Love In Focus
(topical)
NOTE: When preached, I only got through half of this in 30 minutes, so I am doing part two (with some expansions) this week.
1. Affectionate Writing Can Reduce Cholesterol
According to new research, writing down affectionate thoughts about close friends and family can reduce your cholesterol levels. Floyd et al. (2007) randomly assigned participants to one of two groups: one experimental and one control. The experimental group wrote with affection about one person in their lives for 20 minutes on three occasions over a five-week period. The control group wrote mundane descriptions of their activities over the week, jobs they had done and places they had lived.
The results from two separate studies demonstrated that after only 25 days, the experimental group who had written affectionate notes, showed a significant reduction in cholesterol. These reductions were seen independently from the effects of general health factors like age, drinking, smoking and so on. Mean cholesterol levels reduced from 170 mg/dL to 159 mg/dL (figures are from the second study which was methodologically more secure). [source: www.spring.org.uk/2007/03/affectionate-writing-can-reduce.php]
2. Recent studies in psychology suggest that the pursuit of self-interest may not be the
clearest path to the greater good or personal happiness, as so widely assumed. When
researchers study what makes us happy, they find that it is not personal wealth, the
strength of the stock market, inflation, or interest rates that cause the ebb and flow in our
personal well-being. What makes us happy, what matters in the end, is the quality of our
romantic and family bonds, our connection to our friends, and doing things for others.
[source: www.altruists.org/static/files/The%20Evolution%20of%20Compassion%20%28Dacher%20Keltner%29.pdf]
3. But romantic love is just one strand of the broad set of feelings, choices, commitments and attachments we call love.
4. People do all sorts of gymnastics with the word "agape" and confidently assert that the Greek word Agape refers only to sacrificial, deep love whereas the Greek word Phileo refers to a lesser love -- but agape can mean anything from niceness or liking all the way to deep love, just like our English word. You can prove this to yourself if you have a good concordance. And sometimes the intensity of Phileo can be stronger than agape in certain contexts. So stick with English. The Greek isn’t going to help you much.
5. Perhaps a general definition of love might be Thomas Jay Ord’s:
"to love is to act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others (including God), to promote overall well-being." [source: Wikipedia]
6. This week, I got a new set of glasses. They are bifocals without a line -- for all practical purposes, trifocals. I have to move my eyes or head up or down or left or right because the peripheral vision is blurry.
7. So it is when we talk about love: there are so many angles, so many different types of love, so many relational and emotional complexities to it all.
Main Idea: Like my glasses, Love focuses in different ways, varying in both intensity and style.
TS----> We could not possibly look at all the kinds of love or aspects of love in a single sermon. But here is a survey of some of the focuses of love.
The first focus is:
I. UPWARD Love
A. The love of God for us is the love of redemption. (John 3:16; Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.") God Himself becomes a man to die for our sins. We might call this the love that sacrifices oneself for another, the love that gives of oneself, or SACRIFICIAL LOVE.
"By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him." (I John 4:9)
B. Our love for God is a love in RESPONSE to His love
"We love, because He first loved us." I John 4:19
Unrequited love is when you love someone and they do not share those same feelings. God frequently experiences unrequited love.
1. Love was the highest motivation, even among the Jews. We read in the Talmud:
"What difference is there between one who acts from love and one who acts from fear? — The difference is that indicated in this teaching: R. Simeon b. Eleazar says: Greater is he who acts from love than he who acts from fear…" Babylonian Talmud: Tractate Sotah Folio 31a
2. Two truths about this Upward love that bear on daily life:
• A lot of our sinful ways are caused because we are searching for meaning, security, attention, and love that only God can give us; other things or people cannot fully meet this need…
• Certain truths about God’s love cannot really impact us until we are ready; that’s why Paul writes about a mystical level of experiencing God’s love that cannot be reduced to words, "and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge" Paul prays for the Ephesians
3. Our love for God is foundational to solid love for others
• love is based on truth, not niceness
• love is based on eternal perspective, not immediate consequences or gratification
• love fears displeasing God first and works within those boundaries
The first focus is Upward love; the second focus is:
II. INWARD Love
A. We are nowhere in Scripture told to work at loving ourselves
B. Loving ourselves is assumed
1. "Love your neighbor has yourself"
2. "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church" (Eph. 5:28-29)
C. Rather than focus on self-love, which is a given, we should focus on Self-respect
The Aprocryphal book of Sirach 4:28-29 shows the thinking among the Jews about self-respect at the time of Christ: " My son, in all modesty, keep your self- respect and value yourself at your true worth. Who will speak up for a man who is his own enemy, or respect one who disparages himself ?"
D. Self respect is enhanced from doing right (Cain and Abel)
The first focus is Upward love; the second focus is inward love: the third focus is:
III. NEAR Love
A. SPOUSE
The New Testament teaching about loving spouse and family is a continuation of the Jewish teaching…
"Our Rabbis taught: Concerning a man who loves his wife as himself, who honours her more than himself, who guides his sons and daughters in the right path and arranges for them to be married … Scripture says, And thou shalt know that thy tent is in peace." Talmud, yebamoth_62
1. an extension of yourself: too easy to get disrespectful toward spouse
• with yourself, your guard is completely down
• with your spouse, your guard should be mostly down
• self-talk -- I can call myself "stupid" in my mind…
2. Ideally, some or all of the following (write these down)
• Affection: feelings of tenderness and/or wanting physical closeness
• Attachment: satisfying basic emotional needs
• Altruism: selfless or unselfish concern for another
• Reciprocation: mutuality
• Commitment: a desire to maintain love
• Emotional intimacy: sharing emotions and feelings
• Friendship: the spirit between friends
• Kinship: family bonds
• Passion: whole-hearted desire
[Source: wikidpedia]
3. No marriage is strong in all departments all the time
B. CHILDREN
1. a lesser extension of yourself, but still an extension
2. near love: difficult to be objective
The ancient Rabbis realized that love can quell our ability to be objective and fair.
R. Papa said: A man should not act as judge either for one whom he loves or for one whom he hates; for no man can see the guilt of one whom he loves or the merit of one whom he hates. http://www.come-and-hear.com/kethuboth/kethuboth_105.html
Dr. Richard Restak, The New Brain: When we reason about ourselves or someone very close to us, the emotional parts of our brain light up; when a friend or acquaintance, the reasoning parts light up
The first focus is Upward love; the second focus is inward love: the third focus is near love, and the fourth focus is:
IV. MID-RANGE Love
A. EXTENDED family
Then there is the love between siblings. Proverbs 17:17 is often misinterpreted, in my view, to teach the concept of sibling rivalry. I understand it to teach that brothers can be leaned upon during difficult times. ("A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.") We can call this a SUPPORTING LOVE or perhaps "a love of reliance."
B. CHURCH brothers and sisters
C. FRIENDS
• David and Jonathan
• The love of camaraderie
• Variety of friends from very close to casual
The first focus is Upward love; the second focus is inward love: the third focus is near love, and the fourth focus is mid-range love, the fifth and final focus is:
V. DISTANT LOVE
A. NEIGHBORS
The Bible commands us to love our neighbor, as illustrated in the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:36-37). We could call this love a CONCERNED LOVE. Rather than pass by, we show a level of care.
B. ENEMIES
Last in my list is the command to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44; 7:9 "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.") This command tells us to obey the Golden Rule even for those we do not get along with, those who have wronged us. Love in this case is certainly not a feeling, though in all of the above with the exception of loving our neighbor, perhaps feelings are involved. In reality, loving our enemy is a love in contradiction to our feelings. This love is the LOVE OF DUTY.
C. NATION
America is different from many nations. In many countries, to love your nation meant to love your gene pool, your very extended family.
Marylu’s family from Battaglia-Piano.
In America, we love our shared values and shared culture.
D. HUMANITY
This is the love that inspires missions.
This is the love that inspires the spreading of freedom and humane conditions.
This is the "God so loved the world" kind of love.
