Truth-Telling
Wildwind Community Church
David K. Flowers
December 30, 2007
What is truth? Dallas Willard is one of my favorite thinkers and writers, and I like how he defines truth. He says truth is what you run into when you make a foolish decision. Think about that. Some people, as soon as they hear that question asked, assume they are in for a boring, philosophical sermon. But nothing is more important to your daily life and how it feels to live life as you than knowing and living in the truth. Because truth is out there and if you don’t know what it is, and live your life according to it, you will run into the consequences and they will have painful effects in your life.
When you refuse to live in truth, the result will be darkness of some kind. I stand here this morning with some problems in my life that are the direct result of refusing to live in truth. I have talked to you many times about the financial journey Christy and I have been on – how things were so bad for us a couple years ago and how we finally disciplined ourselves to make a budget and stick to it. We did well for a long time.
See, a budget, a spending plan, is a tool that forces you to live in truth. When it comes to money, many of us don’t want to live in truth. We’d rather not know how bad things are. We’d rather not know we don’t have any money. We’d rather not face the fact that we’re overspending and financing ourselves into oblivion. We’d rather go out and enjoy the short-term good feelings of acquiring than live a more disciplined and frugal life. You and I have these denial mechanisms in our lives that are always standing at the door, always ready to kick in and provide excuses to justify whatever behaviors or attitudes we want to indulge in. When it comes to your finances, living on a budget keeps that from happening. The budget keeps truth in your face, keeps the numbers at the front of your mind.
And sometimes truth hurts. Reality usually isn’t as comfortable as our fantasies. In my fantasies, I can stash away enough money to send my kids to college. I can move out of the starter home we live in and into something a bit more spacious where my two youngest girls can have their own room and where we would have more space to entertain. In reality, Christy and I have student loans that are equivalent to owning an extra house. In reality, we’ll pay on these loans, and pay, and pay, and pay, and pay, and most of our disposable income will be used for that purpose for decades. So the truth is that in spite of the fact that between the two of us we bring in a comfortable income, things will continue to feel very tight for a very long time, no matter how well we manage our resources. That’s reality. That’s truth. And that stinks. And sometimes I get discouraged with truth and I want to live in my fantasies (falsehood) where I have more flexibility and can do more things for my family. And so a few months ago, I just took my hands off the wheel. I stopped entering receipts and tracking our spending. I didn’t stop completely – then it would have been more obvious to me that I was in denial of reality, ignoring the truth. So I tinkered a little bit – enough to convince myself that I had a handle on things. But I ignored what the numbers were telling me and Christy and I both did our thing.
And I have spent quite a bit of time this week figuring out how I’m going to get us out of the darkness that descended when I decided that I didn’t want to live in truth for a few months. We’ll get it done. In fact we’ll be back on our feet in just a few months. But my whole family will bear the weight of my mistakes, because I didn’t want to live in truth. When you refuse to live in truth, the result will be darkness of some kind. And the longer you live in falsehood, the darker your life will become.
Let’s think of some examples right here in this room. See I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not the only one who sometimes doesn’t want to deal with the truth. And I realize this message won’t apply to everyone equally in this room today, but I’ll bet it applies to a lot of us in many different ways.
In this room right now I’ll bet there’s a least one woman who uses sex to get love. The truth is that you feel lousy about it, but you keep telling yourself you need to live in the real world and everybody does it. So you keep running into the truth over and over again – it appears as your broken spirit and broken heart.
In this room right now I’ll bet there’s a couple that, despite how many times I’ve stood here and suggested marriage counseling, has still been unwilling to tell the truth to themselves about their situation. Maybe it’s just the husband, or just the wife. But the truth isn’t being told or isn’t being heard. And as a result, things in the relationship never get better. You continue to feel the effects of living at odds with the truth.
I know that in this room right now are those who identify with what I was saying earlier about money. The truth is that you are terrible money managers, you don’t have a budget or spending plan, you spend more every month than what you earn, and you are going further and further into debt every day. This is freaky, so to make you feel better, what do you do? You spend more money, eyes tightly closed to reality, ears tightly closed to the truth of the foolish way you are living. The day will come when you can no longer deny the truth and if you allow truth to force itself on you, the pain will be severe. You need to wake up and come out of that darkness.
I know that in this room right now are parents who see their kids living in ways that are out of control, or going down roads that are questionable. But instead of intervening and rocking the boat, they tell themselves, “All the kids are doing it.” “We don’t want to be too uptight.” And so you let your daughters dress provocatively, or you let your sons be aggressive with their mother and with women. If you do not wake up and face truth, one day you will feel the pain of mistakes made by your children that you maybe could have prevented if you were willing to go out on a limb. I urge you to wake up and face the truth.
I know that in this room right now is the man (or woman) who hasn’t faced the truth about how their job is keeping them from their family and wrecking the most valuable thing they have.
I know that in this room right now is a spouse who is chronically unhappy because of something the other spouse is doing, but in order to keep the water smooth, they just continue on in misery and unhappiness every day. They won’t face the truth, and they won’t ask their spouse to face the truth. Fear has them paralyzed.
See, when we deny the truth, we get to live in a state that I call “artificial harmony.” It’s a state where things feel okay, but they’re not. Something is really wrong under the hood, below the surface, and you don’t want to face it, so you smooth it over and act like everything’s alright. And when your heart cries out from time to time, you silence it with destructive habits like indulging in pornography, or fantasizing about having another spouse, or getting lost in work, or spending more money, or gossiping. Believe me, I know. I just finished facing the consequences of my flirtation with falsehood, and I stand here squinting with the light of truth in my eyes. We need to live in truth. And that takes guts. At the close of 2007, I’m suggesting we do some truth-telling. Yeah, I could preach “Taking Stock” again and have you evaluate your lives over this past year, but what I really want to focus on is how you go into this next year. I want you to go into it armed with the truth. When I see marriages falling apart, someone is usually not telling the truth. When I see people engaging in dangerous behaviors, someone isn’t telling the truth. When I see people not saying things that need to be said, they are not living in truth, but in fear. When people live in artificial harmony, there may be harmony, but there is no truth. And truth is what you will eventually run into one way or another.
I have preached sermons at this time of year before encouraging you to take stock of your life over the past year. This year is a bit different. Right now I want to ask you one simple, but powerful, question. What are you trying not to know? What is that thing in your life, that if you stopped denying and making excuses, would bust into your life and demand a change, demand that you bring your life into line with reality?
What are you trying not to know? I’m convinced that we will never find God until we face the truth. And I’m convinced that we will only find God to the degree that we face the truth. “I’m a sinner and I need God.” That’s truth. “I’m John Doe and I’m an alcoholic.” That’s truth. “I’m Jane Doe and I give sex to get love.” That’s truth. “I’m a compulsive spender because I’m unhappy in my marriage.” That’s truth. “I spend out of control because I don’t want to be accountable to anyone for how I spend my money.” That’s truth. “I’m a passive parent that is allowing my children to get too close to the edge because I want their approval.” That’s truth. “I haven’t committed to the church because I don’t want to face the truth about my life.” That’s truth!
The guy in the video said truth isn’t something you find, it’s something you make. But you don’t make truth! If you could make truth, then you could do whatever you want to do without consequences. Maybe you’ve created a “truth” that says that free, unprotected sex should be the rule for all humanity. But the truth is that that’s dangerous emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially, and the truth will eventually force itself upon you if you don’t choose to observe it. The truth is that you don’t get to create truth for yourself – you just get to choose whether to observe it or run into the consequences of denial.
So this past year, what have you been trying not to know? What have you invested a great deal of effort into not admitting to yourself or someone else? Here’s truth. It’s Sunday. Most of us are here because we are looking for God, or looking for more of God. And I’m convinced we will never find God until we face the truth. And we will only find God to the degree that we face the truth. “I’m a sinner and I need God” is just the beginning. The very beginning.
I want to use three texts from the Bible to flesh this out this morning, and I want to look at the first two together.
John 1:9 (NLT)
The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.
John 14:6 (NIV)
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life...
This word true/truth comes up in both of these verses, one saying the true light (Jesus) was coming into the world, and the other one where Christ declares himself the truth.
If Christ is the truth, then it only makes sense that we can only come to know him better as we become more and more open to truth in our lives. The more we make our home in darkness (denial, unreality, lies, etc.), the less we can know him. Jesus said, “I am the truth.” People who say they want God in their lives are saying, in effect, that they want truth in their lives.
One passage of scripture says, “God is light – in him is NO DARKNESS AT ALL.”
It surprises me how many Christians would say they know Christ as the light, and as the truth, and yet invest a great deal of energy keeping important areas of their lives in the dark and telling lies to themselves and/or others. Listen. We will never find God until we face the truth. And we will only find God to the degree that we face the truth about ourselves.
John 3:19-21 (The Message)
19-21"This is the crisis we’re in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God. Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won’t come near it, fearing a painful exposure. But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is."
What’s the crisis we’re in? God-light (truth) streamed into the world but people don’t want to live in the light! My friends, we cannot miss this. People don’t to live in the light!
Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion…” Evil comes from an addiction to denial and illusion. Evil comes from not telling ourselves the truth about our lives. Evil comes from denying things and refusing to see reality. I see marriages falling apart because of denial and illusion. I see individuals compromising their integrity because of denial and illusion. I see people stumbling around in spiritual darkness without God, trying to convince themselves they’re fine and don’t need God.
A friend recently said to me, “When I come to church, all I need is to be told God loves me no matter how much I screw up.” And I thought, “No – that’s all you THINK you need. You really need a great deal more than that.” My friends, we all need to know God loves us, but we need a great deal more than that. We need to know that because God loves us, we can, should, and MUST be willing to look at the truth about ourselves. We must be willing to give up our denial and our illusions about ourselves. We must be willing to live in light, live in truth in our marriages, our jobs, our friendships, and in our church.
“Anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light.” God is what? God is light, God is truth. If you are not working and living in truth and reality, you cannot welcome the work God wants to do in your life. And if you do not welcome the work God wants to do in your life, you are not living in truth and reality.
What does this mean? This means if you give sex to get love, you must admit it. Step out of your denial. Stop making excuses for your sin. Confess it to God. Turn your life around and live differently.
It means if you are in a marriage that is in trouble, admit it. Get help. Stop acting like it’ll get better if you ignore it. That doesn’t honor God. It keeps God-light from streaming into your marriage. Give up your denial and your illusions about your spouse. If your spouse won’t go to counseling with you, go alone. Just because he/she refuses to live in truth doesn’t mean you have to.
It means if you are having financial difficulty, stop overspending. Pull it together. Get someone to hold you accountable. Confess this to God. It’s sin to mismanage what God has given you. Heck, I’ve just confessed my sin to all of you. Try confession, it’s good for the soul. Shine the light on your sin.
It means if you have been a weak parent, wanting to be the cool buddy instead of insisting on being the firm guide, take off the blinders. Confess to God your confusion and weakness and beg him to help you guide your children along right paths no matter what the result.
It means if you have been indulging a secret sin, come clean to God and yourself about it. Tell the truth. Repent and get on the right road.
It means that if you are a workaholic, admit it. Stop calling it dedication to your job and admit that you are out of control. Stop making excuses to your family for always being gone. Stop making excuses to God for never being available. Repent of this sin in your life and go down right paths.
It means that here in these remaining hours of 2007, you call it quits on any lies you may have been telling yourself. It means you answer honestly the question, “What am I trying not to know,” and just allow yourself to know what you haven’t wanted to know. Yeah, it’ll hurt, but it’ll hurt so good. When you give up your denial and illusions, God-light can come streaming in, and there’s nothing like that, my friends. We will never find God until we face the truth. And we will only find God to the degree that we face the truth.
Let’s go into 2008 renewed, shall we? Spiritual renewal always – not sometimes but always – starts with truth-telling. There will be no renewal without honesty about our sins and illusions. Those things separate us from God. They can do nothing less, since God is truth. It feels good to hear how much God loves us, and I always want to remind you of that, but today I want to tell you that God’s love for you and me, if we are to live in it and experience it, requires that we let go of our excuses and sins and illusions and distortions and denials and the false things we embrace to make life in this world seem easier. Let’s take care of that this morning.
