INTRO: In a 2001 Times Magazine cover article entitled, "Power Struggle—Who’s in Charge", a vivid example of a somewhat epidemic was given. It reads: Here is a parenting parable for our age. Carla Wagner, 17, of Coral Gables, Florida, spent the afternoon drinking the tequila she charged on her American Express Gold Card before speeding off in her high-performance Audi A4. She was dialing her cell phone when she ran over Helen Marie Witty, a 16-year-old honor student who was out rollerblading. Charged with drunken driving and manslaughter, Carla was given a trial date—at which point her parents asked the judge whether it would be OK if Carla went ahead and spent the summer in Paris as she usually does.
Today I’m going to conclude my series on Relationship Busters. We are going to look at the foundation of what this house stands on and it’s self.
But let me quickly review what we’ve looked at this far.
1St pillar was gossiping. We looked at what gossiping will do. : It will separate close friends.
: It will ignite fights and quarrels.
: It will bring division.
: It will change you at the very core of who you are.
2’d pillar of an unhealthy relationship is envy.
: Where you find envy, there you will find disorder and every evil practice. : Envy rots the bones, our lives will fall apart if we don’t deal with envy. : No one can stand against envy.
3rd pillar of an unhealthy relationship is greed.
: Greed creates the wrong way of life.
: Breed also produces the wrong motivation in life. : Greed establishes the wrong authority in life.
4th pillar of an unhealthy relationship is disrespect.
: Disrespect is unhealthy because it devalues what God values.
: We need to be respectful in disrespectful times.
: When I’m disrespectful to others, ultimately I’m disrespecting God.
TITLE: Relationship Busters – Part 5
TEXT: I Kings 21:1-4
I. Picture of self.
A.Definition of self. It’s simply what people would call your sinful nature, your old nature, your flesh-
1. Those desires that lack ethical and spiritual goodness and is subject to sin.
B.Want a picture of self?
1. Mark 5:1-7
They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes. When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an evil spirit came from the tombs to meet him. This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him any more, not even with a chain. For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.
When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him. He shouted at the top of his voice, "What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? Swear to God that you won’t torture me!"
Question: How is this a picture of self?
a.This crazed man lived among the tombs.
-Our self is death to us. (Nothing good can come from it, it only brings death and destruction.)
b.Notice no one could bind this man. Just like our self, it can’t be controlled by human means—only the power of God can ultimately conquer it.
c.Night and day among the tombs and hills, he would cry and cut himself with stones looking for relief but never finding it.
-This is a spiritual picture of what our flesh is truly like. It’s looking for satisfaction and fulfillment but never able to find it. It wants this and that, its appetite is never quenched.
d.When this crazed man saw Jesus he fell on his knees.
-The only thing in life that can subdue the flesh is the power of God.
e.Also in this example this crazed man was demon possessed.
-Our flesh, sinful nature, is not demon possessed but it is influenced by the demonic realm.
II. In the text this morning we see a man controlled by self. Simply put, he was spoiled rotten.
A. We see it all the time—whether it’s a temper tantrum thrown at WalMart, or the teenager on TV yelling at his parents.
1.There seems to be quite a few Nelly Olsons out there and each of them demanding they better get what they want when they want it.
2.It’s bad when these spoiled kids grow up into spoiled adults. It’s a scary thing to have a spoiled adult who has a position of power.
B. King Ahab had a desire and that was to get this vineyard because it would make a wonderful vegetable garden.
1. He offers to buy it or get Naboth another vineyard in its place. -The king is willing to pay what it is worth.
2. To his shock, Naboth says no.
C. Naboth was more concerned about obeying God’s word--than pleasing the king or even making money.
1.Naboth knew that the land belonged to the Lord and that he loaned it to the people of Israel to enjoy as long as they obeyed his covenant.
-All property had to be kept in the family (Leviticus 25:23-28).
2.This meant that Naboth was forbidden to sell his land to the king.
Thought: This totally dumbfounded the king. He couldn’t understand because he didn’t have the same convictions, so he went to his room and pouted.
D. When self does not get its way, look out.
1.While the king is pouting because he was told no, his wife Jezebel comes in and tells him to get up.
2.She’s going to help him get that vineyard. When self is told no it will keep searching until it gets its way.
3.The king and queen set their wicked plan in motion. Naboth gets killed, they get the vineyard. -Self looks like it won until God steps in, bringing judgment upon them and their family.
Point: Our sinful nature will always come under the judgment of God because (v. 20, Elijah speaking on behalf of God), "I have found you, because you have sold yourself to do evil."
-Our sinful self is always bent toward doing evil.
Truth: There is nothing good in our old nature.
TS: You might be sitting there, OK Pastor, I understand my old nature, my sinful self is bad, wicked, but what am I supposed to do about it?
Let’s look at our role model, Jesus. III. Jesus, our role model.
A. Review about Jesus. Philippians 2:6-8, "Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!"
1. He was in his very nature God.
: He was rich.
: He was rich in glory. (John 17:5)
: He had the worship of the angels. (Hebrews 1:6, 8)
: He was rich in power. (Colossians 1:16, 17; John 1:3) : He was the creator. (John 1:3)
2. Jesus gave up the privileges and rights of God to become one of us.
-He made himself nothing meaning he literally emptied himself. He emptied himself to become one of us. He set his divine attributes aside to become human.
B. Jesus gives us an example that we are to follow.
1.We are to empty ourselves of our sinful nature. -Some other ways the Bible speaks about this concept:
: You need to die to yourself daily.
: Beat your body into submission.
: Crucify the flesh.
: Pick up your cross and follow Christ.
: Take off the old nature and put on the new.
2.Idea is that we are not to follow the desires of our sinful nature. They are to be crucified.
C. Another powerful picture. Jesus is dying and hanging on the cross.
1.The religious elite are standing around admiring their work and the mob shouting at him to come down from the cross and save himself.
2.How many times have we experienced the flesh crying out when we’re trying to put down a desire (to crucify it). The flesh is saying, please let me come down.
-I’m sure Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross, but he did.
TS: Let me bring this down to a very practical application.
IV. I’ve been going through a series on relationships, how to have healthy ones and how to have unhealthy ones.
A. We all want healthy relationships. But sadly we all don’t have healthy relationships. Why?
1. There are many reasons but one of the big reasons is because there is a price to pay, a cost to having healthy relationships.
-Self cannot be on the throne in our lives. You can’t coddle it, baby it, pamper it. You are to beat it and kill it with God’s help, to crucify it.
For example, I spoke about four qualities that will build relationships (serving, loyalty, forgiveness, love).
-I can tell you your selfish nature hates those qualities. Oh yes it loves them when people show those qualities to you but when you have to serve others, or be loyal to others, or to show forgiveness, or to love, your selfish nature despises them.
-It would rather gossip, envy, be greedy, and show disrespect.
B. What am Ito do if I struggle with selfishness?
1.Become a Christian. God is the only one who can bring the power to conquer.
2.I am a Christian, but I confess I’m a selfish Christian. Ask God to help change your ways.
-Like David, Oh God, create in me a clean heart.
3.I’d also say to selfish Christians—step out in faith and look for opportunities to be unselfish. -Peter instructs us to humble ourselves.
In Conclusion:
Need God to help in breaking some strongholds of the flesh.
