Respect Authority
Ephesians 6:1-9
Great Expectations
Matthew Sullivan
You can tell what we’re going through when you come over to our house and check out the bookshelf. We’ve got James Dobson’s entire library: “Dare to Discipline”, “The Strong Willed Child”; “Parenting isn’t for Cowards.” I can’t tell you that I’ve actually read them all! We’ve got others, “How to Make Your Kids Mind, Without Losing Yours”; and (my favorite title) “You Can’t Make Me!” written by a self-professed & recovering strong willed child.
Get an idea of what life is like at our house these days? We’re trying to be good parents for our boys, and what we’re finding is that there are some challenges! I came across this list of what another parent had learned . . .
1) There is no such thing as child proofing your home. 2) Baseballs make marks on the ceiling. 3) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. 4) A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 5) The glass in windows, even double pane ones, is
not strong enough to stop a baseball that has been hit by a ceiling fan. 6) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s already too late. 7) A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a thirty six year old man says they can only do that in
the movies. 8) If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak – it explodes. 9) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.
What is it about going against rules? I mean even a child does this. You say don’t even think about eating that candy before lunch. Before that they may not have even considered eating the candy but now it’s all they can think about. I remember when we were youngsters me, my brother had some friends over to send the night. It was a weekend so our parents didn’t worry about us staying up as long as we kept the notice down and behaved ourselves. Well we got to wrestling around and got loud and woke my dad up. He came down stairs really angry. He said “If I hear another peep out of you, you’re going to get it.” He got half way back up the stairs and guess what the first sound out of my brothers mouth was, PEEP. Dad heard him and it was not good! Why is that we are so prone to rebelling against authority.
We as we continue our study from Ephesians today we want to examine the great expectation God has given us to Respect Authority. As you open your Bibles today To Ephesians 6 I want us to look at what Paul has to say to Christian’s in Ephesus about respecting authority. Remember Paul has been teaching this entire time that Christians are to think and behave different then the world and different then we did before coming to Christ. We are not doing this in order to gain salvation because salvation is a gif but we are changed because Christ saved us. We are also behaving differently in order to make a difference in the world. Last week our key verse in our relationships was verse 21. It says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This certainly applies to dealing with authority.
If we are to think and act differently it is not hard to see what we should not do. As you look at society we see problem marriages, rebellious kids, employers and employees often seeking new ways to avoid strikes. Paul solution seems to be a new heart of submission. That does not come easy for any of us.
In America today we do not like authority very much. In fact, we enjoy going against the grain and bucking the system. We love to challenge those who are in authority positions over us. But throughout the Bible we are encouraged to respect authority, rather than to fight it.
There are five different types of authority spoken of in the Bible: Divine authority - this is the authority of God. Jesus said, “All authority in heaven and on earth had been given to Him.” Civil authority – this refers to government authorities. Romans chapter 13 teaches us how we are under them and are to submit to them. Church authority – Hebrews 13 talks about submitting to your church leaders.
Our text today focuses on the final two authorities, which are Parental and Vocational.
Children Obey Parents
Ephesians 6:1 – 3, “1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Notice that this commandment does not have an age limit. As we grow older and leave home, it does not change the fact that we are to honor and respect our parents. But in a sense, we have left a little of that authority. The Bible teaches on four different occasions that “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Part of the growing up process is leaving mom and dad.
When children leave home we are not to just throw away their respect and appreciation for their parent. In fact, if the parent has lived a good Christian life and has taught their child the Word of God, then as the child grows older they will want to seek their parents for Godly advice. Children should always seek input and guidance from their parents. It is foolish not to ask advice from your parents if they have lived a good Christian life.
Children who are still living at home are under the authority of their parents. All children are instructed to “obey” their parents. Obedience is the expectation for children, with only one exception. If you were asked to do something that goes against the will of God, or to be a part of anything that does not honor God, the do not do it.
God does not want us to do anything that would go against His will. That is why we have an exception attached to this command. Paul wrote, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord.” That’s the catch: “In the Lord.” God knew that there would be parents who would not be Godly and would not raise their children with spiritual values. God knew that it is possible even for Christian parents to ask their children to go against God’s will.
Young people, if your parents ask you to lie in order to protect them, or if they encourage you to compromise your morals, or if they want you to skip church services on a regular basis, do not participate in that. Appeal to a higher authority.
Far too many adults are still in bondage to their parents. You are in bondage because of items that do not fall in the category of “in the Lord.” Your parents have manipulated you and in a sense hold you hostage to their parental authority at the expense of your love to your own family.
Make certain that you match up your parents requests with a life that honors God. Always ask, “Does this go with what God wants me to do?” “Am I doing this out of guilt or out of gratitude?” “Am I doing this out of duty or out of devotion and love?”
Young people, make sure you obey all the time when it is “in the Lord.” You lose credibility when you disobey your parents. Plus, if you are always disobedient, whenever you try to take a stand for Christ your stand won’t mean as much because you are not obedient.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” It is God’s will that you obey your parents. Paul didn’t qualify this verse by saying only obey your parents if they are perfect. Now I’m not saying for you to remind your parents of all the times they have messed up either. The Bible simply teaches that children are to obey their parents in the Lord, because this is the right thing to do.
The world rebels against authority. Your friends may make fun of adults. The government may try to take away parents authority, but if you are a Christian, be like Jesus and have a humble and respectful attitude. You might not agree with everything they do, but trust they are trying to raise you in the Lord as best they know how.
Do not take advantage of your parents. Do not see it as your life calling to make them miserable. Instead, choose to be a Christian who is distinctive. Luke 2:51 shows us that Jesus was obedient to His earthly parents. HE is our example.
The fourth verse of Ephesians 6 is given especially to fathers, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Fathers, you can make your children angry in three ways. One way is to behave a certain way at church and then act another way at home. Parents, if you choose to live by a double standard your child will pick the easier of the two. Always remember that young people are experts at spotting inconsistency and hypocrisy.
It does not matter what a parent says, if their lifestyle does not match up, if there is inconsistency, then it really doesn’t matter if you talk about morals and values. The church is full of people who went through a period in life where they rejected God, and His plan, and His church, and turned their back on Christian principles. And you know what happened? They had a child and reality hit. They wrestled with their priorities and their lifestyle. Pretty soon they found their way to church. Know why? Because little eyes were watching them. They wanted to pass faith on to the next generation.
There is another way you can provoke your children. That is to never discipline them. A parent who threatens discipline but never backs it up with discipline will face frustration day after day, week after week, month after month. Don’t think that “this is just a phase” your kids are going through. If you allow your child to disobey they will continue to disobey. And if they are allowed to disobey rather than face the consequences, why would they want to change?
Too many children hear empty threats. I’ll be walking through a grocery store and I’ll hear a parent say, “Now I’m warning you. I’m going to count to three. One, two, two and a half, I mean it, you are going to get it. OK, you just wait till your father gets home.”
It’s just threat after threat with nothing behind it. Remember that God has put you in charge of your children. You just remind the kids that you are doing your best to raise them in a way that pleases God and helps prepare them to be adults.
Teach your children that you expect and demand respect. Teach them to obey you the first time you ask them to do something. If they don’t obey, there are immediate consequences for their behavior. Anything less than obeying the first time is disobedience. It’s disobedience because it’s not according to your terms, it’s on their terms.
Proverbs 23:13 says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.” The consistency must be there. You must strive to have consistency with discipline.
There is a third way to anger your children, and that is to show no spiritual leadership at home. Fathers do not leave God out of your home.
I actually was hoping that Paul would continue talking to kids a little while longer. I was looking for the verse that says, “Children, don’t
exasperate your fathers!” THAT’S what I need to hear! Actually, not. I need to hear JUST what Paul says. God places a high responsibility on fathers. WE are to be the spiritual leaders in our families! We are to teach our children the difference between right and wrong. We are to teach our children to love God and to want to serve him. Its not the preacher’s job. Its not the youth minister’s job. Its not the Sunday School teacher’s job. Its YOURS, fathers! Paul singles out fathers here because of that awesome responsibility! Too many of our fathers have abdicated their role as leader and our kids see that. If Mom is always the one in charge, if Mom is always one who pushes everybody to do the right thing, if Mom is who they see getting everyone ready for church and reading the Bible and praying, then the kids will get the idea that Dad is a weak leader. And do you know why that is so terrible? Because when those same kids come to church they will hear us talk about God as our heavenly father.
Dads, whether you like it or not, you are the ‘offensive line’ in teaching your kids about God. You are the first impression God gets to make on them. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to love those kids and show them that you love them. Make sure that when they hear the word ‘father’, they get a good image in their mind. And if that scares you absolutely to death, as it does me and you think you aren’t up
to the task, look at the best example to help you: God is the ultimate father. And he is the role model for dads everywhere. Some of your translations may say, ‘don’t provoke your children to wrath/ anger.’ In other words, don’t push them so hard that they rebel against you and against the church! How horrible that would be! I cant’ speak judgementally here, but how many of our kids have left the church because of well-intentioned parents who just pushed too hard? I’ll be honest, this is something that scares me as a parent. Where’s the line? What do I do if my teenage son tells me he doesn’t want to go to church anymore or wants to go to another church? What do I do when my teenage daughter tells me that she doesn’t believe in God? Its something most every parent must grapple with and it depends on each individual child. Instead, we are to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Our children are the greatest responsibility
ANY of us have! They are given to us by God for only a short time. And we are given the charge to teach them. Deuteronomy says,
“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you
sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them
on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deut 6:6-9 NIV)
Dr. James Dobson says to parents that there are two things every child must know. First, your child must know that you love them unconditionally. Second, they must know that they have to obey you. Dobson goes on to say that these two truths must be transferred to God. They must know that God loves them and that God expects them to obey Him.
Parents, do you realize that you are painting a picture of what God is like for your children? That’s scary. That’s a big responsibility. And if it’s not taught to children when they are younger, it’s more difficult for them to grasp when they are older.
A preacher remembered when his daughter was two years old and he was watching her at the house. His wife was shopping and he was watching a basketball game, while he was supposed to be watching the little one. You know how that goes, as he was watching the game, all of a sudden he looked up and saw his daughter on the kitchen counter and she was slinking across acting like she was a lion. She was growling and she was way up there because the counter is kind of high. He said to his daughter, “Does your mother let you do that?” She said, “No, but you do.”
Isn’t that a wake up call? We are all guilty of giving freedom too soon. There is a tendency to give too much freedom at too young of an age because parents really want their child to like them. So they go overboard in giving them their way. They discipline like a pyramid. The base is very wide and broad. You start off giving your child all sorts of freedom, after all, you want them to be happy, you want them to like you, and the children can just do what they want.
But after two years we say, “Hey! We’ve got major problems here.” So you start pulling the reigns and the older they get the more you restrain them. You tighten it up so much that by the time they are 16 or 18, they have no freedom, nothing but restrictions. And there is a lot of tension and rebellion in the home.
But God has a different plan. His plan is an inverted pyramid. It starts when we are young and have very little freedom. There is constant teaching, repeating and reinforcing, discipline and encouraging. There are a lot of rules. But as the child matures and grows up, through their obedience they are given more responsibility because they’ve proven themselves faithful. They are given more freedom. They keep on maturing until they reach adulthood and then they have all the freedom they need because they can handle it at that time.
Often we didn’t always agree with our parents. I know I didn’t. But my parents raised me to respect and obey them. I knew that the boundaries my parents put up were their ways of showing me love and concern.
Hebrews 12:7 – 11 says, “7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
Parenting goes through stages. Don’t hurry the process or you might run into real troubles.
A minister told his 14 year old daughter that she was supposed to ride with an 18 year old to the church lock-in after the football game. The parents had a lot of confidence and trust in this 18 year old. Instead, she arrived at the lock-in an hour late. She had gone from the game to the church with a 16 year old who had just received his drivers license. When the father found out, he drove to the church and picked her up and took her home. He was so upset and worried about what could have happened and that she didn’t even call to ask for permission. His daughter said, “Dad, you don’t have to worry. God will watch out for me.” The father said, “You’re right, but He is watching out for you through me!”
Young people, trust your parents. Don’t second guess every decision they make. Obey and respect them.
The other authority that deserves our respect is…
EMPLOYEES OBEY YOUR EMPLOYERS
Ephesians 6:5 – 8, “5Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, 8because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.”
You may be wondering why this point in the sermon is labeled “employees”? Shouldn’t it be for slaves? What does this have to do with my work?
Depending on your opinion of your job, slavery might be a realistic comparison. One survey (Princeton Management Association) found that 82% of Americans hate their jobs. I don’t know if we took a poll of Christians whether or not the number would be that high, but that’s what the number is for our nation.
In the culture Paul lived in, slavery was a method of paying for debts. In some cases is was possible for a slave to have their freedom returned to them after paying their debts. This can easily apply to our work environment today. If a slave is to be in submission to a master, how much more should we if we work on our own free will and receive a pay check?
We should be respectful to our bosses. We may not agree with their lifestyle and their principles, but we should respect their position. We must work for and with them. If we come into the job with an attitude of respect and teamwork, then we have an opportunity to influence them for Jesus Christ.
One girl worked at McDonald’s. A big 6’8” Texan came up to the counter and said, “Now listen! I want half of a Big Mac!” She said, “Excuse me?” He said, “I want half of a Big Mac.” She said, “Please wait one moment. She walked back to her manager, but had no idea that he had followed her back. She told her manager, “Some guy that looks like a goof ball and is dumber than an ox wants to order half of a Big Mac.” She then looked and saw him standing right behind her. She quickly said, “And this gentleman would like to buy the other half.”
If you talk behind people’s backs, it’s going to catch up with you. So please, act respectfully. There should be a respect you carry for your superiors. It’s not a trembling fear, but it is a realization that they are in charge. So don’t ridicule or undermine their authority behind their backs. Be respectful of their position.
We should work sincerely. I am very thankful that I work in the environment that I do. I realize that very few of you have this blessing that I enjoy. In fact, some of you probably work for people that are unreal in their expectations. They are unfair to you. They may even mock your faith. They may ridicule your beliefs. If you are facing that at work it is very difficult to serve sincerely.
But the challenge is to separate your work as work for a human master, and instead see your work as service for the Lord. We must have the mindset that I am providing help to people which is an honor to God.
We must also work willingly. Every employer looks for those workers who will do a little bit extra. I’ve never seen an ad in the paper that says, “Wanted, a mediocre worker who just wants to get by.” Be willing to work at your job.
Work wholeheartedly. Serve with joy. Don’t feel sorry for yourself or complain about your work, view your job as an opportunity to meet needs for others and influence them for Christ. There’s a passage in Titus 2:9 – 10 that says, “9Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, 10and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.”
Through respect and sincerity, and wholehearted willingness to serve, you can enhance people’s opinion about Jesus Christ and this church. People will notice there is something different about you, that there is something distinctive.
One employee invited his boss to church. Someone asked the boss why he actually agreed to the invitation. The man said, “If all my employees were like him, I wouldn’t have any problems at work.”
Ephesians 6:8 shows us a benefit from good work. The Lord will reward you. Paul wrote, “because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.” (Ephesians 6:8)
Paul then concludes this section with a challenge to those who are in a position of authority, those who have people that work for them. Verse 9 says, “9And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.”
There is no favoritism with God. So if you are a boss, or if you have people that answer to you, be fair. Be realistic in your expectations. Be generous. And always remember the big picture – you have a Master too.
Someday all of us will have to give an account to our Master. We cannot divide life up like a newspaper: a business section, religion section, entertainment section, or politics section. Life is not like that. Life is a spiritual expression of our beliefs. God evaluates our performance at work as part of our witness and as part of our worship!
Respecting authority is not easy. Whether it is a child obeying his parents or an employee obeying his boss, both of these responsibilities are a form of honoring a Higher Authority. Honoring authority on earth prepares us for the privilege of accepting the authority of Jesus in our lives.
Part of living the Christian life is submitting to one another. God raises the standard of that submission!
We don’t submit to our husbands because they are the man and we’ve got no choice.
We don’t submit to others because of what they’ve done for us, or what they CAN do for us.
We don’t submit to our Parents because we agree with them, or even that it may be in our best interest.
We submit to one another because by doing so, we show our reverence and respect for God!
We respect authority, because of our respect of the ultimate authority!
In Romans 13, Paul writes,
1 Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. (NIV)
Have you submitted to that ultimate authority this morning? Is Jesus Christ the Lord of your life? Have you allowed him to re-order your priorities, yet? If you haven’t we encourage you to do so this morning!
