Why 31 Million Have Abandoned Their Faith In America
(Conquering conflict, crisis and circumstances)
(Phil. 2:1-10)
Some American Christians have lost their confidence in church, but that they also have lost their faith in the Bible, the church and Christian beliefs, said the author, who was addressing attendants at the annual convention of the Evangelical Press Association in Portland, Ore.
Over 31 million Americans are part of this exodus from the church, Samford said, citing a Barna Group study.
"Any business that is losing 31 million customers is going out of business," he told a room of Christian journalists and editors. "[It] is the greatest crisis among Christians today in the U.S., Canada and some parts of Europe…We must break the silence in our publications.”
Americans are afraid of pain, conflict or crisis of any kind. Not so with the apostle Paul. Instead of complaining as he was chained to a Roman prisoner for more than two years he wrote, "There is encouragement in Christ, consolation of love, fellowship of Spirit, affection and compassion. Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in Spirit, intent of one purpose. Regard one another as more important than yourself. Have this attitude in you which was also in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 2:1-5)
Most interpersonal conflicts stem from turmoil, aggravation and stress within people. Jesus said, "It is not what is on the outside of person that defiles them but what comes out of their heart: hate, envy, greed, and jealousy." Most conflicts do not arise out of conflict of ideas but assumed hurts, violation of personal rights or a supposed threatening of one’s self-esteem. Basically, conflict is rooted in sin, selfishness and the projecting of our unresolved feelings and expectations on to others.
The following are a few solutions to the 31 million who are abandoning their faith and affiliation with church fellowships in America:
1. FAULTY OR DISTORTED PERCEPTIONS
Many Americans are deluded by the victimization or poor me syndrome that pervades our society. With the apostle Paul you see none of that. Chained to a Roman prison guard the apostle writes about all the benefits, blessings and rich resources He has in Christ. (Phil. 2:1,2) He even warns his audience to not complain, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit... Do all things without grumbling or questioning or doubting or complaining or fault finding toward God or others. That you may show yourself to be blameless and guileless as lights in the dark and perverse world. (Phil. 2:14,15)
Paul’s mantra was, "DON’T WHINE BUT SHINE."
Most of time I look at how much I’ve accomplished and improved over the years, but some look at me and see how much I should have done and how I left to be more loving, kind and cheery. Both perceptions are only half true and the cause of most conflicts. Paul chose to focus on the part of the glass that was full instead of the aspects of life that were less than ideal. Why not us?
2. CONFLICT OF PERSONALITIES
Some people are action oriented and want to see results. Others are more deliberate and want to make sure everything is done just right before proceeding ahead. One person will chafe at the lack of progress while the other will shout, "You are manipulating and using me." God designed both personalities to work in a complementary fashion instead of an adverarial one. Too many people quickly throw in the towel and quit. However, God’s help is at hand in the person of the Holy Spirit who mediates conflict if we will pray, worship and approach our issues under His control. He is blender of all personalities through Spirit led leadership. Ask God to let you find a way to allow the Spirit of God to find a middle ground in cooperating, collaborating and emphasizing mutual goals that can bring out the best in each person’s contribution.
3. CONFLICTS COME FROM FAULTY THINKING
Alan Redpath, who Pastored the Moody Memorial Church in Chicago had to mediate a particularly rancorous conflict between two rival factions in his church. He decided that by following the THINK formula they could politely agreed to disagree on non-essentials while agreeing on the essentials. He had them sign the following contract with each other:
T- Say, talk and work only on the basis of what is true.
H - Say, talk and work only on the things that are helpful to the goals of the church.
I - Say, talk and work only on things that will provide inspiriation for the edification, enrichment and evangelism ministries of the church
N - Say, talk and work only on things that the leaders of the church regard as necessary
K - Say, talk and work on projects that exhibit Godly kindness - (Rom 2:4) "Do not think lightly of the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience, knowing that the kindness of God leads us to repentance.
4. CONFLICTS COME AS WE EXAGGERATE OR OVER-REACT
Many times we react out of emotional responses instead of objectively assessing them in the light of God’s word, prayer and godly counsel. It is best to wait 24 hours before making any major decisions to be sure that the Holy Spirit is in full command of all of our emotional, mental, and spiritual faculties. It is too easy to react out of hand when we see something that pushes our buttons.
5. CONFLICTS COME WHEN WE CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY OMIT THINGS THAT ARE UNFAVORABLE TO US
We all have selective filters that screen out things that are not to our own advantage. We are conditioned to operate along the lines of our selective memory of personal interests. James writes, "If anyone knows the right thing to do it and fails to do it, to him it is sin." The sins of omission are far bigger causes of the deterioration of faith in America than any other sin.
6. CONFLICTS COME BECAUSE WE THINK IN ABSOLUTE TERMS
"He or she is impossible to work with." That person is a fighting fundamentalist and I cannot agree with him on anything." These absolute ways of thinking or injurious to fellowship. We often unnecessarily polarize people because we put people in compartments that are unfair and unreasonable. People are far more complex than we like to think. Allow for nuance in human relationships. Cooperation often involves lots of give and take through the use of diplomacy, listening and tactful interactions.
7. CONFLICTS COME BECAUSE OF MIS-INTERPRETATIONS
We often over-simplify things because we mis-interpret people, situations and what we see, hear or think. When we take things too personally we set ourselves up to be hurt, offended or irritated. This often happens when someone cuts us off in traffic and we wrongly ascribe evil motives to the other driver.
I.E. I remember that by mis-interpreting older missionaries’s motives it cut me off from a lot of great wisdom they had to offer. I did not realize that they wanted to offer insight but often gave it through a series of policies and directives that simplified decisions for all. This was meant well, but it came across as cold and uncaring to me.
8. CONFLICTS COME FROM HISTORICAL RESENTMENTS
I would became angry with some missionaries because of my past associations with angry people. I would interpret opposition as their anger and in term become angry at their supposed carnality. This was unfair and have had to ask God’s forgiveness for dragging up the past unfairly. I needed to learn from Paul when he wrote, "Forgetting the things which are behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead." (PHil. 3:14)
9. CONFLICTS COME BECAUSE OF OVER-GENERALIZATION
People over-generalize the problems in the church because they might have heard of a preacher on TV who scammed people out of donations. After one bad experience they apply the "guilt by association" lable and assume that all Christian leaders are crooked." This is unfair, unwise and very judgmental. This leads some people to expect that everyone must prove themselves before they are trusted. Then people become very bitter, angry and suspicious of every Christian leader.
10. CONFLICTS RESULT IN BLAME GAMES
People like to blame Christian leaders, the devil or anyone besides themselves for problems. Yet, Paul recognized that this strategy only leads to defeat, depression and isolation. Blame is not the method of resolution but confession, reconcilation and relating to one another in affirming love.
11. CONFLICTS LEAD TO PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO REACH OUT TO OTHERS
People think that it is safer to just be by myself as others won’t listen to me anyway. I’ve heard missionaries say, "He is unapproachable so why try to talk with him. This is a reluctance to obey Matt 18:15. Our hesistancy to approach another is really our own problem. Let us learn to be bigger than any problem and communicate the truth in love. To those who refuse to listen we will have learned that the onus of responsibility now lies elsewhere.
12. CONFLICT COMES WHEN WE WRONGLY ATTRIBUTE BAD MOTIVES TO OTHERS
It is wrong to be judgmental and sin exacts a heavy price. We think that the other person is acting out of pride, sin or selfishness when it is probably 50% - 50%. Maybe some people do act that way, but most do it out of lack of maturity or inexperience or lack of understanding or a basic desire to survive and make sense of their circumstances. Allow God to refine them and work in their life on His own timetable. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt and move on to what God has called you to do, think and focus on. That is God’s business. Do not reject the person but avoid the actions that are injurious.
Lists can be exhaustive but the important thing to remember is God can give us greater maturity, patience and wisdom while we navigate through these adversities. Let us try to minimize the things that cause severe conflicts and know that the Lord is able to work all things together for our benefit as long as we concentrate on loving Him and fitting into His plan for our life. (Rom 8:28,29)
This will put us way ahead and allow us to bring along many with a positive faith that overcomes the world, the flesh and the devil’s attempts to cause deterioration.
