INTRO: The story is told of a young man during the Middle Ages who went to a monk, saying, "I’ve sinned by telling slanderous statements about someone. What should I do now?" The monk replied, "Put a feather on every doorstep in town." The young man did it. Then he returned to the monk, wondering if there was anything else that he should do. The monk said, "Go back and pick up all the feathers." The young man replied, "That’s impossible! By now the wind will have blown them all over town!" Said the monk, "So has your slanderous word become impossible to retrieve."
Today we are going to begin a series of messages on what not to do, "Relationship Busters".
-We’ve looked at how to build healthy relationships, now we’re turning the table a bit and looking at qualities that literally destroy relationships.
-Stay away from these bad boys.
TITLE: Relationship Busters
TEXT: Proverbs 16:28b
I. Definition of a gossip.
A. Webster – a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others, chatty talk.
1.A gossip is one who repeats idle talk or rumors about others. Gossip need not be, but often is, malicious.
2.In the biblical setting it’s the idea of spreading secrets or rumors, usually for the purpose of injuring someone’s character.
-Literally, it refers to a whisper
B. My opinion of gossip: It’s one of the greatest tools used by the enemy of our souls to get a foothold into our lives.
1.In Ephesians 4:27, Paul is writing to Christians and he’s warning them to watch out for this "and do not give the devil a foothold."
2.It can be so simple. You’ve heard the saying, Christians don’t gossip, they just share prayer requests.
Example. In my life I had the opportunity to watch how the enemy got a foothold into a prayer group and the destruction that took place. It started off with a noble purpose, the group wanted to pray for missionaries. They’d take prayer requests and pray for the people, but as time went by it slowly turned into a gossip session. More time was spent talking about individuals than actually praying for them.
Over time differences grew with the leadership of the church and eventually the prayer group turned from praying for people to being a command center for the devil to destroy the church.
The end result was the Lord removed them from the church and the group disbanded. God only knows the damage that was done, and it began so subtly with folks sharing a need or a problem.
Thought: The difference between a gossip and a concerned friend is like the difference between a butcher and a surgeon. Both cut the meat, but for different reasons.
II. What does gossiping do?
A.Look at the text today. It can separate close friends—not just friends but close friends, best buddies.
1. Scripture seems to indicate that close friends can even be closer than blood (brothers, sisters).
-Imagine, gossiping has the power to destroy and conquer that special relationship. Gossiping literally divides and conquers friendships.
a. Think of it this way—when I gossip I’m literally opening the lid on Pandora’s Box and letting out who knows what untold evil that will affect my life or my family’s.
B.Other scripture about the effects of gossiping.
1. Proverbs 26:20, "Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down."
-The author gives a word picture. When you don’t put wood on a fire, it goes out!
-A gossip keeps a quarrel alive, keeps it going just like wood to a fire.
Question: Who wants to live in an atmosphere of fighting and quarreling? Or who wants to work in an environment of quarreling and strife?
-No one. We need to be careful about when comes out of our mouths.
2.Proverbs 6:19, "A false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."
-Do you realize of the 7 deadly sins that the Lord hates 3 of them can easily be tied to gossiping.
3.Proverbs 11:13a, "A gossip betrays a confidence."
-If you walk the path of gossiping you will betray a confidence.
-You may not intend to, but you will because you’re so used to letting your tongue loose.
4."The tongue,"says James 3:6, "also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."
-The tongue is the most difficult member of the body to control. In fact, the idea James is bringing is if you have the ability to control your tongue and not sin you have the ability to be perfect.
a. James gives us a few pictures of what the tongue is like.
-It’s small like a bit used for a horse which is a very large animal. But the small bit steers the direction of the horse.
2’1. The tongue is like a spark, but this small spark can create a huge forest fire. rl. It’s like the rudder of a ship, but a small rudder can steer the largest ship. b. The tongue can corrupt the whole way of life and is set on fire by hell itself.
Simply put, if you’re not careful your tongue can become a great weapon in the arsenal of the devil.
: Some ancient sayings of the tongue:
-The Greeks. The boneless tongue, so small and so weak, can crush and kill.
-Persian proverb. A lengthy tongue, an early death. Don’t let your tongue cut off your head.
-Arab sages. The tongue’s great storehouse is the heart.
-Hebrew wit. Though the feet should slip, don’t let the tongue. A person who keeps his tongue keeps his soul.
Thought: We need to realize there is a supernatural power with the tongue. The Bible tells us it can either bring life or death.
-And one of the ways of bringing death is gossiping. 5. C.S. Lewis says gossiping is one of the worst sins because you’re doing the devil’s work.
Example. Gossip is like: A zookeeper tossed a hot dog into a snake pen. Two snakes immediately began to devour the stick of meat, one on either end. When the two met at the middle, the snake with the larger mouth kept on going and consumed the other! We are reminded in this passage that people are often like these snakes, consuming one another with unkind words when they disagree on an issue.
III. Why do people listen to a gossip when it’s so destructive?
A. The scriptures. Proverbs 18:8, "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts."
1.Gossiping stimulates a desire for more. Could it be addictive like tobacco, drugs, or alcohol? -After, all, it’s like a choice morsel of food.
2.Proverbs also tells us it goes down to one’s inmost being. It literally affects who you are and how you perceive things.
-It pollutes. Think of it this way.
3. Remember the time when it was the in thing to smoke. The movie stars were showing off—smoking in restaurants, workplaces, malls, everyone was puffing away on cigarettes or cigars.
-Now you don’t see much of it because they discovered that second hand smoke is very deadly, it destroys.
Point: Well, so does gossiping.
-It separates close friends.
-It ignites fights and quarrels.
-It brings division.
-It destroys a confidence.
-It is a deadly sin.
-It is the tool of the devil.
-It not only changes an environment, but the make-up of a person (who they are).
B. Wouldn’t it be a day of celebration if Christians would not gossip!
Imagine
-The lives that would be saved.
-The reputations that would not be destroyed. -The fights and quarrels that would die.
-The friends that would be saved.
-The whole and healthy people that would be spared.
In Conclusion:
Have you tasted the morsels of this wicked delicacy? If so you need to get rid of them. You might ask how. -How? Repent and ask God to forgive you!
