1. As we learned in our last study, SUBMISSION is not a popular word in our society but THEN NEITHER is ‘MARRIAGE’
a. With the perversity of men joining with men, and women with women, we need to hear God’s voice in these last days.
b. A article by the Associated Press found:
WASHINGTON (AP) -- New surveys on marriage and religion find that regular church attendance strengthens marriage and makes divorce more unlikely.
AND So we need to be sensitive to God’s design, God’s desire, God’s direction for something He Himself created:
• Marriage, the uniting of One MAN & One WOMAN.
• Peter begins with wives this week: 6 verses & for the husband, 1!
NOTE: Submission… it sounds like God’s asking me to be a doormat, to let my husband run all over me. That’s not it at all.
APP: Here’s a battle that is fought every day by us as Christians.
• Some of you recognize it, others don’t.
• Really it’s 3-fold: There’s a battle going on for who you will believe, who you will listen to, and who you will obey.
• And since you’re here today, in fellowship with Jesus and other believers, I know you want to believe, listen to, and obey God.
NOTE: When we hear of SUBMISSION there are a lot of voices that want to jump in and explain it to us.
• And what God’s Word says won’t be on the cover of PEOPLE magazine, or the featured story on some TV talk show.
• Hey, Martha Stewart, won’t even be talking about God’s Word.
• But together, we get to sit at Jesus’ feet… listening.
ALSO REMEMBER I’m a pastor, your pastor… and ladies I love you guys in Jesus and want what’s best for your home.
• As I survey the ministry and many couples that come through for counseling, a big problem in marriages is that ladies, you refuse to submit to your husbands!
• When Peter says in 1 Peter 3:1, it’s casually dismissed away.
• But that dismissal is exactly how a home can become upside down in the eyes of God.
REMEMBER ONE More THING about this letter…
• The theme of Peter is SUFFERING. You’ll find that word scattered throughout the letter some 16 times.
• He’s writing to those who are suffering because of faith in Jesus.
• And the topic of marriage comes up which means there was suffering going on with in the marriages there too.
• Interesting thought isn’t? Because some of you are suffering in your marriage today… struggling in it, just getting by.
MARRIAGE can be at times the closest thing to heaven in joy and fulfillment and radical satisfaction.
• AND marriage can sometimes be the closest thing well not to heaven!
• That’s because as difficulties come our way in marriage, we can either stand together or stand at each other’s throat…
• ESPECIALLY with trials & sufferings… So Peter says again…
I. (3:1-2,6) SUBMISSIVE OUTWARDLY
1. (1) Submit to your OWN husbands.
a. Therefore submit… the word here means ‘to fall in line’
b. IT also carries the idea of ‘servanthood, willingly responding, willingly yielding’
c. The wife is to yield & willingly respond to her OWN HUSBAND as to the Lord.
NOTICE be submissive to your ‘OWN’ husbands. Not every single man that ever enters into your life.
• It doesn’t mean you’re a doormat or don’t have a valid opinion or don’t have a say in things…
• The idea of submission is not slavery…
• But rather it’s the kind of submission that Jesus had as He allowed the will of the Father to work out in His life!
WAIT A MINUTE PASTOR ED, my husband is NOT SAVED!
• “You mean you want me to submit to my husband, even if he doesn’t love God, & might be leading me in the wrong direction for the home, for our finances, for… YES.”
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WHY? Well Peter says in v1, so that they, WITHOUT A WORD, may be won by the conduct of their wives.
• That your chaste conduct & fear of the Lord is seen.
• Jump down to v5 as Sarah is used as an example.
• Lord? I like that verse. No, No, it’s more of a term of respect.
• The respect came when she obeyed him, even when seemed foolish to do so.
• Genesis 12 a famine hits the land and Abram decides to go Egypt for help… that was mistake #1. Sarah followed.
• Then in Egypt, Abram tells Pharaoh she’s his sister (half truth, full lie) and she’s taken into Pharaoh’s harem! Mistake #2
• Is that what I get if I submit? Forget it.
• But you’ll notice, even through Abram was making BIG TIME, HURTFUL MISTAKES, God protected Sarah!
• God was Her sufficiency. God was Her strength!
WELL in Abram’s life he makes more than just a few mistakes!
• In Genesis 20 he does the same thing with Abimelech the king.
YOU KNOW WOMEN, sometimes your husband might not learn his lesson the first time. Do you just leave him?
• SURE All the ladies at work say ‘leave the bum’!
• Really, looking at the lives of those ladies at work, do you really want to take their counsel!? They don’t live with you!
• Maybe they don’t even have a love for Jesus!
AND AGAIN with the horrible mistake that Abram commits, God in His mercy protects & delivers her again!
• She again did what her husband said to do, followed him, even as it got her in trouble, stuck it out with him.
• And she came out experiencing the awesome power of God.
• Don’t bail out, trust in the Lord!
• Sarah trusted God. And you can trust Him too!
• I doubt that your husband’s mistakes will lead you into a Harem – Praise God.
• But if there is a mistake or two, trust the Lord to get you thru!
YES it’s hard to live with a man of faith, and yet it’s really harder still to live with a man who has no faith.
Psalm 37.3-4 Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. 4 Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
II. (2:3-5) ATTRACTIVELY INWARDLY
1. (3-4) Oh yes, submit at work too.
a. Inward beauty is so much more valuable than outward.
1 Timothy 4.8 (NKJV) For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.
1 Timothy 4.8 (NLT) Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.
NOTE: There is so much emphasis today on how a woman looks outwardly. But God’s more interested in the heart.
NOW I know some churches have taken these verses and concluded that a good Christian woman can’t wear makeup or jewelry.
• But that’s not God’s heart here. God’s zeroing in on the heart!
• He’s not setting up a dress code or enlisting a makeup patrol.
• He says notice, don’t let your adornment be ‘MERELY’ outward.
• And if you were to follow that logic down to v5 then women aren’t supposed to be dressed either. That’s not God’s heart!
1 Peter 3:3-4 (MSG) What matters is not your outer appearance— the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes— 4 but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.
APP: It’s good to pause here and warn you of legalism.
• Legalism is when someone, (could even be us), develops some list of do’s & don’ts in order to be right with God!
• If I read enough OR pray enough OR give enough OR dress this way OR look this way… Then God will be pleased with me.
Erwin Lutzer: Legalism is self-righteousness. It is the belief that God is satisfied with our attempt to obey a moral code. Legalists keep the law for self-glory, or to merit some reward; they do not keep it because it expresses the desire of their heart.
• Nothing will keep a Christian MORE IMMATURE than trying to keep a list to be right with God!
MAX LUCADO WROTE: LEGALISM HAS NO PITY on people. Legalism makes my opinion your burden, makes my opinion your boundary, makes my opinion your obligation.
NOTE: Legalism deals with the motives of the heart.
• Am I obeying in order to be righteous? OR
• Am I obeying as a result of Christ’s Righteousness living in me?
THE WORD ‘ADORNMENT’ is the Greek word ‘KOSMOS’.
• It’s literally means, “ORDER IN THE WORLD”
• So we can translate v3 as, ‘Don’t just be ordered outwardly in how you look, but make sure your life is ordered inwardly!’
LOOK AT v4… hidden person of the heart, incorruptible beauty of a gentle & quiet spirit.
• Oh the beauty of Jesus in creating these things in a woman.
• Again, don’t’ push this to an illogical extreme whereby through your quietness & gentleness you’re abused or hurt.
• I realize some of you have been abused by men in your life and you’re determined to never let it happen again.
• But please don’t let it harden heart to God’s best for you!
WIVES, the best way to get your husband to go in a direction that you want him to go is to ENCOURAGE HIM.
• Criticism won’t do it. Guys are devastated by criticism!
• It tears them down and builds walls between you.
• Inside they walk around torn up & feeling beat up.
• When you look at the greatest need of a man in marriage, biblically you’ll find it is PRAISE.
• Just as Jesus is looking for PRAISE from His bride!
• Praise in marriage so often comes through ENCOURAGEMENT!
HUSBANDS, when you look at your wives’ greatest need biblically it’s SECURITY.
• Even as we the church, the bride blossom as believers as we rest in the ASSURANCE of our relationship with Him.
• When we’re reminded that we’re KEPT by the power of God!
SO WIVES that gentle, that quiet spirit, that incorruptible beauty is lived out through the power of praise, and the energy of encouragement!
• When you start encouraging your husband, you can get him to do all sorts of things! Like mow the lawn. Here are your options.
#1 – MAN, you lazy, no good for nothing husband!
Put down the XBOX, turn off the football game and get out there and mow that lawn! Right now. OR
#2 – HONEY, when you’re out there mowing the lawn, man your arms look so strong! I just love to see you out there! Ha ha.
Guys need that constant flow of encouragement from their wives.
• We really do need to know that you’re on our side.
• WELL, what I don’t have anything nice to say about them?
• Can’t go there. Walk in agape love and realize Love hopes all things & thinks no evil!
SO WIVES… SUBMISSIVE OUTWARDLY, ATTRACTIVE INWARDLY.
Next week, you husbands get your turn… with one verse!
