4 Play: Four Keys to a Winning Marriage Series
Second Down: Commitment
Feb. 10, 2008 FBC, Chester Mike Fogerson, Pastor
Introduction
A Changes in my wife (introverted, driven, broken/bitter, smokin’)
1 I’ve fallen in love with each of them
a When we fail to adjust to the changes in our spouse, we’re in trouble.
b Dysfunctional or divorced
2 A winning marriage means you are committed to keep on marrying the mate you have, no matter how often they change.
B Marriages that have that level of commitment are incredibly safe places to be.
1 I believe that it is that "climate of commitment" we see in the folks in our story today.
a Book of Ruth
aa The events took place during a dark time in Israel’s history (defeated, divided), the time of the Judges.
bb God reveals His love, & He still works for those who trust Him.
b Tough time-love blooms
2 Famine in Judah-Elimelech/Naomi, Mahlon & Kilion move to Moab.
a The boys start dating two local girls (Ruth & Orpah), the old man dies & 10 years later, the boys die.
aa Naomi wants to go home to Judah, Orpah stays in Moab, Ruth insists on going with Naomi. But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. 17 "Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the LORD do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me." 18 When she saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more to her. 19 So they both went until they came to Bethlehem. Ruth 1:16-19 (NASB)
bb Bethlehem, barley, Boaz
b The Reader’s Digest version is...Ruth went rummaging through Boaz’s fields. At Naomi’s request, Ruth batted her eyes at Boaz & got his attention, they got married, & everyone lived happily ever after.
3 "Now is not Boaz our kinsman , with whose maids you were? Behold, he winnows barley at the threshing floor tonight. 3 "Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. 4 "It shall be when he lies down, that you shall notice the place where he lies, and you shall go and uncover his feet and lie down; then he will tell you what you shall do." Ruth 3:2-4 (NASB)
a Boaz awakens, & a pretty young lady’s lying at his feet with her hair keeping his feet warm.
b It happened in the middle of the night that the man was startled and bent forward; and behold, a woman was lying at his feet. 9 He said, "Who are you?" And she answered, "I am Ruth your maid. So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close relative." 10 Then he said, "May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. 11 "Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask , for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence. 12 "Now it is true I am a close relative; however, there is a relative closer than I. 13 "Remain this night, and when morning comes, if he will redeem you, good; let him redeem you. But if he does not wish to redeem you, then I will redeem you, as the LORD lives. Lie down until morning." 14 So she lay at his feet until morning and rose before one could recognize another; and he said, "Let it not be known that the woman came to the threshing floor." 15 Again he said, "Give me the cloak that is on you and hold it." So she held it, and he measured six measures of barley and laid it on her. Then she went into the city. Ruth 3:8-15 (NASB)
aa No hint that Boaz took advantage of Ruth
bb He protected her, she protected him
Let’s look at this mutual protection (transitional sentence)
I Protection
A Boaz protected Ruth
1 She felt safe with him
a Not hurt, didn’t take advantage, use her for his pleasure
b He protected her reputation. So she lay at his feet until morning and rose before one could recognize another; and he said, "Let it not be known that the woman came to the threshing floor." 15 Again he said, "Give me the cloak that is on you and hold it." So she held it, and he measured six measures of barley and laid it on her. Then she went into the city.
c He cared for her needs (6 measures of barley)
2 Men, do you make your wife feel protected?
a Never hurt, taken advantage of, use her just for your pleasures.
b Don’t talk about her (friends, mom, etc.) in a bad light
c Needs money to pay bills, clothes, needs bath, vacuum, dishes.
B Ruth protected Boaz
1 Ruth left her future husband’s early to protect his reputation.
a Boaz wouldn’t have been seen as a player, rather as a sinner.
b Ruth only wanted her man seen in the best light.
2 Women, the same rules apply.
a Don’t hurt or take advantage of
b Protect his reputation
c Take care of his needs, too.
C Protect each other’s honor...you’ll have/see a better attitude.
II How do we cultivate better attitudes?
A If you’re mutually protecting each other’s honor, reputation...this first step is easy to take.
1 Give each other the benefit of the doubt.
a Boaz asked Ruth for her cloak in v. 15, WOW!
aa Boaz could have assumed Ruth was being seductive- WOW!
bb They gave each other the benefit of the doubt.
cc Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence.
b If you want to develop a good attitude, give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.
aa Men/women, your wives/husbands do not wake up every morning thinking of ways to tick you off/make your lives miserable.
bb Try not to go from normal to psychopath in 6.7 seconds.
cc The benefit of the doubt grows best in a protected environment.
2 Give each other the time of day
a How much time is enough time?
aa Spousal: kids will be gone one day
bb It’s not quality time that matters, it’s just time
b Boaz & Ruth spent time picking barley...next thing you know, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Conclusion
A (IL) Picture
B Bring your commitment to God!
1 Safe
2 Protect
3 Benefit of the doubt
4 Time
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