EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER: FAMILY EDITION
JOKE: A small boy was sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad." "What?"
"I’m thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad." "WHAT?"
"I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!"
Five minutes later: "Daaaa-aaaad." "WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
INTRO TO TOPIC:
• As a pastor, I have the privilege but also challenging responsibility of coming alongside of people in hard life situations – marriage conflict, parenting difficulties, etc.
• We as the church need to look for ways to help and support one another and our families.
THE BIG IDEA:
How many of you have seen those home-improvement shows?
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, is the popular reality home improvement show where families in need have their homes renovated by a specialized design crew. We are going to look at God’s design for a successful family in “Extreme Home Makeover: Family Edition.”
OPENING TEXT:
“1 A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain. 2 It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep. 3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. 5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them.” (Psalm 127:1-5).
• Solomon uses an illustration – building a family is like guarding or protecting a city
• We are living in a day and age where the family is under attack!
• If we have strong, healthy families, we will have a healthy church and a healthy society.
• God has given us a blueprint for building a successful family. Joshua 1:8.
• PERSONAL FAMILY STORY: I’ve been married for 13 years and we are trying to live by God’s design!
1. WE NEED AN EXTREME MAKEOVER IN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE FAMILY:
“And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:18,21-25).
• God’s original design for family was one man and one woman married for life.
JOKE: WHAT CHILDREN THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE:
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
• Alan, age 10—You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
• Kirsten, age 10—No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides for you, and then you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
• Camille, age 10—23 is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
• Freddie, age 6—No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
IMPLICATIONS: God’s design for family is one man and one woman married for life:
Jesus said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9).
• Divorce is wrong. (God cares for the widows & orphans, and so should the church!)
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Cor. 6:9-10).
• Fornication (pre-marital sex), adultery and homosexuality are wrong.
2. WE NEED AN EXTREME MAKEOVER IN OUR MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-25,33).
• Wives are to submit to their husbands and to respect them.
• Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her
• OUR STORY: My wife Liza and I still have date nights!
JOKE: The kids talked Mom into getting a hamster They promised to take care of their pet, whom they named Danny. Within two months, Mom was taking care of Danny. One day Mom decided enough was enough; Danny would be given to a new owner. She called the kids together to tell them. One child said, “I’ll miss him. He’s been around here a long time.” The other child remarked, “Maybe he could stay if he ate less and wasn’t so messy.” Mom was firm, “It is time to take Danny to a new home.” “Danny?” the kids wailed, “We thought you said Daddy.”
3. WE NEED AN EXTREME MAKEOVER IN OUR PARENTING:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:1-4).
• Children are to obey their parents in the Lord
• When children honour their parents, they will “live long and prosper”
• The average dad spends less than two minutes a day interacting with their children
• Parents are to not provoke their children to wrath, but discipline and instruct them.
WISDOM FOR PARENTING:
“If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don’t love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them.” (Pr. 13:24).
“Discipline your children while there is hope. If you don’t, you will ruin their lives.” (Pr. 19:18).
• Contrary to the popular parenting model today, we must discipline our children!
• “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Pr. 22:6).
OUR STORY: We do our daily devotions at dinner time, prayer at bedtime, regular nights of “forced family fun’ and my kids have ‘dates’ with dad
• Every night I tell the girls they are beautiful, and the boys that they are champions.
JOKE: A Sunday School teacher was discussing the 10 commandments with her 5 & 6 year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor your father and mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” W/o missing a beat, one of the kids answered, “Thou shalt not kill.”
4. WE NEED AN EXTREME MAKEOVER IN LIVING ROOM – IN MEDIA CHOICES
“I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not cling to me.” (Psalm 101:3).
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.” (Philippians 4:8).
MEDIA STATS: The average high school student has seen 18,000 murders by graduation.
• 42% of kids ages 10-17 have been exposed to pornography online (www.forbes.com).
• As a parent, you need to guard the hearts and minds of your children!
• Know what they’re watching on TV, and where they’re surfing online.
ILLUSTRATION:
You’ve heard the expression: Garbage in, garbage out! The kids wanted to see a movie with ‘only a little bit’ of sex and violence in it but dad said no, and they got mad. At dinner, dad made chocolate brownies with ‘only a little bit’ of doggie doo in them. They got the point.
BIBLE STORY: (Exodus 10:8-11).
“8 So Moses and Aaron were brought back to Pharaoh. "All right, go and serve the LORD your God," he said. "But tell me, just whom do you want to take along?" 9 "Young and old, all of us will go," Moses replied. "We will take our sons and daughters and our flocks and herds. We must all join together in a festival to the LORD." 10 Pharaoh retorted, "The LORD will certainly need to be with you if you try to take your little ones along… 11 Never! Only the men may go and serve the LORD, for that is what you requested." And Pharaoh threw them out of the palace”
• Pharaoh’s compromise he offered to Moses - if you’re going to go, leave the children behind.
CLOSING PRAYER:
Have families pray together with each other and ask for God’s help.
If you’ve failed before, or someone else in the family has, choose to forgive and move forward!
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