. That’s not God’s plan for you, and you can come to us for help. There may be someone here today who is thinking of molesting someone else in the family. Do not ruin your life or the life of the person you are looking at. Don’t listen to the bad advice you’re giving yourself of how easy it will be, and how great it will feel. You will be reaching into a pit of poisonous snakes and you’re going to get bit. If you are already involved in incest, its time for it to stop now.
Amnon was determined to get what he wanted at any cost. So since he could not come up with a plan, he went around with his mouth poked out hoping somebody might be able to help him. It was no accident that he ended up with a fellow by the name of Jonadab. Jonadab was a person who looked out for himself.
Jonadab would use whatever opportunity he could to get some dirt on you or to try to make you think he was your friend. He was much older than Amnon and was actually Amnon’s cousin. He was looking for a way to get in good with the future king. He had a reputation for being a very shrewd man. He knew how to help you get what you wanted, but the fact that he was very shrewd let you know, God was nowhere near his life. Don’t go to a Jonadab for advice!
He saw Amnon, the ladies man, looking somewhat sad morning after morning. He’s thinking this fellow has money, he has power, he has the eyes of the ladies, and he’s walking around looking sad. Here’s his opportunity to get in good with the future king. So he asks, “What’s up my man. Brother you look like you carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Give me a chance to give you some advice to get you out of this.”
Amnon said, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” Now Jonadab knows that Amnon is a player and probably wouldn’t know true love if it hit him in the face. He knows the gossip going on in the palace. He knows how fine and beautiful Tamar is. He knows what Amnon really means by being in love.
He says, “brother you’ve come to the right place for advice. All you need to do is to play sick. When your father comes in to see you, tell him you would like for your sister Tamar to come and fix you some bread in your sight and let you eat it from her hand. He probably then gives Amnon a wink of the eye so as to say, “I think you’ll figure out what to do from there.” I can see Amnon grinning in response thinking, “yeah, I can take it from there.”
So Amnon goes through this deception of being so sick with some kind of flu, that the king gets worried about it and comes to see his son. Youth, for all of you who wonder why parents don’t trust you, the bible gives us plenty of reasons of why parents should be reluctant about believing everything you say. Most of us know that we are deceptive with our actions. Amnon puts on a royal performance of fake sickness to persuade his father King David.
Now here is where we as parents can be naive toward our children. Think about this, if this boy is sick, how is watching his half sister bake some bread in his sight going to make him feel better and how is her feeding him going to cause the illness to go away.
Now men everyone of us knows how a man thinks. Tamar is a gorgeous knock down beautiful woman. If we are watching her cook some food, we are not looking at how much flour she put in the pot, and what number she set the stove temperature to for it to bake. We are not thinking about how good it smells as she cooks it. When she feeds us the bread and we’re looking into her eyes, we are not thinking, wow this bread sure is going to taste good.
King David wants to pretend that his son’s motives are completely pure. But probably because he messed up with Bathsheba, he is not willing to openly confront his son. Men, God has given us our daughters to protect them. We are to be their fence from other guys. When you start talking about leaving your wife, don’t forget you are leaving your daughters as well and who are you making them a potential prey for.
Our commitment to our daughters is best protected by us being faithful and committed to their mothers. Those of us who are having daughters all over the place by different women, how on earth are we able to be their first line of defense against guys wanting to use them.
Girls, you need to dress appropriately around all males. Put on a housecoat at home when you’re not dressed. I don’t care if its your brother, your cousins, your father, your uncle, or your grandfather. You may say ooh that’s nasty, but that does not stop Satan from getting involved and messing up our homes through incest.
Jesus came and died for us, because we all need a heart that has to be changed. Not only do we need to get saved, we need regular heart checkups, because any of us can fall into sin. There comes a time when you need to stop wrestling with the opposite sex. You need to stop sitting in guys laps. You need to stop touching girls in certain ways.
King David is betraying his daughter by agreeing to send her to visit Amnon without making it clear to Amnon, Tamar is not to be used like he’s been using other women. If he had said, “Boy if you even think about doing something to my daughter, your behind will be mine” this story probably wouldn’t be here in the bible. As hard as it may be, fathers we need to have this kind of talk with our sons and our brothers before something goes wrong.
Tamar gets the word from the king to go and bake some food for her brother while he’s sick. She goes to Amnon’s place, and he and his servants watches her as she prepares and cooks this food. They are in the kitchen and Amnon is lying down while all this is going on.
I can’t help but wonder what was going on in Tamar’s mind during this time of cooking. Did she feel the looks of the guys as they were admiring the beauty of her body? Was she flirting with them during the process laughing and joking as only you women know how to do especially when you’re trying to be one of the guys. Was she a teaser during the process?
Or is it possible that she felt somewhat used, knowing these guys are undressing her with their eyes. Was she getting more upset with her father for sending her there in the first place? Could she feel their lustful stares making her want to get out of there as soon as this cooking thing was over. This whole thing made absolutely no sense. Who on earth gave her father this bad advice for her to come to this place?
Just when it looked as though things could not get any more bizarre. It does. When she takes the bread to Amnon to eat the bread out of her hand, he refuses to eat it. He flips from being somewhat happy to being upset and ordering everyone to leave the kitchen while he limps back into his bedroom. He falls onto his bed and tells “Tamar, please bring the food into my bedroom so I can eat from your hand.”
Now women you have also got to look out for yourself. Here comes some more bad advice. He couldn’t eat in the kitchen, but he’s well enough to eat in the bedroom. You have got to know when to get out of a situation. Don’t keep thinking the best about a man or woman when’s he’s trying to isolate you alone in a secluded spot? It could be a setup for your downfall.
Tamar goes into the bedroom with her food in her hand. All of a sudden he’s not sick anymore, he grabs her by the hand and begs her to have sex with him. Come to bed and have sex with me my sister. She pleads with him, reminding him that he is her brother, reminding him this is wrong, and reminding him that he could seriously be jeopardizing his future in the kingdom. She tries to give him an alternative to them being together by bringing up marriage.
She says in verse 12 chapter 12, "Don’t, my brother!" she said to him. "Don’t force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. 13 What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you." This is the best advice that anyone has given to Amnon. Think about what this is going to cost you. He’s holding on tight to her, so she knows he’s serious about this.
Amnon had plans that all he was going to do was to have to get her alone, and she would melt in his arms like all the other women had done. But not this time. She is a woman of faith and high moral values. She fights him back, but the Scripture says, because he was stronger than she, he raped her. Ladies just because you’re saved doesn’t mean you won’t be raped if you let yourself get into bad situations. Think before you go alone with someone. They may have something more in mind than you intended. Men you need to do the same thing. Be careful on the internet.
Amnon thought he was going to have the time of his life. But things did not come out like he thought. In verse 15, he does another flip. It says “Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out.” The world tells us that sex is the gateway to love. Not here. The moment this sex thing is over, Amnon realizes how much its going to cost him, and he wants to throw the blame on her. He thought it was love, but it was nothing but pure lust. The bad advice he had listened to is not going to help him much now.
So many of our teens did not make the true love waits commitment. Many of our adults have also not made that pledge. They don’t realize that there is an Amnon waiting to use them so that after they’ve done their thing, they can “yell get up and get out of my life.” This is at the root of the baby mama drama that everybody likes to talk about. There is no drama with true love waits. Wanting something can be so much more exciting than actually having it.
Tamar is brave enough to cause some drama of her own. She says no, I’m not going anywhere. Sending me away would be a greater wrong that what you have already done to me. In other words, you tricked me over here. You raped me, and now you think I’m going to keep my mouth shut just so you can go on with your life even though you have destroyed mine.
When Amnon sees she’s serious, he calls in his personal servant and says, “get this woman out of here and lock the door behind her.” He wants to give the impression that she came into the room and started making advances toward him trying to take advantage of him while he was sick. He wants the door locked so that she can’t turn around and try to come back to him again. Amnon thinks that he can shame Tamar into keeping quiet.
Tamar was not only beautiful, she was also strong on the inside. She was not going to let Amnon do this to someone else, and she was not going to suffer in silence. The virgin daughters of the king wore a special kind of ornamented garment that was immediately recognized by everyone. She put ashes on her head, and she ripped the ornamented garment, and went out of that house crying aloud. Everyone who saw her, knew immediately that she had been sexually violated to be seen like that. It was no secret that Amnon was the perpetrator.
When Tamar ran into her brother Absalom, he went to comfort his sister. He knew immediately that only Amnon would have been bold enough to have done something like this to the daughter of the king. He told her not to worry about trying to get even with Amnon.
When King David found out what had happened he was furious and did absolutely nothing about it. I think he didn’t want to hear, “well Dad, I learned how to do this by watching what you did with Bathsheba.” You know parents even mistakes in our past, do not disqualify us from being able to say what is right and what is wrong. You simply acknowledge I was wrong, and I paid price for it. You are wrong and you too will pay a price.
Absalom didn’t speak to his brother for two years, because he hated him for what he had done to his sister. Amnon thinks he got away with what he did because it’s been two years, but he doesn’t know this thing is not over. But you have to catch the next sermon to find out what happened.
This whole thing began with listening to some bad advice. All of us are listening to something today. What advice are you listening to today? Who is it that has your ear? Is it godly person who’s looking out for your best interest, or someone shrewed like Jonadab who can get you what you want, so that they can use you later.
What advice are you listening to today? Is it coming from that smooth talker like Amnon who is telling you, how good you look and how much he or she loves you. Or is it coming from the person whose telling you, how to get an education, how to be successful in life, and how to be a true man or woman of God.
What advice are you listening to today? Is it coming from a person who has already stood by your side when you had a need in your life, a person who has shown over time that they care about you, a person who is going to be there for you in the future. Or is it coming from somebody who wants something that you got, somebody who after they get what they want, just might say, get up and get out. Somebody who says keep on walking and lock the door behind you. Where is your advice coming from today?
Remember it was Jesus who said, “ The devil has some advice, but its for the purpose of stealing from you, its for the purpose of destroying you and its for the purpose of ultimately killing you. But Jesus said, I’ve got a purpose with the advice I have to give. My purpose is to give you life. My purpose is to give you joy. My purpose is to give you life abundantly.
My advice will change you on the inside. My advice will change you on the outside. My advice will bring you to your knees. My advice will change where you’re headed. My advice will get you to the place where you can hear the words, “Well done, Well done, well done, my good and faithful servant.
Sermon Outline Pastor Rick
Made For A Mission-Beware Of Bad Advice 4-27-08
2 Samuel 13:1-9 Philippians 4:4-9
A. Hey I Know About Bad Advice (BA)
1. Made For A Mission Avoid B.A.
2. Just Talking To Yourself
3. Not All The Facts
4. Continuing What David Started.
B. Amnon- King’s Eldest Son
1. I Want To Be Your Friend
2. The Player, The Man,
3. Can’t Get Next To You Babe
4. Tamar The Beautiful
5. A Frustrated Young Man
C. When Our Homes Are Invaded
1. Amnon, Absalom, Tamar
2. Two Families In One
3. The Bible Is Real In Life
4. Incest In The Home
5. Parents Being Real
6. Dealing With Molestation
7. Speak Up, Stand Down
D. Bad Advice Coming Your Way
1. Amnon Looking Sad
2. Jonadab Shrewd Man With A Plan
3. Being Used & Not Knowing It
4. Is It Love Or Is It Lust
5. A Bad Plan Put Into Motion
E. A King Is Deceived
1. Fake Sickness--& Food
2. King As A Man Should Know Better
3. Men Protect Your Daughters
4. Girls Do Your Part
5. Jesus Came For Heart Trouble
6. A Father Betrays His Daughter
F Tamar Is Sent To Visit Amnon
1.What’s Happening In The Kitchen
2. How Does She Feel
3. Great Experience—Angry Humiliated
G. When Amnon Flips
1. First Remove The Witnesses
2. Then Change The Scene
3. Be Wise—Don’t Be Alone
4. Avoid Setups & Traps
5. Amnon Seizes His Sister
H. Tamar Tries To Reason
1. Think Of You, Of Me, Of Us
2. Think What It Will Cost.
3. A Righteous Woman In An
Unrighteous Situation
I. Amnon Finds Out The Truth
1. Did Not Get What He Planned
2. A Fight He Had Not Anticipated
3. Saved & In Trouble
4. Amnon Truly Flips
5. Hatred Is Greater Than Love
6. Trying To Blame Somebody Else
7. Get Up And Get Out
J. There Are Too Many Amnons Waiting
1. Waiting For Teens & Adults
2. No Drama In True Love Waits
3. Tamar Causes Needed Drama
4. Amnon Tries To Lie & Blackmail
5. Tamar Is One Strong Woman
6. A Woman Of Virtue
7. Absalom Comforts Her Sister
8. King David Is Furious
9. Don’t Let Your Past Silence You
10. 2 Years Does Not Mean It’s Over
K. Who’s Your Source Of Advice
1. Smooth Talker—Highly Motivator
2. Stood By Your Side—Trying to Get
3. What The Devil’s Purpose Is
4. What Jesus’ Purpose Is
5. The Power Of Jesus’ Advice
