Review – children of God, bride of Christ: Loved, desired, God takes pleasure in us.
Valentines day is a few days away. So it is appropriate we cover this subject this week.
Marriage, how did it begin?
Whose idea was it? I have a rather interesting idea for you...marriage, as one man and one woman in a lifelong faithful relationship, was not first a human thought or tradition.
Jesus, quoting one of the oldest of all writings, from the book of Genesis, says marriage was God’s idea. Matt. 19:4-6 "Haven’t you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,’ 5 and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
It was simpler in the very beginning, back in the Garden of Eden. I can imagine EVE asking Adam, "Do you still love me ADAM?" ADAM responded; "Who else?"
The idea of marriage was not first the relationship between a man and a woman, but first between God and His people.
In other words, human marriage is created in the image of God’s love for us and not the other way around. I believe that the Apostle Paul understood this when he wrote the passage in Ephesians that we like to quote in wedding ceremonies.
Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. “for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
I believe God gave us marriage not just to make us complete, to give us a helpmate, or even a soul-mate, but so that we might learn to see His own love through the covenant of marriage.
I believe that marriage is a living parable for us so that we might better understand the love that God has for us.
Look at the parallels that Paul uses in this passage: (highlight in powerpoint)
“head of the wife, Christ is the head of the church”
“be subject to your husband as the church is subject to Christ.”
“love your wives JUST AS Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”
“Christ also (loves the church) because we are members of His body.
“and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”
As a pastor, I am constantly exhorting prospective husbands and wives to model their marriage on the image of Christ and His church, loving one another the way that Christ loved the church, laying down His life for her.
But you know what? I think I’ve had it wrong. Not the theology, but the exhortation.
Often I am asking people to copy or imitate something that they have a limited understanding of.
Before we can imitate something, we need to have the image of what we are imitating burnt deeply into our consciousness.
You and I need to get a grasp of this image of Christ as the heavenly bridegroom and you and I as the bride.
God desires you to be his forever companion in eternity.
This picture became really clear to me this week when I was studying and came across a description of the betrothal process in 1st Century Jewish culture. The groom would propose and a legally binding contract would be made over a glass of wine that both the bride to be and the groom would drink. Then the groom would go back to his parents house and add a room on. This is because the Jews of that day, lived in extended family structures, with homes literally having annexes added on with each successive generation. Once the groom had finished the room for his bride, he would come back for her to complete the marriage arrangements.
It made the statement that Jesus said in John 14:2-3 make sense to me at last: "In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. 3 "If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.”
This is the image that Jesus left with his disciples just before he was to be crucified. It is an awesome picture of you and I as the bride, awaiting our groom Jesus to return for us.
Purity –
Eph 5:26: “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless.”
This passage tells us of His purpose in laying down His life for the church and His ultimate purpose for the church bride.
That she (that’s you and me) would be so cleansed that we would be perfectly acceptable on that glorious day when Christ comes for His bride.
Marriage is the most intimate of human relationships. This imagery of marriage is used to describe Christ’s relationship with the Church because He wants us to recognize how deeply He loves us, and how intimately He wants to relate to us.
Jesus Christ is head over heels in love with you.
When Jesus says that our love is “to die for,” He meant it literally.
It was love that led Jesus to spread His hands out to allow nails to be driven through His wrists and feet.
As the crown of thorns was wedged onto His head and as each breath became shallower as he hung on the cross, the Son of God could have ended the drama of His crucifixion any time He wanted.
But if He had, the wedding would have been off.
And the peasant bride wouldn’t be worthy to wear the white garment of righteousness on her own.
Isaiah 64:6 says that “all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.”
If it all depended on us, there would be no wedding.
But Jesus couldn’t bear to spend eternity without us.
He longs to live out eternity with His betrothed.
He uses several words in Ephesians 5:26 that illustrate what He means:
“in all her glory (glorious adornment of clothing).” (endoxon) (glorious - used of splendidly fine clothing in Luke 7:25).
Ladies, I imagine during your wedding you wore a wedding dress, probably a pretty nice one? I have here across the altar, the beautiful one that Jennifer wore on her wedding day.
Statistic: The average cost of a wedding gown is approximately $1,000 - $1800. A designer gown can cost you thousands of dollars. The average headpiece can cost you anywhere from $150 - $300. Average cost of shoes: $60.
Princess Diana walked down the aisle of Saint Paul’s Cathedral with 10,000 pearls adorning her gown..
Let me ask you why would anyone spend such a large sum of money for a single dress to be worn on a single day, for not much more than a single hour, never to be worn or tried on again?
I doubt any two people would give me the same answer, but I have a feeling I know the answer. The wedding day belongs to the bride. It is her special day, her special occasion, when the desire of her heart is fulfilled.
She desires to look her very best for this singular occasion, the union with her engaged. Price, in some cases, doesn’t even matter.
Remember last week when we heard about Johnny Lingo and what he said about his bride? “it is what the bride thinks about herself (and her value) that matters most.”
The bible tells us that on the day when Christ comes for His bride, the church, she will be adorned with beauty, wearing splendid clothing that will be white and pure. Why? Because she has made herself ready for her beloved.
The interesting thing about this passage is that the bride doesn’t make herself perfect, the groom perfects her.
Imagine how beautiful will be the gown of the Bride of Christ, which by His grace, He will use the very righteous deeds and good works which He created us to perform (Ephesians 2:10) as the material for the fine linen of her raiment.
Our passage says that she may be “without spot (spilov) or wrinkle (rutida), holy and blameless”
Without spot or stain (or blemish). That implies without sin. None of us can claim sinless ness but Christ alone. He alone cleanses us from sin and he alone makes us pure without spot or stain.
Wrinkle (rutida). holy and without blemish. If you wonder why women wear makeup this is it.
In our earthly bodies, we have blemishes, scars, spots on our skin, our faces and wrinkles too! Women cover them up, try to shrink the wrinkles with botox and try to appear spotless!
Fortunately, when Christ comes for His church, He isn’t going to have to put make up on us. Our wrinkles, spots and stains will all be gone. We will be made perfect.
1 John 3:2 “But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”
The idea isn’t that the bride is in this state before the "wedding day," but on the wedding day. The church will be in a state of glory.
(Lloyd-Jones) "When He presents her to Himself, all the principalities and powers and the ranks for all the powers of heaven will look on at this marvelous thing, and examine her, there will not be a single blemish, there will not be a spot upon her. The most careful examination will not be able to detect the slightest speck of unworthiness or of sin."
You and I will be without spot or wrinkle, we will be beautiful beyond comprehension.
Can you imagine the scene? This wedding is the purpose, the highlight, of all Creation.
There stands King Jesus, His heart full of joy. And here comes His bride - the redeemed of mankind - dressed in pure white, wearing the righteousness of Christ!
The King of Creation, Jesus, the Lamb of God, is looking for His bride to rule and reign with Him.
Some were amazed at the wedding ceremony of Prince Charles and Diana. It was royalty in all of its splendor. The wedding ceremony in heaven will be infinitely grander!
One thing I’ve noticed about couples who are engaged to be married.
They become obsessed with preparation.
They want to make sure that everything is right, the dresses, the hair, the makeup, it all needs to be just right.
Why? Is it so that their fiancée will want to marry them? No. Just the opposite. They want to look their best because their fiancée is marrying them. Because they are head over heels in love with their groom!
The same is true for us. If we are in love with Jesus, We want to look and be our best for Christ. We want our hearts to be pure and our thoughts to be clean. We want our lives to be marked by grace and love. We want to be prepared for His coming.
It’s not so that He will love us. He already has proven His love for us on the cross.
We want to be that pure spotless bride because He loves us.
Intimacy Here is a description of intimacy: “the two shall become one flesh”
We understand this to mean man and wife, and the intimacy that they have with one another in sexual union. But I believe it is far more. Beyond the physical intimacy described as “one flesh” I believe it is speaking about intimacy in general, and beyond that, it is alluding to intimacy and union with God.
I have performed many weddings in my ministry. And there was never a groom who didn’t smile with delight at his bride, thinking, "She’s all mine!" This is the beauty I’m talking about. Our Bridegroom rejoices, saying of His bride, "I’m the apple of her eye. She’d rather spend time with Me than with anyone else. And that makes her beautiful to Me!" Is that true about you?
When you recited your wedding vows to your bride or groom to be, it is likely that you said something like this… “all I have I give to you, forsaking all others to be yours alone until death do we part.”
You gave all the rights to yourself to your spouse at that moment. Hopefully, you have never taken them back. Hopefully you meant it then and still mean it now.
There was another set of wedding vows you made when you came to Christ as His disciple and as His bride.
Jesus said, ".So then, any of you who does not forsake (renounce, surrender claim to, give up, say good-bye to) all that he has cannot be My disciple. " (Luke 14:33 amp.).
Jesus gave all He had to you, and when you committed to be His follower, you did the same, just like a bride and groom give themselves fully to one another at the altar.
When you made this commitment, did you mean it then?
Do you still mean it now?
Or have some old loves come back into your life, stolen your affections from your Savior, taken your attention from your Lord?
It’s not enough for Jesus to win your heart. He has to be the satisfaction of your heart!
Yet, there are many of us who are not satisfied with Jesus.
We look for something to fulfill us…I think we can call them “other lovers.’
Even though they may not be people we sleep with, we give our hearts to substitutes, imposters of God.
We look for something that will help us FEEL special.
We look for something to give us that thrill.
Or to entertain us, humor us, engage us, satisfy us, even if it is just for a few moments, and then we move on to another.
Look at how hard it is to be alone in your home, with God.
In one room , you have the tv. In another room, you have the computer. In another room you have food. Geez, I can go from room to room and back again and never stop! Just feeding the flesh, the mind and the body, and neglect my soul.
The things of God are not the same as God Himself.
Many of us will do bible study or read and think we have spent time with God. Or working in a ministry and we have had time with God. Maybe we have, but not the kind of time that God wants from us.
Yes, work has to be done, but like we talked about last week, we can be laborers or lovers. And we must always be lovers first.
Imagine going to your best friends home, walking in, sitting down next to her, and then reading a book about her, then getting up and going home. Besides greeting her, was there any intimacy about that visit? God desires you and I to spend time with Him, alone, quiet, still time. He desires to be with his bride.
Why do we choose to go through the motions instead of spend intimacy with the Lover of our souls?
God isn’t some distant being responsible for our ticket to heaven. He is a real person with real feelings, and real desires.
Maybe we are caught in the performance trap, trying to make ourselves feel good by what we do.
But while the world applauds achievement, God desires companionship.
The world tells us that we need to “do more” but God whispers, “Be still and know I am God.”
God isn’t looking for laborers, slaves, soldiers or servants. He is looking for a bride whom He can love and who will love Him back.
Intimate moments
The bedroom for a couple is the place of intimacy for them. I dare say that the closet is the place of intimacy for the Christian. (Matthew 6:6 “"But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”)
Private intimate moments are essential for growing deeper and closer together for a couple. Imagine if the only time a couple spent together was in public? They would not have a very intimate relationship. For many of us, our most intimate moments with God are public worship on Sunday mornings! There is nothing wrong with Sunday worship being intimate and intense, but it is not a substitute for personal private intimacy with God. Those private rewards of intimacy are worth every moment!
The place – wherever it is, it must be distraction free. If it has a tv, computer, or food, you probably should find a different room. Imagine Jesus waiting in that room for your arrival. He gets as much out of your time together as you do.
The time – whether morning or night or mid day, be consistent so it becomes habitual (but not routine). Carve out as much time as possible, without limits so you can spend intimate time with the Lover of your soul.
Write prayer love letters to God. A journal is a great tool of intimacy.
Remember the conversation is two way! God desires to speak to you!
So, let me ask you: Do you think of yourself as chosen by the Lord? As the blood-covered, redeemed apple of His eye? Have you forsaken all the world, all your past, for Him? Can you say, "He is mine, and I am committed to Him. Lord, I love You with all my heart!"
My point is this: If you want to be in the bride of Christ, you must be concerned with more than simply escaping a godless hell.
Rather, you must desire more than anything to be there on that great wedding day clothed in His righteous garments! Your desire must be more than anything to be in His embrace for eternity! VIDEO CLIP
Many people renew their wedding vows on Valentine’s day. It is not the wedding vows to one another that I want you to renew today, but your pledge to Christ your bridegroom, the lover of your soul:
Beloved bride of Christ, please stand...
"Dear Jesus, I want to be beautiful in Your sight! Forgive me for spending so much time on everything else but You. And give me a new heart to know You. I want to grow in intimacy with You! I have taken you to be my Lord and Savior. I now renew my promise to You: to worship and adore, to serve and obey, to love and to cherish, and to You I promise my first love, now and to eternity. All I was and am and ever will be, I give to you. I forsake all other loves of this world to love you and you alone. In Jesus Name, Amen.
