(Slide 1) Do you remember the day or days that your children were born? I remember both of those days very well. I would like to think (although I am not sure that a case could be made for it) that Jonathon and Daniel were already acting like preacher’s kids as Jonathon was born on a Sunday afternoon and Daniel was born on a Wednesday night (and almost Thursday morning).
As some of you know, we had been married for 10 years before we started trying to have kids and in the course of that decision, we found out that I needed infertility surgery. And, praise God, it worked!
I was 37 when Jonathon was born, 39, and pushing 40 when Daniel was born. I recall that it took me about a week when we first knew that Susan was pregnant with Jonathon to get used to the idea of having children and that there were many changes to my life and in my life that would occur because of his birth. Their births changed my world and Susan’s world in many amazing and challenging ways. Children are so much fun to have around and they keep us hopping, no matter how old they are!
I have no doubt that every mother here can recall the birth of their children and some of us dads can recall those moments as well when we realized from the first moment of birth how different our children already were at that point.
Children change our lives don’t they? The birth of a child is a major event in a person’s life. Life is never the same when children arrive. It’s not supposed to be the same and a recent column by Kathleen Parker makes that clear.
Perhaps you read her column in the paper a week ago. It was entitled ‘Survival of the Stupidest,’ and she opened with the story of an Englishwoman and an environmentalist named Toni Vernelli.
Parker quotes from an interview featured in London’s Daily Mail newspaper that noted Vernelli, ‘had herself sterilized. Baby-making, she says, is "selfish" and "all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet." In other words, not having children is more environmentally friendly than having kids.
After expressing shock at the environmental self-centeredness of Vernilli and others, Parker goes on to say, ‘Raising children is quantifiably the most persistently unselfish act known to mankind, as millions of veterans of sleepless nights will attest. Parenthood is when "I" takes a backseat to "thou" -- when the infant-self submits to adulthood so that the real infant gets a necessary turn at the well of self-importance.’
We may be shocked and angry at this perspective of kids, but we need to remember Herod’s desire to get rid of Jesus because he was a political inconvenience. A child’s birth does change things. But how do they change things?
(Slide 2) A child’s birth changes three things: our focus, our priorities, and our goals.
Having kids changes our focus because, as Parker put it, the ‘I’ takes a backseat to ‘thou.’ Before there were children, we pretty much could come and go as we please. Once we entered adulthood and the workplace, many of us did not have to worry about all things that we noticed parents worrying about.
We did not have to worry about the noisy and upset child in aisle 5 who wanted ‘Cap’n Crunch’ instead of ‘Cheerios.’ We did not have to worry about leaving the party early because the baby sitter meter was running. We did not have to worry about penciling in five different events on our calendars all going on at the same time. (And wondering how we would get everyone to their assigned destinations.)
However, our shifting focus has also given us the ability to see things in some wonderful ways. For example, Brenda Roberts of Georgia shared the feedback from a group of pre-schoolers regarding the birth of Christ.
‘I was reading the story of Jesus’ birth to [them] one morning,’ she wrote. As usual, I stopped to see if they understood.
"What do we call the three wise men?" I asked. "The three maggots," replied a bright 5-year-old. "What gift did the MAGI bring baby Jesus?" I corrected. "Gold, Frankensteins and smurfs!" the same 5-year-old replied.’
Eventually children give their parents a great gift: Grandchildren! I have always been amused with the bumper sticker that says something like, ‘If would have known how wonderful my grandchildren would be, I would have had them first!’
Author Erica Jong recently wrote in the AARP magazine of the difference having a grandson makes as compared to have raised all daughters. The exuberance of his search, his attention to ‘creepy and crawly’ things, his ways of playing, all have given Jong some positive pause for reflection in having this little boy as part of her family and life.
In our main text, Mary and Joseph’s focus would change from being just another couple of newlyweds to become the human parents of God’s Son and our savior. They are now a key part of God’s plans and purpose. They have the important task of raising Jesus. They are key persons in the salvation of the world although as we later read in Luke 2 when they desperately search for him on a trip back from Jerusalem, they did not fully understand his mission and purpose when He said, “You should have known that I would be in my Father’s house.” However, they loved Jesus and they provided for Him as good parents do.
Children change our priorities as well. I knew that in becoming a father my priorities would change. Yet I did not realize how much they would change.
One of my priorities that changed, and it was a good change, was the time I had to myself on my days off. Before fatherhood, I would have time to go by myself to watch airplanes at our local airports while I read. Go to the mall or local bookstores and browse. Susan and I would have time for us as well but often, especially when she was working, Friday mornings were her work time.
When the boys came along, I simply incorporated time with them into my day off activities. We would go to a park, even with snowsuits on, and play on the playground. I would load up juice and snacks for the boys and we would walk the mall (where I would get some interesting looks) and while they snacked, I drank a cup of coffee.
As the boys have gotten older, scheduling their events into my calendar has been a priority. I think that I have missed very few, games or concerts or other events. (And I have Susan to thank as well for helping me with this.)
Joseph and Mary probably expected to become parents at some point in their marriage. I don’t they figured to become Jesus’ parents.
But children do change our priorities just as they change our focus. Certain things that we did before kids are no longer essential or important. Instead of an additional round of golf or extra hour of fishing, that time becomes the hour of rag ball practice or a trip to the dentist for the annual check up.
Finally having children changes our goals. One of my goals in life has been to travel to Europe. I may get to do that someday, and I may not. For now however, that is a goal that I set aside and exchange for the goal of helping my kids have good physical health by paying health insurance and doctor’s visits.
I have been privileged to go many places and do many things. However, when the boys came along, my vacation goals were one of the biggest changes I had to make.
I think that one of the biggest challenges in parenting is this changing of goals because when you become a parent, certain personal goals are no longer feasible. One’s role as a parent is more important than the personal goals one has for oneself.
Having time to and for one’s self is important. Self-care is essential for a parent to be a better parent. But putting one’s personal goals ahead of one’s children is not a good thing.
As I said earlier, Joseph and Mary did expect to become parents but not in the way, that Matthew and Luke record. In fact, the announcements to both Joseph and Mary that God’s messengers make clear that the purpose of Joseph and Mary’s son is not to be anybody but to be the savior of the world!
Matthew records, “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to go ahead with your marriage to Mary. For the child within her has been conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” Luke records, ‘You will become pregnant and have a son, and you are to name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!”
Now my kids and your kids are not Jesus. They are not royal blood. But they are important to God. Jesus died on the cross for their sins as well as ours.
They are truly God’s, just as we are truly the Lord’s as well, and as we approach another Christmas, and as we will be reminded by ‘our’ kids next Sunday of Jesus’ birth, I remind us this morning of the importance of the baby in the manger. What impact has Jesus had on your focus, goals, and priorities as it relates to your own life and the lives of your family?
Some of us here this morning, are parents with young or younger children. We are just beginning the journey of parenthood. I pray that you will ask the Lord for help in this season of parenting and that you will allow God, through the Holy Spirit, to help you develop and carry out the right focus, goals, and priorities in both your life and your family life.
Some of us here this morning, are parents with teens and pre-teens. We are either entering or in a new chapter in our parenting and family life. The landscape has or is changing. Our relationship with our kids is changing and while we are still ‘their parents’ our influence is a different kind of influence. I pray that God will help you in this season to empower your kids to live the life that God has for them and that the new focus, goals, and priorities that are a part of this season are God’s.
Others of us here are at a different season. Some call it the empty nest season. The kids are gone. They are in college or out of the house living on their own. They are close by and far away. Others of us in this season are launching kids out at the end of High School and college. We are still active in our parenting but in a few years (or even months) that will all change. We are left with memories and mixed feelings as our kids move on. I pray that God will help you in this season to see new possibilities for the focus, goals, and priorities that you are to make at this point and to affirm you in good ways.
Then there are those of us who are grandparents or great-grandparents. We have a great opportunity in this season whether or not we have been ‘grampy’ or ‘grammy’ for a short or long period of time to be used by the Lord to influence the life of the new generation. I pray that the Lord will sharpen your focus, revision your goals, and adjust your priorities in this time and season.
And some of us here are not in these categories. We are in a different place for what ever reason and for some of us it is a frustrating place to be. I pray that God will remind you of His good focus, goals, and priorities for you and those you love.
(Slide 3) Jesus is the reason for this season. Our children need to hear it and see it in us. May the Spirit help us not to just tell the story but live it this season and every season... to all the children everywhere. Amen.
Parker’s article can be found at townhall.com
Brenda Roberts’ story was found at sermoncentral.com
Power Points for this sermon are available by e-mailing me at pastorjim46755@yahoo.com and asking for ‘120907slides’ Please note that all slides for a particular presentation may not be available.
