How A Loving Parent Builds a Loving Family
Luke 2:41-52
We don’t have a lot of information on the home life of Jesus. From the Biblical account of the home of Jesus we know that his parents were loving and caring parents. From birth to 12 Jesus had both parents at home. Sometime between the age of 12 and 30 Joseph died and Mary became a widow.
We can assume that Jesus grew up in all the activities that surrounded a Jewish family of that day. We need to remember that during his life on earth Jesus lived as a human person with all the weaknesses, temptations and challenges all children, youth and adults face.
Jesus followed the trade of his father and became a carpenter and wood craftsman.
By studying the lives of Mary and Joseph we can learn how we can build a loving family.
I. Joseph and Mary honored the Lord
Both Joseph and Mary honored the Lord in their lives. As a teenager Mary lived a righteous life and was totally yielded to God’s will. When an angel of the Lord asked her to accept God’s mission for her life by being the mother of Jesus; she did not resist or say “no” to the Lord.
Joseph was also a man of honor. When he discovered that Mary was pregnant he was not willing to publicly humiliate her by making public her pre-marriage pregnancy. He was going to privately end their relationship and not follow through with the marriage.
An angel of the Lord told Joseph the rest of the story. That Mary was pregnant by the hand of God; Joseph trusted God by faith and received Mary as his wife.
At the birth of Jesus Joseph and Mary dedicated Jesus to the Lord. When he was 8 days old they took Jesus to the temple for a special ceremony of dedication and offered 2 doves for the sacrifice. Joseph’s job as a carpenter did not provide the income to purchase a bull or lamb for the occasion.
A loving parent is one who honors the Lord. What a privilege and honor it is to be a parent. I remember when Tim was born. I was a student as Asbury Seminary in Wilmore, KY. When I saw Tim for the first time I was overwhelmed with the gift of life. Tim was God’s gift to us.
As soon as we could we dedicated Tim to the Lord in the Wilmore Free Methodist Church. All four of our children have followed that same tradition by dedicating their children to the Lord in a special dedication service.
Years ago Henry Ward Beecher said, “When a child is born into the world, God draws His hand near His heart, lends something of Himself to the parent, and says, ‘Keep it till I come.’”
A loving parent gives his/her best to their children. As parents we all make mistakes and from time to time lack judgment. As a parent our goal is to build a moral fiber into our children. Just as we honor the Lord we want our children to honor the Lord.
We all know that we can’t force our children to be good. We all know that in time our children will do what they want to do whether we like it or not. Our goal is to help them want to do what is right. We want them to honor God in their lives.
We need to make sure we first of all have dedicated our own life to the Lord. Only then can we truly dedicate our children to the Lord.
We may lay down the law, but what is better is to let our children know we love them and appreciate them. Take time for your children and encourage them. Demonstrate love by setting boundaries according to their age. Boundaries are designed to protect their freedom. Show them the consequences that happen to people who disregard God’s Word.
Someone has said: “Law minus love equals rebellion. Love minus law equals insecurity. Love plus law equals insight and incentive.”
When our children were young I heard horror stories of kids of Pastors and Missionaries. Carollyn and I made an extra effort to make the Christian life and home a fun filled experience. We set clear guidelines and expectations. We let them know clearly what would happen if they didn’t obey. If they disobeyed they were the one choosing the consequences.
II. Joseph and Mary demonstrated love and care for Jesus
The parents of Jesus demonstrated love and care by protecting Him from the command given by Herod to kill all children 2 years old and younger.
After the wise-men visited Jesus in the home of Joseph and Mary in Bethlehem they were led by the Lord to not report back to Herod the location of Jesus.
When they failed to tell King Herod the location of the newborn king, Herod then gave the order to kills all male boys 2 and under. An angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and told him to flee to Egypt and stay there until it was safe to return.
Joseph took Mary and Jesus and traveled to Egypt. Joseph may have found a job in Egypt as a carpenter, but they did have the gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh to use as a financial resource.
Matthew 2:19-23 “After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child’s life are dead.’”
“So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew t the district of Galilee, and Joseph went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets: ‘He will be called a Nazarene.’”
Joseph and Mary did all they could to protect their son Jesus.
As Parents we demonstrate love and care by listening to our children. When our children experience trauma in their lies we need to take action.
When Tim was in Junior High he had a Science teacher that gave our son fits. Tim hid a tape-recorder in his pocket and taped some of the teacher’s outrageous talk and yelling.
We talked to the school counselor and principal to no avail. The teacher union in Taylor, Michigan was strong and no changes could be made.
Tim and Wendel had their bedrooms in the basement and one night I after we had gone to bed, I heard Tim crying in his room down below us. I went down and asked him what was wrong. He told me about his concerns at school. I assured him we would take action and find a different school for him to attend. I had prayer with Tim and asked the Lord to guide us as we tried to work out the situation.
The next day we enrolled him in a Christian Junior High School.
Eighteen months later he was ready to go back to Public School and graduated from Kennedy High School in Taylor, MI.
As a young couple with a small child Joseph and Mary listed to the Lord and obeyed as God led them step-by step.
Joseph and Mary also demonstrated love and care when Jesus was 12 years old. They took Jesus to Jerusalem when he reached his 12th birthday to celebrate the Passover Festival. They traveled with a group the 80 miles from Nazareth to Jerusalem and as they travel others probably joined with those walking to Jerusalem.
The Passover feast lasted 7 days and at the end of the festival Joseph and Mary started back. They assumed Jesus had already left with others traveling back to Nazareth. The parents caught up with the group and when they didn’t find Jesus they traveled back to Jerusalem. Three days later they found him in the temple dialoging with religious teachers in the temple. Joseph and Mary were bewildered by the actions of Jesus. Jesus went back to Nazareth with his parents and “was obedient to them.” Luke 2:51
As parents our first responsibility is to honor God in our hearts and lives. Someone has said: “Only in the home can children see living models of Christ reflecting Him in the midst of daily living.” In our daily activities as a family we can demonstrate love and care.
As parents it is our privilege to pray for and with our children. Successful parenting is beyond our human effort. It requires supernatural wisdom and strength from the Lord.
III. Joseph and Mary created an encouraging atmosphere.
#A doctor gave an older couple a terrible report concerning the health of the husband. The doctor requested to speak privately to the wife. When the door was shut, he said, “I’ve got some bad news. I think your husband is probably going to die within a week. He doesn’t have long to live.”
But he said, “The good news is this. If you cook him three meals a day, if you bring him breakfast in bed, if you pamper him, if you love him like you did the first year you were married, I think that man might live for a year or two longer.”
She went out in the waiting room. Her husband said, “What did the doctor say?” She said, “You’re going to die.”
Joseph and Mary had a marriage relationship quite opposite of that. They created such an atmosphere in the home that Jesus gladly was obedient to them.
When both parents accentuate the positive and give encouraging words it is easier for children to be obedient.
Fathers in the Old Testament had the tradition of giving special blessings to his children. When you bless your children you help create an encouraging atmosphere.
Being a parent can be compared to playing tennis. Tennis can be played with sportsmanship that is gracious in winning and also gracious in losing. But tennis can also be played merely to win and money. When played for merely for money some players throw temper tantrums, express profanity, do official bashing and make bitter excuses.
As parents we can concentrate on developing our self-control or divert attention from our own weaknesses by blaming others for our problems.
Is this a true or false statement: “These kids are tearing our marriage apart.” Of course, False, Troubled marriages produce troubled kids. The person who has a strong stubborn selfish will has a hard time creating harmony in marriage.
It doesn’t take a vacation to Hawaii or a new diamond ring to give each other the support and encouragement needed each day. It does take caring enough to show love no matter what else happens.
You help create an encouraging atmosphere in the home by:
1) Speak encouraging words to every person you meet. Take the 30-day test – 30 days straight speak encouraging words. It you fail; start over for another 30 days.
2) Practice the golden rule. Not, “Do to others as they do to you.” But, “Do unto others what you would have them do to you.” Think of acts of kindness you can do for your children or spouse if you are married. – My daily act of kindness is a cup of cappuccino coffee every morning for Carollyn.
3) Express thankfulness and give individual appreciation to your children.
4) Give lots of hugs and kisses.
5) Pray regularly for God’s blessing on your children and grandchildren.
6) The family that plays together stays together.
L – Listen
O - Overlook faults
V- Value opinions
E – Express yourself openly, avoiding putting, guessing games, silent treatment and innuendos.
I John 3:18 “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”
You learn from Joseph and Mary how you can be a loving parent:
Honor God in your heart and life. Teach your children to honor God.
Demonstrate love and care to your family.
Create an encouraging atmosphere.
Let’s close by having prayer for our families.
