Love’s Greatest Enemies
We live in a world that speaks in great volumes about love and the importance of it, as well as presenting a myriad of books and volumes of information on how to gain and maintain love. We as Christians realize that the presentation of Love from the World compared to the Love from the Word of God are 2 quite different things.
We are going to look today at a few of Love’s Greatest Enemies and bring them out in the open so that in turn we can defeat these enemies when they rear their ugly heads in our own lives, because they will quite frequently.
Let’s begin by reading what is often called, “The Love Chapter” in the Bible.
1 Cor. 13:1-13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. [2] If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. [3] If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
[4] Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. [5] It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. [6] Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. [7] It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
[8] Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. [9] For we know in part and we prophesy in part, [10] but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. [11] When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. [12] Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
[13] And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
As we read through that chapter, there are many enemies to Love, but today we are going to look at just 4 of them.
The first enemy to Love we see today is:
I. SELFISHNESS –
1 Cor. 13:5a - It is not rude, it is not self-seeking…
This might seem like an odd one to start with, but I heard something one time that kind of stuck with me when someone asked what the opposite of love is. The seemingly obvious answer is Hate, however when we really begin to look at Love, and realize at it’s essence Love is about giving of ourselves to make the life or lives of someone else better, Selfishness really does define the opposite of Love.
The greatest personal definition of love we know is Jesus Christ Himself. He did not come into this world to see what was in it for Him, and in fact came to seek the best for others around Him.
Luke 19:10 - For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."
Even when Christ was on the cross, we see that He prayed prayers of love and forgiveness for those who were gambling over His robe at the foot of the cross, and He also made sure that His mother was being cared for as He was feeling the torturous pain of the death of a criminal.
Selfishness will never be the basis for a happy marriage, working relationship, friendship, or any endeavor involving getting along with others.
One of the reasons I have been a proponent of Sports is that it creates within people the realization that for a team to be truly successful, it involves each individual performing the duties assigned to them.
In our selfishness we realize at times that the more selfish we become, the less happiness and peace we enjoy, and the more we get simply leads to wanting more and more because without love and giving at the center of our lives, we become simply a lake of stagnant water only taking in but never giving out.
We soon become trapped in our own desire to protect what “we” have earned, and the rights that “we” have garnered at the expense of others, all the time believing that we “should” be happy, but we are not.
We will talk about giving next week, but one of the things giving does for us is that it makes us just a bit more Christ each time we give of our time, talent, treasure, and yes, even give up our rights for the sake of someone else.
Jay E. Adams writes that under the roof in his back yard hangs a hummingbird feeder that he keeps filled with sugar water. There are four openings in it from which birds may suck the nectar. Yet, day after day, from early morning until after dusk, the feeder is the source of their own private version of star wars. One bird chases all the others away.
"As I said," Adams writes, "there is room for four birds at a time, and fully that number attempt to feed. But the top dog (excuse my use of this metaphor for a hummingbird!), who now ’owns’ the feeder, will not let them. All day long he sits on the branch of a nearby apricot tree guarding ’his’ feeder and defying others to transgress on what he has established as ’his’ territory.
"This ongoing slice of life confronts us throughout the day as green and red Annas hummers streak across the yard, the king hummer in hot pursuit of an intruder. While the chase is on, others sneak a sip or two, only to be driven off when he returns.
"The whole business has become a sort of parable for our family. Here is an example of grace: I bought the feeder; I supply the sugar water. The birds do not earn it; they receive it all gratis. Yet, day after day, they fight over who may enjoy it.
"How like the people of God! All we have or are that is worthwhile is the gift of God’s pure grace. And yet we are proud, self-centered, envious, and quarrelsome. Often we fight over God’s good gifts rather than expressing our gratitude in humility and sharing what we have been given with others. Just as I am confronted daily with rivalry in my yard, even so God is confronted daily with rivalry in His."
The definition of Selfish is:
devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
Anyone who has had a successful marriage for a number of years will tell you that if you are going to have the same kind of marriage, it will take a lot of love and ridding yourself of the enemy of selfishness. This past week, I had the privilege of being at the 75th Wedding Anniversary of Bob and Trudy McDaniels who were married on Feb. 14, Valentines Day 1932. I really believe this wonderful couple would tell you that if you’re going to have any kind of successful relationship, then be sure to fight the enemy of selfishness to it’s death, and allow the Love of God to come alive.
This is the kind of love that puts yourself in the shoes of the other and considers the needs that they have, as well as many of the battles they may be struggling with that you haven’t taken the time to either consider or assist them with.
A cold wind was howling and a chilling rain was beating down when the telephone rang in the home of a doctor. The caller said that his wife needed urgent medical attention. The doctor was understanding. "I’ll be glad to come, but my car is being repaired," he said. "Could you come and get me?" There was indignation at the other end of the phone as an angry voice sputtered, "What, in this weather?"
The Second Enemy of Love we are looking at today is:
II. ENVY –
4] Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Several years ago, Millard Fuller of Habitat for Humanity held a workshop at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary with 200 pastors in attendance. The assembled pastors quickly identified greed and selfishness as the reason the church often doesn’t have enough money to assist others in need.
Millard then asked a seemingly innocent question. "Is it possible for a person to build a house so large that it’s sinful in the eyes of God? Raise your hand if you think so."
All 200 pastors raised their hands.
"Okay," said Millard, "then can you tell me at exactly what size, the precise square footage, a house becomes sinful to occupy?"
The pastors were silent. Finally, a quiet voice spoke up from the back of the room. "When it’s bigger than mine."
How much truth rings through in that little story! The enemy of Envy rears it’s ugly head in the lives of people on a daily basis regardless of what kind of relationship they may find themselves in.
Envy will cut down on the desire to “rejoice when another rejoices” and “weep when another weeps”, but envy will cause the person with this type of spirit to “rejoice when another weeps”, and “weep when another rejoices”.
On the job, there may be 10 employees of equal pay and equal responsibility, and who equally find a way to dish out their share of criticism for the tyrannical Supervisor who is over them demanding things of them and supposedly treating them unfairly. Their unity is often based on their dislike for that Supervisor. Then one day, the boss retires, and 1 of those 10 employees is promoted to take the position of Supervisor, and looks around for all the high fives and congratulations, yet finds only empty stares. What happened? Are the people the same? For sure, but something called “Envy” now enters the picture, and before long, the new Supervisor becomes the object of criticism while the 9 begin training the new 10th employee in the ways of Envy.
Brethren and Sisteren! These things ought not to be!
Romans 12:15 - Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Envy led Cain to kill Abel because his offering was not accepted by God as Abel’s was.
Envy led the brothers of Joseph to sell him into slavery.
Envy led Saul to make numerous attempts on the life of young David, and left alone to grow it became the downfall of his Kingdom and his life.
Envy led the disciples to ask the Lord who was going to be the greatest among them in the coming Kingdom.
Envy can even enter into a marriage relationship as the husband or wife seems to gain a greater degree of success and prestige. How tragic when partners cannot rejoice at the success of each other. How tragic when the marriage relationship is filled with put-downs and cuts into the life of the partner whether it be to their face of “just sharing” with friends. Honestly, I’ve heard at times how some people talk about their spouse to other people, and realize that if they talk about their spouse God gave them in that way, then you and I better look out when we become the topic of conversation!
So, another one of Love’s Greatest Enemies is Envy. Let’s do our best to rid ourselves of it in our marriages, relationships, in the church and on our jobs.
For the next point, I’ve called in a couple by the name of Paul and Nicole who are going to present a video presentation of “The Ledger People” – So, the next one of Love’s Greatest Enemies we are going to look at is:
Link to "Ledger People" Resource:
http://www.footstoolplayers.com/productions3.htm
III. SCOREKEEPING
[5] It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Our world is obsessed with keeping score. From frequent flyer programs to coffee cards, to movie-rental stores, companies are tallying our business by the point system. One advertisement for a credit card offering airline mileage showed a dozen long-stemmed roses and asked this question: “Was he sorry, or was it the miles?”
In other words, the kind of love God wants us to have is not a score-keeping kind of love, whether it be of wrong things, or right things!
So we see today, the problem with keeping score is that it really has a lot to do with unrealistic expectations, and especially within the context of the marriage relationship, it keeps us from expressing the kind of Agape or unconditional love God wants us to express. Not the kind of love that says, I love you IF, I’ll love you WHEN, but the kind of Love that says “I’ll love you. PERIOD!”
So, after we have taken a look at 3 of Love’s Greatest Enemies, Selfishness, Envy, and Scorekeeping, we look at our last one today, and it is:
IV. FEAR
1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Jesus came into this world with a heart to reach out and love people who had lived lives full of sin and mistakes, and continues to love us with the same unconditional love even when we make another mistake!
Often, things that bring about fear in a relationship are broken relationships and hurts from the past. Some people may have decided to shut down their emotional side in order to somehow be protected from hurts now and in the future.
I believe that if you are going to have a successful relationship now, and enjoy the kind of Love given by God, then we have to allow ourselves the option of being hurt, or making mistakes once in awhile, because it’s going to happen regardless of whether we choose to open up or not.
I like what Rick Warren says about this idea of making mistakes. Now, you would almost think that if he were going to hire staff he would say something like, “now we have a worldwide ministry here, and we expect that when you come on to serve with us here that you will carefully examine your abilities and talents, and don’t even think of trying something new, or going outside your realm of comfort”.
Actually, here is his quote: "I want my staff members taking risks and making mistakes. That means they’re being innovative and it means they’re not afraid to try. Now, I don’t want them making the same mistake every week - that means they’re not learning, and that is bad. But I tell them, ’Make a new mistake every week.’ I tell them, ’Show the innovation and creativity to do something really stupid that you’ve never done before.’"
What is that? That is love expressed on a staff level that says, I will support you and be with you (outside of sinful actions), and as long as I know you are attempting to move this ministry forward, you can expect support from me.
Where would our marriages and relationships be if we would simply allow people the freedom to make mistakes without jumping all over them!
Fear is one of Love’s Greatest Enemies. It is up to us to both alleviate fear in other people by living a life of integrity and Christ-like Character, and we also should be people that do not close ourselves off to the opportunities that exist both now and in the future if we will simply step out in faith and allow the Lord to use us for His Glory.
Fear. His modus operandi is to manipulate you with the mysterious, to taunt you with the unknown. Fear of death, fear of failure, fear of God, fear of tomorrow-his arsenal is vast. His goal? To create cowardly, joyless souls. He doesn’t want you to make the journey to the mountain. He figures if he can rattle you enough, you will take your eyes off the peaks and settle for a dull existence in the flatlands. Max L. Lucado (1955- )
Love’s Greatest Enemies – Selfishness, Envy, Scorekeeping, Fear.
