“It’s okay for your family to be different”
Colossians 3:18-4:1
All of that…tells us of how a family should be…
It’s all in the family.
What is?
Life……….for one thing.
What’s life without family? (It would be pretty miserable.)
We need one another.
Everyone needs to be a part of a family.
And most people start that way……….whether they stay that way or not.
”A woman was at home doing some cleaning when the telephone rang. When she went to answer it….she tripped over some toys her daughter left on the floor….As she was picking up the phone….her two sons started arguing…and then the dogs starting barking….by this time…her cell phone was ringing and the other daughter was asking her questions…..when she finally answered the phone…it was her husband on the other end….who said…"Nobody’s said hello yet, but I’m positive I have the right number."
What do you think?
That may well be how it is with many families.
All families have their good days and their bad days.
Someone said, “As the home goes, so goes society and the nation.”
And this may be true.
No doubt, one of the best things that we can do is to build a godly home life!
Paul speaks about three different family-type relationships:
1- Husbands and wives
2- Parents and children
3- Masters and servants
Let’s look at the first one: HUSBANDS AND WIVES – LOVE AND SUBMISSION
It’s suggested that the difference between the sexes is this: When a couple is supposed to go out somewhere, the woman’s first thought is, “What shall I wear?” And the man’s first thought is, “How can I get out of this?”
That may be true about Eric….but not me.
There is a definitely a difference in male and female…not just physically….but in many areas or arenas of life.
We think differently, we do differently, because we are different!
Col. 3:18-19 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
In the marriage, there should be mutual love and submission. Of course, everyone has their own idea of love and submission.
Someone has suggested there are four basic types of marriage:
Love and submit: Everything is done for the other person. Because of the joy it brings to both.
Hate and submit: You do something for the other person, just because it’s easier…and you don’t want to fool with it.
Hate and resist: You do things for the other person, just for spite…
Kind of like the JR Ewing/Sue Ellen marriage on the show Dallas.
They were with each other because they hated each other and they knew it bugged the other person that they were there.
Love and resist: I love you…but I don’t have time for you right now……I’m busy.
That’s how most marriages are.
And we have all been….if not still….guilty of that one.
How does a man get his wife to treat him like a king?
First…you have to treat her…..like a queen.
If we want to be treated one way…we have to treat others the same way…
But, it’s two-way street.
Both husbands and wives need to work at treating their spouse with kindness and love.
One evening after work a wife found a note taped to her steering wheel. That note led to ten more notes. The last one directed her to a restaurant where her husband waited with flowers and dinner reservations.
That guy has set a standard for the rest of us.
After making an ‘A’ on a difficult test another woman found a ‘congratulations’ card on her windshield. Her husband had driven 30 miles and spent an hour finding her car in the university parking lot just to encourage her.
Well, we certainly need to encourage one another in life and in the marriage relationship.
“That was a great meal, honey.”
“That was an outstanding sermon, dear.”
The old saying goes: “The more good stuff we put into something, the more we get out.”
This certainly holds true for marriage.
If you want a better marriage…..it starts with you…..not our mate.
The same thing goes for children, brothers and sisters, friends, employers, employees, teachers.
If you want a better friendship…it starts with you.
If you want to be treated better by your brother, sister, employee….treat them better first.
We must change our thinking and our ways, if we want a better marriage or if we want to change our mate.
And everyone wants a better marriage….or relationship.
Never forget…and always show…why you fell in love in the first place.
Number 2: PARENTS AND CHILDREN ENCOURAGEMENT AND OBEDIENCE
Col. 3:20-21 “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
A little boy was standing on his head……his mom saw him doing that and said “Aren’t you too young to do that? You are only six,”
The little boy said…..“It’s alright……You see, I’m nine when I am upside-down.”
Children obey your parents. Children won’t obey unless they’ve been taught to obey.
This dad comes home one day and finds his kids fighting….so he said “Butch, who started this?”……Butch said “Well, it all started when Harold hit me back,”
Children need encouragement from mom and dad and they need to learn to obey. Even the best of kids will be kids. And even the best of parents will sometimes fail in their child training.
There’s a story that came out of a newspaper in Vancouver Canada.
The headlines read “Mad Mother.”….the story goes.
Mrs. William Morris Friday paid a $55 traffic fine for her 18-year-old son, then drew back her right hand and gave him a resounding smack.
Magistrate Charles Solomon appeared startled at first, but quickly recovered himself and broke into a grin.
“Madam,” he said, “that calls, for a $10 reduction in the fine.” “That’s nothing,” replied Mrs. Morris, “wait till I get him home.”
Prov. 13:24 “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”
Prov. 22:15 “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”
In order to raise a child….you must discipline.
Discipline is a must when it comes to raising children, regardless of how that discipline is administered.
I’m not saying to beat your children…..to the point of child abuse.
I personally believe in the rod, the switch, etc. Then later, hopefully, a child will learn to listen and obey mom and when they are told thus and so.
Some time ago a school principal said to the teachers, “Don’t tell the kids to obey. That’s out. Tell them to cooperate, but not obey.”
Now cooperate is not the word my daddy used when I was growing up.
If I had not cooperated…….he would have operated.
We must teach children to obey and have consequences for their disobedience.
If they don’t learn obedience in the home then they have will serious problems at school and in their jobs.
Col. 3:21 ”Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
Too much discipline and not encouragement is not good.
We need to encourage our children when they do right as well as discipline them when they do wrong.
Here’s a piece I found on line.
This comes from the Rev Charles Cinirai
If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love.
Number 3: MASTERS AND SERVANTS HONESTY AND DEVOTION
Col. 3:22-24 “Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
When Paul wrote these words slavery was a common thing.
But, many of the slaves were well educated and had great responsibilities in the homes of the wealthy.
In I Cor. 7:21 Paul instructed slaves to gain their freedom if they could.
But he did not encourage rebellion or overthrow of the existing order of things.
The purpose of the church was to spread the gospel of Christ, not to get involved in social activities or political action.
Our goal in the church today is not so much to change people by political power but through Christ.
The answer to America’s problems is not political correctness but the power of Christ!
True change, lasting change, must come from within when Christ changes people for the better.
Paul encouraged the slaves to obey their masters in everything.
And he encouraged the Christian masters to treat their slaves with fairness and honesty.
Since slavery is abolished we must apply this text to the employee/employer relationship.
Employees must obey their employers in everything as long as it doesn’t conflict with their Christian faith.
Charles F. Kettering said: I often tell my people that I don’t want any fellow who has a job working for me.
What I want is a fellow whom a job has.
I want the job to get the fellow and not the fellow to get the job.
And I want that job to get hold of this young man so hard that no matter where he is the job has got him for keeps.
I want that job to have him in its clutches when he goes to bed at night, and in the morning I want that same job to be sitting on the foot of his bed telling him it’s time to get up and go to work.
And when a job gets a fellow that way he’ll amount to something.
Its God’s command to work hard…..but it’s also his command to rest and put family above work….but put God above everything else.
Andrew Carnegie said: The average person puts only 25 percent of his energy and ability into his work.
The world takes off its hat to those who put in more than 50 percent of their capacity, and stands on its head for those few and far between souls who devote 100 percent.
A man applied for a job and asked the manager, “How many people work in this plant?” He said, “Oh, about one in fifteen.”
Certainly as Christians we need to give a dollar’s worth of work for a dollar’s worth of pay.
Far too many people in the working world want to do as little as possible and still get paid a decent salary.
William Carey, when asked about his great accomplishments in his work of translating the Bible into Indian languages and dialects, said:
“I am not a genius, just a plodder.”
Plodder means: To work or to move slowly.
In forty years of labor, William Carey translated all or portions of the Bible into thirty-four of the languages and dialects of India.
May God help us to “plod” as well in our work as Carey did in his.
CONCLUSION------------------------------
Marriage, raising children and work.
The point is…….that Christ……should make a difference in our lives no matter what we’re doing or what we’re talking about.
It is said that the Duke of Wellington asked one of his officers,
“Why do you stand in such a slouched position?” The officer replied, “Sir, I am off duty.” Wellington fired back, “A British officer is never off duty.”
As Christians we are not “off duty.”
We should always be on duty and live for Christ at home, at work, at play and anything we do.
