Thou shalt not commit adultery.
When we looked at the commandment not to commit murder, we saw that Jesus took this command and warned that murder was an act of the heart even if we did not carry out the physical act. Jesus has also taken adultery and pointed directly to our hearts as well. Look at Matthew 5:27-29
7 " You have heard that it was said to those of old, ’You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
This warning cuts to the heart. How many times have you heard men say things like, “There is nothing wrong with looking as long as you don’t act”? Is this true? Our hearts and minds are the battleground for temptation. You cannot be tempted in this area unless you allow yourself to be drawn with your eyes. Look at this passage from James 1:14-16
14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.
We are drawn away when we see temptation and do not turn away. When King David was drawn into adultery with Bathsheba, it was not a surprise attack by Satan. He looked down from his rooftop and saw a woman bathing. Instead of turning away, David took the lust for her into his heart and there his wicked desire was conceived. Because David allowed that desire to grow into lust, it gave birth to sin and sin led to more sin and before he realized what was happening, David’s flesh was driving him and he was no longer being led by God’s Spirit. David committed a chain of sins that he never thought he would commit. In fact, he resisted many of these things throughout his life, but in a moment of compromise, he gave place to the Devil and quickly his life and spiritual condition was out of control.
The Spirit of God calls and leads us, but does not force our obedience. God leads and calls us to follow. When temptation arises, God has promised that He will always make a way for us to escape. When temptation is present, two voices will always be calling. One calls for us to follow and one lures us toward captivity. Proverbs 9 gives a wonderful description of these two voices. Look at Proverbs 9:1-6
Wisdom has built her house, She has hewn out her seven pillars; 2 She has slaughtered her meat, She has mixed her wine, She has also furnished her table. 3 She has sent out her maidens, She cries out from the highest places of the city, 4 "Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!" As for him who lacks understanding, she says to him, 5 "Come, eat of my bread And drink of the wine I have mixed. 6 Forsake foolishness and live, And go in the way of understanding.
The Spirit of God’s wisdom calls us to forsake foolishness and live as God leads us into the way of understanding. We are called by faith to follow God’s instructions and if we hold on to wisdom, we will find the way of understanding, gain knowledge, find the path of life, will receive honor and obtain all the promises of God. The call of wisdom does not offer instant gratification for the flesh, but the hope of the promises of God. Proverbs 9 also warns that the voice of temptation competes with the voice of wisdom as we are called to come to sin. Look at Proverbs 9:16-18
16 "Whoever is simple, let him turn in here"; And as for him who lacks understanding, she says to him, 17 "Stolen water is sweet, And bread eaten in secret is pleasant." 18 But he does not know that the dead are there, That her guests are in the depths of hell.
Temptation promises secret pleasure and a sweet experience, but the end result is bondage and death. Proverbs 7 describes a foolish man who followed the flattering words of an adulterer who promised him pleasure. The Bible describes this man as “a bird that hastens to a snare and does not know that it is for his life”. How do you lure animals into traps? To lure a mouse into a trap you bait it with something the mouse desires. A bird hurries to the snare because the bird sees something desirable and rushes to get it. Lust is the same way. Satan lays the trap but Satan has no power over you. He only promises that you will have great pleasure if you will turn your heart and mind over to your flesh. Look at Romans 6:
16 Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness?
God sets us free from sin and then calls us to follow with a willing mind. Sin calls us to submit ourselves back to our flesh so that we can be brought back under bondage. Sin cannot have dominion over us; we have to submit ourselves to sin. You present yourself to obey sin which will always seek to put you back under bondage or you submit yourself to God and become a bondservant to righteousness. A slave is someone who cannot be free but a bondservant is someone who submits themselves to a master and willingly becomes a slave. Throughout the New Testament the Christian life is compared to becoming a bondservant. Sin seeks to rule over us, but the Spirit of God seeks to lead those who will willingly follow.
Battle of the Flesh.
I have used this passage in many studies but it is good to constantly be reminded of the battle between the flesh and the Spirit. This war is fought in the mind. Look at Romans 7:22-23
22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
We are commanded not to give place to the devil. If we receive anything of the flesh, we are giving place to the devil and he will use our weaknesses of the flesh to launch attacks against our minds in an attempt to bring us under subjection. The sin that dwells in our flesh craves to be gratified. The Bible warns that if we live according to the flesh we will die and we have already seen that those who walk according to the flesh cannot please God. This battle never ends and we must guard our heart with all diligence (Proverbs 4:23). The mind is the battleground to the heart and the eye is the battleground to the mind. Look at Job 31:1
I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman?
Look at the life of Job. His purity set him apart from everyone and God constantly affirmed the faith of Job. If you look at the book of Job, the trial of Job began by God saying to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?” Each time Satan was allowed to afflict Job, God followed up the trial by asking this question again to emphasized to Satan that Job remained faithful and held to the things of God. Fortunately for us, Job revealed one of the keys to his faithfulness – the covenant with his eyes. Adultery cannot happen without lust and lust cannot happen if your eyes are on the Lord. You must look at temptation before you can be drawn away and enticed.
We often forget the importance of our smaller actions. Can we gaze at the things intended for lust and not be affected? Commercials, magazine ads, billboards, shows and websites strive to lure us in by sex appeal. We are fed the lie that we can look but not touch, but the fact is that we don’t have to touch in order to commit adultery in our hearts. These temptations will never go away in this life, but they can lose their impact if we will make a covenant with our eyes not to even look upon a woman. This, of course does not apply to our spouses for it is not possible to commit adultery with your own spouse. I have heard some teachers claim that men should not lust after their own wives. This is a completely ignorant statement for lust is desiring something you do not have. The Bible says that a wife is a gift from the Lord; therefore, if God has given you a gift, He will never call that gift lust. The Bible clearly says that no one is tempted by God and that every gift of God is good. Lust is desiring things that God has not given us but marriage is an ordinance created by God that is holy.
God warns us that we are not to live in the flesh and walk according to the flesh, but we are called to walk in holiness. Without holiness (setting ourselves apart for God) no one will see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14). Look also at Galatians 5:19-21
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Take note that the first four warnings are related to our sexual desires. I have heard people ask, “Why is the Bible so obsessed with sex?” The answer is simple, “Because mankind is so obsessed with sex”. You cannot walk up to a magazine rack without getting bombarded with sexual images on both the women and men’s magazines. Satan has taken this gift of God and turned it into a weapon that is very effective against both men and women who do not set their eyes and minds on the things of God. God has given us the power to overcome, but we must set our minds on the things above as we guard our eyes, minds and hearts.
Breaking the Covenant of Marriage
Jesus warned that we can commit adultery by lusting in our heart, but violating to covenant of marriage is also adultery. We all know that cheating on our spouses is adultery, but Jesus explained how divorce plays a role in this commandment. Look at Matthew 19
9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
In this passage Jesus is addressing the self-centered belief system of the Pharisees. It was a common practice that if their wives did not please them, they would just give her a writing of divorcement and send her away. They took the union of marriage and made it into a self-centered practice so that a wife had to work to maintain their favor or be cast away. In their system, the burden was on the woman, but not on the man. In this passage, the Pharisees asked if it was lawful to divorce their wives for ‘any reason’. We don’t know what Jesus said that led up to this question, but He obviously touched on a nerve. They found a loophole in the law of Moses where they believed that marriage was about pleasing the husband at all times. If she failed, they just put her away. Jesus also noted that the provision of divorce was never God’s plan but was given as the result of the hardness of the hearts of God’s people.
Even though divorce was given as an option, it does not come without consequences. In Malachi 2:16, God declares that He hates divorce and now Jesus is declaring that even though divorce is an option, it does not break the covenant. A man is still bound by covenant to his wife and the wife is still bound by covenant to her husband as long as they live. If the husband and the wife cannot learn to live in harmony because one or both cannot give up their self-centered lives, God allows for divorce. They may remain separated or they can reconcile (1 Corinthians 7:11), but the covenant remains regardless of the declaration of divorce. The hardness of our heart does not nullify the covenant we have entered. A covenant is more than a promise, but is an oath before God that man cannot break. The covenant is not only to each other, but is a union between a man and woman that God joins together. Look at Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19:4-6
4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ’made them male and female,’ 5 "and said, ’For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
The translation into English can be a little unclear. The word ‘let’ is not in the original text. The literal text states ‘no man separate’. A covenant is agreed to by both the man and the woman before God. God then joins the two into one flesh and man cannot separate what God has joined. Only God has the right to nullify a covenant made with Him. If you look at the covenants in the Bible you can clearly see that once a covenant is made, man cannot annul it. Even when someone was deceived into making a covenant, they were still bound. This is why we should not take lightly the decision to enter into the covenant of marriage.
God warned Israel not to enter into any covenants with the people of the land He was giving them, but the Gibeonites came to Joshua and pretended to be from a far country and asked to enter a covenant of peace. Israel did not seek the Lord before making a decision and they entered the covenant (Joshua 9). When they found out that they were inhabitants of the land that they were warring against, they were required to allow them to remain. Hundreds of years later, King Saul tried to break the covenant and destroy the Gibeonites and God judged Israel (2 Samuel 21). God did not lift judgment from Israel until King David made peace with these people and they accepted the terms.
In our western culture, we take covenant breaking lightly because we view everything from a legal perspective. The Bible strictly warns us not to make covenants or swear oaths in order to prevent us from falling into judgment. The only New Testament exception is the covenant of marriage. Marriage is a covenant, ordained by God and upheld by God. We can divorce, but we cannot break that covenant.
Breaking the Covenant of Marriage
I said that man cannot break that covenant, but God can and the Bible gives two very specific exceptions. I am going to get myself in trouble here because I side with the Bible which is contrary to the common church thought on this issue. The subject of divorce is a sacred cow and if you touch sacred cows, church folks get very upset. There are about three to four main pet beliefs that if you go against the common thought, the average church will reject you. Even though certain topics are not essential Christian doctrine, tradition has elevated them to essential and when tradition is crossed, the teacher along with the specific message draws harsh emotions. In many denominations divorce is one of these hot button topics. Even so, it does not matter what I believe or what any denomination believes – the doctrine, reproof, correction and instruction in righteousness comes from the word of God alone. The temptation is to avoid the scriptures that cause controversy, but this is one of those times when we would be unfaithful to the word of God if we avoided these passages. Since Jesus introduced the subject, we must honor what the word says on this subject.
I have already stated previously that man cannot break the covenant of marriage for the union of two people becoming one flesh is of God. What God has joined together, man cannot separate. Our foolish actions cannot destroy the work of God. We can rebel against His work, but we cannot overcome it. The breaking of the covenant is not because someone’s sin destroyed the work of God, but God protecting and showing mercy to the one who has remained faithful. Look again at Jesus’ teaching on divorce in Matthew 19
9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
Do not overlook the fact that Jesus said ‘except for sexual immorality’. Jesus answered the Pharisees objection by making it clear that divorcing a wife for any reason was permissible if the hardness of their heart demanded this option, but divorce does not break the covenant of marriage. Since the covenant was still intact for God alone joins the two into one and our insistence on divorce does not release us from that covenant, we are still obligated to remain faithful to our spouse under that covenant. Anyone who marries another is committing adultery. The only options God has given is that we either live apart within the requirements of that covenant or we are reconciled to each other. The only exception is an unfaithful spouse. Divorce does not break the covenant, but God releases us from that covenant when our spouse is living an immoral lifestyle and is already committing adultery outside of the marriage.
Many church traditions hold the innocent spouse guilty when the other has destroyed the marriage with infidelity, but God does not hold us accountable. God has given us clear instructions to avoid putting our spouses in the path of temptation. Look at 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
If we have been faithful and obedient to follow God’s direction for marriage and our spouse is still unfaithful, God does not hold us accountable for our spouse’s infidelity. It is wrong for the church to hold someone accountable for something outside of their control when God has stated otherwise. It is Jesus who taught this principle and if we are to be faithful to the word, we cannot exclude this instruction even if it contradicts with many of our traditional beliefs that have been adopted by the church through man-made regulations. The Bible also provides another exception. Let’s first look at the binding covenant of marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Most people already understand that the covenant of marriage is broken when one partner passes away, so this is not the point I want you to see in this passage. I want to bring your attention to the bond of marriage. A wife is bound by law as long as the husband is alive. We know this bond works both ways for Jesus made it clear that anyone who divorces his wife and remarries has committed adultery as well. This bond is reiterated in Romans 7:2-3
2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.
The word ‘bound’ is the Greek word ‘deo’ {deh’-o}. This word means to tie together or bind under the law. It also means to bind with chains. The meaning is clear – marriage is an iron-clad, binding agreement that cannot be annulled by man. Since the covenant of marriage is joined (or bound) by God, He is not under subjection to our legal decree of divorce. God will only break this bond according to His word and it is not subject to the hardness of our hearts. Now look at this passage from 1 Corinthians 7:12-16
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
Paul is giving his opinion that each new Christian should use their marital relationship to win their spouse to the Lord, but this does not mean that he is going outside of God’s truth to offer this opinion. The biblical principles that form this opinion are still based on truth. Look at the word ‘bondage’ in this passage. It is the Greek word ‘douloo’ {doo-lo’-o} which comes from the root word ‘deo’. If we are honest, we have to recognize that the Bible is clearly stating that if someone becomes a believer and their spouse does not, they should first try to keep the marriage together in the hope that God will use them to win their spouse to Christ; however, if that spouse chooses to depart because they do not accept our relationship with Christ, we are not under bondage for God has called us to peace. It is not your right to depart but to make every attempt to use your relationship with your unbelieving spouse to reach them and hopefully lead them to Christ. Many times this is not possible. Sometimes an unbeliever has such a hatred for God that they will not stay with someone who serves Christ. In that case the Bible states that God breaks that bond and we are free from that covenant.
You and I have no right to break the covenant of marriage – God and God alone holds this right and He has given us two exceptions when He releases us from that covenant. If we are faithful and our spouse turns to a lifestyle of immorality, God said that we are no longer under the condemnation of adultery if we divorce and remarry. If someone marries before becoming a Christian and afterward they come to faith in Christ and their spouse rejects them, God has stated that we are no longer bound by the covenant of marriage. I believe the clearly understood principle of this is the fact that we are no longer guilty of adultery if we remarry in the Lord. You cannot break the covenant and be guiltless, but God can for He holds the right to the covenant of marriage and this covenant is bound by His word. No other exceptions are given.
This does not apply to Christians that disobey God and are unequally yoked. Consider 2 Corinthians 6:
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
If a Christian willfully breaks this commandment and marries someone outside of the faith, they have willingly entered into that covenant and are not free to break it. If you read the context of the passage of 1 Corinthians 7, the Bible is addressing new believers who have come to Christ and are now in conflict with a spouse that is of the world.
I know Christians that had spouses that fell into adultery and left the marriage. They had no control over this but now they are excluded from ministry, scorned by the church, and guilt is loaded on their shoulders. Is the faithful one guilty because their spouse was drawn by lust and decided that they want the pleasure of the world? Jesus said otherwise. I also know Christians that had unbelieving spouses depart and are now considered second-class Christians. The Bible gives us clear answers on this topic and declares that such believers are free by God’s own declaration. It is a sin to add burdens onto our brothers and sisters in Christ that are undue and unbiblical. Some are truly guilty of adultery because they have tried to separate what God has joined and then marry another. The Bible is clear that this is indeed a sin and if we do this we have broken God’s commandment. We can indeed divorce for any reason, but this cannot break the covenant that we entered at the altar before God and man. God alone can do this and has only given two exceptions. Outside of those two exceptions our only option is to reconcile to our spouse or live a celibate life.
The 10 commandments were not nullified in the New Testament and everyone is bound to the command, “Thou shalt not commit adultery”.
