“A Mother’s Love"
5/11/2008
Rev. John Sattler
Holy Cross Lutheran Church
Indianapolis, Indiana 5/14/2008
Isaiah 66
13 As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;
VIDEO – Mom’s 101
http://sermoncentral.sermonspice.com/listings/88/Mother’s%20Day/
It’s humorous sometimes how children perceive their parents, especially mom…
A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the Magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: My name has six letters. The first one is M. I pick up things. What am I? When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word Mother.
A young father was trying to explain the concept of marriage to his 4-year-old daughter. He got out their wedding album, thinking visual images would help, and explained the entire wedding service to her. When he was finished, he asked if she had any questions. She pointed to a picture of the wedding party and asked, “Daddy, is that when mommy came to work for us?
Kids can get kind of confused about the role that mom plays in their lives, BUT no one, not even her kids, misunderstands the love that a child receives from Mom… and so today, we’re here to worship God, but we do so on a [weekend] day set aside to honor our mothers…
Now, every Mother’s Day I struggle with how to honor mothers without offending anybody… cause there’s all kinds of people here in all kinds of different situations… and so I struggle with saying stuff about mom that makes it sound like dad doesn’t play as crucial a role in the life of their children… or upsetting those women who have chosen not to have children… or tried an can’t… or mom’s who think they’ve failed as a mom, or those of us who can’t really say that we’re thankful for our moms… or those of you who have bcome mom’s through adoption or by marrying into motherhood… or
maybe you’re grieving the recent death of your mother…
You take all that and put it together with the fact that we gather like this to worship GOD, not mom, and it gets kind of sticky.
It’s a similar kind of concern I have about Thanksgiving Day. It seems kind of odd that we should have a single day out of the year that our government has set aside to express our thanks to a God that our government can’t even acknowledge or talk about. …
because thanksgiving is what we do EVERY time we gather for worship… we’re here to be reminded again of what we’re so thankful for… So why do we have just ONE day for giving thanks? ...when it should be something we do all year long?
Same with Mothers’ Day. Shouldn’t we be expressing our thanks to Mom everyday?? Isn’t it odd that we do this one-day-thing?
And for the dads here this morning… please know that we’re not trying to ignore you. You’ve got a day coming up too, but for some reason without all the hype that Mothers’ Day gets.
And just in case there are some dads here haven’t bought anything for Mothers’ Day yet (& I know she’s not your mom… but there still needs to be some recognition of the role that she’s played in your children’s lives…) so… let me give you some tips (in case you were planning to stop by WalMart on your way home)… ---------or at least you are NOW!
1. Don’t buy anything that plugs in. Anything that requires electricity is seen as utilitarian… and it’s not for HER.
2. Don’t buy clothing that involves sizes. The chances are one in 7,000 that you will get her size right, and your wife will be offended the other 6999 times. "Do I look like a size 16?" she’ll say. Too small a size doesn’t cut it either: "I haven’t worn a size 8 in 20 years!"
3. Avoid all things useful. The new silver polish advertised to save hundreds of hours is not going to win you any brownie points.
4. Don’t buy anything that involves weight loss or self-improvement. She’ll perceive a six-month membership to a diet center as a suggestion that’s she’s overweight. You don’t like her the way she is.
5. Don’t buy jewelry. The jewelry your wife wants, you can’t afford. And the jewelry you can afford, she doesn’t want.
6. Finally, Don’t spend too much. Cause she’ll ask "How do you think we’re going to afford that?". But don’t spend too little. She won’t say anything, but she’ll think, "Is that all I’m worth?"
So good luck guys… that doesn’t leave you much…
Some of us here are in a role that puts us in a kind of weird place… and that’s when we’re taking care of our own mother (some of us both parents). It’s called the “Sandwich Generation.” Stuck in-between. We’ve got our own children, who—even when they’re out of the house still take a lot of time. AND we have MOM around too… and so there’s this strange reversal of roles… where now the child takes care of the mom.
And for those of you in that situation, I know it’s hard sometimes… but WHAT A GREAT WAY to express your appreciation for all the times she tolerated YOU and put up with YOU… and rolled her eyes at you. Those of you in that situation, YOU are to be honored here today too… for being the parent of your parent.
(And if you’re here today and being cared for by a child, today is a day to express your thanks to THEM)
And while I know SOME of us probably grew up without a dad around, most of us had a mother… even if she wasn’t a perfect one….
Cause they don’t make perfect mothers.
Well… there was one. There’s only been one perfect mother… back in the Garden of Eden, but even a perfect mother ended up with a son who was a murderer. So let me share with all the mothers here today, don’t beat yourself up for how your kids turned out. Don’t feel guilty.
Although one female family therapist said this, “Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilt, and I’ll show you a man.”
God has designed us in a such a way that even if we’re raised by perfect parents, we have a free will that makes it possible for us to make bad choices… and kids do sometimes… no matter how perfect a parent we are.
Because God intends forgiveness to go both ways.
A mother for her child and a child for the mother… where a mother helps a child understand that SHE make mistakes too… and needs forgiveness. So that both mother and child have a real firm grip on where forgiveness COMES FROM, and the fact that everybody NEEDS forgiveness, and that it’s only in Jesus that any human beings could live together in the kind of love that God intends.
And that’s the deal about mothers that I think we can celebrate here this morning that applies to our relationship WITH GOD… because mothers are a child’s first experience with the kind of love we have from God.
There is an unconditional acceptance that mothers have for their children, even when they turn out to be less than perfect… cause mothers understand that… especially Christian mothers. We understand that they don’t make perfect children yet… there’s only been one… and they ended up crucifying Him between 2 thieves.
A mother understands that children are in need of the same forgiveness that WE have in Jesus… and the same unconditional love that God has for us all.
One of the dilemmas with human love is that it is often conditional. That is, "If you do what I want you to do or be what I want you to be, I will love you. If not, I will withdraw my love from you."
But that’s not how God’s love works. He loves us even when we don’t love Him or love each other.
Paul wrote to the Ephesians
Ephesians 2
4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions
Even when we’re not who we’re supposed to be, He still loves us enough to send His only Son, to be the payment for all of our sins.
There ARE still consequences for sin… … but the eternal consequences, were taken care of by Jesus.
A mother understands, that sometimes the best love you can show your child is to allow him to suffer the consequences for his behavior… but even that is an expression of love and helping the child to begin to understand what God’s love looks like.
And one of the best ways for a child to understand what “Unconditional love” looks like to SEE IT between mom & dad. The best way for mom & dad to show love to your children is to create a safe and loving home-life by loving each other... and loving each other even when the other isn’t very loveable.
Because “Conditional love” is not love at all. It is a means of controlling another person. “If you don’t…, then I won’t love you.” That’s not love. God’s Love is choosing to love even when it’s hard to love… even when they’re nailing your hands to a cross.
Love is isn’t a noun, it’s a VERB… it’s an ACTION that we demonstrate to each other… not only for the sake of the marriage, but for the spiritual wellbeing of our children as well.
And that’s why God had so much to say in the Bible about divorce. Not just because it hurts so much and makes holidays so complicated… but because of what it does to a child’s understanding of unconditional love… because then that child, for the first time, discovers that there IS no unconditional love--where a person is loved no matter what. Then a child figures out that love only lasts as long as you BEHAVE a certain way, or DO the right things…
God’s love IS truly unconditional. And so throughout the Bible that love that God has for us is depicted with “Bride and Groom” kind of imagery. Jesus is the Groom and we are the Bride…
Isaiah 62 says:
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.
Paul wrote to the Ephesians 5
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Divorce messes around with a child’s understanding of God’s love…
But even when a child doesn’t see it between mom & dad, they DO in the expression of a mother’s love for her child.
There are mothers who even mess that up… but for most of us… mothers are THE source of unconditional love… where we are loved just because of who we are, not because of our behavior or even our failure to return that love.
And so even though a mother’s love isn’t a perfect demonstration of God’s love for us… it IS a first experience… and therefore a lasting image that forms in the mind of the child.
And so that’s why God designed things the way He did… with newborn humans needing parents to raise them… That’s why God put us into families.
It’s possible for God to create creatures that don’t need their parents… in fact, most of the planet works that way.
Our school kids got to experience that by watching a bunch of chickens hatch in an incubator… cause they come out pretty much ready to go… the hen doesn’t stick around (as a matter of fact, in this case there was no hen at all… unless you call Mrs. Searcy the hen) because the chicks come out already knowing how to eat and take care of themselves.
Humans? We need parents for years…
God did that on purpose, so that we’d grow up in a setting where we’d experience and begin to understand what LOVE is all about.
And again, there is no perfect set of parents who perfectly represent God to a child, but –even then—when a child sees parents who aren’t being very loving… and STILL they are committed to each other and forgive each other and work at it until they can BE Jesus to each other… that child learns that maybe even HE can be loved… even when he’s not loveable.
Because love isn’t something you can earn. And a child needs to know that.
Really, we ALL need to know that. And we learn that from Mom. The only reason a mother loves her child is because that child is hers. God doesn’t love us because of how we behave… He loves us because we are “His”. MADE “His” (children) through the working of His Holy Spirit in our hearts through faith.
Paul wrote to the Romans 8
16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ,
And so on this Mother’s Day, we give thank to Mom, whether we’re able to express this to her, or even if she’s gone ahead of us into heaven… our appreciation is for our first experience—and the on-going experience of what it means to be loved for who we are… not for what we’ve done.
So thanks, Mom, for introducing us to God.
Now, when Mother’s Day is over, and life gets back to normal, is it appropriate for us to forget Mom and to wait until next year to say thanks (for what she does)? Does that seem right? NO!
On the other hand, does she expect to be given gifts every day and
taken out to dinner all the time and
treated like a queen for a day. (well, maybe she does)… but the point is:
That when a mother loves her child, she doesn’t do it to get glory and honor. Although days like this are NICE, that’s not WHY mothers love like they do.
They love because they have love to give… and what a mother would want, even more than a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers, is for her children to learn to love others the way she loves them. What cuts into the heart of a mother more than anything, is when children are at odds with each other.
My mom died 25 years ago in an accident. And after she died, my dad and my brothers and sisters were sitting on the front steps of the hospital wondering what to do next … and my little sister (who was just a teenager at the time)… after a long quiet spell, said “Who’s going to love us now?” Because mom was the one in the family who gave us all hugs and called us on the phone and sent us care packages and said she loved us.
And my older sister looked up and said, “I guess it’s up to us.” And we all hugged each other for the very first time. My dad hugged me for the very first time. And ever since then, we actually say “I love you” to each other.
And I know for a fact, that Mom wanted that more than anything in the world.
We didn’t have to LEARN love for the 1st time… we already knew that… but we hadn’t put that love into action in our relationships with each other…
Because the best expression of appreciation for love is when we love each other. A mother’s prayer isn’t just that her children will love HER. She wants us to love each other.
And isn’t that precisely what GOD wants us to do? I think that was one of the most important points that Jesus tried to make. He commanded it!
Jesus said
John 13
Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
And John wrote this: 1 John 3
23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.
The best way we can show our love for God is by how we treat each other. Moms help to see that for the very first time. The love of a mother matters. It sets the heart of a child for all of eternity.
Moms that make a difference invest themselves every day in the lives of their children. They intuitively know that mothering matters, because today makes a difference tomorrow.
Moms, God has uniquely positioned you to be the most influential person in the life of your child. You will mark them and set them on the trajectory for the rest of their life by what you do.
Those long conversations in the car between all those activities--they make a difference.
Mom, those bedside chats about boys and girls--they make a difference.
When you pack their lunches and put a little note in there for them to take to school--it makes a difference.
When you help them with their math problems even though you don’t have a clue yourself, you’re making a difference.
When you bring your kids to church week after week after week, you’re making a difference.
You make a difference with the countless things you do every day for your children.
You’re making an investment in their lives that will reap huge dividends for generations to come.
Why? Because when God wants to do something great in the world he doesn’t send in an earthquake. He doesn’t stir up a tornado. He doesn’t erupt a volcano. He sends in a child.
But before he sends in a child, he finds a woman to be a mom to that child.
When God needed a Moses, he found a Hebrew slave girl living by the banks of the Nile by the name of Jochebed to be his mother.
When God needed an Abraham Lincoln, he found a poor, illiterate Virginia farm girl by the name of Nancy Hanks to be his mother.
When God needed a Martin Luther King, Jr., he reached down and found the daughter of a poor, black preacher in Atlanta, Georgia by the name of Alberta Williams.
When God needed a Mother Theresa, he found an impoverished, Albanian young woman by the name of Nicole to be her mother.
When God needed a Savior for the world, he found a young, Jewish girl living on the backside of an empire to be the mother of the Son of God, the Savior of the world.
God chooses women just like you--ordinary, average kinds of folks just like you--to do something very extraordinary IN you and THROUGH you, and to touch and make a difference in the world through you.
Moms, of all the women in the world, God chose you to be the mother of the children that you have. You are the one, Mom, that your children need. He chose you to be the mother to that child, (to those children) that you have. Because you are setting their hearts and their minds on God, an influence that will last for all eternity.
Let’s stand for prayer.
Heavenly Father, we pray for our families, especially for our mothers, that our homes may be places where Your Word is proclaimed and where Your love is experienced for the very first time. We thank You for the gift of parents, through whom You take care of us. May we live all our days expressing our thanks by how we love one another, and as we honor father and mother, serve and obey them, and love and cherish them. Lord in Your mercy, hear our prayer.
