Introduction: Frank and Edna had been married for 40 years and so there children surprised them with a party to celebrate their marriage. The night was filled with laughter, good friends and memories.
Later that evening Frank and Edna got back to their house and they began to go through the cards from their many well-wishers. One card was unusual and it caught Frank and Edna’s eye. The outside of the card was Bright White, lined in gold foil with very beautiful calligraphy type handwriting. When they opened the card they found the following message;
Dear Frank and Edna, I am so proud of you, 40 years of marriage is fantastic accomplishment, because of your faithfulness I am going to give each of you one wish. – God
Frank was skeptical and he began to wonder who sent them this little note. Edna was always the optimist in the family. She said. “Frank what it is true. What if god wants to give each of us a wish.” Edna then said, I wish we could go on a cruise around the world. Instantly there on the dining room table was a pair of tickets for a world cruise.
Frank was shocked and without thinking, he said, “I wish I had a woman 30 years younger then me, to go on the cruise.” Immediately he discovered he was 90 years old.
Words have a way of getting us in trouble do they not. The wrong words can cause discord in families and strain the workplace. The wrong words can bring damage to every one of our relationships. If we are not careful, the damage can be irreversible.
If you study scripture, you know God was deeply concerned about relationships. From the moment he created a helpmate for Adam to last chapter in the book of Revelations God has been in the business of creating and mending relationships.
Not only is God interested in his relationship with us, he wants us to have a relationship with one another – to live in community with one another.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus used 8 phrases to help us live in community. These 8 phrases when used properly will strengthen our relationships with one another as we strive to please God.
By way of review last week, we learned…
These 8 phrases were for the disciples of Jesus. The first two verse of Matthew 5 tell us His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them
What did he teach them? The key to a blessed life was found in relationships.
Key # 1 to a blessed life is have the ability to say, “I need you”
Today as we look at our second statement let me make one observation; these statements build on one anther. You cannot grasp statement #2 until you get you hands on the first statement “I need you”
It is my hope this past week you were able to use statement #1 in your relationships with others, if so you are beginning to understand the what it means to have a blessed life and you are ready to move on to the second statement .
1 Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him,
2 and he began to teach them saying:
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
In the routine of the day-to-day, ordinary living, this statement seems so absurd. Remember another word for blessing is happiness, so Jesus is telling his disciples, and us, we find happiness in mourning. It just does not make sense. Everything in life teaches us that the key to happiness is not found in mourning, but in seeking our own way.
Pleasure brings happiness
Money brings happiness
Entertainment brings happiness
Fame and praise bring happiness
Mourning does not bring happiness, in fact, avoiding pain, suffering and disappointments are necessary for happiness.
To discover what Jesus meant and did not mean, we have to understand the concept of mourning. Once we understand biblical mourning, we are on our way to understanding how mourning affects all our relationship with God and with other believers.
The Meaning of Mourning
Certain kinds of sorrow are common to all people, believers and non-believers. Some sorrow is legitimate focusing on loss or disappointment while other sorrows focus on selfishness and sin. To help us understand the difference we have to look at the three types of sorrow.
Improper mourning
Improper mourning is carrying legitimate mourning to illegitimate extremes. It is grieving so hard for so long, one ceases to function normally, this grief becomes sinful and destructive.
An example of this is found in the book of 2 Samuel 18 & 19, David discovers his rebellious son, Absalom was killed in battle. Absalom had wrecked havoc in the kingdom, destroying David’s credibility and integrity.
Absalom did everything he could to ruin his father. David’s army remained faithful to David and delivered David from Absalom and in a battle, Absalom was killed when the king heard that Absalom was dead he cried out in Anguish (Read 2 Sam. 18:33) it was natural for a father to cry for his son, but look what happens next. (Read 2 Sam. 19:1-4, break and explain and then read verses 5-8)
David’s love for his son was understandable, but his grief clouded his judgment to the point he almost lost his kingdom.
In the same way we can grieve to the point that we no longer are able to function normally and we too can lose our perspective in our grief – that is improper mourning.
What is Proper Mourning?
There are legitimate times when mourning is appropriate. To express sorrow and cry allows our emotions an escape valve so they do not fester and poison our emotional state. Often times mourning provides a way to healing, much like washing out a wound prevents infection.
Such examples are found through out the scriptures.
Abraham mourned over the death of his wife Sarah
Concern for the spiritual welfare of others is legitimate mourning, Paul wept at the thought of being separated from his church in Ephesus
Repentant worship cause a woman to mourn as she washed the feet of Jesus with her tears
Jesus himself mourned at the passing of his friend Lazarus
Each of these examples is the evidence of deep emotion and affection for others and is an appropriate outlet for expressing the emotion of sadness.
Yet there is a third type of emotion one must consider…
Godly Mourning
Paul describe the results of this mourning in 2 Corinthians 7:10, For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
The only sorrow that brings spiritual growth is godly sorrow, Godly sorrow is linked to repentance and repentance is linked to our sin.
In Godly mourning or sorrow we come to see our need to have our present condition changed.
Last week we talked about being poor in spirit – the idea is that we are spiritual bankrupt. When we come to that realization, we cry out “I need you”, First to God and then to our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Once we understand our need for others, we are then able to experience godly sorrow, for spiritual poverty leads to godly sorrow.
God is pleased with our brokenness It is not until we experience the brokenness of godly sorrow are we able to experience the second part of this beatitude – comforted.
David’s great sin with Bathsheba led him to the brokenness of godly sorrow when he wrote Psalm 51, For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight.
God loves and honors the a morally righteous life, but there is no substitute for a broken and contrite heart before him. Listen to the words of Isaiah 66:2, My hands have made both heaven and earth; they and everything in them are mine. I, the Lord, have spoken! “I will bless those who have humble and contrite hearts, who tremble at my word.
Brokenness is the key to being comforted by God
When we are a aware of our sin
When we are aware of what our sin has done to our relationship with God It is at that point we are broken – it is at that point we cry out in godly sorrow. The result of that brokenness is the blessing of being comforted. Godly mourning brings God’s forgiveness brings God’s happiness in the form of comfort.
How does brokenness help us with our relationships with one another? Brokenness is essential to having strong relationships with one another. Without brokenness, there are only superficial relationships that do not grow deep nor does it withstand the difficulties of life.
To have strong relationships in the body of Christ we must deal with our brokenness.
How do we deal with brokenness?
Individually – Realize we are all broken people.
In many stores you find merchandise in a certain section marked with a 2 word phrase. This 2 word phrase is a is a tip off about the merchandise being offered – The phrase? “As Is”. What the store is basically say is these items are damaged goods. Another phrase they like to use is “slightly irregular” The store is issuing a warning – something went wrong. You are going to find a flaw, the size is wrong, the zipper does not work, buttons are missing, there is a stain that will not come out – there is a problem. The store is saying if you are looking for perfection, you are in the wrong section. If you buy t here, you are getting it as is.
When it comes to the church, you have come to the “as is” section of the universe. Everyone one of us has a tag that simply says, “as is”. In other words, there is a flaw here. For some it is envy, jealousy, greed, temper, pride – but we all have a tag that says “as is” The problem in the church is we don’t like to admit we are “as is” people. We want to pretend everything is normal or fine even perfect and we will do anything to keep up the disguise of normal. I knew a woman who was so obsessed with making sure everything was perfect she had her children’s birthday party pictures staged not once, but twice so everything would look just right. Now we laugh at that, but don’t we do the same thing? We come to church and pretend everything is normal, but inside we know it is not. And we are so afraid others will fin out we are not the perfect dad, mom, husband wife, child, family, student or _______________
We are as sick as a our secrets and the only way we can find true community the only way we can have true biblical relationships is to come to grips with our brokenness. This morning you received a white tag – your “as is” tag. I want to challenge you to put on your “as is” tag serves as a reminder…
Serves as a reminder to yourself – that you are a broken person – that you need someone to handle your brokenness “I NEED YOU”
Serves as reminder to others – that you are a broken person – that you have a flaw – “I AM SORRY” – I have a flaw, and if you have a relationship with me, I may disappoint you, I may fail you – and so I say “I AM SORRY”
The key to being comforted is to admit you are a broken person.
As a Church we must deal with brokenness
For just as it is true we are broken as individuals when we come together we are also broken as a church. We must always remember as a church we are not a hotel for saints but a hospital for sinners. Therefore as a church body, we must make it a practice to 4 underlying principles to handle the brokenness of people.
Anticipate brokenness – realizing everyone who comes through the doors of our church is broken, they may not be wearing their tag, but they are broken nonetheless. Therefore, when “as is” people arrive they need to know we are ready for broken people. That is so difficult. Anticipating brokenness was a problem in the early church. James told of time when a finely dressed person arrived for worship and he was giving a preferential seat while the less fortunate was asked to sit in the shadows, James said this should not be. I hope as a church family we make it possible for “As is’ people to discover Christ and therefore they can deal with their brokenness.
Prepare for brokenness – as our church grows larger, it will be necessary for us to grow smaller by offering small group ministries, which help people deal with their brokenness. The world is crying for us do we cry for the world? Listen, the world is seeking help with their brokenness and the church must be the place where brokenness can be dealt with in a positive life giving way.
Affirm brokenness – Broken people must feel welcomed here. You cannot manufacture hospitality for broken people. The only way to affirm broken people is to remember what it was like to be a broken person. What was it like to be without Christ? To have no hope, to realize without Christ I am nothing. If you can remember, what that is like you will affirm brokenness and you will be able to relate to broken people.
Model Brokenness – In the book of James we read one of the most interesting and least practiced commands of scripture. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16
When we talk about confessing what comes to your mind, if you were brought up in some churches, you have the idea of a confessional booth. In our church we ask people to make the great confession, Jesus is the Christ…
What is James telling us to do? Are we to set up confessional booths around the building? Are we to confess our sins in a public setting each week?
I do not think so. The book of James is very practical in nature. The majority of the book of James deals with how we relate to one another, therefore in confessing our sins James is calling for us to have a mutual honesty and mutual confession as we pray for one another. When we maintain open, sharing and praying relationships we help keep one another from bottoming out in our spiritual lives.
Therefore I confess my sins to my brother in Christ who I know will pray for me, for when he prays for me his has my greatest good at heart. This brings about healing, not physical healing but the spiritual healing of helping me restore my relationship with God. Everyone of us needs that person we can go to who will pray for us – this needs to be a model for our church to follow if we are going to deal with brokenness.
Jesus said blessed are the poor in spirit - Blessed are those who can say I NEED YOU
Once you admit you need others, you are ready for the next step in your relationship with God and with others – Blessed are those who mourn – those who can say – I AM SORRY
PRAYER
