Last week after the message, someone came up to me and said, “Those were some really good jokes in your sermon today.” But when I asked them about the main idea of the message they couldn’t remember a thing. So this morning, you’re going to get just a plain old boring message without any jokes. I don’t even have a catchy sermon title today. But God’s Word does contain a very important message that we need to hear this morning. So let’s get right to it. Let’s read our passage out loud together:
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Ephesians 4:30 (NIV)
There is a very important principle contained in this passage, but before we get to that, I think it’s really important that we take a few minutes and consider...
WHAT THIS VERSE REVEALS ABOUT THE HOLY SPIRIT:
1. He is a person
Although we certainly don’t have time to cover this principle exhaustively this morning, the Bible makes it clear that the Holy Spirit is 100% God. He is one of the three members of the Godhead, or what we often refer to as the Trinity. Therefore He is not an object. He is not, as some people would claim, merely an essence or an impersonal force, such as “the force be with you” in Star Wars. Like God the Father and God the Son, He exhibits the traits of a person. He certainly meets this dictionary definition of a person:
The composite of characteristics that make up an individual personality
In Scripture we find that the Holy Spirit has a mind, a will, and emotions. Each of those aspects obviously operate differently in the Holy Spirit, being God, that they do in us, but they are present, nonetheless. This is an important concept that distinguishes Biblical Christianity from how all other religions view the Holy Spirit.
The most compelling evidence of His personhood is the fact that every time that Jesus referred to the Holy Spirit, He always called Him “he” and not “it.” The New Testament is also filled with examples of how the Holy Spirit carries out functions that only a person can carry out.
He speaks:
While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, "Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them."
Acts 13:2 (NIV)
He has a will:
All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.
1 Corinthians 12:11 (NIV)
And, as we see in our passage this morning, He can be grieved. The Greek word Paul uses here denotes pain or grief that is experienced between two people. In my own life, I can grieve the people around me – my wife, my kids, perhaps even some of you. But I can’t grieve an object or an essence or a force. I can’t grieve my TV, or my car, or “Mother Earth”. So the very fact that the Holy Spirit can be grieved is evidence that He is a person who is fully God - omniscient, omnipresent and eternal.
2. He loves me
The word Paul uses here for grieve originally was used to picture a husband or wife who discovered hat his or her mate had been unfaithful. As a result of that betrayal, the offended person was shocked, devastated, hurt and wounded. So when Paul uses this word, he is picturing the fact that the Holy Spirit is in a love relationship with us that is similar to, but greatly exceeds, the way we love our spouse. Rick Renner in his book Sparkling Gems from the Greek described that relationship like this:
“Just as someone in love thinks about, dreams of, and cherishes the one he loves, the Holy Spirit longs for us, thinks about us, desires to be close to us and wants to reveal Himself to us.”
Occasionally, I’ll read the obituaries in the paper, just to make sure my name isn’t there. And most of the time, I don’t grieve at all over the names of the people listed there, because I don’t have any kind of relationship with them. But once in a while, I’ll come across an obituary for someone I know, and depending on the nature and depth of my relationship with that person, I’ll grieve accordingly.
The Holy Spirit loves us so much, that when we engage in some of the kinds of behaviors we’ll discuss in just a moment, he is hurt and grieved deeply, because he knows that those behaviors are not what is best for us.
3. He will never leave me
Paul makes reference here to the work of the Holy Spirit that he had previously described in Chapter 1:
And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession - to the praise of his glory.
Ephesians 1:13, 14 (NIV)
When we looked at that verse almost a year ago, we determined that at the very moment we commit our lives to Jesus as our forgiver and our master, the Holy Spirit comes into our lives to reside permanently as a guarantee of the complete fulfillment of our redemption. In verse 14, in particular, Paul makes it clear that the Holy Spirit is our guarantee “until the redemption of those who are God’s possession.” So exactly what does Paul mean by that phrase? Haven’t I already been redeemed?
Our redemption, just like our salvation, has three aspects to it:
• I have been redeemed (past tense) by the blood of Christ (see Ephesians 1:7-13). When I committed my life to Jesus Christ, I was once for all set free, or redeemed, from my bondage to sin.
• I am being redeemed right now (present tense) as I live an abundant life that has been set free from the empty way of life that unbelievers experience (See 1 Peter 1:18 and Colossians 1:14).
• One day in the future, I will experience the full extent of my redemption (future tense). That is what Paul is referring to here in verse 30. And the Holy Spirit will remain in my life as a guarantee until that time. Let’s look at a couple of passages that will help us understand what Paul was referring to here.
Let’s look first at the words of Jesus. In Luke 21, Jesus was speaking to His followers about His second coming, and he gave them this exhortation:
When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."
Luke 21:28 (NIV)
In another of his letters, Paul gives us some further insight as well:
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.
Romans 8:22, 23 (NIV)
Taken together, those verses make it clear that the Holy Spirit will dwell permanently in our lives until the time that Jesus returns and that we receive our resurrected bodies. That will complete the process of our redemption. And only then will we no longer need the Holy Spirit to fulfill His role as a seal that guarantees that inheritance.
All of us who have children have been deeply grieved by our kids at some time in our lives. We have watched them engage in behaviors that break our hearts and hurt us because we know that is not what is the best for them. But because we love our children intensely, we would never even consider leaving them or forsaking them during those times. In fact, those are usually the times they need us the most.
Because the Holy Spirit loves us deeply, he will never leave us nor forsake us, even when we grieve Him deeply.
But even though the Holy Spirit loves me and will never leave me, I still don’t want to do anything to grieve Him. So let’s see if we can identify the ways that we grieve the Holy Spirit so that we make sure that we don’t engage in that kind of behavior.
HOW I CAN GRIEVE THE HOLY SPIRIT?
This week, I’ve looked at a lot of sermons and commentaries that answer that question in a manner that is certainly true, but which fail to adequately take into account the context of Paul’s writing.
• For instance, the majority of the writers take the position that every time I sin, I grieve the Holy Spirit. I have absolutely no doubt that is true. Every sin that I commit grieves the Holy Spirit because He knows that is not what is best for me.
• Some take the position that this verse was referring back to verse 29, where Paul instructed his readers to put off unwholesome talk and put on words of edification in order to benefit others. Certainly the connecting word “and” very clearly links this back to what Paul has previously written. And once again, there is absolutely no doubt that our words can grieve the Holy Spirit.
But the more I looked at this passage, the more it seemed to me that we need to view Paul’s command in a much broader context. So let’s go back and look at what Paul has already written in His letter concerning the Holy Spirit. If you have your Bibles, go ahead and take them out and turn to Ephesians chapter 1, and let’s quickly read through those passages:
We’ve already looked at this first one this morning:
And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession - to the praise of his glory.
Ephesians 1:13, 14 (NIV)
I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.
Ephesians 1:17 (NIV)
For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
Ephesians 2:18 (NIV)
And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.
Ephesians 2:22 (NIV)
In reading this, then, you will be able to understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to men in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to God’s holy apostles and prophets.
Ephesians 3:4, 5 (NIV)
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,
Ephesians 3:16 (NIV)
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope when you were called -
Ephesians 4:3, 4 (NIV)
For several reasons, it seems to me that Ephesians 4:3 is the key verse to understanding how we can grieve the Holy Spirit in its proper context:
• Ephesians 4:3, 4 is the closest reference to the Holy Spirit prior to this morning’s passage, so logically it is the one most likely to have a significant bearing on our passage.
• Verse 3, in particular, seems to be an introduction to a section of Scripture that is going to deal with one major topic. It’s what my wife would describe to her 5th graders as a topic sentence for this long paragraph Paul is going to write. And then that paragraph ends in verse 30 with the conclusion. And it is the verses in between those two passages that provide us with the answer to the question of how we can grieve the Holy Spirit. We could illustrate it like this:
[Diagram that shows the answer to our question lies in the verses between verse 3 and verse 30]
So let me ask you a question. Most of you have been here through at least some of the messages that cover that long paragraph – there are only 13 of them. What would you say is the main theme of all those verses between verse 3 and verse 30? [Wait for responses.]
Remember what I said about verse 3? It’s the topic sentence for the paragraph. And if that’s true then Paul’s main theme in these verses must deal with how to preserve unity within the body of Christ.
Paul begins that section by describing seven things we have in common that unite us – one body, one Spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father.
He then goes on to write about the people that Jesus gives to the church for helping the entire body to grow and mature and reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God.
Then, as we’ve seen in the last month or so, Paul exhorts us to put off the old and put on the new in order to preserve harmony in the body. Then he gives us some practical instruction regarding truth, dealing with sin in the body, working hard in order to meet the needs of others, and being careful with our words. The purpose of Paul’s instruction in those areas was clearly to promote harmony within the body.
So I think we’re finally ready to answer the question we asked several minutes ago – How can I grieve the Holy Spirit? Although, as we’ve seen, we could answer that question in broad terms, given the context...
• I grieve the Holy Sprit when I do anything to harm the unity of the body of Christ
Since it is the Holy Spirit who is the agent through which the unity of the body is established in the first place, when I do anything to disrupt, harm, or destroy that harmony, that singleness of purpose and of heart, then I grieve the Holy Spirit.
In fact, the command that Paul gives in verse 30 is not directed to individual believers, but to the body as a whole. He uses the 2nd person plural, which by now we all know means “y’all”. So we could translate verse 30 like this:
Y’all quit grieving the Holy Spirit, with whom y’all were sealed for the day of redemption.
Since Paul has already identified for us the keys to maintaining the unity of the Spirit in Chapter 4, it seems that it would be profitable for us to use that passage as our guide to identify 3 major ways that we can harm the unity of the body:
o Focusing on self rather than on God
In verses 4-6 Paul focused on seven things that unite believers within the body of Christ. And when we looked at that passage we discovered that those seven unifying elements were a picture of the unity of God Himself, as the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit work together within the body to accomplish His purposes.
So when we, as a body, keep our focus on God and His work in our lives, we help to maintain harmony. But when we begin to focus on ourselves instead, then the unity of the body is damaged, sometime irreparably.
One of the biggest threats to the unity and harmony of the church today is the whole concept of the “consumer church” where the people in the body focus on “what’s in it for me”. When we have churches where the majority of the people are there for what they can get out of it rather than how they can contribute to furthering the purposes of God, it’s no wonder that there is conflict and discord.
I think I have probably shared this with you before, but the words are so profound that it won’t hurt us to hear them again. Pastor Bob Hyatt concluded a November 2004 article titled “Escape from Consumer Church” with these words:
If you consider yourself a follower of Christ- you need to know this. The church is not here for you. You are here for the church, your community, and your community, the church is here for the world. Jesus did not die to make you into a sanctified consumer. He died to bring you alive to God and to a desperately needy world.
Fortunately, there is hope in this area. When Thom Rainer and Eric Geiger wrote their book Simple Church a couple of years ago, their research confirmed the principle Paul laid out for us nearly 2,000 years ago. The most successful churches, in spite of what we might think, are those that have a singular focus on making disciples, and not those that have numerous programs intended to meet the varied interests of its people.
That book has had a profound impact on me and was the catalyst that led us as a church to re-evaluate what we were doing and to focus on what is important to God and not to us. And the result of that evaluation was a very simple vision that communicates why we’re here:
• Connecting with God
• Connecting with others
• Caring for our community
If we get our eyes off of that focus and revert to the “what’s in it for me” mentality then we’ll be pulled in as many different directions as there are people. And that obviously destroys the harmony of the body and grieves the Holy Spirit.
o Failing to do my part within the body
In the middle section of Chapter 4, Paul describes how Jesus takes some of His followers, equips them and then gives them back to the church for the purpose of preparing everyone in the body to be able to carry out works of ministry. And in verse 13 Paul makes it clear that when these works of ministry are carried out by everyone in the body, the result is that we all come to unity in our faith and in our knowledge of Jesus.
In our journey through Ephesians, we’ve talked a lot about how the church is a body and just how crucial it is for every member of the body to carry out his or her part within the body. When even one of us fails to do our part, we not only hurt ourselves, we also hurt every other member of the body. As Paul reminds us in Romans, all of us in the body are an integral part of the same body:
Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
Romans 12:4, 5 (NIV)
When I fail to carry out my God-given function within the church and I don’t use the talents, gifts and abilities that God has given to me in a way that furthers His purposes, then I severely damage the unity and harmony of the body. And that grieves the Holy Spirit.
o Reverting back to my old way of life
Beginning in verse 22, Paul described how we are to take off those things that characterized the old way of life and put on the things that are consistent with our new way of life. And he has given us some very practical instruction about what that should look like. When we heed these principles, we promote harmony in the body, but when we violate them, we destroy that unity.
When we revert back to falsehood and we’re not open and transparent with others, when we’re different people the rest of the week than we are on Sunday morning, then we grieve the Holy Spirit because we harm the unity of the body.
When we fail to deal with evident, continual, unrepentant sin within the body, then God is robbed of His glory and we grieve the Holy Spirit.
When we are lazy or we only work to hoard for our own selfish desires, we grieve the Holy Spirit.
And when we use unwholesome talk which tears people down, rather than edifying words of grace that build them up, we grieve the Holy Spirit.
God is doing some amazing things in our body right now. Frankly I’m overwhelmed by what He is doing and very humbled to be a part of that. And I believe that one reason God has been able to do that is because of the unity we have within our local body here at TFC. We are certainly far from perfect, and I know we grieve the Holy Spirit from time to time. But let’s make sure that we do everything that we can to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Let’s be careful not to grieve the Holy Spirit by doing anything to harm the unity of the body.
