WHY DOES GOD HATE SEX?
I CORINTHIANS 6 VERSES 12-20
Allow me to give you some statistics – you might be shocked by these. These statistics come from a survey carried out within the Christian church, amongst leaders and lay people – please remember that as you listen to them.
64% struggle with sexual addiction or sexual compulsions, including but not limited to use of pornography, and other secret sexual activity.
25% admitted to having sexual intercourse with someone other than their wife, while married, and since becoming a Christian.
Another 14% acknowledged having a sexual contact short of intercourse with someone outside of their marriage since becoming a Christian.
When you put all the figures together the startling statistic is this – 50% of people (who are committed followers of Christ) within the Christian church admitted having some sort of inappropriate sexual contact/activity outside of marriage. What this tells me is that illicit, immoral, sexual activity is not something out there but actually a painful reality within the lives of many people within the church. Let me say to you, I didn’t need that survey to tell me that was the case. As a pastor I have dealt with such issues all of my ministry and without breaking any confidences HTW is not exempt from those statistics. So this is a reality that we need to address directly, honestly and biblically and that is what I propose to do this morning.
The world in which you and I live bombards us with sexual imagery every day. In fact it would appear that we live in a society obsessed with sex and sexuality. The message of the world is pretty clear when it comes to sexual behaviour. It is an isolated, physical act and it is something that we can engage in and move on in life without any really serious consequences. Because the world sees the area of sexual activity as primarily physical its concern is primarily avoiding any physical consequences of sexual activity. Hence the whole promotion of condoms for safe sex etc. Basically the world says: “Avoid the physical consequences (STD’s and pregnancy) and everything will be okay.” The world tells us to forget what God says concerning sexual activity because in reality it sees Him as a cosmic killjoy who is opposed to sex. Whereas from in Scripture we read that God is the author of sex. He is the one who invented sex and gave it to mankind as a gift to be enjoyed, cherished and for more than just a physical experience (as we shall see in a moment).
Listen to these words from Genesis 2 verse 24 – read. What does this verse teach about sex? It teaches that it was the first gift that God gave Adam and Eve. After He had breathed life into their bodies what instruction did He give them? Read Genesis 1 verse 28 ‘Be fruitful and multiply…’ The first instruction given to Adam and Eve by God was to engage in sexual intercourse for the increase of mankind on the earth. That is why we include that in the preface to the marriage ceremony. God gave sexual intercourse as a gift to mankind but did you notice the rules He placed upon it – read again Genesis 2 verse 24. One man and one woman. They leave their parents and join together and become one flesh. God gave them the gift and fenced it round, not because He is a killjoy, because He knows that the sexual act is not primarily physical but is primarily relational. Two people becoming one. When a man and a woman engage in sexual activity they become one. Not just physically one but emotionally, spiritually and relationally one. You see the primary consequences of sexual activity are not physical but relational. That is why God has ring fenced it within marriage. Sex outside of heterosexual marriage sows relational seeds that reap a harvest in other relationships and those seeds filter down through the generations. They get passed on to your children and your grandchildren.
You don’t believe me? Why then do statistics show that young girls whose fathers had affairs or left home are more likely to fall pregnant outside of marriage than those whose fathers did not behave in such a manner? I could go on but I won’t. Even in Scripture it is seen. David and Bathsheba which sowed seeds that bore the following fruit within his family. Amnon, his son, raped Tamar (his sister, David’s daughter). Amnon was then killed by Absalom in revenge for this and David had no moral integrity to intervene at any stage.
Turn with me if you would please to 1 Corinthians 6 and the reading which Colin read for us this morning.
Context – 1 Corinthians
This is the only church to which Paul writes that he rebukes the congregation for being worldly and not spiritual. The main problem would appear to be one of status and competitiveness amongst the believers. The constant battle to achieve superiority has destroyed the love and unity of the church and Paul has to correct that in his letter. One of the main areas of worldly living is in the area of sexual behaviour and it is to that we will now turn.
Look at verse 18 – ‘Flee sexual immorality…’ the teaching could not be any clearer. But let me ask you, in all honesty, do we flee sexual immorality or do we flirt with sexual immorality? The world in which we live has blurred the meaning, the definition, of sexual immorality. Hence you can have a president of the USA coming on television and saying ‘I did not have sex with that woman.’ When the truth is that he engaged in sexually immoral behaviour with a young intern. Let me tell you as a pastor I have heard the same pathetic attempts to redefine sexual immorality and to draw the line somewhere other than where God in His word draws the line. The world wants us to be able to draw up our own definition of sexual immorality. A little bit like humpty dumpty in Alice in Wonderland when he says: “Words can mean exactly what I mean them to mean.”
Let me give you God’s definition of sexual immorality: Sexual immorality is anything that points to sex outside of heterosexual marriage. The Biblical response to such is to ‘flee sexual immorality.’ It is not to flirt with it, analyse it, discuss it, or moralise about the definition but to flee from it. We say it is harmless. Is it really harmless? Tell that to the wife left with three children because the husband thought it was harmless to have an affair with the secretary. Tell that to the teenage girl looking at a positive pregnancy test after a one night stand. Tell that to the young man who has contracted a sexually transmitted disease because it was just harmless fun. I wish you could be with me when the walls cave in and the so called ‘harmless sexual activity’ is exposed. If only we could see the devastation in families and in lives when ‘harmless sexual activity’ is revealed then we would not be so blasé about such behaviour. The world will tell you the reason God wants you to flee from such sexual behaviour because He does not want you to have any fun, but that is a lie.
Look at verse 15 – you see you don’t know everything there is to know about sexual activity. Paul tells the Corinthian believers: “You don’t know everything about sexual activity. You think you do but you don’t.” Paul tells them that when they came to faith in Christ Jesus they were united with Christ Jesus. They have become one with Him in spirit. Therefore where they go Christ now goes. What they do in their physical bodies means taking Christ into that physical act. To shock them into the reality of their actions he asks them “Would they unite Christ with a prostitute?” “Never”! He shouts at them. You see in Corinth there were temple prostitutes at all the pagan shrines and the Corinthians freely engaged in sexual activity with them. When they came to Christ some of the believers continued to behave in such a manner. Hence Paul asks them about uniting Christ with a prostitute. The very thought of such a thing is blasphemous to them, and I hope to us all this morning. But listen to me friends, Paul is writing to Christian believers in the Christian church. He is not writing to the world outside but to those who claim to have surrendered their lives to Christ and given themselves over to following Him. It is to these people that Paul says: ‘Flee sexual immorality…you would not dream of uniting Christ with a prostitute…but you do such an abhorrent, blasphemous thing when you indulge in sexually immoral behaviour.’ Your body and your spirit are not separated whilst you live on this earth. What you do with your physical body affects your spiritual life. What a wake up call for the church at Corinth and for us this morning.
Verse 16 – again Paul asks them ‘Do you not know…?’ For a second time he wants them to realise that they do not know everything about sexual activity. I wish the world would waken up to that fact this morning. I hope you have woken up to that fact this morning. The world, and you, do not know everything about sexual activity or its consequences. Paul tells them what we read in Genesis 2. He takes them right back to the creation order and the God given purpose of sexual intercourse. That the two, man and woman, may become one flesh. You see at the very core of sexual intercourse, of sexual activity, is relationship. Sexual intercourse is not primarily physical but relational. Something, that did not exist, now exists because of the sexual act. Two have become one. Before they were two separate entities but now through the physical union there is a relational union and they have become one. Sex outside of heterosexual marriage creates a relational entity that you will carry into every other relationship for the rest of your life. Do you remember when AIDS first came to the fore and the advertisements pointed out that when you had sexual relations with one person you were in fact having sexual relations with a whole host of people. Through the interconnections of relationships you were in fact having sexual relations with many people. All that revealed was the world had discovered what God had taught in His Word for over 2000 years. When two become one it cannot be undone and the relational seed is carried with you for the rest of your life.
Verse 17 – Paul then points out the logical conclusion to this. When you come to Christ and are united with Christ by faith you become one in Him. Let me ask you: “Was it an isolated event when you came to personal faith in Christ? Or did that decision to yield your life to Christ have consequences here and now in your life? Did becoming a Christian have only an impact, a consequence, for that moment or for every day since?” Therefore what ever sexual activity you engage in as a Christian you are taking Christ into that activity. Now let me ask you: “Is it a place, a situation, an activity, a relationship you would gladly take Christ if he were physically standing beside you?” Sexual activity is not an isolated event. When you engage in sexual activity with another person you sow relational, emotional and spiritual seeds in your life and theirs. Those seeds may lie dormant for years, decades even, but they will bear fruit in your life at some point. The world is lying to you when it tells you that sexual activity is primarily physical and you can move on without any consequences so long as you safeguard yourself against the physical consequences. Stop believing the lies of the world when it comes to sexual activity.
Verse 18 Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, therefore tells the believers at Corinth, and us: ‘Flee from sexual immorality…’ Listen very carefully to what I am now going to say. Look at verse 18 very closely. Do you see what Paul says about sexual activity outside of the God given parameters of heterosexual marriage? IT IS IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CATEGORY TO ALL OTHER SIN. It is not worse than any other sin and it is not the unforgivable sin but it is in a category all of its own. Do you see that? “All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” Why would Paul say this? What does he mean? The answer is because sexual immorality erodes your capacity for intimacy. Let me repeat that so that you are clear about what Paul means here. Sexual immorality erodes your capacity for intimacy. Your body was created for relationship with God and with other people. That is the plain teaching of Genesis 1 and 2. No other animal in all creation was found as a relational fit for Adam and so God created Eve. The relational fit is seen in the first command of God that Adam and Eve should become one flesh. The deepest intimacy a man can experience is the intimacy of sexual union. What did God say of this? It was very good. The rest of creation He says ‘it was good’ but of Adam and Eve on the sixth day it says ‘it was very good.’ The relational fit of intimacy as expressed in the sexual union of one man to one woman is a God given gift and a God created ordinance and when we break those boundaries we damage our God created, God given, God ordered capacity for intimacy with another person. When we step outside those boundaries by engaging in sexually immoral behaviour we rob ourselves of the deepest intimacy and pleasure that God has intended for us in the two becoming one. When you sin sexually you damage your capacity for an intimate relationship with another person. Sexual intercourse is the ultimate expression of intimacy and it is eroded when it is cheapened to a mere physical act and indulged in outside of heterosexual marriage.
Look at the films etc that you watch. Are the sexual relationships ever depicted as between a husband and a wife? What is the world saying there? Sexual relations are an isolated event and they have no consequences but the physical. There is no comeback, but the physical. We know, we know that is a lie. In our heads we know it is not true but still in our hearts we want to believe it to be true. We want the lie to be true because we want to redefine sexual immorality according to our standards and not according to the Word of God. Every time you have sexual relations outside of marriage you rob yourself of the sexual experience that God wants you to have within marriage. Your sexual sin results in relational chaos within marriage with your marriage partner. It results in relational chaos with your children and potentially with your grandchildren, with friends, and with society. If you don’t believe the Word of God on this you are either deaf to the Holy Spirit and or deliberately deceiving yourself.
As I finish this sermon let me turn for a moment to some practical advice. Parents you will want to take this on board for yourselves but also I would humbly suggest you want to teach it to your children. They may be smart at maths, English and science etc but they are not that intelligent when it comes to this area of life that you should leave them to figure it out for themselves. If you don’t teach them the truth about sexual relations and the consequences they will buy into and believe the lie of the world. Can I humbly suggest that as parents you need to open your eyes to the reality of the world in which your children and teenagers live today. We live in a nation with the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Western Europe. We have a soaring divorce rate. 33% of teenagers in the UK are sexually active before the age of 16 (from the Royal Institute of Public Health) Do you think the teenagers within HTW are immune to all this sexual pressure? In the same statistics 40-50% of 14-15 year olds said they wanted their parents to give them advice in this area of life. Where do you think they are getting their education and their standards from in this area of their life if you are not teaching, and modelling, it from Scripture? Parents, I seriously challenge you on this, look at their Bebo sites and what their friends are posting on those sites. Don’t accept they have it hidden with passwords. Look at what they watch on the internet, in the cinema and on TV. Censor their viewing and their computer games. Take a look at teenage magazines that come into your house. Young people hear what God says to you this morning: Sexual activity is not just a physical act. It has relational consequences that will affect the rest of your life and which you will take into every relationship, including marriage, if you get married. I know you are better educated in this whole area than previous generations but please, please, I beg you, obey the Word of God in this area.
Turn with me as we finish to Proverbs 4 verses 23-27. The writer tells us there are four areas we are to guard or be aware of in our lives and I would suggest to you that they are the key to helping all of us in this battle field of sexual holiness and wholeness.
Heart (or mind). Your mind is the most powerful sex organ in the body. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 10 verse 5 to ‘take every thought captive before God.’ We no longer tolerate, entertain or feed the sexually immoral thoughts. We are to push them out of our minds. Again Paul tells us what we are to replace them with: Philippians 4 verse 8. Our minds are to dwell on those things which are pure and honourable. Friends, we need to guard what we feed into our minds and we need to take control again of our thoughts and where they run to. In his memoirs Field Marshall Montgomery wrote this: “It is essential to realise that battles are primarily won in the hearts of men.” Who will win the battle in your heart in this area of your life?
Mouth – one of the companions of sexual immorality is lies. When an individual is involved in sexually immoral activities they will deceive themselves, their family and even try to deceive God. Read Psalm 51 and 2 Samuel 12 to see how a man who is described as being ‘after God’s own heart’ lied to himself, to others and even to God about his sexually immoral behaviour. Listen to James 5 verse 16 – read. Friends it is vital that you have someone you can trust to tell the truth about this to. You will never win this battle on your own.
Eyes – ‘look directly ahead’ says the writer of Proverbs. Retrain your eyes people. Listen to Job 31 verse 1 – read. I think that is a good covenant for us to take on board, especially we men. Ladies, can I say as gently as I can: “We men need help in this area and the way you dress matters. Provocative dressing is not a sign of godliness.” Yes I know men are at fault because of lustful looks but the truth is also that some women dress to draw attention to their bodies. Surely as a daughter of the King of Kings you want to be viewed as a princess, as royalty and not just as a ‘body’ to be lusted after. So men, can I humbly request of us all that we make a covenant with our eyes and with the way we look at and treat women?
Feet – the writer of Proverbs tells us we need to guard where we walk. We need to guard ourselves from certain places and situations. We need to avoid certain company and certain places. Know where your fault lines lie and where your weaknesses are and do not compromise them by entering into those situations. Have other people in your life who will hold you accountable for the places you walk.
Finally let me say this to us all. No one is without blame in this area. No one can cast the first stone here. Remember how Christ treated the woman caught in adultery. He told her He would not condemn her but then told her to go and leave the life of immorality. Christ will not condemn us because we have fallen into sin but we must repent of it and walk away from it. Amen.
