Working It Out Jesus’ Way (Part 2)
Matthew 18:15-20
July 1, 2007
NOTE: PORTIONS OF THIS MESSAGE BASED ON THE BOOK, “THE 10 DUMBEST THINGS CHRISTIANS DO,” BY MARK ATTEBERRY
Last week I mentioned that I’m a conflict-avoider. I don’t like conflict, and I’d be thrilled if I never had to mess with it again, ever in my lifetime.
Well, that hasn’t changed in the last week.
If anything, as I’ve worked on this message and next week’s, I found myself going over some of the conflict situations I’ve found myself in, even over the last year or so.
And I lose my appetite.
I wonder if maybe many of you feel the same way.
I’m not sure I know anybody who just looks to pick a fight among fellow believers for the sake of destroying fellowship with them.
If that were the case, I would honestly have to wonder if they really know Jesus at all.
But if I could show you a way that, if handled correctly and in the right spirit, would lessen the negative impacts of conflict in the church between believers, and could actually have a positive impact on those involved, would you like to know about it?
That’s my goal for today.
I want to show you a way to address conflict in the church that if handled correctly and in the right spirit, can bring healing and restoration for those involved, and glory to Jesus.
A way that can make it less likely for you to have to reach for something to kill the indigestion that can come with conflict.
Once again, we look to the words of Jesus, because as we established last week, Jesus owns the Church, and He’s the best one to tell us how things should be done regarding it.
Matthew 18:15-20 (starts on p. 695) –
15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Last week the point I tried to hammer home was the idea that personal conflict needs to be taken care of between the individuals whenever possible, and that to talk about the person instead of to the person was the wrong way to go about it.
In fact, I said –
If you haven’t talked the offender, it’s sin to talk to anyone else.
It’s a sin because Jesus says we’re supposed to go that person.
And by the way, I think this includes situations where a person may not be sinning against you personally, but may be living a lifestyle that is sinful according to Scripture.
Let’s say you know someone in an adulterous relationship. They may not be sinning against you, but they need to be confronted about it, because the Bible demands that we address it.
But what happens when you’ve approached the person, you’ve shown them their sin, and they refuse to acknowledge and turn away from it and they refuse correction and restoration?
Well, assuming you approached the person in humility, seeking to restore them instead of beat them down, you have more options.
But as I said last week, if people would actually follow what Jesus says in verse 15, there would be very little need for verses 16-20.
Verses 16-20 delve into an area that few churches are brave enough to actually deal with: the area of church discipline.
This is an area where Jesus gives the church and its leaders authority over the people who make up the church, and commands them to act on His behalf toward a sinning member of that community.
Persons subject to church discipline obviously don’t enjoy it, and it can cause not only hard feelings, it can result in a person being removed from the local church until they repent.
And if the person being disciplined is a board member’s daughter or a big giver in the church, the fallout can be pretty massive.
So you can see why churches and pastors are reluctant to move forward, in spite of the fact that Jesus says it’s the best way – both for the church and for the individual involved in the sinful action.
But why is it the best way? Well, let’s work our way through this passage, and I’d like to look at five reasons that I can see why working it out Jesus’ way is the best way for all involved.
1. Handled correctly, church discipline weeds out the truth of the matter.
Verse 16 –
“16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ’every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.”
The idea is that you contact some people to be witnesses when you confront the person this second time in a private setting.
You don’t tell them all of what’s going on, you let them determine the truth based on the confrontation
If you tell them about what’s going on, then you are causing them to prejudge the person and the situation in your favor, and causing them look down on the other person before hearing both sides.
In logic this is called, “poisoning the well.” And I’m sure from just the metaphor you can tell that it’s a negative proposition.
They are not there to support you necessarily, they are there to witness the confrontation.
In each of these first two levels, the goal and desire is that the person will repent. If not in the first private confrontation, then hopefully in the second private confrontation in front of witnesses.
If that works, everyone wins, and most people in the church never need to know what happened. It can, and should, stay on that personal level.
2. Handled correctly, church discipline purifies the Body of believers.
If the person refuses to repent of their sin after these two previous opportunities to repent, then the church is to become involved.
At this point, the person in sin is being shown to be someone who is probably not interested in living for Christ, and is not interested in keeping harmony in the church.
Left alone, these people influence others to sin, and bring dissension in the Body, both of which Jesus condemns, because they poison the Church.
So what does Jesus tell us to do? Give them one more chance to repent.
Verse 17 –
“17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Usually when this happened in the context of the synagogue in Jesus’ day, it was taken to the elders of the synagogue for action, since they represented the congregation.
If this person refuses to listen to the rebuke of the church or its leadership, then this person is revealed for what they really are: a wolf among the sheep.
And folks, there is no way around the fact that wolves have no place around the sheep. They need to be removed.
That’s why Jesus says that if there is no repentance, you are to treat the person as someone who is not even part of the family of God.
They are to be removed from the fellowship of the church, not allowed to attend or be part of the family function.
They need to be removed, like the poisonous cancer they are.
Harsh? Maybe. But what’s worse? Offending someone who has shown that they don’t care for Jesus or the health of His Church, or letting them continue to feed on the sheep like ravenous wolves, destroying the flock for which Jesus died?
It seems to me that we need to be more worried about offending Jesus than offending someone who is hurting the church.
These next two points aren’t found in the Scripture passage, but they reflect what I’ve found in my research about this topic.
And these are important to note, because if these things are present, then the process runs the danger of becoming a tribunal or inquisition, and that was never Jesus’ intention.
3. Handled correctly, church discipline is an exercise in grace-filled humility.
The purpose of church discipline isn’t to throw rocks at a sinner. The purpose is not to show how much more spiritual mature and holy we are.
The purpose is to restore the person, not just to the fellowship of the church, but to Jesus. That’s the ultimate goal.
So if you think the issue here is that Jesus is giving us a way to get rid of people we don’t like, guess again.
If anything, this process is a tool for keeping people, not getting rid of them.
4. Handled correctly, church discipline always benefits the church.
This process is tough. I’ve personally never been involved in any cases of church discipline on the level where it involves the putting out of a person, but I’ve seen discipline in exercised in churches I’ve attended.
It’s not pretty, but in the end, it has always served to benefit the church body.
It serves to strengthen the unity of the Body around the important issues of the Church – things like doctrine, lifestyle, and mission.
It preserves unity and peace in the church. Without those, folks, we have no power to effectively reach the world for Jesus because we’re shackled by the tolerance of the very thing Jesus came to take care of – sin.
(Atteberry book, pp. 181-182)
5. Handled correctly, church discipline is blessed and affirmed by Jesus Himself.
Verses 18-20 –
18 "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
19 "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
For some of you, this is a new thought regarding these verses, especially verses 19-20.
Unlike what I was taught in my early days as a Christian, these verses have nothing to do with fellowship or answered prayer, at least in the generic meaning.
These words of Jesus are given in the context of church discipline, and that is how they need to be applied.
Back in chapter 16, we first run into the words of Jesus saying to the disciples what we find Him saying to them again here in verse 18 –
“…whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
And in that message I said that this whole “binding and loosing” thing can be boiled down to this:
“We’re saying, ‘This is what God approves or disapproves of, in terms of how to get to heaven and how to live.’ And heaven approves and disapproves of it as well. Why? Because God’s Word approves or disapproves of it.” (Source unknown)
In this context, “binding” means the infliction of the penalty of removing someone from the fellowship of the church.
“Loosing” refers to withholding the penalty or removing in cases where the person repents and decides to live under the submission of Christ and His Church.
But what gives this binding and loosing its power and effectiveness is the fact that when the church does this, assuming the right handling and the right motives, the decision of the church is ratified in heaven.
When it’s handled correctly, Jesus Himself agrees with the decision and stands behind it.
That is what is behind verses 19-20.
He’s saying that if the church leaders agree on what should be done with a person under church discipline, then He’ll be there in both the decision and its implementation.
Now hopefully this will serve notice to the offender that this is serious stuff – so serious that Jesus gets involved.
And it should also serve notice that the responsibilities of church leaders in this regard are huge – this is not a process to be entered into lightly or quickly, because the weight of heaven stands behind their handling of it.
Not too long ago I came across a story of Abraham Lincoln, who had been invited by a friend to go to a service featuring a special speaker. Apparently the speaker was eloquent and otherwise well-spoken.
After the service, the friend asked Mr. Lincoln what he thought. He said that the speaker was fine, doing all the things a good speaker should, in terms what it takes to make a good speech.
But he was disappointed in the message. And here is why: “He asked nothing great of us.”
Every week I try to encourage you to take action regarding the Scriptures we look at. I wonder sometimes, though, if I ask enough great things of you.
Today I’m going to ask something great of you. And here it is:
Commit to working it out Jesus’ way.
Commit to submitting to the authority of Jesus when handling conflict between yourself and other believers.
Commit to following the process IN THE ORDER Jesus gives it.
Refuse to allow others to go around the words of Jesus by holding them accountable to them. Refuse to allow yourself to be dragged into situations where the words of Jesus are disregarded about His own possession, the Church.
The Church is His. He invented it. He loves it so much He died for it. And He says that this procedure is the best way to protect and preserve it.
Please don’t tell Jesus He doesn’t know what He’s talking about.
Don’t let arrogance or hurt pride drive you to handling conflict in sinful ways. It does absolutely no good, and nothing good can come from it.
Commit to working it out Jesus’ way.
Why is this a great thing?
For starters, because so few have the strength of character to do it, in spite the fact that Jesus commands it.
It’s a great thing because it shows the church that we are dedicated to His Lordship in every area of its being.
It’s a great thing because it shows the church that we are dedicated to the purity, the peace, and the unity of the Church, and that we will not allow sin to divide it.
It’s a great thing because it shows the world that we really DO believe that when we do things Jesus’ way, He’ll take care of it and we don’t need to rely on worldly attitudes and actions to solve the problems within the church.
So will you do this great thing?
I wish with everything in me that I could force you to sign some form of document that says you commit to doing this.
Then if a situation were to arise, I could show you that you committed to handling things Jesus’ way, and hold you accountable to it.
As it is, I’m going to believe that everyone here wants what’s best for the church, and that you are willing to submit to Jesus’ words about it.
And you can be sure that I will point you to these Scriptures as necessary.
My hope is that you will hold yourselves and each other accountable as well.
But it takes guts. It’s not easy to do this, and that’s one of the reasons so few churches will do it.
Maybe you don’t think you have the guts now. That’s okay. Ask Jesus to give you the guts to serve Him and His church in this great way.
I guarantee you He’ll say yes to that prayer.
Conflict hurts more than just the people directly involved. Did you know that?
I mentioned last week that conflict is part of the world we live in, and it’s part of the church here on earth.
We won’t be completely rid of conflict until we’re face to face with Jesus.
So the question isn’t, “How do we avoid conflict?” The question is, “How do we handle it in a way that honors Christ?”
There is only one way to do that. You handle it the way Jesus says to handle it.
Gossip, backbiting, slander, and rumor have no place in this process. There’s plenty of that in the world, and plenty of that among Christians, as sinful as all that is.
Let’s show the world that we’re not like the rest of the crowd, because we’re willing to take Jesus at His Word.
Let’s be a church Body that is committed to taking the high road instead of the gutter.
That’s my hope for us. I hope it’s yours as well.
Let’s pray.
