TEXT: ACTS 15:36-41
TITLE: “WHEN CHRISTIANS DISAGREE: Part Two”
OPEN: A. Last week, we talked about conflicts that arise over doctrinal differences
1. Tonight, we want to look at conflicts that arise over personal conflicts
2. David Eubanks, former president of Johnson Bible College, in an article several years ago in the
Christian Standard entitled “Unity in the Local Church”:
The problem that I address in this article … is the growing and alarming division that appears to
be taking place in local congregations … The division spring most often not from differences
over the lordship of Christ, the authority of the Scripture, the essentials of salvation and so forth,
but from matters of opinion and expedience, personal preferences, personality conflicts, loyalty
to preacher, immature leadership, failure to communicate, hurt feelings, inability of leadership
to deal with conflict, [and] sometimes just lack of planning.”
a. Dr. Eubanks’ observations are right on track
--Many times we can work out or work through doctrinal differences but can’t get over the
personal conflicts
b. More people leave congregations over real or imagined personal conflicts than over doctrinal
differences
c. More congregations split over real or imagined personal conflicts than over doctrinal
differences
B. One of the founding principles of the Restoration movement was the unity of all believers around
the authority and guidance of the Bible
1. Thomas Campbell, Declaration and Address (1809) said “that division among Christians is a
horrid evil, fraught with many evils.”
--He called division anti-Christian, anti-scriptural, and anti-natural
2. The Restoration movement was born out of the agony its leader experienced over division in the
church
C. They were simply reflecting what the Bible teaches concerning unity
1. Jn. 17:20-23 – “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me
through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in
you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given
them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me.
May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved
them even as you have loved me.
--unity of the church in Christ is essential to its evangelistic witness to the world
2. Ps. 133:1-3 – “ 1 How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! It is like
precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard,
down upon the collar of his robes. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.
--Unity = healing, refreshing, and anointing
3. God values unity. It’s precious to Him
--Someone: “The Word of God is as full of commands to live in unity with the people of the
Lord as it is to be separate from the people of the world. Separation from those wh are His is
as wrong as union with those who are not His.”
4. Satan, on the other hand, despises unity
--Satan values division. It’s precious to him
D. Let’s study our passage this evening for some insights into personal conflict
--As we do, we need to remind ourselves of a guiding Restoration movement principle: “In
essential, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. But in all things love.”
I. THE EXPOSITION
--Acts 15:36-41 – “Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, ‘Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the
towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.’ Barnabas wanted to take
John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them
in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they
parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by
the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.”
A. After clearing up one mess, they step into another
1. Not sure how long after Jerusalem conference but Paul suggests that he and Barnabas out to revisit the
places they’ve been on their previous missionary trip
2. Most likely, the circumcision controversy had caused Paul to worry about how the newly-formed
congregations were faring
--After all, if a strong congregation like Antioch was vulnerable to false teachers, then these fledgling
congregations were probably more so.
3. In fact, the churches in Galatia had some problem with “Judaizers”
--Paul wrote a letter addressing this very matter
B. Not knowing there would be a problem, Barnabas enthusiastically agrees but offers a proposal
unacceptable to Paul
1. Barnabas basically says, “Good idea. Let’s get John Mark to go with us again.”
2. The Bible says that Paul “did not think it wise” to do that
a. The Greek here alludes to John Mark’s unfitness or unworthiness to go again
b. What was the problem?
--Paul says that John Mark “deserted us” on the first trip
c. Paul is saying, “John Mark hasn’t done anything to prove that he is capable of traveling with us.
Don’t you remember, Barnabas? When we needed him the most, he was unreliable. Just as the
work was getting difficult, he bugged out on us. How can I trust him this time?”
C. The Bible then describes what it calls a “sharp disagreement” between Barnabas and Paul
1. The root word in the Greek means “to sharpen”
a. We get our English medical term paroxysm from this word.
--a paroxysm is “a sharp attack or spasm”
b, This was a disagreement that caused agony and pain on the two involved and on the congregation at
Antioch
2. Several reasons for the disagreement:
a. They had just come through a difficult controversy with the Judaizers and the conference in
Jerusalem with the elders and apostles
--their nerves were probably kind of frayed already
b. Paul was probably still harboring some resentment against John Mark from the first trip
c. Barnabas was trying to help out his younger relative and Paul’s attitude toward John Mark probably
angered him
3. The scripture then says that they “departed company”
a. The Greek here uses a term that means “to rend apart; separate”
--It’s root means “to have a large space or expanse in between”
b. This situation was not a separation by mutual agreement but by strife and bitterness
4. We can see both sides
a. On the one hand, we can understand Barnabas wanting to give his younger relative a second chance
b. On the other hand, we can hardly blame Paul for not wanting to trust someone who had deserted
them once before
D. The result is that Paul and Barnabas went their separate ways
1. Barnabas took John Mark with him and they sailed for Barnabas’ home island of Cyprus
--which, by the way, is the place that the first missionary journey began
2. Paul then chose Silas as a missionary companion
a. Silas had come from Jerusalem as one of the men who were to help in implementing the plan for
unity that came out of the conference there
b. The congregation at Antioch was in agreement and gave their blessing to the mission trip
c. The scripture tells us that they first traveled to places in Syria and Cilicia
a. In one of his letters, Paul mentions that between the time of leaving Jerusalem in Acts 9:30 and
his arrival in Antioch that he went to Syria and Cilicia
b. Gal. 1:21- “Later, I went to Syria and Cilicia…”
II. THE EXPLANATION
A. There is a generally predictable cycle with personal conflict:
1. Tension development
--events and incidences (both real and imagined) that cause the conflict and dispute
2. Role dilemma
--How do I handle this situation? What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel?
3. Injustice collecting
--Start keeping a scorecard or list of offenses that the other person or group has done to harm us or
oppose us (both real and imagined)
4. Confrontation
--I’ve taken enough and can’t take any more!
5. Adjustments – both good and bad
--We either break away from or resolve our difference with the offending person or persons
B. Five basic ways that people deal with conflict:
1. Withdrawal
a. aka “avoidance behavior”
b. pull away physically and/or emotionally
c. least effective method of dealing with conflict
2. Winning
a. Competitive
--always looking out for #1
b. Marked by selfishness
--The attitude is that I have to win the argument at all costs regardless of the consequences
3. Yielding
a. aka “accommodation behavior”
b. always giving in
4. Compromise
--many think it’s the right solution but this one can be dangerous
a. Someone or each one has to give up on something they really and truly believe in or value
b. It can leave one or both parties dissatisfied with the results
c. When that happens, the dispute is back on
5. Resolution
a. aka “collaboration behavior”
b. It’s working together to find a suitable, reasonable, scriptural, and viable (do-able) solution to the
problem
c. This method allows for change in faulty methodology
--It evaluates what we did wrong and analyzes how we can change for the better
C. Wouldn’t it have been much better for Paul and Barnabas to have come to a mutual and reasonable
decision to separate and pursue their God-given ministries with each others’ blessings?
1. Paul was an evangelist and apostle to the Gentiles
2. Barnabas was an exhorter and apostle of encouragement to believers who’ve made mistakes but want
to do better
3. Wouldn’t a mutual agreement method have honored the name of Jesus Christ and brought glory to the
Father in a much more profound way?
III. THE EXPECTATION
--God expects His people to behave in certain ways during conflict and He spells it out in the bible
A. Make sure that you deal with yourself first
--Mt. 7:3-5 – “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the
plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’
when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your
own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
B. Let bygones be bygones
1. Don’t collect injustices
--Don’t keep score
2. Phil. 3:13b-14 – “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the
goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
C. It’s our responsibility to make the first move (no matter who is at fault)
--Mt. 5:23-24 – “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your
brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be
reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
D. Offer forgiveness
--Col. 3:12-14 – “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever
grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these
virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
E. Be reconciled
--2 Cor. 5:18-19 – “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the
ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting
men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”
CLOSE: A. Jesus gives us some incredible teaching about this process of reconciliation between Christians
--Mt. 18:15-20 – “If your brother sins against you,[go and show him his fault, just between the
two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take
one or two others along, so that ’every matter may be established by the testimony of two or
three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen
even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. I tell you the truth,
whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be
loosed in heaven. Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for,
it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my
name, there am I with them.”
1. Follow the steps
a. Go by yourself
--take up matters just between the two of you
b. If that doesn’t work, take along two or three others
--Not to gang up on the other person but to ensure the process is biblical and beneficial to
both parties
c. “Tell it to the church”
--Take it to the leadership. Let them hold you each accountable as your spiritual overseers
d. Only after all these things have been exhausted can you then treat the other person as a non-
believer
2. v. 18 is always considered a difficult passage to understand
--let’s look at it in context:
a. Jesus is saying that people who are in conflict over personal matters are in bondage.
b. As long as you hold a grudge or refuse to work things out or refuse to forgive that person
and move on, the blessings of heaven are bound up
--they won’t be released
c. However, if you can “come together” as Christians then God will honor that effort and His
presence is guaranteed in the proceedings
--vss. 19-20 – “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for,
it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in
my name, there am I with them."
d. If you will do your best to work things out, to forgive one another and reconcile your
relationship; if you’ll release yourself and that other person from the bondage of bad
feelings and ill will, God says, “I will release (turn loose) the heavenly blessings that have
been bound up.”
B. Leonardo da Vinci painted The Last Supper in a church in Milan, Italy. Two very interesting
stories are associated with this painting:
1. At the time that da Vinci painted The Last Supper, he had an enemy who was a fellow
painter. He had a bitter argument with this man and despised him. When da Vinci painted the
face of Judas Iscariot at the table with Jesus, he used the face of his enemy so that it would be
preserved for ages as the man who betrayed Jesus. He took delight while painting this picture
in knowing that others would actually notice the face of his enemy on Judas.
As he worked on the faces of the other disciples, he often tried to paint the face of Jesus, but
couldn’t make any progress. Da Vinci felt frustrated and confused. In time he realized what
was wrong. His hatred for the other painter was holding him back from finishing the face of
Jesus. Only after making peace with his fellow painter and repainting the face of Judas was he
able to paint the face of Jesus and complete his masterpiece.
2. The Last Supper took over four years to complete. One reasons was because of da Vinci’s
overwhelming hatred for his fellow painter. Another reason was that when he was about
finished, a friend commented on how incredibly moving the painting was – especially the
silver cup on the table. He said, “It was brilliant! Beautiful! My eyes were immediately
drawn to it.”
Da Vinci got so angry that he immediately painted over the cup, blotting it out. The focus
of the painting was to Jesus, not the cup. All attention had to be drawn to Him. Anything that
detracted from Him had to be removed.
