Twelve Steps To Recovery Part 4
Scripture: Nehemiah 9:34-38; 2 Corinthians 7:8-11; Revelations 20:11-15
Introduction
To date in this series we have discussed the first three steps in the twelve step process. We began by admitting that we were powerless over our dependencies and that there was a God greater than ourselves who could restore us to sanity. After reaching that point, in step three we made the decision to turn our lives over to the care of God. This was a conscious choice and made freely. Having made the first three steps, we are ready to move on to step four. In step four we make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. If you have not picked up on this yet, this whole process is one where each person must deal with themselves. Your restoration cannot rest on how anyone else completes the steps, it rests on you. Step four takes it up a notch because having decided to turn our life over to God; we are ready to pull back the layers to expose the filth that lies underneath. In step four, we dig deep to uncover what is within us that has such a strong hold on our lives. To accomplish this, we must do it without the fear of what will be uncovered – whatever we find is what we must deal with.
I. Soul Searching – The Family Influence
As we begin our soul searching we cannot over look the impact that our family has had on us. Our family origin has had an influence on who we are today. Some of us would rather pretend that our family was, or is, perfect while others of us may tend to avoid the responsibility for our actions by blaming our actions on our family. Whatever the case, when we think about our own life, we also need to deal with our family and the effects its members have had on who we are today. Let me give you an example. Several years ago I watch the movie “The Nutty Professor” starring Eddie Murphy. If you have seen the movie, I want you to think about the Klump family. Everyone in that family was overweight, even the grandmother. Being overweight in that family was considered healthy yet Sherman (the “nutty professor” played by Eddie Murphy) was trying to find a cure for being overweight. There was one scene in the movie where they were all sitting around the dinner table. In this scene there was this overweight kid whose mother referred to his fatness as muscles. The kid made a muscle to which his mother smiled and clapped her hands while screaming “Hercules, Hercules, Hercules!” This kid thought his being fat was normal since everyone in the family was fat. If this was a “real” family, this kid would probably spend his whole life grossly overweight because of being addicted to food and overeating. His family would wholeheartedly support his addiction because they caused it and suffered from the same addiction. Are you starting to see the impact that family has on our addictions?
In the book of Nehemiah there is a wonderful story of the children of Israel doing a deep soul searching of their lives. In Nehemiah chapter nine, when the Jewish nation returned from exile, they confessed their sins. But here is the kicker, as you read the chapter; they confessed not only their sins, but the sins of their ancestors who were already dead. You see, they blamed their ancestors (rightfully so) for their captivity and the difficult situation they were facing. In this chapter, they recant all of the things God did for their ancestors when He brought them up out of Egypt, fulfilling every promise that He had made to them. They also confessed that at every opportunity, those same ancestors chose to turn their backs on God and sin. Look at Nehemiah 9:34-38.
“For our kings, our leaders, our priests and our fathers have not kept Thy law. Or paid attention to Thy commandments and Thine admonitions with which Thou hast admonished them. But they, in their own kingdom, with thy great goodness which thou didst give them, with the broad and rich land which Thou didst set before them, did not serve Thee or turn from their evil deeds. Behold, we are slaves today, and as to the land which Thou didst give to our fathers to eat of its fruit and its bounty, behold we are slaves on it. And its abundant produce is for the kings whom Thou hast set over us because of our sins; they also rule over our bodies and over our cattle as they please, so we are in great distress. Now because of all this we are making an agreement in writing; and on the sealed document are the names of our leaders, our Levites and our priests.”
In these verses the children of Israel did some soul searching and came to the conclusion that their current situation was not God’s fault, and really not their fault, but that of their ancestors. They were living out the results of the sins of their ancestors. They came to God and admitted the truth, He had been faithful, they had not been. As it was then, our addictions carry long term impact on our ancestors. Depending on our addictions, the impact on our children and subsequently our grandchildren on down the line can be devastating. You have all heard of the “generational curse” that is past down from one generation to the next, but it really is not a curse. What it is is an addiction that has not been dealt with that has become a living part of that family and will remain that way until someone stands up and says “enough!” This is what the children of Israel were doing when they returned from exile. They did a soul searching of their lives and said “enough!” It is all right to admit the truth about what brought us into bondage. This might very well involve the wrongs committed by our parents and other family members. It is perfectly all right to express our anger and regret over what has been done to us. We have a right to hold others accountable and grieve over the negative effects their actions have had on our life. That is all part of the real picture. However, and this is crucial, it is not all right to use this as an excuse for our wrong choices and staying in bondage. Our relatives may be partly responsible for bringing us to this point, but we are responsible for moving on to a better place for ourselves and our family. The children of Israel came to this realization – they could easily have chosen to remain in exile and rebellion against God because of their ancestors, but they did not. What they did was acknowledge the faithfulness and goodness of God; their own sins and those of their ancestors; and made provisions to come back into harmony with God through their obedience to His law.
II. Soul Searching Is Painful!
There will be times when we all must come face to face with what is within us and that time is now. This reality check can cause pain and downright sorrow, especially when it is being called out by someone else. It is painful when someone else points out our short comings, especially when we have been ignoring or justifying them. This is the way it is with our addictions. We may try to hide or ignore it or worse giving in to them. Until we recognize them for what they are, they will not only remain hidden, but they will also remain an active part of our lives. When we begin to do a sincere soul searching of ourselves as required in step four, it can be very painful. Consider the situation Paul found himself in when he address some “issues” of some of the people of Corinth.
“For though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it – for I see that that letter caused you sorrow, though only for a while, I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, in order that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this Godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong. In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter.” 2 Corinthians 7:8-11
I have been in this same situation that Paul found himself in. You also may have found yourself in a similar situation – where you told someone the truth in love about what they were doing and they became angry and hurt that you shared it. Although you feel bad for the person, you knew that what you said needed to be said in order for that person to grow in Christ. Now understand I am not talking about your telling someone off to make yourself feel good, I am talking about when you truly share something with someone about themselves in hope that they will not only receive it, but act on it. In the verses above, Paul had obviously written a letter to the church in Corinth calling them out on something that they were doing wrong. When the people of Corinth read what Paul had written, they became sad. Now you must consider the fact that Paul was going out on a limb here. Paul, as was the other apostles, was supported by the Churches they started. When he called them out, the church of Corinth could have easily cut off sending him any missionary support. This is so critical today for we have a lot of pastors refusing to speak what God is saying to their congregation because they do not want to offend the money givers. God is not pleased with this attitude.
In Paul’s situation, although that could have been the outcome, it was not. The church in Corinth became sorrowful and instead of turning against Paul for calling them out, they repented. Initially Paul was sorry that he had hurt them, but when he realized what they had done (their repentance) he became glad. He said that this is the type of sorrow that God wants us to experience because it will lead us away from our sin. As we begin step 4, we start to take a serious, fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This inventory tells us where we are as it pertains to right and wrong. Are we justifying our wrongs so that we can continue to “feel” right? Do we really believe that wrong is wrong and right is right? The answer we find, just as some in the church in Corinth, can cause us to become sorrowful. Will that sorrow lead to repentance depends on whether or not we truly want to be free of our addictions. The Corinthians’ grief was good; it came from honest self-evaluation, not morbid self-condemnation. Before I close out this session, I want you to think about what Paul said in verse 10. He said “For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation; but the sorrow of the world produces death.”
Consider the statement about the sorrow that produces repentance without regret. If there can be repentance without regret, there can be repentance with regret. The heart of what we are all dealing with comes down to our having repentance without regret. When we come face to face with our addictions and/or sins, whatever they may be, if we repent from them, if we are doing it God’s way, there is no regret. However, when we repent because it is the right thing to do, yet we wish we were still doing it, then that repentance comes with regret. As we look at step four, when we begin examining ourselves and calling our addictions exactly what they are, we have a choice. We can repent from them and be glad to be coming more in line with God or we can repent from them and regret doing so. When we repent from something while regretting doing so, we leave room for a return to that which we walked away from.
III. Why We Need To Do Some Soul Searching
Although we know that our families have had some responsibility for some of our addictions, we cannot use that as an excuse to remain in our condition. Although our soul searching can be painful, we must go through this process if we are to come to a place of full restoration. It is normal to want to hide from personal examination, I have personal experience with this feeling, but it must be done. Even if we never do it here on earth, the day will come when we will have to face them and the complete truth about our life. The Bible tells us there is a day coming when an inventory will be made of every life. No one will be able to hide. Let me share with you what John saw in his vision: “And I saw a great white throne and Him who sat upon it, from whose presence earth and heaven fled away and no place was found for them. And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and books were opened; and another book was open, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged from the things which were written in the books according to their deeds. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it and death and Hades gave up the dead which were in them; and they were judged, every one of them according to their deeds. And death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.”
Revelations 20:11-15
I cannot control what you believe for that rests between you and God. But what I can share with you from His word is that a day is coming when we all will stand before Him. The second death involves being cast into the lake of fire and if our names are not found in the book, we will experience the second death. Some of our addictions are keeping our names out of the book. We prefer to invest in our short term addictions versus our long term security. You see if you live to be 200 years old and you carry your addictions for the whole 200 years that is a very short time compared to eternity. Everything we do here on earth is an investment, one way or another, into our long term retirement account. You have two options as to where you can retire; the weather can always be beautiful or it can always be extremely hot – the choice is ours. If we honestly take step four and take a searching and fearless moral inventory of our lives, we begin making positive investments into our eternal retirement.
Step Four Conclusion
I know that taking this step can be extremely scary and in some cases difficult, but we must do it. God is able to help us through this process. It is best to do our own earthly moral inventory now so we can be ready for the one to come. Anyone whose name is in the Book of Life will be saved, including all whose sins have been atoned for by the death of Jesus. Those who refuse God’s offer of mercy are left to be judged on the basis of their own deeds recorded in “the books.” No one will past that test. This is the time to ensure that our names are in the book. It does not matter how bad your life is or how bad it was, God has enough mercy to cover it all. If we accept His mercy, when we begin to do our soul searching we know that whatever we find, God is greater. All we will need to do is confess what we find to Him and allow Him to help us remove it from our live which brings us to step number five.
May God bless and keep you is my prayer.
