Did You Hear About . . .
Griffith Baptist Church – 4/13/08
A.M. Service
Text: Matthew 15:10-20
Key verse: Matthew 15:18 - But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
The Introduction
Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher.
When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, "AMEN, BROTHER!"When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, "PREACH IT, REVEREND!"
And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, "RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS... AMEN!"
But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, "He’s quit preaching and now he’s meddlin’."
Gossip is among the vilest of sins - Romans 1:29-30 – 29Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, (see also Prov. 6:12-14; 8:13)
Gossip destroys relationships – Proverbs 16:28 – A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.
Gossip and strife go hand in hand – Proverbs 26:20 – Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.
Other words in Scripture used for a gossip – whisperer, backbiter, smiter, slanderer, perverted mouth, false lips, naughty tongue, talebearing, flattering mouth, busybodies, and tattlers.
Transition Statement: In order for us to have an understanding of the biblical concept of gossip, we need to look closely at the character of gossip
Body
1. The Character of Gossip
A. The Appeal of Gossip
i. It is broad in the type of people it involves
a. 2 Thessalonians 3:11 – For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.
b. Whoever will listen
c. Whoever will agree
ii. It appeals to our baser sinful nature
a. It is the act of a person living in the flesh
b. It is the attitude of a person filled with pride - To speak ill of others is only a round about way of bragging about yourself.
iii. It allows us to ignore our own sin issues
a. Our life is better when somebody else’s isn’t
b. It reveals something about us - Many years ago the Moody Church News carried a humorous story about a woman in a small town who was know for being a gossip. One day on vacation she visited the offices of The Chicago Daily News. She was wearing a white dress and inadvertently leaned against a wall where a freshly printed copy of the front page was hanging. It was a hot, humid day, and some of the print came off on the back of her white dress.
Later, as she walked down the street to meet her husband, she noticed that people walking behind her were snickering. When she reached the place where her husband was waiting, she asked him if there was anything on her back that shouldn’t be there. As she turned around, he read the large black reversed letters: sweN ylaiD. Realizing the appropriateness of the words, he said, “No, dear, nothing’s on your back that doesn’t belong there.” Our Daily Bread, June 23, 1994
c. It is a cover-up of a heart problem
B. The Subtlety of Gossip
i. Disguised as a spiritual concern - 1 Timothy 5:13 – And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
a. Faking spirituality by acting concerned
b. Sharing those “prayer requests” - Proverbs 11:13 – A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
c. We love to have everyone notice how “caring” we are.
ii. Getting a problem off your chest
a. Denotes an unclean heart (text)
b. Frustration can lead to sharing things with the wrong people
c. Instead of taking it to God we find solace in talking about others to others
iii. Gossip is like a poison snake in the grass; before you have a chance to see it for what it is, it will reach up and strike you.
C. The Nature of Gossip
i. It is aggressive
a. It can’t wait to tell somebody
b. It spreads quickly and destroys along the way all that it touches
ii. It is secretive – under cover of dark; covert
a. It is like the Piranha. They prefer darkness and the darker it is, the better. In fact, if you place Piranha in a fish aquarium in odd numbers, they will attack and eat the odd one
b. So it is with gossips
c. Beware of conversations in corners and whispers
d. Be careful what the topics are at restaurants, homes, or anywhere else
iii. To pass judgment
a. Gossip is sharing private information with those who are not part of the problem or part of the solution.
b. Most of the time there is very little truth attached to gossip
c. It formulates an opinion in the mind of the gossip and is communicated to others as truth.
iv. To get even
a. Gossip always seems to travel fastest over grapevines that are slightly sour.
b. It is done mostly to people we don’t like or we disagree with.
c. It is done sometimes to people that we feel have wronged or offended us first
d. We will make them and their reputation suffer like we have.
e. That doesn’t make it right in God’s eyes - Proverbs 18:8 – The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
v. To gain allies
a. The more that join the war effort the quicker you win
b. The gossip gravitates to people that is felt will share the same opinion or be open to that conversation.
c. There is no concern for the damage it will do, only that it feels good to have others agree.
d. The gossip tells himself or herself that if enough people agree, than it must be true and I was right for sharing the info. THINK AGAIN.
vi. Delight in seeing another hurt
a. Remember, running people down is bad business, whether you are a motorist or a gossip.
b. The ultimate act of the talebearer is not caring if it is wrong or not.
c. Proverbs 18:8 – The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
d. The slanderer will tear apart someone else and actually take pleasure in it - Psalms 35:15 – But at my stumbling they rejoiced and gathered themselves together; the smiters whom I did not know gathered together against me, they slandered me without ceasing.
e. It will often come back to hurt you - Harriet, the church gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.
Several residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked all afternoon in front of the town’s only bar. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know that he was an alcoholic. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and then just walked away. He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Harriet’s house and left it there all night...
Transition Statement: Now that we have seen the ugliness of gossip, let’s take a look at the three-fold cure for gossip.
2. The Cure for Gossip
A. Realize you are in control of your thought life - Ephesians 4:22-24 - 22That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; 23And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
i. You are responsible for what you think
a. You are responsible for what you say - If you can’t say it to somebody, you shouldn’t say it about somebody.
ii. You are responsible for what you hear
iii. Practice clean thinking – Philippians 4:8-9 - 8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
B. Confess and forsake sinful thoughts about others – 1 John 1:9 - 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
i. Catch it before it spreads to others
ii. Ask God to give you a new mind and heart when it comes to others
C. Ask God for help when the temptation comes
i. Determine not to be a source of gossip
ii. Have the courage to refuse to hear gossip from others – If people are always telling you garbage about other people, what does that say they think about you? If you are a convenient garbage dump, that’s not a high complement.
iii. Proverbs 17:4 – A wicked doer giveth heed to false lips; and a liar giveth ear to a naughty tongue. Proverbs 20:19 – 19He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
iv. Here is a good rule to live by: Five things to ask yourself:
a. Is it true?
b. Is it needful?
c. Is it kind?
d. Is it helpful?
e. Is it inspiring?
Concluding Statement: My name is Gossip. I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobodies friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments, wreck marriages, and ruin careers -- cause sleepless nights, heartaches, and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses… I make headlines and headaches. Before you repeat a story, ask yourself, Is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary? If not – shut up!
Laura Schlessinger, The Ten Commandments: The Significance of God’s Laws in Everyday Life, p. 203
Conclusion:
How do you talk about others when they aren’t around?
How do you respond when others gossip to you?
