Some people have friends. Some people have enemies. Most people have acquaintances. But everybody has people you do business with. The people you do business with -- usually, that’s not an intimate relationship. It’s distant, it’s limited to transactions. We deal with people who may not even know our names, but who just do business with us. We don’t really expect them to care much about us.
I go to the grocery store near my home. I see the same faces week after week at the checkout counter. They are polite and I am polite. We say hello to each other and occasionally exchange comments about the weather. But I don’t attempt to have a close relationship with these folks. They are checkers and baggers and I am a customer, and that’s that. I don’t ask them to care about me, and they don’t ask me to care about them beyond paying the bill. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.
However, one day, one of those checkout ladies stepped out of her business-only role for a moment. I had developed the habit, whenever my wife sent me to the grocery, of picking up something sugary as my “reward” for doing the shopping. Yes, I know fried pies are not good for me. But I enjoy that sweet rush. Well, the checkout lady had noticed my habit, and, as she picked up a lemon fried pie to put it into my bag, she said, “You know, don’t you, that these are pure garbage, nothing but sugar and fat!” Wow! Never had anybody try NOT to sell me something! What was going on? Is it possible she actually cares about me?
Every now and then someone acts as though he or she wants to care about you. What do you make of it when that happens?
Let’s try again. The phone rings, and the caller starts off as though he is your dearest long-lost friend. “Hey, Joseph, how are you doing? I hope you had a great holiday!” Now right away I am suspicious, because nobody has called me “Joseph” since I was a little boy, and it usually meant that I was in trouble! So to this caller I mumble, “Uh-huh.” “Uh-huh” means “I am not telling you anything, get on with it.” So then it comes, “I want to save you some money.” “You can trade in your Visa card for one with lower interest.” “We can give you replacement windows for 50% off.” And the real topper: “Our driveway repair crew is on your street today, and we can make you a deal.” These folks act as though they want to be my friends; they make noises as if they care about me. But I know that the bottom line is business. They want to make money from me. Is it at all possible that they would actually care about me?
There are a lot of folks who sound as though they care. But do they really? How will we find out who really cares?
The wonderfully rich story of the infant Jesus and those who surrounded Him just after His birth gives us some clues. A number of folks expressed interest in Jesus. If we find out who really cared about Him, that will give us clues about who really cares about us.
I
First, there was King Herod. King Herod expressed an interest in Jesus. It sounded pretty authentic. When the wise men came to Jerusalem, asking where the new king would be born, the old king, taken by surprise, sent them off with a command, “Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.” He sounds like he cares.
But of course you and I know that wasn’t the king’s intention at all. He had no plan whatsoever to climb down from his throne and lay his crown at the feet of some squalling peasant infant. In one of history’s most awesome atrocities – sadly, neither the first nor the last of its kind -- King Herod ordered the death of every child of two years or less around the little town of Bethlehem. Massive overkill; ruthless, heartless, senseless carnage, masked by the pretense of friendship, “Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.”
Not on your life! Not everyone who pretends to care actually does care. Not everyone who makes all the right noises is going to help. Why this pretense at caring, but in reality a destructive heart? Here is the clue, right in the text: “When King Herod heard … he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him.” He was frightened and all Jerusalem with him.
I say again, not everyone who pretends to care actually does care. Sometimes they are frightened, and fear makes people do desperate, destructive things. If you have a fearful person in your life, you have a dangerous situation. And then if that fearful person is reinforced by other fearful people – King Herod and all Jerusalem -- it doesn’t matter how much they tell you they care. They don’t care for anything except their own skins. Frightened people cannot see anything else. They are dangerous. I am scared of scared people!
So how do you find out who really cares? You know who does not care if you detect fear piled upon fear. You know who does not care for anything except his own status if you discover that in his heart there is nothing but fear.
A lawyer friend of mine, who is something of a specialist in church conflict, was asked to intervene in a church that was undergoing a lot of stress. He found that the pastor of that church was an autocrat, who routinely laid down the law. He arbitrarily removed people from office. He demanded that the members do as they were told. He actually asked to see their tax returns so that he could determine whether they were tithing! Why would anybody act this way? Because this pastor was afraid. He saw the church declining. Many of its members were leaving. The man knew he was losing it. He was afraid. And so he tried to force this church to succeed. When my friend began to look at the situation, he found not only a fearful pastor, but also a fearful people. The people of the church were running away, deserting the sinking ship. A frightened leader in a frightened crowd, each one making the other more fearful, and thus destroying the whole church.
Oh, I urge you to banish fear from the life of this church. I ask you not to be afraid of your future as a people of God. If you let fear take over here, it will destroy everything you have built. Fear will poison everything. If you are afraid that your church will not succeed, then that fear will infect those you hope to reach, and of course they will not respond. If you are scared about the financial responsibilities you have taken on, wallets will close and hearts will clamp shut. People who are frightened cannot really care for anything but themselves, and they will lash out destructively. So hear the word of the Lord, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds … [and, may I add, your church] … in Christ Jesus.”. Banish fear from this place!
How do you find out who really cares? Watch out for the folks who feel threatened and who are reinforced by a fearful atmosphere. They will do you harm and not good.
II
But, happily, King Herod is not the central character in this story. This story does not revolve around him. This is the story of wise men who came bringing gifts to the infant Jesus. These were folks who weren’t quite sure what they were doing, but who just followed a star and brought some gifts to give.
These men, says the Scripture, followed “the star they had seen at its rising, until it stopped over the place where the child was ... and they knelt down and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.”
The wise men really cared. How do I know this? Two things: they really cared about Jesus because they followed His star from its rising; and they gave Him gifts for His future.
They followed His star from its rising; that means they chose to believe, from the very beginning, that there would be meaning in their long journey. And they chose to give something for the future, even though it had little meaning at that moment.
Think of setting out on a journey, over moor and mountain, when you do not know where you are going – only that a rising star is leading you. These men had faith; and faith is a key ingredient in caring. I have to have faith that those for whom I care are worth my love.
And then, the gifts. Now just what is baby Jesus going to do with gold, frankincense, and myrrh? How is this kid going to spend gold, burn incense, and splash himself with myrrh? Wise men, if you are so wise, why didn’t you bring him a teddy bear or a pacifier?! Stuff he could use right now? But wise people, caring people, give gifts that express their faith in the future. Wise people, caring people, give gifts that have meaning down the road, gifts that will become useful some day.
Wise men, caring people, follow the star, right from its rising, they believe in you; and they bring you gifts that will strengthen your future.
When I was twelve years old, my brother and I both received very special Christmas gifts. The two of us were the youngest of my Grandmother Smith’s nine grandchildren. That year there were identical packages for my brother and me, and each of them contained a note. The note said, “As each one of my grandchildren has graduated from high school, I have given them a Bible. Now I am eighty years old, and think I may not live long enough to see the two of you graduate. So I am giving you your Bibles now.”
Well, at that moment, I thought I would have preferred trucks and trains and bells and whistles. But I see it very differently now. You see, my grandmother believed in me, from the very get-go, from the rising of my star; and she gave me something that really mattered for my life. Something I needed, more than I knew. In fact, in her memory, I am using that very Bible today; tattered and worn though it is! My grandmother believed in me from the rising of my star, and gave me a gift that would shape my future. That’s how I know she cared for me.
You say you care? You say you care for children, for example? Then give them education, not just I-pods. Give them spiritual guidance, not just video games. Give them a home where love reigns supreme. Give them a city where they can walk the streets in safety. And give them a church permeated with love and measured by excellence. If you really care, do something bold this year! Invest time and treasure, talent and truth in this church, so that not only will it provide joy for you at this moment, but so also it will foster hope and guidance for generations yet unborn.
How do you find out who really cares? Someone wise enough to believe in you from the rising of the star and who gives you something meaningful for your future.
III
But there is one more person in this story. One more way to find out who really cares. There is Joseph. Don’t forget about Joseph.
Poor old Joseph might have said, “This is not my fight, this is not my problem. My wife says this is God’s baby, not mine. I have already trucked her down to Bethlehem, I have already endured oxen and asses, shepherds and angels. I have already been laughed at enough. This is not my problem.” And who could blame Joseph for any of that?
But how do you know a person who really cares? Look at Joseph, who made a sacrifice to be obedient to God’s calling. He chose to give up his own preferences, to sacrifice his own convenience, in order to be obedient to God’s will.
The angel said to Joseph, “‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.’ Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod.”
If you want to find out who really cares, find out who sets aside his own comfort in order to protect you. If you want to know who truly cares, discover who is willing to sacrifice for you. Find that teacher who teaches, not for the paycheck, but because she cares about her students. Find that counselor who listens, not because he has a reputation to uphold, but because he wants to invest time in your life. Call to your church a pastor who does not count hours on the clock but measures souls in the heart. Look for someone who is not caught up in titles, salaries, and status, but who just loves those put under his or her wings.
How do you find out who really cares? Look at the painful places and see who is there. Who will get up and go to Egypt, inconvenient as it may be? Who is tutoring a child in danger of failure? Who is sitting at the bedside of the sick and the dying? Those who get up and sacrifice are the ones who really care. My wife and I were at a dinner at our church, and found ourselves at a table with someone we didn’t know. As we asked this elderly gentleman about himself, he told us that his wife had died a couple of years back. He said that the only way he got through her dying was that our pastor sat with him in the hospital every single day until the end! What a testimony to the sort of person who really cares! Every day, at the hospital, when I am sure there were plenty of other things my pastor could have been doing. But he cares enough to get up and sacrifice.
Do you want to find out who really cares? Look for those who will set aside their own comforts to protect and provide. Those who choose not to worry about bank accounts or the latest fashions, those who see no future in creature comforts or in empty entertainments. Those who make the Kingdom of God first priority, and who believe that the work of Christ is the pearl of great price worth pursuing above all things.
Who really cares? Those who ask not, “What does this church do for me?” but who ask, “What can I do for the Kingdom of God through this church?”
How do you find out who really cares? Watch out for the King Herods, who care only for position and who, when frightened, will do destructive things. Stay away from fear-driven people; they do not care for you.
How do you find out who really cares? Discover those wise enough to have believed in you right from the start and who give gifts that will provide meaning for the future.
How do you find out who really cares? Prize those who are like Joseph, obeying the call of God to sacrifice convenience, getting up for the sake of others.
How do you find out who really cares, most of all? I point you to the babe of Bethlehem, who made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Himself the form of a servant. He was not afraid; He cares.
I turn you to Jesus, who loved us before we ever loved Him. He loved us from the very foundation of the world, and gave the most precious gift of all, His life. He cares.
I summon you to Christ, for while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He who knew no sin was made to be sin for us. Through His sacrifice we have life eternal.
Oh, let it be loud and clear. If you would find out who really cares, this is your evidence:
“No one ever cared for me like Jesus. There’s no other friend so kind as He. No one else could take the sin and darkness from me – O how much He cared for me!”
