SERIES: “DISCOVER FORGIVENESS: Finding Freedom Through Forgiveness”
TEXT: SELECTED
TITLE: “THE REWARDS OF FORGIVENESS”
OPEN: A. Good news and bad news this morning:
1. Bad news
a. People have let you down
b. Because of that, many of us are carrying around scars and some even have fresh wounds
from other people who have offended us or let us down or hurt us in some way
2. Good news
a. God has provided a way for us to find healing from all the pain and hurt
--It’s called “forgiveness”
b. Nothing is more basic or central for finding hoy and peace in our lives than forgiveness
B. As we’ve studied over the past several weeks, forgiveness is not an option for the Christian
1. Jesus said, “If you don’t forgive others, my heavenly Father will not forgive you.”
2. In His model prayer to us, Jesus taught us to pray: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive
those who trespass against us…”
C. As we can all testify, forgiveness is not always easy
--There is a cost to forgiving someone else
1. Forgiveness essentially means that we have cancelled a debt
2. It means that we’re letting go of the wrong that was suffered
3. It means that we’re putting away the desire for revenge
4. It also means that we’re releasing the entire situation and allowing God to take care of it
D. This morning I want to do two things
1. I want us to look at the rewards of forgiveness
2. Then I want to answer some questions that have been asked concerning forgiveness
E. When we forgive another person, we have experienced Christianity at one of its highest levels
--During the process of forgiveness, we discover that we’re allowed to participate in a supernatural
event in which:
1. God not only gives us the command to forgive
2. He provides the power to forgive
I. Reward Number One: FORGIVENESS MAKES YOU MORE LIKE GOD
A. You are never more like God than when you forgive
1. When God saves us, He wipes out our past
2. The moment you become a Christian, you’re forgiven
--completely and permanently
3. But also recognize one thing: God never leaves us the way we are
a. We come “Just As I Am” but God loves us too much to leave us that way
b. God begins a lifelong process of making us more like Jesus every day
c. 2 Cor. 3:18 – “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed
into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
4. When you begin the pilgrimage of forgiving another person, you begin a journey that leads you closer
and closer to resembling Jesus
--Eph. 4:32 – “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God
forgave you.”
B. The first reward of forgiveness is that you begin to look like Jesus to other people
1. When you forgive
a. You’re extending the same forgiveness you’ve received to the individual who needs to be forgiven
b. In that capacity, you begin to resemble Jesus and you become more like God
2. Satan’s whole agenda is destroyed by forgiveness
a. When we refuse to forgive, we’re right where the Devil wants us
--proud, unmerciful, and disobedient
b. But when we begin to forgive, we begin to look more and more like our Great Forgiver – Jesus
Christ
--Rom. 8:29 – “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his
Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”
3. On a wall near the main entrance to the Alamo in San Antonio, Texas, is a portrait with the following
inscription: “James Butler Bonham – no picture of him exists. This portrait is of his nephew, Major
James Bonham, deceased, who greatly resembled his uncle. It is placed here by the family that people
may know the appearance of the man who died for freedom.”
a. No literal portrait of Christ exists either
b. But the likeness of the Son who makes us free can be seen in the lives of His true followers
II. Reward Number Two: FORGIVENESS BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO GOD
A. I have definitely learned that it is impossible to have a good relationship with God if there are problems
going on in my relationships with other people
1. We like to think that we can have a breakdown in a human relationship and go on and relate to God
like nothing happened
2. In my own home, if I came in after being gone all day, I knew immediately if the kids had been
arguing and bickering
--They could pretend like nothing had happened but I certainly picked up on the cues that tell me what
was going on
3. If I can pick up on the clues then Almighty God who knows everything can most certainly pick up on
what’s going on!
4. Remember the story of Cain and Abel?
a. Summarize the murder
b. Gen. 4:9-10 – “Then the LORD said to Cain, ‘Where is your brother Abel?’ ‘I don’t know,’ he
replied. ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’ The LORD said, ‘What have you done? Listen! Your
brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.’”
--God knows!
B. A lack of forgiveness on our part will lead to a alack of a quality relationship with God
1. Mt. 5:23-24 – “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your
brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be
reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
2. The apostle John reminds us in 1 Jn. 4:20 – “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a
liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not
seen.”
3. Jesus said several time that if we refuse to forgive others, God will not forgive us.
III. Reward Number Three: FORGIVENESS RECAPUTRES THE FREEDOM OF YOUR SOUL
A. Dr. S.I. McMillen, None of These Diseases: “The moment I start hating a man, I become his slave. He
even controls my thoughts. I can’t escape his tyrannical grasp osn my mind. When the waiter serves
me steak, it might as well be stale bread and water. The man I hate will not permit me to enjoy it!”
1. Unforgiveness is a toxin and an unforgiving heart always leads to a tormented spirit
2. When you refuse to forgive someone, the pain becomes part of you
3. When you refuse to forgive, you’re taking your own happiness and freedom of soul and handing it
over to the person you cannot forgive
--Malachy McCourt: “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
B. Max Lucado, Let The Journey Begin:
Perhaps the wound is old. A parent abused you. A teacher slighted you. And you are angry.
Or perhaps the wound is fresh. The friend who owes you money just drove by in a new car. The boss
who hired you with promises of promotions has forgotten how to pronounce your name. Your circle of
friends escaped on a weekend getaway, and you weren’t invited …
Part of you is broken, and the other part is bitter. Part of you wants to cry, and part of you wants to fight.
The tears you cry are hot because they come from your heart, and there is a fire burning in your heart.
It’s the fire of anger. It’s blazing. It’s consuming. It’s flames leap up under a steaming pot of revenge.
And you are left with a decision. “Do I put the fire out or heat it up? Do I get over it or get even?
Do I release it or resent it? Do I let my hurts heal, or do I let hurt turn into hate.”
Resentment is the deliberate decision to nurse the offense until it becomes a black, furry, growling,
grudge.
Unfaithfulness is wrong. Revenge is bad. But the wors part of all is that, without forgiveness, bitterness
is all that is left.
C. Louis Smedes: “In this world in which people do hurt each other – sometimes hurt us a lot – when you
begin to forgive, you set a prisoner free, and then you realize that the prisoner you set free was you.”
1. When you forgive, you walk hand-in-hand with God
2. When you forgive, you heal the wounds
3. When you forgive, you ride the crest of God’s love, mercy, and grace
D. The question this morning is this: Will you?
1. We’re going to take time together to pray
--I’m going to give you a few moments to search your hearts and silently speak to God concerning
any bitterness and unforgiveness in your own life and them I’ll lead us audibly in prayer
2. Forgiveness is not done in your own strength but in God’s strength
--Forgiveness is not a natural thing. It’s a supernatural thing
3. Ask God to help you with any bitterness or resentment
a. Do you remember the story of Corrie Ten Boom I told two weeks ago?
--If not, or if you were not here then, I’d like to repeat it for you now
b. The year was 1947. It was almost two full years after the liberation of Auschwitz, as Corrie
Ten Boom, a survivor of that terrible concentration camp, stepped forward in a German church
to share her testimony. As she stepped forward, she prayed that God would use her words to
bring about healing, forgiveness, and restoration.
When she finished her message, a man stepped forward, moving his way through the crowd
of people there to talk to Corrie. He looked familiar… like she’d seen him somewhere before.
As she looked into his eyes, it all became crystal clear. She recognized him.. She could see him
in the uniform holding a whip. She remembered her sister dying a slow and painful death at his
hands. The memories came flooding back to here – memories from Auschwitz and this an who
had bee a guard at the camp.
He spoke with his eyes looking sadly into hers. He said, “I’m a Christian now. I know that
God has forgiven me, but will you forgive me?” He stretched his hand to receive hers.
Corrie stood there for what must have seemed like an eternity, although it was probably only
a moment or two. She knew that she needed to make a choice. Would she forgive the man at
whose hand she experienced so much pain, hurt, and humiliation? Would she? Could she?
She silently prayed, “Jesus, I need your help. I can lift my hand, but you need to supply the
feeling.” She slowly raised her hand, reached out to the man and took his hand in hers. As she
reached out, a warm sensation filled her heart. God was indeed faithful. She said, “I forgive
you, brother – with my whole heart.”
That day, former guard and former prisoner were both healed and set free from the bondage
of bitterness and anger.
c. Maybe you need to whisper that same prayer this morning: “Jesus, I can’t forgive that person or
those persons who have wronged me. Grant me Your help and help me extend the hand of forgiveness to them.”
4. Let’s pray….
CLOSE: A. I promised you that I would answer some questions that have been asked concerning forgiveness
--Here they are:
1. When should I confront someone who has wronged me, and when should I forgive someone
without confronting them?
a. Simple reality: If we confronted other people every time we thought that they had wronged
us, that’s all we’d ever do
b. There are times when it’s wise to forgive the other person without confronting them,
especially when the issue is relatively rather minor
c. There are times when the confrontation would do more damage to the relationship than
simply forgiving them
d. Two questions to ask
1). Is this issue important enough?
2). Is my relationship with this individual important enough?
a). If the convenience store clerk interrupts your conversation at the cash register, it’s
probably not worth getting upset
b). If your spouse continually interrupts what you’re trying to say, it’s probably worth
talking about at some point
e. However: DON’T RUSH INTO CONFRONTATION
1). There will be a time when the other person is ready to hear you and you’ll be ready to
speak to them concerning the subject
2). As Christians we need to listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit and He will let us know
when it’s time
2. A related question: When should I apologize to someone?
a. If the offense just involved you, such as harboring bitter thoughts or lustful thoughts, it’s
probably best just to speak to God about the matter
--Especially if the other person has no idea about what’s been going on in your thought life
3. Shouldn’t I wait until the person who has wronged me repents before I forgive them?
a. Simple answer: No
--Forgiveness is your responsibility and it’s under your control
b. If you never re-establish the friendship or you and your spouse never get back together, it
won’t be because of the bitterness and hatred in your heart
4. Doesn’t forgiveness make me a doormat?
a. God is a forgiver and he certainly is not a doormat!
b. God says, “I love you and I forgive you. Now, cut that out!”
5. How do I handle repeat offenders?
--Or, what if I believe that their repentance is false
a. Jesus was very clear about repeat offenders
--70x7
b. Forgive just as God forgives you
--Just remember: We’re all repeat offenders against God
c. Definitely set up some boundaries if you believe they’re insincere but forgive them anyway
1). Suppose a person is being abused by their spouse. The abuser says they are sorry. They
forgive them. But they also tell the abuser that unless they get some help that they will
not return to the house
2). Is that incompatible with forgiveness?
--No. You can care about the person, you can forgive them and still insist that
something change. If fact, if you care about the relationship you know that there will
have to be change.
6. What if I don’t fell like forgiving them?
--Obedience to Christ doesn’t necessarily mean we’re going to like it until we experience it!
B. Just a few years ago, the Southwest News reported this story:
It was five days before Christmas when a stranger approached ten-year-old Christopher
Carrier., claiming to be a friend of his father. “I want to buy him a gift, and I need your help,”
said the stranger. Eager to do something good for his dad, Christ climbed aboard a motor home
parked up the street
The driver took Chris to a remote field, claiming to be lost, and asked Chris to look at a map.
Suddenly Chris felt a sharp pain in his back. The stranger had stabbed him with an ice pick. The
man drove the wounded boy down a dirt road, shot him in the left temple, and left him for dead in
the alligator-infested Florida Everglades.
Chris lay lifeless for six days until a driver found him. Chris miraculously survived his
injuries, though he was blind in his left eye. Because he was unable to identify his attacker, police
could not make an arrest. For a long time young Chris remained frightened, despite police
protection.
Finally at an invitation given after a church hayride, Chris trusted Jesus Christ as his Savior.
He recalls, “I was overwhelmed with emotion; because I knew I had never really accepted and
personally met the Savior.” This turning point in Chris’ life came three years after the attack. At
age 15, Chris shared his story for the first time. He eventually decided to pursued full-time
ministry, helping others to find the peace he had discovered in Christ.
In 1996, a detective told Chris over the phone that a man had confessed to the crime that had
cost him his left eye. The man’s name was David McAllister. Chris made plans to visit the now
feeble and blind man, living in a nursing home. The strong young man Chris remembered was
a broken, humbled 77-year-old.
Chris learned from the detective some of the background of what had happened years ago.
McAllister had been hired by Chris’ father to work as a nurse for an ailing uncle. Chris’ dad had
caught McAllister drinking on the job and fired him. The senseless attack on Chris had been
motivated by revenge.
As Chris now talked to the old man, at first McAllister denied knowing anything about the
kidnapping. As Chris revealed more about himself, the old man softened and eventually
apologized. Chris said, “I told him ‘What you meant for evil, God has turned into a wonderful
blessing’” Chris then told his attacker how God had allowed his wounds to become open doors
to share the good news of Christ.
Chris went home and told his wife and kids about meeting the man who had tried to kill him.
The entire family began almost daily visits to McAllister’s nursing home. During one Sunday
afternoon visit, Chris popped the most important question he had yet asked McAllister. “Do you
want to know the Lord?” McAllister said, “Yes.” Both men basked in forgiveness as McAllister
gave his heart to Christ. A few days later, McAllister died, peacefully, in his sleep.
Chris said it is not a story of regret, but of redemption. “I saw the Lord give that man back his
life, and so much more,” He also said, “I can’t wait to see him again someday in heaven.”
C. Forgiveness is not a head problem – It’s a heart problem
--Today is the day to get your heart right with the Lord
