Mom’s Day – 2008
May 11, 2008
”I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” 1 Timothy 1:3-5
Mother’s Day is always a special day for me. I have been privileged to have the best Mom in the world – her number two son hasn’t always been the best and I haven’t expressed my appreciation like I should – but I know some of what is best about me is because of my Mom. There are three qualities my mom has that I wished every mom could have. As I rub shoulders with people and work with people, it makes me appreciate these qualities. And really, every person ought to have these qualities that my little white haired Mum possesses.
First, she has the gift of joy. She likes to laugh. She can’t tell a great joke like I can, and she isn’t a silly, goofy kind of person like I can be sometimes – but when I was growing up and even when I go back home now – there is an ambience of joy in her home. And that’s important. Some of my friends grew up in fear. Some grew up in sternness. Some were just neglected. I grew up in a happy home. And that is important to a kid. Maybe King Solomon said it best when he wrote these words,
"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones."
[Proverbs 17:22]
Our emotions really do affect us – even physically. Perhaps the most famous example of this is the recovery of Norman Cousins from what was diagnosed as an incurable disease. He was bedridden and the doctors gave him no hope at all. So he decided if he was going to die – he was going to die happy. His family got a movie projector and rented all the Charlie Chaplin and Abbott and Costello movies that they could find - movies where you just sit back and laugh because they are genuinely funny. Personally, I think I would have chosen death before watching those kind of movies – but to each his own.
Norman ran one movie after another, and the more he watched the more he laughed. The more he laughed, the better he felt. First thing you know, the doctors couldn’t find any evidence of the incurable disease. Awhile back, Paul Harvey stated that for the last 10 years Norman Cousins has been on the staff of the UCLA School of Medicine & is pioneering a new medical discipline: "pyschoneuro-immunology."
The article states, "Carefully controlled experiments conducted by Cousins and his associates demonstrate that you - just by controlling your mind set - can alter your temperature, your blood pressure and your blood chemistry in a matter of minutes."
It goes on to say, "There is now evidence that cancer patients - liberated from depression - can actually activate the anti-cancer capability of the immune system. ’The human body,’ contends Cousins, ’is far more robust than people have been led to believe. A strong will to live, along with the other positive emotions - faith, love, purpose, determination, and humor - boosts disease-fighting immune cells.’"
So the proverb is true. If you’re joyful in your heart, then that’s good medicine. But if you’re not joyful - if your spirit is broken, then it dries up your bones. You become old and tired, and a person no one wants to be around.
Think about it. Who are the people you are attracted to? "Gloomy Gus" who walks around with a frown on his face? The person who sees all the bad things in the world, who is thoroughly convinced that everything is going to fall apart? Is that the kind of person with whom we love to spend our time? Do we like to spend our time with a cranky critical person who finds fault in everything everyone does? No way! We are attracted to the person who has a smile on his face, and joy in his heart.
Be careful what your kids watch on TV, too. Since my grandson, Nate, spends quite a bit of time with us, I check out what he watches on TV. There are some good cartoons on TV – but there are some really bad, negative, critical cartoons that are imparting an attitude of negativity to our children that is dangerous to them. It steals their joy. It makes them unhappy and bitter and rebellious. It’s a tough way for a child to grow up.
I am thankful that I grew up in a happy home. I hope you parents are making a happy home for your kids. And I hope each one of us work at being a joyful person. Our mates need it. Our friends need it. Our Children need it. God needs us to be joyful. We can’t be very effective at winning the lost if we aren’t.
Another thing I appreciate about my mom is the way she demonstrated her love through kindness and gentleness. The Bible says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” (Proverbs 15:1 NIV) My mom was, and is, a gentle woman. Don’t confuse that with softness. I remember a time or two when she took a broom handle to this big, smart mouthed, teenage boy. And growing up, we knew where the line was. If we crossed it – we had to deal with Dad when he came home – but Mom was quite capable of administering discipline herself, when need be. But when I think of those times – feelings of love, and maybe a little humor, come up. There’s no resentment. No anger. It makes me love her all the more. The Bible says:
Proverbs 22:15 NIV
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13 NIV
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Proverbs 29:15 NIV
The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
A lot of parents are afraid to do what the Bible says to do because the state things they know better – and I guess there are even laws that say we can’t spank our kids. A few abusive parents and misguided law makers have ruined a generation of kids. There is a time when corporal punishment is need.
But the bulk of the experience with my Mom’s discipline was gentleness. I remember a few times that stand out in my mind when Mom’s gentleness was just what I needed – but I wonder how many of those every day gentle acts I have forgotten and yet they still are a part of me. The times she would gently hold me or rock me or run her fingers through my hair or gently stroke my cheek – that said to her son – “I love you. You are important to me.” If you haven’t grown up with a mother like that – I feel badly for you. Everyone needs gentleness in their life. Why don’t you be that someone in your kid’s life or in your mates life – or in your friend’s life?
A third quality I appreciate in my mom – is her discipline. I mentioned an isolated incident earlier – but that wasn’t my mom’s discipline. Her discipline started with herself. It expressed itself through her daily time with God where she read the Bible and prayed for each of us kids. I can’t tell you what it did for my soul to hear my mom praying for me –mentioning my name to God. She never missed a service in church – I mean Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday night, and every revival service. She was and is a disciplined person. Discipline starts there. Discipline starts with you. But she also disciplined us kids, too. Mostly by talking to us – giving us chores and different task to do. Rewarding us with praise and love. But the point is – we learned to do the things we did WANT to do. We learned to do the things we even HATED to do. Consequently, every one of her 5 boys and 2 girls are responsible and hard workers. Every one of us never had a problem holding down a job.
If you want to do your kids a favor – make them responsible. Make them do things they don’t want to do. If you want to do yourself a favor – self discipline yourself. Maybe you didn’t have a mom or dad to make you do the dishes or rake the yard or take out the trash – and you grew up lazy and undisciplined. It’s not too late. Make yourself go to work when you don’t feel like it. Make yourself read your Bible and study even if you don’t feel like it. There is a large body of our society that thinks the world owes them a living. The bible says, “If you don’t work – you don’t eat!” (2 Thessalonians 2:10) A large portion of our society are users and takers – not givers. A lot of people are on SSI and some kind of disability when they shouldn’t have to be. Because they were never disciplined, they gave in to drinking or drugs and partying. And life is just existence for them. It isn’t real living. Do your kids a favor – teach them responsibility. Do yourself a favor – be responsible. If you say you will do something – do it! If you say you will be some place at such and such a time – be there! If you say you will pay something - pay it! Be responsible.
The last quality that I appreciate in my Mom, is how she trained us Spiritually. The Bible says,
“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 NIV
“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7
When someone asked Jesus what the greatest verse in the Bible was – He said it was this verse. We usually take the part of the Scripture that says we are to love God – but in the Hebrew language there was no punctuation. This whole section was the great command. In other words, part of the great command is not only to love God with all our heart, soul and strength – but to teach this to our children as well.
Mom did a good job of that. As I said, going to church was never an option. There was no choice involved. The choice was made long before - by Mom. We went to church if the church doors were open. But training your child starts with you and your heart. Mom loved Jesus and it was plain for all to see. And all seven of us kids ‘caught’ our faith – more than being ‘taught’ it by mom. Because our dad was not a Christian when we were growing up – all five of us boys started out our lives in rebellion and not as Christians. We got the idea that to be a man you lived this way. But because of our early training – every one of us came back to the Lord. We were trained in the “way we should go”.
My old brother and I are preachers. My oldest sister married a preacher. Each one of us deeply love the Lord and are serving Him in some way. My brother, Mark, came out of a life of drugs and is on fire for the Lord. My brother, Sam, picks up a car full of kids every Sunday and takes them to church. My sister, Steph, serves in her church. My youngest brother, Bill, came back to the Lord recently and is growing spiritually. We all agree it was because of our mother’s prayers that we came through the difficult times in life and are now serving Him.
Personally, I think it is child abuse to not train your children in the Lord. We have a command from God to do so – and we ought to make it a priority.
Well, these are the four qualities in my mom I wish every mother could have. She got them from the Lord. Here they are again:
1. The quality of joy.
2. The trait of gentleness.
3. The character of discipline.
4. The ability to pass on faith.
I pray that each of you mom’s feel honored and blessed today. May God help you to be the best mom you can be.
