I Thessalonians 2:10-12
“You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.”
This is really an admonition to fathers today as to how we’re to live.
The apostle Paul takes our fatherhood to the spiritual dimension in these verses---
but it might well be addressed to all of us dads today.
A Harvard University professor recently, wrote a book simply entitled, “Finding Our Fathers”
And then subtitled, “The unfinished business of manhood”.
He took his own troubled relationship with his dad and used it as a springboard into a study of the meaning of “Fatherhood”.
He did a study of 370 Harvard graduates. And that study led him to this conclusion:
“If you don’t come to terms with past relationships, especially your parents,
you may be condemned to reproduce them.”
In that study he indicated that very few men, relatively speaking, report a close, secure relationship with their father.
I’d like to see that turned around, wouldn’t you?
We may not be able to anything for society in general, but we can do something for those of us here.
So, in hopes of trying to turn that around this morning, I want to talk to you about being a “Super Dad”
Now, please don’t misunderstand – I’m not claiming to be one, although I want to be—and I’m working at it.
But God’s Word – and considerable experience give me the resources to preach this message with a measure of authority this morning.
So---let me quickly share with you 4 things that it takes to be a “Super Dad”
First of all. . .
I. A Super Dad is a Dad of Prayer
• I’m talking about praying for your children.
• I’m talking about praying a hedge of protection around your children
I want us all to know this morning that –a dad, praying for his children is essential to being a “super dad”.
And a dad, praying for his kids, will intern, teach his kids a number of things.
Let me mention four things a dad will teach his kids by his prayers.
1. It will teach them “dependence upon God”.
When you pray about the issues of life and about all the things that burden you and expose your inability to handle them, and your kids see and hear you praying for guidance…
They, in tern, learn to depend upon God.
Dad--- are you a man of prayer?
Do your kids know you’re praying specifically for them?
Do they see in you, a dependence on God?
Or
As far as they’re concerned – Do you just depend primarily upon self and your own strength and your own ingenuity?
Secondly, being a man of prayer,
2. It will teach your children “Strength against temptation”
Our kids are more tempted today than ever before.
The pressures are greater than ever before.
And
Maybe your son or daughter is struggling today with some specific
area of temptation.
You can lead the way by praying for strength for them.
• Maybe it’s a temptation to cheat in their school work –
Pray for strength against temptation
• Maybe you sense that your son or daughter is getting too physically close to their boy friend or girl friend --- and they are being tempted sexually & morally.
They are good Christian kids – yes – but hormones are raging and peer pressure is mounting --- pray for strength against their temptation.
When your kid is ready to cave in to temptation –
and they think about you praying for them –dad – it might well keep them from yielding to that temptation and give Jesus the victory-instead of Satan.
A third thing that being a man of prayer teaches is. . .
3. It will teach them “openness and transparency.”
Modeling “confessional prayer teaches kids not to hide their sins,
to hide their weaknesses –
• but to reveal them –
• and deal with them –
• and repent of them
• And to be forgiven of them.
Prayer also allows you to process things with God which need to be talked through.
In confessional prayer – you can deal with issues in your life –personally-
and issues that concern you about the close relationships you have.
Prayer is a powerful force – because God is Good – and he’ll listen
4. It will teach them to have a “Heart for God”
I’m going to be real blunt about something this morning.
The reason the church as a whole is lacking good solid leadership is because few men really take the role of spiritual leadership in their homes seriously.
That’s a tragedy for, not only the home, but for the church – because –
Weak spiritual leadership at home – makes for weak spiritual leadership in the church
There’s a lot of families who wouldn’t be at church on Sunday morning if it weren’t for MOM.
Men – God has called the man to be the spiritual leader in the home.
We need to rise up and be the man called us to be in our homes – then we might think about it in the church.
I want to congratulate those Fathers who
• pray with their kids
• who pray for their kids
• who pray over their kids
Do you know what that does – it teaches them that – It’s a masculine thing to love God.
And do you know what?
It is a masculine thing to love God, and to serve God, and to please God.
We not only need to teach our kids this –
but this community needs to know that
• loving God and
• serving God and pleasing God is the masculine thing to do. AMEN?
Being a man of prayer will teach your kids to have a “heart for God”
Well, let me move on. . . Being a Super Dad isn’t just a matter of being a dad of prayer…
But
II. A Super Dad is being a Dad of Play.
I’m talking about dads that like to have fun.
And who make their families a situation where “fun” is very much a part of the way they live.
Did you see the cartoon about the little boy.
He’s standing their in this cartoon –
• with his baseball cap on –
• and his baseball glove in his hand and
• his baseball in his baseball glove
and he’s standing in front of his dad – who is sitting there in his big easy chair
He’s reading the paper.
And the little guy says to his dad, “Play with me, or trade me”
Too many dads are caught up in
• making money to have a better house or more cars – or a better name.
• Making a reputation for themselves
• Working for retirement – to have the so called “good life”
But let me tell you something this morning,
By personal experience – Before you know it your kids are going to be grown and gone.
I know you’re busy
I know you’ve got 101 things to get done.
But please take time to play with your kids. Because when you do
It will do 3 things for them.
1. It enhances their esteem - they way they see themselves.
It basically says, “I like you. And you’re very important to me. In fact you’re so important to me, I want to spend time with you.”
I remember when the kids were young we had Friday Family Nights.
We had fun!
While we were attending JBC – we had a standing appointment every Saturday morning at Cracker Barrel – biscuits & gravy – only .99 + a lot of communication
We would go to Kings Island almost every year.
Ride the roller coasters
Play the games -- your kids need to know they are valuable to you.
2. It builds bridges –
When you have fun with your kids – it lowers their “defense mechanism”
You’re in their world and communication begins to happen on a natural level.
Sometimes we parents try force communication, especially with teenagers.
We sit them down and say, “We’re going to talk.” – No! you may talk -- but we’re not going to have communication.
Because,
Real communication happens spontaneously – in the flow of life—it’s not something that’s scheduled in an appointment.
Some of the most meaningful conversations you’ll have
will come while you’re having fun together.
Playing builds bridges.
And then…
3. Playing creates more memories.
At our house we have boxes and boxes of photos.
Not only pictures – but I have a video to go with each one of the pictures.
• Memories of ball games – baseball – soccer - football
• Memories of school events
• Memories of amusement parks & State parks—fun doesn’t have to be expensive. Go to a park.
• Memories of fishing trips
• Memories of vacations
• Memories of singing at Family camps & churches
• Memories of all the different houses we lived in
A father is a “Super Dad” in part because He is a Dad of Play!
_______________________________________________________
Brooks Adams kept a diary as a child.
When he was eight years old, he wrote in his diary, “I went fishing with my father today, the most glorious day of my life.”
Brooks Adam’s father, who is the Ambassador to Great Britain, wrote in his diary that day,
“Went fishing with my son, a day wasted.”
It’s a matter of perspective – isn’t it?
But Brooks Adams, for the next 40 years of his life talked again and again and again about the best day of his life – that day when he was eight years old – and his daddy took the time to take him fishing.
Next,
A Super Dad is not only a Dad of Prayer
And a Dad of Play
But also -------
III. A Super Dad is a Dad of Purpose
And every life needs a purpose to which to give the energies of its mind and the enthusiasm of his heart.
Children need a legacy of PURPOSE --- from their dads.
Let me suggest 4 things that should be in that legacy:
1. The Sovereignty of God
Your kids need to have an eternal, sovereign perspective on things.
By that I mean – Whatever they give their life to – in this life – should be something that is
beyond what this life is.
They need to understand that God is in control.
They should submit to his sovereignty and let Him lead their lives.
Someone has written this statement and your kids need to understand the truth of it.
“God is too good to be unkind. God is too wise to be confused.
And if I cannot trace His hand I can always trust His heart.”
You need to teach your kids that. - Even if they are adults – especially if they’re adults!
They need to understand that! From your example, Dad!
We need to give our kids a legacy of an Eternal Purpose in Life!
One man said it this way.
“Only one life will soon be passed, and only what’s done for Christ will last.”
The 2nd major understanding in the development of the sense of purpose in our children’s hearts is…
2. The Value of People.
The only thing God is going to redeem out of this world is People!
Out of all creation- Jesus said, “Heaven and earth will all pass away…”
All of creation will be destroyed –
• the monuments, the mountains,
• all of man’s ingenuity- majestic buildings and bridges and structures
• all of God’s creative masterpieces that we stand in awe of – all will melt with fire--- they will be vaporized someday.
But, by the same token, we need to understand --- that Christ shed his precious blood,
So that out of the midst of all of that – that we think of as so great. . .
Man might be redeemed.
___________________________________________________________________
Stanford school of business did a study in which they concluded that 87% of the success that any of us will ever have in business… is related to people skills.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “I will never go back to that place of business no matter how good the deal is—because the lack of value placed on people.
Our society doesn’t value people today!
This study says that 87% of success that anyone will have in business is related to people skills – and only 13% has to do with product knowledge.
Couple that with the other statistic that 85% of all who come through that door
is directly related to your interest in people
and you understand why some churches grow while others don’t.
God Values People!
May I point out that the primary asset of Calvary Christian Church
• Is not our land – we have enough land
• It’s not our building – we have a beautiful building
• It’s not our services – we have wonderful services
• It’s not any of those things…
The greatest asset this church has is PEOPLE.
• Someday this building will be gone
• Someday this land will be gone – it will only be a memory of the past.
But PEOPLE – That’s what matters to God.
And the Super Dad – A Dad of Purpose will teach his children that.
The 3rd element of purpose in
3. Reaching Our Potential
We find this in God’s Word. “To whom much is given, much will be required.”
We need to teach our kids that God has given each one of us the gift of Potential.
And what we do with the gifts he’s entrusted us with ---
How we cultivate that potential --- is our gift back to God.
Framed Plaque in our house: (it was a gift from my mother)
“What we are is God’s gift to us, what we become is our gift to God.”
So, in order to teach that --- we need to model that for our kids.
Then the 4th and final element of purpose is. . .
4. The Consequence of our choices
We need to teach our children that there are always consequences to their choices.
It’s a Biblical principle: “We reap what we sow”
Paul goes on to say in Galatians 6:8
The one who sows to his own sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction;
The one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
II Cor. 9 says, “If you sow sparingly, you will reap sparingly.”
“If you sow generously, then you will reap generously.”
It is a Biblical principle set in motion by God – and it will happen ----
Our choices have consequences.
We need to teach our kids that--- We need to teach our kids ---
That they will, indeed, reap what they sow.
I don’t have time to get into this ---but--- Did you know that…
We are raising a society that no longer takes responsibility for its actions.
It’s always somebody else’s fault.
When we teach our kids that – and rob them of their personal responsibility -- then they grow up believing the idea that. . .
I can do anything and get by with it.
That’s not love---
That’s a lie from Satan!
Because someday they will be out in society all on their own and they won’t have your protection--- and they’re going to think they can get by with it – but they can’t.
Dads, Dads, Dads…
It’s time to teach our kids that there are consequences to our choices and our actions.
It’s time we teach them the truth—What they sow, that shall they reap!
Let me tell you about an interesting study.
Psychologists did a study of prisoners all across America- State Penitentiaries, found that,
When asked why they were there ---
Over 90% --- said it wasn’t there fault.
Therefore, those psychologists came up with the conclusion, based on this study, that
The most innocent people in society are the people in prison.
But I’ll guarantee you—that the vast majority of those prisoners – didn’t have a dad that taught them – You reap what you sow.
One Final thing – quickly --
IV. A Super Dad is Dad of Praise
Affirming,
Encouraging,
Reinforcing,
Praise accomplishes a lot of things.
For one thing --
1. Praise brings out the best in our kids.
You can be a prison warden in your home – some dads think that’s their role as a dad.
You can be like the Captain on the Sound of Music – and blow your whistle.
Or
You can, while correcting them for the wrongs,
Praise them for the right things in their life and affirm them in their strengths.
They will lean which ever way you emphasize.
They will lean toward the judgmental side
Or to the side of Praise -- You choose, Dads! What do you want for them?
Praise does something else . . .
2. It gives your kids a good self-concept. It makes them feel valuable.
It is only when we feel good about ourselves – that we can then feel good about others.
That’s why Jesus said, “You are to love your neighbor as yourself.”
Someone that doesn’t care for themselves –
Someone that hasn’t understood - How important they are – personally…
can never love others as they ought to love them.
You cannot have a good image of others – or--- of God… without a good self-image.
And then – 3rd…
3. Praise gives them strength
Someone has said,
“Encouragement is the oxygen of the soul.” I like that! It’s True!
If dad believes in them, then, those kids can do things they could otherwise never do on their own.
Then, finally…
4. Praise from you will enable your kids – to praise their kids.
Dads, you have the opportunity, this morning, to leave a living legacy.
Some of you are saying – deep down in your heart –
“That’s easy for you to say, Dan, you seem to have a good relationship with your kids and everything is hunky dory and all.
But that’s not the way it has been in my life.
I didn’t have a Dad like that.
I wasn’t praised by my dad. My dad condemned me!
My dad criticized me! He condemned me!
My dad put me down!
I could never do anything good enough to please him.
I’ve spent my life trying to measure up. Reaching for the blessing!
But I’ve got Good news for you this morning! Good news!
Listen to me.
There’s a great gift on Father’s Day if you haven’t received this yet, and that is---
You can start a godly heritage yourself.
You can do away with all that nonsense.
You can put that behind you. You can start a godly heritage yourself.
I don’t care how you were raised – you determine how you’re going to live from here on out.
You can stop the heritage of condemnation and start one of PRAISE – AFFIRMATION
and GOOD things in the lives of your kids.
Let me close with a little story. It’s a simple story, but it speaks so well to the lessons that I wanted to share this morning.
3 little boys were in the back yard playing.
Pretty soon they got into this old thing of – you know –
My dad is bigger that your dad – better than your dad, greater than yours.
My dad can beat your dad and all that.
This one little boy says, “My dad knows the Mayor.” Pretty impressive.
The second little boy (to top that) said, “That’s nothing! My daddy knows the governor.”
Well, the third little boy’s daddy – it was his home— his daddy was near the window in the kitchen while this was all taking place – so he could hear what was going on.
He wondered what his son would say to top that.
And this little boy just paused for a moment – then he said with total confidence, he said,
“Your dad may know the Mayor, and your dad may know the governor, but my daddy knows God.”
AMEN! Think about it.
There’s only one thing that’s important in the eternal scheme of things.
• It’s not how much money you make-there’s always someone who makes more
• It’s not how many degrees you have – that’s not going to impress many people
• It’s not how many people know your name
• It’s not how much power you exercise
• It’s not how many influential people you know
No! No! No!
The thing that really counts --- is whether you know God. And
Whether or not your kids, and the other people in your sphere of influence –
Know -- that you know God.
I’ve got good news on that point this morning too!
If you don’t know Him – you can come to know him right now.
…by simply turning over your life in Faith to Jesus Christ this morning.
