March 12, 2006
Total Forgiveness
Luke 23:34
Introduction:
Did you see the news report earlier in the week about Charles Cullen? He is the nurse given 6 life terms for the murders of 40 patients under his care. At one point in Friday’s proceedings they had to physically gag the defendant because of his outbursts in court. At one point one of the son’s-in-law of one of Cullen’s victims out of frustration yelled out how he hopes Cullen will burn for all eternity for his actions.
On a humane level we may understand how a family of a crime victim could feel this way, especially after such a heinous crime. Yet study after study has verified what scripture knows to be true. Total forgiveness is necessary for our spiritual, psychological, and physical health.
Total forgiveness is essential but, to be honest, is difficult. The reason? Forgiving persons who have wronged us is contrary to human nature. The world would say to us, “You have the right to be angry, to carry a grudge, after all, you were severely wronged! No one blames you for how you feel.”
Psychologists and physicians tell us just how harmful not being willing to forgive can be to our health. When we hold on to and nurse harsh feelings toward another, stress is produced. This stress can cause anything from mental illness to high blood pressure to ulcers to not being able to get the rest our bodies require.
We are plainly instructed in the gospels to forgive. For instance (read Mt. 6:14-15) Do you see that? If you don’t forgive, you won’t be forgiven. Jesus himself gives us a lesson on total forgiveness in our scripture reading this morning from Luke 23.
--Give details and elaborate in own words of events leading up to the crucifixion--wrongly accused, mocked, spat upon, beaten severely, nailed to a cross, and killed. Yet before he dies he says, “Forgive them…” Forgive who? To be sure, those who nailed Him to the cross. Forgive even those who had falsely accused Him and now stand at the foot of the cross mocking Him and wagging their heads at Him. Forgive those gambling at the foot of the cross for His only earthly possession. But forgive you and me as well. Forgive humanity and bring them into a reconciled relationship with God.
God has given us a mandate to forgive in His word.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Eph. 4:32
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Col. 3:13
These two passages have in common the mandate to forgive but there is one more thing they have in common. Let me ask you this. Would you want the level of your forgiveness from God to be based upon your level of granting forgiveness to others? Remember, as the Eph. And Col. Passage says, we are to forgive because we have been forgiven.
Is forgiveness easy? Some instances may be easier than others--but forgiving persons who have wronged you can be difficult--yet it is essential to our own spiritual health.
Some years after Corrie Ten Boom had be freed from a Nazi Concentration Camp, she was scheduled to speak at a church. As she sat on the platform and looked out at the congregation, she saw the prison guard who had been so cruel to her sister just prior to her death.
She struggled and wrestled with God on that very platform. How could she forgive him? She realized though that Jesus Christ had come and died for this former Nazi prison guard as much as he died for her. So how could she not forgive him? Yet the pain was so real. She had to turn it over to God.
None of us here have been imprisoned by a godless and cruel resheme. Yet from time to time either we or someone we deeply love has experienced cruelty at the hands of another. No, total forgiveness is not easy but it is essential.
What is total forgiveness? First let’s look at what it is not then we will turn our attention to what it means to totally forgive another. R.K. Kendall in his book, Total Forgiveness, begins by telling the reader what forgiveness is not. Listen to this.
I. What Total Forgiveness is Not
1. Approval of what they did.
God never approves of sin. He hates sin. In the garden he became angry with Adam and Eve and their sin. Yet he still made them garments of skin and clothed them. This act of mercy demonstrated His forgiveness even at the time. It signified the sacrifice of blood that Jesus would shed for our sin, but God drove them from the garden because of their sin. We can forgive without approving of the action. R.T. Kendall himself says, “Just as God forgives people without approving of their sin, we also must learn that forgiving others does not imply an endorsement of their evil deeds.”
2. Excusing what they did.
We do not cover for the sins of others. We are not to point to possible circumstances in order to explain away behavior. Some behavior just can’t be explained away.
3. Justifying what they did.
To justify means to “make right or just.” Evil can never be justified. God will not call something that is evil “right”, and does not require us to do so.
4. Denying what they did.
It is sometimes painful to face the facts (consider the families of the murder victims of Charles Cullen) so at times denial may seem to be an easy way out. But repression almost always has negative consequences for our psychological well-being. Denial does not make things go away--it buries it only to resurface at a later time.
5. Forgetting
Only God forgives and forgets. That’s because He chooses not to remember our sin against us when we have asked for forgiveness. As humans our memories run long and deep. Total forgiveness may not be able to help us forget, but it can help us to choose not to dwell on the past. That’s where most of the trouble comes in. We like to dwell there and stew in our anger and hurt.
If that’s what forgiveness is not, then what is forgiveness?
II. What Total Forgiveness is
1. Being aware of what someone has done and you still choose to forgive. Notice what I said--you choose to forgive. I’ve heard people say, “I just can’t forgive.” When I attended college I had a speech professor who came in one morning and had the class take out a piece of paper. “On the paper,” he said, “write out five things you cannot do using the statement, ’I can’t do…’” I wrote out those things. One was, “I can’t cook.” He then instructed us to replace the word “can’t” with “won’t”. My statement then read, “I won’t cook.” Changes the meaning, doesn’t it. Forgiveness is an act of will. Those who “can’t” just refuse to forgive.
2.Choosing to keep no records of wrongs. Remember in the Love chapter (I Cor. 13:5)--read-- it says love keeps no record of wrongs. If we keep a record of wrongs it’s so we can use it as ammunition at a later date.
3.Refusing to punish. When we totally forgive we don’t long for the person to be repeatedly punished or tormented by the thoughts of what they did against us. Rather, our hearts desire is that they, too, be free.
4. Not telling what they did. I have had the opportunity over the years to work with people who have clearly been wronged. They chose to forgive and the general public has never known all that was done to them because these people chose to forgive totally. Totally forgiving another frees us from thinking we must continually defend ourselves against accusations.
5. It’s an absence of bitterness. Forgiving another prevents a root of bitterness from spring up in your life. When I was a boy my mom had four friends that were so close that you knew where they would be five days a week at 10:00 A.M. They had coffee and visited and shared the “news of the day” with each other. One Thursday at a sporting event something was said that drove a wedge into those friendships. As a few years past my mom and two others reconciled but the fourth one just could not seem to get past it. She refused to forgive and for over 30 years her life was racked with bitterness that imprisoned her. When we forgive there is nothing for bitterness to cling to. It can’t take root.
6. Forgiving God. All bitterness is ultimately traceable to a resentment toward God. It may come out in questions like, “God, why didn’t you prevent this from happening?” or, “God, you could have stopped this.” Let me say that I don’t know why evil and suffering is allowed to continue but I do know
“All things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” Rom. 8:28.
7. Total forgiveness also includes forgiving ourselves. It must include forgiving ourselves because there is no lasting joy in forgiveness if it doesn’t include forgiving ourselves. People from all walks of life have said, “I know God forgives me, but I just can’t seem to forgive myself.” Are you there this morning? Research is showing the first person to experience delight when forgiveness takes place is the one who forgives.
Who has wronged you? Who do you need to forgive? Remember that total forgiveness is a choice of will. On the cross, bearing the pain and humiliation, as an act of his will, Jesus extended forgiveness--not only to the Roman soldiers and religious leaders but to us. Let us Pray.
