AM Sermon preached at Central Christian Church March 4, 2007
God’s Top Ten (7th commandment) Restrain Sexual Desires
AFTER COMMUNION SHOW VIDEO CLIP “BA_ADDICTION” ---IN SHARED VIDEO FILE--- WHILE I’M GETTING THINGS READY ON THE STAGE…
AFTER CLIP SHOW SERIES SLIDE---IT’LL AUTOMATICALLY ADVANCE TO A SERMON TITLE SLIDE THEN ON TO A BLANK SLIDE… {For those reading this at Sermon Central---this was a video clip that had you thinking a guy was going to admit to being addicted to pron but who instead admits to being addicted to scrapbooking}
I’ll tell you what I saw that video clip and thought I have to use it for two reasons---1) my daughter works at Archievers (for you guys who don’t know—that’s a scrap booking store) and 2) I thought we could all use a good laugh here at the start of my message because some of the things you’re going to hear today may make you feel like crying. You see I pretty well figured that everyone watching that clip would think that those two guys were going to admit to being addicted to pornography. And pornography is only one among many sexual sins which this seventh commandment addresses. And let me tell you something---we need to hear what’s being said about this seventh commandment this morning. We need to hear it if we’re young and impressionable concerning our sexuality. We need to hear it if we’re married or single. We need to hear today’s message if we’re parents with kids at home. We need to hear it if we’re college aged and living on our own. Grandparents- you need to hear this message. The future of many marriages are at stake. Lives are at stake. Souls are at stake. You see, battle lines have been drawn and the enemy is advancing---and we dare not slumber or take this matter lightly.
Now some of you may be thinking----whoa now---slow down there man and take a deep breath---things can’t be all that bad, can they? I want you all to know that of all the commandments I’ve written sermons on so far in this series---this has been the hardest one for me to pull together. You see, today’s topic is so intensely personal. And I know that some of what I’m going to say today will embarrass some of you. Some of you will be angered by my words. Some of you will feel guilty. Some of you will write me off as being old-fashioned and out of date---and you’ll close your heart and mind only to leave this place a little more callous about your sin. Some, however, will leave this place a little wiser---a little stronger and a little better prepared to do spiritual battle in the war for sexual purity.
Just how bad is it out there? And what really are we up against? Well, let me share with you some of the information I gleaned from 17 pages of fairly up to date statistics. [SLIDE 4] I learned first of all that sex is the #1 topic searched on the internet. Now I wasn’t really surprised to learn that---but the number of pornographic sites did surprise me. [SLIDE 5] I found that in 1998 there were 14 million pornographic websites. Five years later that number had grown to 260 million. The next year that number jumped from 260 to 372 million. If that rate of growth continues through the end of this year---when 2007 comes to an end there will be somewhere in the neighborhood of 700 million pornographic websites out there. And we’ve got a whole generation coming up---many to be married soon who have been gathering strange, unholy and unhealthy ideas about sex from the net---incredibly sad is that the [SLIDE 6] largest consumers of internet pornography are young people in the 12-17 year age bracket. [SLIDE 7] Folks 2.5 BILLION pornographic emails are sent everyday over the web. And while many people operate under the assumption that porn is a guy problem---the truth is [SLIDE 8] there are growing numbers of both men and women who are becoming addicted to internet porn. I don’t know about you [SLIDE 9] but it makes me wonder ---what’s next?
Besides the internet sexual immorality is being promoted via the adult movie industry. [SLIDE 10] Here in America we’re producing 11,000 new porn films every year and Americans are renting 800 million adult videos & DVDs annually. [SLIDE 11] HALF of all hotel guests watch pornographic movies. [SLIDE 12] And PORN accounts for 70% of the in-room revenue raised by hotels. ARE YOU BEGINNING TO GET THE PICTURE? [SLIDE 13] Cable networks provide pay per view services for those who don’t feel like they have to sneak off to a hotel to watch adult programming. [SLIDE 14] It wasn’t all that long ago that MTV launched a new channel---the LOGO channel which has been designed to appeal to and promote the homosexual lifestyle. [SLIDE 15] And in America the number of couples cohabitating went from about ½ million in 1960 to over 5 million by the year 2000. I’m not sure what that number is today. By the way I’ve got to say this about cohabitating---besides the fact it’s a sin---society has sold us a totally lame idea. Here’s what I’m talking about [SLIDE 16] in our culture people often speak of cohabitating---that is living together before marriage—in terms of a test drive. They say ---well now you wouldn’t go out and buy a car without taking it for a test drive first, would you? So doesn’t it just make sense to have a trial run before you commit to marriage?” [SLIDE 17] Now the idea of taking the relationship for a test run sounds pretty good when you think in terms of being the driver…but that’s where the analogy breaks down. [SLIDE 18] The idea of the test drive doesn’t sound so good when you think of yourself as the car. Get real. Cars don’t have feelings. They don’t have a soul---so if you take them back after a test spin---they feel nothing. But dumping people because you decided to look for a different model—that’s a whole different matter.
And while we’ve talked touched on the topics or internet pornography, the adult movie industry, homosexuality and cohabitation--- there’s so much more going on--- [SLIDE 19] there’s printed porn---STDs/AIDS…900 numbers…adult bookstores, strip joints, night clubs, prostitution and on and on we could go. But let me tell you what really concerns me most in all of this---it’s the indifference of so many Christians---the lack of voices speaking out against this tidal wave of immorality---even worse than the lack of voices are those voices of agreement. Believe it or not---[SLIDE 20] studies show that half of the people in our nation who call themselves Christians don’t see a problem with couples living together. [SLIDE 21] 39% think there’s nothing wrong with sexual fantasizing. [SLIDE 22] Incredibly more than 1/3 of today’s church going women have intentionally visited pornographic websites. [SLIDE 23] And get this ½ of church going men struggle with pornography.
And here in this seventh commandment, [SLIDE 24] the commandment where God says “You shall not commit adultery” is a clear call for God’s people in every generation to maintain sexual purity. Now there in the midst of all that depressing stuff I came across statistically speaking—there was one statistic I was glad to see. [SLIDE 25] It was that fact that 80% of Americans believe adultery is wrong and that only physical abuse does more harm to a marriage. 80% say its wrong---if only the majority practiced what it preaches…because although 80% say it’s wrong studies conclude that more than 1/3 of the men and ¼ of the women in America have cheated on their spouse at least once.
While that contradiction between words and deeds is somewhat mind blowing I think I know why some people commit adultery. They do it because they’ve fallen for one or more of the myths about adultery that’s circulating. Very quickly I want to expose three of the more prevalent myths people are buying into. [SLIDE 26] The first is the myth that committing adultery will make your marriage better. [SLIDE 27] The movie--- The Bridges of Madison County relates the story of an Iowa farmer’s wife who has a brief extra-marital affair with a National Geographic photographer that supposedly helped re-energize her marriage. In a similar vein, the movie The Prince of Tides which by the way received seven Oscar nominations---it shows a married therapist bedding down her also-married patient. Some people buy into this myth that an affair will make their marriage better. [SLIDE 28] But the reality is---adultery doesn’t help marriages, it destroys them. Adultery leads to divorce 65% of the time. Another myth about adultery people tend to believe is this one—[SLIDE 29] They think that having an affair will lead them down the road to a new, more loving and more satisfying marriage. The truth---the truth is on average affair relationships last two years---only 3% of affair relationships lead to marriage and of the ones who do get married 75% of those marriages end in divorce. [SLIDE 30] DO the math friends---that means only 1 out of every 100 adulterous relationships produces a lasting marriage. And even then---don’t you wonder if that couple can ever be truly happy or secure in their relationship; I mean after all the person they’re now married to at one time cheated WITH them---what’s to make them think they won’t at some point later on cheat ON them? [SLIDE 31] A third myth about adulterous affairs---a little fling doesn’t really hurt anyone. How naïve can a person be? Besides the probability of divorce…there’s the loss of passion for one’s spouse---there’s guilt---there’s the hurt of rejection--- and on top of all that [SLIDE 32] affairs often lead to unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. You may have thought you got away with that little fling---that one time encounter on that business trip but when your spouse, who has always been faithful to you, is told by the doctor that they now are HIV positive---how can the cheating spouse say “well no real harm was done?” [SLIDE 33] The Bible asks the rhetorical question in Proverbs 6:27 “Can a man scoop fire in his lap without his clothes being burned?” The obvious answer---no, he can’t. And neither can a man or woman commit adultery without hurting themselves and others. It just doesn’t happen.
[SLIDE 34]
Now please understand this---God gave us this commandment for the same reasons He gave us the others. He gave it for our good. God’s not against sex. Think before you draw that conclusion. If God was against sex He wouldn’t have created humans as male and female—and He certainly wouldn’t have told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. The fact is after each and every day of the first five days of creation God looked upon what He’d made and He said “that’s good.” But at the end of the sixth day of creating, after God had made Adam and Eve--- it was then that God changed His tune---at the end of the sixth day--- after He had created man in His image and He made man male and female---that’s when God said “Ah now this---this is very good.” No God’s not against sex.
However God has drawn up some boundaries for sex. In the same way that a river becomes destructive when it leaves its banks---God knows that left unchecked our sexual desires can reek havoc. So God says to us through this commandment---put fences up around your sexual desires and limit your sexual activities. Sex in marriage is a very good thing---but sex outside of marriage is destructive, hurtful and it is sin.
Last week when we looked at the sixth commandment---the commandment not to murder, we found a teaching by Jesus which said that no only is it wrong to actually physically kill someone---it’s wrong to even want to. Jesus also had some things to say about this seventh commandment that take it to a higher level…Here’s what He taught… [SCRIPTURE SLIDES] “Mat 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, ’Do not commit adultery.’
Mat 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Mat 5:29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Mat 5:30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”
[SLIDE 38]
Now I don’t think Jesus is asking us to practice self-mutilation. And I don’t believe He is really calling for us to gouge our eye out. I mean since Jesus has made it clear that sexual sins take place in our hearts long before they take place in a bed or a backseat and that looking lustfully at a woman is itself a sin and we were in fact supposed to tear our eyes out the first moment we had a lustful thought for another person---why none of us guys would have ever made it out of Junior High with eyesight. No, Jesus isn’t calling for us to actually pluck our eyes out of their sockets---what He’s calling for is for us to have a “whatever it takes” attitude in regards to honoring God with our bodies. We saw last week that the commandment not to commit murder called for us to manage our anger and to value every person’s life. This commandment not to commit adultery is a call for us to manage our sexual desire and to do whatever it takes to honor God with our bodies.
Paul understood the heart of this seventh commandment that why he wrote to the Corinthians.. [SCRIPTURE SLIDES] “18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
Paul also wrote these things… [SCRIPTURE SLIDES]
1 Th 4:1 Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more.
1 Th 4:2 For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
1 Th 4:3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;
1 Th 4:4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
1 Th 4:5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;
1 Th 4:6 and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you.
1 Th 4:7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.
1 Th 4:8 Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
And in the books of Hebrews we read [SLIDE] 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
[BLANK SCREEN]
With all the temptation out there---how can we succeed at honoring God with our bodies? Let me give you several practical ways to help yourself and others avoid sexual sin.
First of all—work on your relationship with God. As you grow to love Him more deeply you will find it easier to harness activities and thoughts which you know hurt Him deeply. And as you grow to know Him better you learn to trust Him more---and you come to realize better and better that He wants only what is best for you. Don’t just attempt to drop the immoral sexual thoughts and activity. Fill the void with spiritual thoughts and activities.
Secondly---if you have the internet in your home-- Make sure you turn on the filters that help weed out adult oriented sexually explicit materials. You may want to buy and install some software. It’s not a bad idea if you struggle with lust to put a watchdog program on your computer that reports your viewing activities to an accountability partner. Use your head when it comes to internet use. Don’t spend hours on the internet late at night while everyone else is asleep. Online affairs are just that—they’re affairs. Jesus’ words about lust mean that emotional and mental affairs are as much sin as actually physically having sex with someone you’re not married to.
Parents be cautious about allowing your children to have an internet computer in their room---and you be a watchdog of their internet activity. Let them know that they must be willing to let you check their internet history at any moment, any day, the moment you ask to see it. Tell them if they don’t give you immediate access or if its obvious they’ve just erased their history that you’re grounding them from the internet. I also believe a parent has a right to know their children’s passwords and account ids. Same thing goes for you married men and women. Your spouse should be able to check out your web history at any moment, any day without delay. And guys if you struggle with pornography, don’t just install filtering software---put your wife in control of that software---let her create the password for it. If you’ve tried everything you know but still find yourself or find your children visiting adult websites or carrying on inappropriate dialogue in chat rooms---get rid of your internet.
Same principle holds for your cable or satellite television viewing. If you’re constantly giving in to temptation and watching the sexual material on it, get rid of it. Better to be without cable or satellite TV now than to be without Jesus for eternity, right?
If you’re traveling and staying alone in a hotel room, find some way to keep your time alone in your room to a minimum---and/or to fill it with positive activity---take a good book with you, take videos from home with you, take an instrument to practice with you, spend extra time at the gym working out or sit around the lobby and read the newspaper until you’re just about ready to fall asleep. Call your spouse on the phone every day if you’re married. And remember, if you’re married the only person you should every flirt with is your spouse. We’re told in Proverbs to drink for our own well and not to share our sexual love with anyone else.
If you’re involved in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, drop it right now. When a soldier catches a live hand grenade thrown at him by the enemy he doesn’t say to himself “gee I wonder how long it will be before this thing blows up in my face.” No, he gets rid of it immediately. If you’re involved in a sinful sexual relationship you need to drop it right now. Don’t go back into that house or that apartment when the other person’s there. Don’t let them seduce you into sin one more time. Tell them you’ve decided you can no longer continue dishonoring God with you body.
One way to beat the pull of immoral sexual desire is to hang out with committed Christian people. If they’re committed to honoring God with their own body they won’t be encouraging you to dishonor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 15:33 states that “bad company corrupts good character.” So chose your friends and dates carefully.
If you’re married, work on your marriage. Do what you can to help keep the romance and sexual passion alive. Try to learn your partner’s deepest needs and seek to fill them. I read this past week that most affairs aren’t about sex—they’re about other needs that were not discussed or were not met at home.
And lastly always remember there will be consequences to sexual sin. I thought it was interesting to learn that the Illinois Department of Natural Resources reports that more than 17,000 deer die each year after being struck by motorists on state highways. And according to Paul Shelton, state wildlife director, the peak season for road kills is in late fall. Why? The bucks are in rut in November. "They’re concentrating almost exclusively on reproductive activities," he said, "and are a lot less wary than they normally would be." Deer aren’t the only ones destroyed by preoccupation with sex. Remember you can’t scoop fire into your lap without burning your clothes.
INVITATION
As we prepare for our time of invitation this morning I’d like to share one last illustration with you. Back in 1997 Newsweek carried an article about a couple who boarded a subway train in London and proceeded to perform sex acts on each other. The other passengers kept on reading their newspapers or looking the other way. When the couple finished, they lit up a cigarette. That proved to be too much for the passengers who complained to the conductor, “This is a non-smoking train.” I think we’d all agree that there’s something wrong with a society that’s more offended with public smoking than public sex. But do each of us personally agree that there’s something wrong when we’re more interested in doing sex our way than living life God’s way? The 7th commandment calls us to honor God with our bodies. As we sing the decision hymn let’s recommit ourselves to doing just that. And as always if anyone would like to make a public decision to receive Christ in baptism or become a member of Central Christian Church we’d welcome it….
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NOTE TO THOSE WHO READ AND OR CHOOSE TO MAKE USE OF ANY OR ALL OF THIS SERMON: I am sharing this sermon with the hopes it will be an encouragement to others. I apologize for any blatant typing errors! If you find any I’d appreciate hearing from you so I can correct them. I try to give credit where credit is due, noting writers and or sources to the best of my ability. I have for years been drawing from a wealth of sources including this website. I recognize that my mind and writing processes are fallible. I may occasionally fail to properly identify a source. Please do not take offense if you see anything of this nature. I never intend to plagiarize. Having said that I want you to feel free to draw from my message. When appropriate I hope you will give credit as I do. But most of all I hope Christ will be lifted up and God will receive the glory in all things.
