The Deadly Sin of Anger—Part Two
--Ephesians 4:26-5:2
During Christmas Break of my junior and senior years at Asbury College and the summer before that senior year, I had the privilege of working for my good friends from my home Church V. G. and Mary Buckner at their Gospel Bookstore in Marion, Illinois. I’ll always remember that first Christmas working for them. A lady who was a Sunday school teacher at Energy First Baptist Church came into the store to purchase gifts for her class of older women. I volunteered to wait on her. No one on the staff had told me that she was a difficult person to please. For over an hour I kept showing her items and making suggestions that would make good Christmas gifts for her class, seemingly to no avail.
Finally she found something that pleased her, made her purchase, and went on her way. When she had left, Mary Buckner said, “David, I am so glad you were the one who waited on her. You were so patient and kind. None of us wanted to help her, because we know how difficult she is to please.” Normally I am patient. The Lord has blessed me with a good portion of that spiritual fruit. Usually I don’t have a temper or become easily angered. I have a long fuse, but when it does go off it has been known to erupt with dynamite force.
When Liz and I retire from the active ministry, we keep saying we plan to write a “tell all” book about our years of service. Names will not be “changed in order to protect the innocent” for nobody is innocent. I must share with you this true story from one of our favorite appointments in the past.
The Grade School where Justin began his education was directly across the street from our parsonage. It housed grades kindergarten through four in our community plus the junior high for the two community school district. The head cook at the school was a member of our country Church; her husband was the president of the school board; another of the cooks belonged to the town Church; and the principal sometimes came to the country Church as well. Now he was not a committed Christian; he would occasionally attend worship just to look good in the eyes of the community.
Although I would not say that the principal and the head cook actually had an adulterous love affair, for several months they did carry on a typical “junior high romance.” It was about to be exposed before the community; therefore, one evening the principal called me to his home to confess what had been taking place. He released me from all responsibility of confidentiality if the time should come when the husband might seek me for spiritual help and guidance.
It did not take long for the husband to come see me. I honored the principal’s request in an effort to bring about healing and forgiveness. Liz had been substituting for this principal for over four years in everything from kindergarten through junior high industrial arts and home economics. He had told her that if ever there was an opening for a full time teacher in the lower elementary grades he would like to have her on his faculty and would recommend the school board hire her.
Liz applied for the position as a second grade teacher. It happened to be during this same sequence of events. The principal turned on both of us. He was angry at me over the situation that had transpired between the head cook; her husband, and himself. Therefore, he took it out on Liz by lashing out at her in giving a harsh report about her ability as a teacher. She did not get the job.
The opportunity for a move to another Church came in the middle of that Conference year, and we accepted a new appointment about 150 miles across the State. At our farewell party, the cook told Liz, “I feel so badly about this. Liz, if it hadn’t been for me, I know you would have had a teaching position at our school.”
I wanted to lash out in anger and get revenge. I wanted my “pound of flesh” from the principal just as Shylock sought his from Antonio in Shakespeare’s THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. I was ready to go cuss out that “old so and so principal” in no uncertain terms and tell him “where to go.”
During this same time our two Churches held a joint Revival Meeting with noted Decatur Evangelist The Rev. Jack Kaley. I told Jack just how I felt; expressed my deep hurt and anger and my desire for revenge. Jack fully understood and wisely counseled me. “Yes, David, I understand and don’t blame you, but that will ruin your witness for Jesus. Go for a run in the woods and cuss out the trees instead.”
I never “cussed out” the trees, but I fully knew what Jack meant. I had to find a proper outlet for my anger that would not hurt others or my Christian witness. By the way, the title of the chapter in our book on these two Churches will be “It’s Hot in the Kitchen.”
The Holy Spirit spoke through Jack enabling me to express my anger in a positive way through added energy in my daily runs. I was angry because my wife had been wronged, but with the passing of time we both were victorious over what at the moment had been a great disappointment.
Anger is a proper human emotion and defense mechanism. It is sinful when it becomes vindictive and resentful and seeks to punish, mistreat, hurt and get revenge on the person who has wronged us. When we become angry at injustices in our society and diligently work to correct them, anger is used in a positive manner. A good case in point would be the fight in 18th century England and 19th century America to abolish slavery.
Today we might become angry at such injustices as the problem of abortion or the alleviation of hunger and be God’s change agents in correcting these social injustices. Our anger would be sinful if while trying to overcome the problem of abortion we display violence and physically harm other people.
Another, even more practical application, might be in family relationships and parenting. Anger due to inappropriate behavior on the part of our children or grandchildren can motivate us to effectively discipline them so as to correct their wrong behavior. If in doing so we cross the line and are guilty of domestic or child abuse, anger is sinful. In all of these instances we must prayerfully and carefully practice and apply Paul’s admonition in our text: “Be angry, but do not sin.”
The Bible has many illustrations of the proper use of anger. We might call it “righteous indignation.” Moses was an example of righteous indignation when he returned from Mt. Sinai and found the Israelites worshiping the golden calf. Exodus 32:19-20 gives us the vivid account: “As soon as he came near the camp and saw the calf and the dancing, Moses’ anger burned hot, and he threw the tablets from his hands and broke them at the foot of the mountain. He took the calf that they had made, burned it with fire, ground it to powder, scattered it on the water, and made the Israelites drink it.”
Jesus displayed “righteous indignation” towards the money changers in the Temple on Palm Sunday as we see in Mark 11:15-17, “Then they came to Jerusalem. And He entered the temple and began to drive out those who were selling and those who were buying in the temple, and He overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves; and He would not allow anyone to carry anything through the temple. He was teaching and saying, ‘Is it not written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations?’ But you have made it a den of robbers.’” Moses and Jesus are our role models in the proper use of anger as we fight against sin and injustice in our society today.
Anger can be used as a positive means of overcoming sin and its effects. We must follow the example of our Lord Himself as Psalm 145:8-9 shows us:
“The LORD is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
“The LORD is good to all,
and his compassion is over all that he has made.”
God is always angry towards sin while remaining loving, compassionate, gracious, and merciful towards the sinner. Sin in all its forms should make Christian disciples angry, but we too must remain compassionate and loving towards sinners.
God is slow to anger by giving sinners time to repent and turn to Jesus as their
Lord and Saviour. One day He His patience will end in judgment on those who have continually refused to repent. God is patient in giving sinners time to repent and slow in venting His anger and judgment towards them! As we follow Jesus, we will show the same spirit in being “slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” toward people who have wronged us.
Remember one more part of our text. The last half of Ephesians 4:26 commands us, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” When we got married, at least one person, and I think that may have been another pastor, encouraged Liz and me to make this our practice. He advised making up with your spouse before retiring for the night.
This is not something we have been able to achieve. Perhaps others have. Don’t misunderstand me, we do get over our misunderstandings and move on in our relationship with each other, but we have found for us that can not be accomplished in a period of only twenty-four hours. This is a hard verse to decipher and apply.
What Paul is saying is that we must get over our anger and move on in our relationships and with our lives as quickly as possible. We must not continue to brood over our anger and let it keep festering, growing, and consuming us. By feeding our anger and pitying ourselves, by clinging to an unforgiving spirit, we “make room for the devil.” Anger becomes a grudge and eventually bitterness. By being unforgiving, we sin. As we nurture and cling to our grudges and bitterness, we are destroyed spiritually.
Jim Nicodem is the founding, senior pastor of Christ Community Church with campuses in St. Charles, Dekalb, and Blackberry Creek, Illinois. In his sermon “The Straight Scoop on Anger” Pastor Jim shares this illustration: “You’re watching a football game, your favorite team. We’ll assume it’s the Bears. It’s a close game. In the final minutes, the officials make a lousy call, and the Bears lose. You’re angry.
“To make matters worse, they replay it ten times from five different angles. And every time you see it replayed, the hair rises on the back of your neck. You get angrier. In the post-game show, what clip do they show? That bad call. You turn on the ten o’clock news. What do they replay? Sports Illustrated comes in the mailbox. There’s a cover story on the game with a photo of this same lousy call.
“That is exactly what our mind does with a situation that’s caused anger. If we fall asleep thinking about it, you can bet we’ll still be ruminating on it in the shower the next morning.” [SOURCE: --Jim Nicodem, “The Straight Scoop on Anger,”
Preaching Today, Tape No. 172.].
“Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Do not keep playing the situation that caused it over and over again in your mind and heart, for that makes room for the devil. Be aware of your anger, acknowledge it, deal with it in a positive constructive manner, but then let it go. Turn it over to Jesus in confession and repentance; forgive whoever wronged you that caused the anger, and live in victory over the sin that would seek to destroy and master you.
