Donald Grey Barnhouse was the pastor of the Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania from 1927 until his death in 1960. Early in his ministry he read Revelation 13:8 which described Jesus as the “Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world”. His observation about that passage, which I believe is very accurate, is that in God’s plan the spiritual existed before the material. In other words, God’ plan for Jesus to die for our sins existed way before that physically occurred. As a result, he concluded that everything that God created was formed by God in a way that it illustrated some spiritual truth that existed prior to the creation. Every star in the sky, every blade of grass, every rainbow, every bird – they all exist to reveal to us some spiritual truth. Let’s keep that principle in mind as we continue our journey through Ephesians by reading our passage for this morning:
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:21-33 (NIV)
I noticed that several of you were cheering this morning because you think I’m actually covering 13 verses with my message this morning and that means that we might eventually finish our study of Ephesians. Well, you’re at least partially correct. I am going to look at this whole passage this morning, but we’ll return to it for a couple more weeks before we wrap up chapter 5. Then, we’re going to take a four week break for a series of messages that will help us focus on our citizenship in heaven and what that means for us as believers. And then in mid-June, we’ll pick up again with Ephesians chapter 6 and finish our journey.
There is obviously so much rich material in this passage, but the way Paul writes in this section doesn’t really lend itself to going through it verse-by-verse. In fact, if we get into too much detail in this section, we certainly run the risk of missing the big picture. There are really three main messages that Paul has for us in these verses:
• There is a beautiful picture of the relationship between Jesus and his body, the church. That will be our focus this morning.
• Instruction for husbands about how to treat their wives.
• Instruction for wives about how to treat their husbands.
As we’ll see this morning, the concept of marriage is inextricably woven together with the relationship between Christ and his church. In fact, as you read through the passage you find that Paul alternates writing about the marriage between a man and woman and the relationship of Jesus with His body. In a sense, there is an almost cyclical nature to these two relationships. God created marriage as the physical picture of the spiritual reality of the relationship between Christ and his church. But then that relationship actually becomes the model for marriage. We could illustrate it something like this:
[Drawing showing the circular nature of the two relationships]
So the key here is obviously that which came first, the relationship between Jesus and His church, which existed in God’s plan long before the first marriage ever took place on earth. And without fully understanding that relationship, we run the very distinct danger of drawing some very wrong conclusions about Paul’s instructions to husband and wives. So let’s look at this love affair between Christ and His church:
THE LOVE AFFAIR BETWEEN CHRIST AND HIS CHURCH
I’m going to employ a technique this morning that Pastor Dana often refers to as “reverse engineering”. I’m going to start with the end of this passage and work our way back toward the beginning. We’ll start by examining what Paul describes here as a “mystery”.
1. The “mystery” is that God created marriage to be a picture of the relationship between Jesus and His bride, the church.
...This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church...
We’ve seen Paul use this term mystery earlier in his letter. And at that time, we determined that the way Paul uses that word is much different than the way we tend to use it. He is not writing here about an Agatha Christie book or and episode of CSI.
• Paul uses “mystery” to describe something that was revealed in the Old Testament, but which is only fully made known in Christ
The best way for us to understand what Paul means by the word “mystery” here in verse 32 is to go back and see how he has used that word previously in Ephesians:
And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment - to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
Ephesians 1:9, 10 (NIV)
In that passage, the “mystery” is God’s eternal plan to bring all things back together under the headship of Jesus Christ. That plan certainly existed, and was hinted at, in the Old Testament times, but it could not be fully known until the death and resurrection of Jesus.
Surely you have heard about the administration of God’s grace that was given to me for you, that is, the mystery made known to me by revelation, as I have already written briefly. In reading this, then, you will be able to understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to men in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to God’s holy apostles and prophets.
Ephesians 3:2-5 (NIV)
In that passage, Paul gives us a very clear definition of what he means by the word “mystery”. He lets his readers know that a “mystery” is something that was not made fully known in the past, but that God has now chosen to reveal more fully.
This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus. I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am less than the least of all God’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things.
Ephesians 3:6-9
Finally, Paul uses the word “mystery” to describe the process by which all the followers of Jesus Christ are brought together in one body. Again, that was hinted at in the Old Testament, but was only understood fully in Jesus.
• God revealed the relationship between Christ and His church in marriage.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
In verse 31, Paul quotes Genesis 2:24. Although there is much practical instruction to husbands and wives in verses 22-30, I am convinced that the primary purpose of that section is that it is Paul’s commentary on this verse from Genesis that he now uses as the basis for describing how marriage was created by God as a picture of the relationship between Jesus and the church. That is confirmed for us in verse 32 when Paul writes that in describing marriage he is “talking about Christ and the church.”
The main purpose of this whole passage that we’re looking at this morning is for Paul to explain how God has now revealed that marriage was instituted by God as a picture of the spiritual reality that already existed – the love affair between Jesus and His body, the church.
So what can we learn from marriage that will help us to understand this relationship and the church?
2. Jesus and the church reveal this mystery by becoming one
...for we are members of his body...
God’s intent is that Jesus and the church are to be one in the very same way that a husband and wife are to be one in the covenant of marriage. We can certainly make the case that this is really the centerpiece or main theme of the entire letter. In fact, this is such an important principle that Paul uses the word “we” here in verse 30. If you’ve been playing close attention to Paul’s writing, you’ve noticed that he primarily writes to “you” as he addresses his readers. There are very few references to “we” and “us”. The last time he did that was all the way back in chapter 5, verse 2 where he proclaimed that “Christ loved us”. Paul is reinforcing the idea that he is just like all the rest of his readers when it comes to being one with Christ in His body.
I really like the way that Pastor Dana has coined this principle:
Church is not an option. Paul could certainly not conceive that there could possibly be a follower of Jesus Christ who would not highly value active participation in the body life. Church was never intended to be just an appendage to our life as believers, but rather and integral and inseparable aspect of that life.
• The key to becoming one is mutual submission
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ...
As we saw last week, this verse is a “hinge” or “pivot” that serves as a transition from the command to be filled, or controlled, by the Holy Spirit in verse 18 to the section that begins in verse 22 and runs all the way through chapter 6, verse 9. In that section, Paul writes about our relationships with others in our family and in the workplace. It is both a result of being controlled by the Holy Spirit and the key to our relationships with others. It is also the key to this love relationship between Jesus and his church.
• Let’s understand the word “submit”
Paul could have chosen to use many different words to describe the relationships among those in the body. Had he intended to describe a relationship with an authoritative leader in which people were to obey that leader, he could have used the word he uses in chapter 6 to describe how children are to obey parents and how slaves were to relate to their masters. But, instead he chose to use this word translated “submit”, or “be subject to” which is often misused by those who don’t understand its meaning.
Comes from a military term which means to take a position in a phalanx of soldiers
A phalanx is a military formation developed by the Greeks in which the infantry members would march in close proximity in a rectangular formation. In such a formation, although one person gave orders, the strength of the phalanx was that all the soldiers shared equally in the task. The word carries more the idea of proper order than it does the idea of a superior and his or her subjects.
Does not denote inequality
All the soldiers in the phalanx were equally important. None were considered to be inferior to others. This is a very important principle as we begin to apply this concept of mutual submission. Submission never implies a relationship in which one is superior to another.
Voluntary action
Paul uses what is known as the “middle voice” here. The significance of that form of the verb is that it indicates that submission is a voluntary act. Submission is never forced, but is a voluntary act that we choose to do out of reverence for Christ.
The relationship between Jesus and His body, the church, as well as all the other relationship Paul is writing about in this section rest on this principle of mutual submission.
Let’s look at both sides of this love affair between Jesus and the church – how Jesus loves the body and how the body loves Jesus.
• How Jesus loves the body:
o By being the head
...as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior...
None of us would argue with the idea that Jesus is the head of His body. But it’s really crucial that we understand what Paul means by the “head”. Once again, Paul had several different words he could have chosen to use here. Had he intended to indicate a relationship between a ruler and his subjects, he could have used another Greek word which is used frequently in the Greek Old Testament to describe that kind of relationship. By using the word “head”, however, Paul is providing us with insight into the nature of this relationship.
The head is not an authoritarian ruler
Jesus does not rule over His church as a harsh taskmaster. In fact, as we’ll see in a moment, He carries out His headship by making his body holy and pure and by caring for its needs in the same way that we care for our own bodies.
The head is foremost in position
Although Jesus is not an authoritarian ruler who forces His body to follow Him, there is not doubt that he holds a preeminent position within the body. This is similar to the way that the head functions in our physical bodies. Although the head can’t function apart from the rest of the body, there is a sense in which it has the foremost position.
In his letter to the Colossians, Paul described this aspect of headship:
And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.
Colossians 1:18 (NIV)
Jesus created the church when he rose from the grave and became the firstborn from among the dead. Therefore, as the author and creator of the church, he obviously has supremacy. But that supremacy has more to do with His role in the body as opposed to Him being a harsh taskmaster who rules by force and intimidation. I think we can understand this idea of headship even better if we see how this applies to the relationship between Jesus and God the Father:
Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:3 (NIV)
Even though God is the head of Christ, God is certainly not superior to His Son, but the Scriptures do make it clear that they do have different roles and there is a sense in which the Father is foremost in position. That’s an important principle that helps us to understand the next aspect of the love relationship between Christ and His body. Jesus demonstrates his love for His body by being the head, but he also demonstrates his love...
o By submitting to His head
Look how Paul describes how Christ loves His church in verses 25-27:
...just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless...
How did Jesus demonstrate His love for the church? By giving Himself up for her. That is a concept that we’ve already seen at the beginning of this chapter:
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Ephesians 5:1, 2 (NIV)
Even though Jesus is the head of his body, he demonstrated His love for the body by voluntarily submitting Himself to His Head, God the Father. Jesus laid down His life, not because he was forced to, but out of reverence for His Heavenly Father and because of his desire to carry out His Father’s will.
And it is that example of submission that ought to be foremost in our minds as we think about how we are to submit to Jesus and to each other.
Without a doubt, this is the greatest love story ever told. Jesus’ love for His body, the church, is completely unsurpassed. But there is also another side to this love affair.
• How the body loves Jesus:
o By submitting to the head
...Now as the church submits to Christ...
We’ve spent a lot of time this morning focusing on how Jesus loves His body, the church. But every good love affair is a reciprocal relationship.
I can still remember the first time that I worked up the courage to tell Mary that I loved her. We had been out on a date and I’d been thinking about it all night and was pretty nervous about it. I finally summoned up the courage to say “Mary, I love you” at the end of the evening. And her response? Nothing. Not a word. I had to wait all the way until our next date before she told me that she loved me, too. That was a long week for me because I didn’t know if it was over for us or whether I had just caught her by surprise and left her speechless.
When we see how much Jesus loves us, His body, that self-giving love on His part requires a response from us. And the way that we need to respond to the love of Jesus is by voluntarily submitting to Him as the Head following His example of submitting to His head, God the Father.
Although there are certainly consequences that we suffer for failing to submit to Jesus, he will never force us to submit to Him. If He did, it really wouldn’t be submission, would it?
A 1999 Time magazine article on the 5 greatest romances of the 20th century, contained this quote:
Ernest Hemingway said all great love affairs end in tragedy: either disillusion sets in and people "settle" or separate, or one member of the affair dies, leaving the other alone. By that reckoning, all romances are equal, the more famous ones no better, no worse, no more desperate or idealistic than thousands of others.
I guess that’s been true of every great love affair in history and in literature – Anthony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, Charles and Diana, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Some of those just lasted a little longer than the others. But the love affair between Jesus Christ, and His body, the church, will last for eternity. But the best news is that we don’t have to wait for that. We can begin to enjoy that relationship right here and now as we submit to Jesus.
