Twelve Steps To Recovery Part 1
Scripture: Romans 7:14-25; James 1:23-24; 2 Kings 5:1-15
Introduction
As we begin a new year, I am led to do this series on the “Twelve Steps to Recovery” based on the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I will not present the entire series over twelve straight weeks as I want to ensure that I give it due diligence. As we embark on this series, I only ask that you, in your own study time, study this with me. This subject matter came to me as I was reflecting on how many New Years resolutions I have made that never were fully realized. I also thought about those things that many of us have tried to walk away from but continue to find ourselves still doing. It brought to mind what Paul said in Romans 7:15 which say “For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.” Have you ever felt like that, that you were doing something you know to be wrong but could not find the power to break yourself from it? It was frustrating to Paul also as he stated in verse 24 of the same chapter Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?” In the last verse of this chapter, Paul answers his own question, Jesus Christ. All of us have things that are a part of our lives that shouldn’t be. Although we have tried to rid ourselves from them, they continue to plague us. This is our year for freedom, our year of recovery!
Sometimes we are powerless because of our station in life. We may be in a situation where other people have power over us. We may feel that we are trapped by the demands of others and that there’s no way to please them all. Sometimes we feel stuck and frustrated with our relationships and we look for a measure of control by escaping through our addictive behaviors. These behaviors are not always linked to alcohol or other substances that individuals become addictive to, but often times are certain behaviors and sinful activities that we are prone to do because it gives us some level of fulfillment and excitement and escape from our everyday lives. Please understand, if you think that this message is not for you because you are not addictive to alcohol or drugs, then you are mistaken. Addictive behaviors comes in many forms and packages and they can all put us into slavery where we are no longer free to walk in what God has given us.
By definition, addictive behavior is any activity, substance, object, or behavior that has become the major focus of a person’s life to the exclusion of other activities, or that has begun to harm the individual or others physically, mentally, or socially. A person can become addicted, dependent, or compulsively obsessed with anything and therefore addiction is not limited to just alcohol or other substances. Some researchers imply that there are similarities between physical addiction to various chemicals, such as alcohol and heroin, and psychological dependence to activities such as compulsive gambling, sex, work, running, shopping, or eating disorders.
I am not a psychologist but in my reading I found that there is a link between compulsive behaviors and addiction. Compulsive behaviors are often repetitive and seemingly purposeful and are often performed in a ritualistic manner or in certain situations that a person faces. These behaviors may involve sex, food, caffeine, nicotine, gambling, spending, TV watching, Internet surfing, reading, cleaning, washing, drugs or alcohol. The key point is that the activity is not connected to the purpose it appears to be directed to – something else is driving the behavior other than the need for the activity in and of itself. For example, a person who is afraid of bonding with a partner may choose to zone out in front of the TV every evening, or a person who has never experienced enough love filling up on a gallon of ice cream. It is thought that these behavior activities may produce chemicals (beta-endorphins) in the brain which makes the person feel "high." Some experts suggest that if a person continues to engage in the activity to achieve this feeling of well-being and euphoria, he/she may get into an addictive cycle. In so doing, he/she becomes physically addicted to his/her own brain chemicals, thus leading to continuation of the behavior even though it may have negative health or social consequences. Addiction differs from compulsion in that it will inevitably escalate. As it escalates, a web of deceit, cover-ups, and detachment will follow depending on the situation. Harmful consequences can be external, such as a loss of a job or internal as in detachment, depression, lack of ability to feel or concentrate. There may also be physical consequences such as illness, hypertension and memory loss.
What I have just shared with you is what you will find in the medical texts if you research addictive behaviors. These are behaviors that are often over time become obvious to those we interact with consistently. But what about those “other” addictive behaviors that we have that may not be known to others? Consider the person who lies even though there is absolutely no reason to do so. Or the man who cannot control his eyes and is constantly undressing every woman he sees. What about the person who no matter what situation they find themselves in, operates from a viewpoint that it is going to turn out bad? How about that person with the computer filled with pornographic images and who lives another life on the internet and cannot seem to find a way to stop? Are these also a form of addictive behavior? Yes, absolutely and that brings us to the 12-Step program for recovery.
I. The Twelve-Steps To Recovery
A twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles for recovery from addictive, compulsive, or other behavioral problems originally developed by the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) for recovery from alcoholism. The Twelve Steps were originally published in the first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1939. This method has been adapted as the foundation of other twelve step programs such as Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Co-Dependents Anonymous and Emotions Anonymous. Working the twelve steps involves the following: admitting that one cannot control one’s addiction or compulsion; recognizing a greater power that can give strength; examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member); making amends for these errors; learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior; and helping others that suffer from the same addictions or compulsions.
Twelve-step programs symbolically represent human structure in three dimensions: physical, mental and spiritual. The disorders and diseases the groups deal with are understood to manifest themselves in each dimension. The twelve-step process is intended to replace self-centeredness with a growing moral consciousness and a willingness for self-sacrifice and unselfish constructive action. The twelve-steps that we will use throughout this series as adapted from the AA twelve-step program are as follows:
1. We admitted that we were powerless over our problems – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. We humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings.
8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. We continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Let us begin with the first step.
II. Step 1: Admitting we were powerless over our problems – that our lives had become unmanageable.
The first step involves our looking in the mirror, being honest with ourselves and remembering what we see. James speaks to this when he said “For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.” (James 1:23-24) James was speaking to a person who hears God’s word but forgets it. I want to take it a step further. Under normal circumstances, when we look in the mirror we see ourselves, flaws and imperfections, but we see ourselves. When we walk away, we remember what we look like and what we saw in the mirror. For someone who is dealing with an addiction, when they behold themselves in the mirror, although they physically see what everyone else sees, in their mind they see what they “were” before the addiction. Even if they see a face that they recognize as being addicted to something, when they walk away, the addiction rationalizes itself as not being “that” bad. You may have known someone who was a “social” drinker and found a way to “socialize” several times a day. Although they saw themselves as a social drinker, they were an alcoholic. In the first step towards recovery we must take our blinders off and acknowledge that we have a problem that we cannot solve. Whatever our addiction, we will not be able to overcome it without first recognizing that we are addicted. It does not matter what the addiction, drugs, alcohol, laziness, whatever, in the first step we must acknowledge our addiction and that we are powerless to overcome it. When we fail to acknowledge the truth, we continue to deceive ourselves.
Self deception is a dangerous state of mind. The book of Judges records the story of Samson, the strongest man ever to live. Samson was one of Israel’s judges whom as a child were dedicated to God. God gave Samson supernatural strength, but Samson still had a lifelong weakness, the way he related to women. Samson was especially blinded to the dangers he faced in his relationship with Delilah. His enemies were paying her to discover the secret of his strength. Three times she begged Samson to tell her his secret and three times he lied to her. Finally, Samson revealed his secret and was taken captive and died a slave in enemy hands. Samson’s real problem can be found in the lies he told himself. By not admitting his powerlessness, he remained blind to the obvious danger that his pride and desire for beautiful foreign women were leading him into. This caused him to gradually inch his way toward an untimely death. When we deceive ourselves about our addictions, we take no steps towards dealing with them thus we take no steps towards recovery. Turn with me to 2 Kings chapter 5, I want to illustrate a point.
III. The Healing of Naaman
It can be very humiliating to admit that we are powerless, especially if we are used to being in control. We may be powerful in some areas of our life, but out of control in terms of our addictive/compulsive behavior. If we refuse to admit our powerlessness, we may lose everything, including our lives. Consider this story of Naaman.
“Now Naaman, a captain of the army of the king of Aram, was a great man with his master, and highly respected because by him the Lord had given victory to Aram. The man was also a valiant warrior, but he was a leper.” (vs. 1)
The first thing we should note about Naaman is that he was a very successful warrior who had the admiration of his king. He was the commander of the king’s army and had been very victorious. His men had a lot of respect for him and any order he gave was immediately followed. With this kind of respect and prestige, it can be understood why he would be hesitant to admit that he was powerless. Many of us sitting here today, or those of you reading this via email, are in positions of authority. When you speak, people listen and do what you tell them to do. When in a position of power, it can be extremely difficult to admit that you are not in control. This is what Naaman was faced with – he was not in control of his leprosy and there was nothing that he could do about it. As you continue reading the story, Naaman’s army had invaded and captured Israel. One of the individuals who were taken captive was a young girl who was given to Naaman’s wife as a maid. One day the girl said to her mistress that we wished Naaman would go and see the prophet in Samaria who could heal him. Naaman’s wife told him and after conferring with the king, he decided to go and visit the prophet. Naaman went to the king of Israel who could not heal him. The kin of Israel became very afraid, thinking that this was a setup. Elisha heard about the situation and told the king of Israel to send Naaman to him. Let’s take up the story at verse nine.
“So Naaman came with his horses and his chariots, and stood at the doorway of the house of Elisha. And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying ‘Go and wash in the Jordan seven times and your flesh shall be restored to you and you shall be clean. But Naaman was furious and went away and said, ‘he will surely come out to me, and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper. Are not Abanah and Pharpar, the rivers of Damacus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?’ So he turned and went away in a rage.” (vs. 9-12)
This tells us a lot about Naaman’s state of mind. He was a man who was used to being served, people being in awe of him. He expected this same treatment from Elisha. So when he arrived at Elisha’s home, Elisha would not even come out and see him. He sent a servant to talk to him. Naaman was furious that Elisha did not think enough of him to come out and talk to him. Then when he heard what the servant said about where he was to wash, he became even more angry. (The Jordan River was not known for being very clean.) Naaman wanted the benefits of the healing but he did not want to admit that he was powerless. He arrived at Elisha’s tent in full control and in complete power. Elisha was supposed to come out and serve him as everyone else did. This is the typical reaction of someone in authority when they interact with others whom they deem lesser than themselves. Naaman expected that his power would buy him an easy cure, without him having to do anything, but that was not the case. Finally Naaman’s servants came to him and basically asked him why he was so upset. They asked him if he would have been upset had he been asked to do something great in order to be healed. After talking to his servants, Naaman did as Elisha had instructed him and he was healed. Look at what he said in verse 15: “When he returned to the man of God with all of his company, and came and stood before him, he said ‘Behold, now I know that there is no God in all Israel; so please take a present from your servant now.”
It was difficult for Naaman to admit that he was powerless over his situation and that he needed Someone greater than himself. Our “diseases” are as life threatening as Naaman’s leprosy. They slowly separate us from our family and our God and lead us toward the destruction of everything important to us. There is no instant or easy cure. The only answer is to admit our powerlessness, humble ourselves and submit to the process that will eventually bring about recovery.
Conclusion Step 1
The first step is to admit that we are powerless over our dependencies, whatever they may be, and that our lives have become unmanageable. Whatever your addiction, are you willing to take the first step? Are you willing to be honest with yourself first and recognize your situation and then tell God that you know that you cannot fix your situation on your own? Will you join me for I am truly tired of repeating and living with some of the same “habits” I have had for years? There are times when we are so confused and overwhelmed by the pain in our lives that we wish we could die. No matter what we do, we are powerless to change things for the better. The weight of the pain and sadness seems too heavy to bear. We can’t see why our heart doesn’t just break and allow death to free us. Job felt this way and you remember what God did on his behalf. Paul felt this way and he cried out in recognition that the answer was in Christ Jesus, our Lord. God has not forsaken us; He is here, ready, willing to help us through our recovery. All we have to do is swallow our pride, our self confidence and admit that we need Him. We cannot do this ourselves, only through the power of God can we truly recover and be free of the addictions that are holding us down. I hope that you will join me in taking the first step.
If you are in doubt as to whether or not you may have some addictive behaviors, let me remind you of the definition: “addictive behavior is any activity, substance, object, or behavior that has become the major focus of a person’s life to the exclusion of other activities, or that has begun to harm the individual or others physically, mentally, or socially.” This includes those attributes that you may possess that have plagued you with family members, friends and your employer. This is a year that all of us can start down the road to true recovery.
May God bless you.
