You know, for every sort of relationship there is a honeymoon period, a time when everything is lovey-dovey and wonderful. All sorts of differences are overlooked during this time. All words are spoken kindly. Every consideration is given to the other party. It’s just a nice and peachy time.
But in many cases, the time comes when you know that the honeymoon is over. The annoyances begin creeping in. The differences begin to grow more noticed and addressed. It’s no longer peachy and perfect anymore. It’s become work. This is true in marriages. It’s true in business partnerships. It’s true in so many different types of relationships. Sometimes the honeymoon period lasts for quite a long time. Other times, as evidenced in so many Hollywood marriages, it lasts for a matter of days.
Maybe you’ve heard the story about a young couple who got married. When they got back from their honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?" "Oh, Mom," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mom, as soon as we returned Tom started using the most horrible language...things I’d never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mom!"
"Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?" "Please don’t make me tell you, Mom," wept the daughter, "I’m so embarrassed, they’re just too awful! Come get me, please!" "Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mom, Tom started using words like dust, wash, iron, and cook!"
The honeymoon was over. The newness wore off and the reality of marriage had set in. And in the case of this poor young lady, it wasn’t what she had expected it to be.
You know, we kind of laugh at a story like that, but I think too many marriages fall apart when the honeymoon ends and it doesn’t turn out to be what the couple was hoping for. Probably even a vaster number of married couples don’t necessarily split, they stay married. But there is no passion in their relationship, there is no excitement. Marriage simply has become a drudgery, a co-habitation of two people, instead of a joyous bonding of two lives into one.
Even scarier is the thought that this happens in many a Christian’s relationship with Christ. A person gets saved and it’s wonderful. It’s such an awesome thing to know for the first time that your sins are forgiven. There’s such a feeling of peace and joy. There’s such a deep love for the One who died to make salvation possible for you.
This week I had a conversation with one of my closest friends from college at Hobe Sound. Eric and I traveled in a quartet together for a summer between my junior and senior year. In fact, I believe that was the year that we came and sang here at this church. Just recently Eric and his wife, Meagan, moved to Maryville where he is working as an assistant pastor at a church; Bryan’s dad’s church to be exact.
Eric was sharing with me about some of his newest converts that he’s been working with. He was telling me how exciting it is to see how hungry they are and how much they are growing in Christ. One couple he was talking about has come out of an awful life of sin. But God has been helping them. Yes, they still have some serious growing to do; there still are some major changes that need to be made in their lives. But they are so eager to know God more and to do whatever it takes to be exactly what He wants them to be.
It’s so exciting and refreshing to meet people like that, isn’t it? There’s just something awesome about seeing a new Christian who has such a deep desire for God. But you know, I’m afraid that for many of us there came a time in our walk with Christ that we began losing that zeal that we had as a new Believer; a time when the newness wore off and we began losing that seemingly unquenchable passion for Jesus. As time and life goes on, and that spiritual honeymoon period begins to wear off we have allowed Christianity to become a drudgery and a chore. We do everything we’re supposed to do, but the freshness is gone, the love has dwindled. And if we were to step back and take a good look at ourselves now, if there was anything inside of us that cared we would be alarmed at our spiritual state. We’ve lost the excitement. We’ve lost the passion.
This morning, I want to direct your attention to the book of Revelation, chapter 2. Here Jesus begins sending some messages through the apostle John to seven different churches. The church I want to focus on today is the church at Ephesus.
Jesus begins speaking in Rev. 2:1-7…
Unto the angel of the church of Ephesus write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand, who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks; I know thy works, and thy labor, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars: And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast labored, and hast not fainted. Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love. Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent. But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God.
In these verses we see a group of people who have come out from the spiritual honeymoon period. And there are three things that Jesus says to these church members at Ephesus that I believe He wants to say to us here at First Wesleyan Church this morning.
I. Christ’s Commendation For The Church (vs. 2-3)
First of all, we see His commendation for the church. Not everything He had to say to the church at Ephesus was negative. In fact, He pointed out several things that He was proud of them for. Look at verses 2 and 3… Jesus says, I know thy works, and thy labor, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars: And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast labored, and hast not fainted.
Jesus praised the Ephesians for a number of things. He said, “I know your works.” I read something quite interesting the other day. Did you know that it was very likely that Ephesus was the center for Christian missionary activity in Asia that had much to do with the founding of several churches, including the churches in Laodicea, Colosae, Philadelphia, and elsewhere? In other words, this was the Asian missions headquarters of the first century. This was not a group of idle Christians. These were not just a bunch of pew warmers. These were people who had heard it preached that they were to go into all the world making disciples, and they were taking that Great Commission very seriously. They were a church that was busy doing God’s work.
He also commended them for their labor. Now this may sound as though Jesus is just reiterating what He had just said about their works, but the fact is He was taking it a step further. You see, the Greek word for labor here denoted the kind of labor that was wearisome; it was the kind of excessive labor and toil that would produce grief or sadness. You see, Jesus was not just commending them for the quantity of their works, but He was also praising them for the quality of their works. They were not just doing these things half-heartedly, but their work was strenuous and done in great earnestness. They put everything they had into the work of God.
Next, Jesus commends them for their patience. You see, their labor did produce some grief and sadness. If you look back over the life of the Apostle Paul you will find that he ministered in Ephesus for a total of about 5 years straight. But it wasn’t because ministry was easy in that city. It was actually the opposite. Paul began his ministry there as he did in so many other cities, by preaching in the Jewish synagogues. For three years he ministered there until the hostility and opposition became too strong and he was forced to take his church plant to a local lecture hall. But because the Gospel was taking such an effect in that city the sale of pagan religious paraphernalia diminished. The enraged citizens of Ephesus came into a theater, which seated approximately 24,000 people, to demand that those causing these problems be punished. And it may well have been something that led to another imprisonment for Paul. The Apostle himself wrote, in his first letter to the Corinthian church, that his ministry in that city was mixed with danger that included being forced to “fight with wild animals and many adversaries.”
What’s my point in telling you all that about the Apostle Paul? What does that have to do with this message from Jesus to the Ephesians? My point is there is nothing to indicate that this type of atmosphere ever subsided in Ephesus when Paul left. There were many who raised fierce opposition and resentment and hatred towards the Ephesian Christians. Their enemies inflicted cruel, unjust, and relentless persecutions upon them. But these sufferings did not deter them, these persecutions did not keep them from going right on in the Lord’s work. There was more than just an initial tenacity to work and labor, but there was immense patience in these Christians, there was a great amount of staying power and enduring courage that these Christians displayed. They did not become weary in well doing. They did not faint in their labors for Christ. And Jesus commended them for this.
He also praised them because they had a holy intolerance. He says, Thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars. There was something inside of these Christians that could not tolerate those who were fakes. They could not tolerate those who claimed to be apostles, but were just a bunch of frauds and liars. They had a great ability to sniff out the wolves who would come among them in sheep’s clothing who were not there to spread the Gospel of Jesus, but to attain the power and influence that came along with the position of apostle. They had the uncanny ability to find out the imposters. And they would not tolerate those men.
Later in verse 6 He says, Thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. Not only did the Ephesian church not tolerate fakes, but they would not tolerate those who held onto false doctrine. You see, the Nicolaitans were a sect that claimed that the freedom that Christ gives placed them above the moral law. They made the moral law, the part of the law that tells us it’s wrong to commit adultery or steal or murder or covet, they made that basically like the ceremonial and sacrificial laws that were fulfilled by Christ when He died as our sacrifice and arose from the dead three days later.
Today we don’t have to do a lot of the ceremonial practices that the Hebrews had to do in the Old Testament because Jesus fulfilled them once and for all. But this sect was trying to void out every other part of the law as well. They felt that they were free to do as they pleased. They mixed pagan rituals in with Christian ceremonies. Basically, this group of people lived lives of heresy. They espoused false doctrine and they promoted it. And the Ephesian Christians had no toleration for this sect. They could not bear them. And Jesus commended them for that because they hated what He hated and loved what He loved.
So Jesus had some high praises to give to the Ephesian church. They stayed busy in His work; they gave everything they had to the promotion of the Gospel; they endured through persecution; and they had a holy intolerance for the things that Jesus hated. These were good things. This was the kind of church that a pastor would give almost anything to have.
I believe that Jesus is pleased when we are busy in His work. I believe His desire for all of us is to get out of our comfortable pews and get involved in ministry. And I believe His will is for us to do it whole-heartedly, earnestly, and tirelessly. I believe He wants us to have the courage to continue on through persecution and hardships. I believe He wants us to love the things He loves and hate the things He hates. I think it would be wrong for us to do or be anything less than these things. These things are commendable, they are praiseworthy, they are vital to the growth of the body of Christ. We need people who are willing to live the kind of lives that these Ephesian Christians were living.
II. Christ’s Criticism Of The Church (vs. 4)
But, this morning, I believe that God’s will for us is so much more than just being busy doing all the things we’re supposed to be doing. For if you continue looking through these verses you will find a place where Jesus says, “Hey, you’re doing a lot of things the right way, you’re doing a lot of good things. Nevertheless I have somewhat against you, because you hast left your first love.” You see, not only do we see Christ’s commendation of the church, but we see He criticism of the church as well.
You know, as I was studying for this message it hit me pretty hard what Jesus is saying here. Here these people were, they were deeply involved in God’s work. They were the missions headquarters. They were winning people to Jesus. They were starting new churches all over the Asian world. They were putting everything they had into ministry. They were enduring all types of persecution. They were living the way that God had called them to live. And yet, in spite of all those great and vital things, they still had lost the freshness and passion of a deep love for Jesus Christ. It wasn’t what it had at one time been. They had forgotten to keep the main thing the main thing.
I wonder what it was that caused them to begin losing that fire. I wonder what it was that pulled them away from their passionate love for Jesus. I mean, they had it at one time. There had been a time when there was such excitement in their love. You can leave some place you never were. They had at one time held onto that first love. What was it that caused them to leave it behind?
I wonder if they became motivated by status. They were motivated by something. Something drove them to work so hard and press through so many difficulties. Maybe it was status. Instead of going about God’s work out of a love for Jesus I wonder if they saw the possibilities of being recognized as such an awesome church. “Oh yeah, the church at Ephesus? That’s that church that is growing by leaps and bounds. That’s that church that is sending out so many missionaries. That’s the church that is planting so many churches around Asia. What a great church!”
I believe a lot of people have probably gone from being motivated by their love for Jesus to being motivated by status. They want to be recognized as a great worker in God’s fields. They want their church to be recognized as a vibrant, growing church. And there’s nothing wrong with those desires. I want our church to be vibrant and growing. I want to be a pastor who is bearing much fruit. But there is a great danger in those desires to make them the motivation for working and laboring for Jesus. Instead of it stemming from a passionate and zealous love for Jesus, it now stems from a desire to be noticed.
Maybe they went from being motivated by a love for Jesus to being motivated by a feeling of obligation. “Well, God has called us to go and make disciples, so I suppose we’d better get out there and do it.” I believe that far too many Christians are involved in ministry just because they feel like that’s what’s expected of them. “That’s what God expects. That’s what the church expects. That’s what my family expects or my pastor expects. I’m supposed to get out there and work. I’m supposed to be involved. If I don’t I’m going to be in trouble or people are going to look down on me and think I’m lazy.” Woe to us if we ever resort to involvement in God’s kingdom just because we feel obligated to do so.
Maybe they had the right motivation. Maybe they loved Jesus. But they got so caught up in doing the things that they thought would please Him that they forgot about the importance of maintaining and growing their relationship with Him. Maybe they got distracted.
A father had an 11 year old daughter that was the apple of his eye. He loved her dearly. They were great friends, and were always found in each other’s company. But there came a time when there seemed to be some estrangement between them. His daughter seemed to shun him, and if he went for a walk, she excused herself saying she had something she must do at home. He grieved about it and could not understand it, and yet did not want to mention to her what was apparent to him.
When his birthday came and that morning she came into his room, her face was glowing and she said, “Father I have brought you a present.” She handed him the present and opening it he found an exquisitely worked pair of slippers. He said, “Darling, it was so nice of you to buy these for me.” “Oh Father, “she said, “I did not buy them. I have made them for you.” The father, looking at her he said, “Oh, now I think I understand. Is this what you have been doing for the last three months?” “Yes, Father” she replied. “But how did you know how long I had been working on them?”
He said, “For three months I have wanted your companionship, but have not been able to have it. You have been too busy. My darling, I like these slippers very much, but next time buy the slippers, and let me have you. I would rather have you than anything you could make for me!”
I’m afraid that far too many Christians today, even us pastors, have been or are guilty of being like that girl. We are able to be so busy doing good things, doing things that God has called us to do, doing things that are important for the growth of His church, and even doing them out of a deep desire to please God; and yet we have forgotten the most important thing, our relationship with Christ. We may even be making progress, seeing some spiritual victories, seeing some level of effectiveness, and yet still be guilty of leaving our first love, of being distracted from what God really wants from us.
I hate to admit to you this morning that I can look back over my short ministry and see so many times when I got busy doing things for Jesus and forgot about the importance of my own time with God. But the Holy Spirit has taught me time after time, and I’m continuing to learn the same lesson, even in the last few weeks, that when I’m neglecting my first love my ministry won’t be near what God could make it if I’m keeping the passion kindled in my own spiritual life. Yes, there is much work to do. Yes, there are so many lost souls to win. But I wonder if Jesus would be saying to us, “I wish you would just let me be your Companion. I wish we could have fellowship with each other. I miss the love that you once had for me. I miss my time with you. I miss our communion.”
But I’m not just talking about not having your time alone with God every day. I believe you can even be having your devotions and still have left your first love. I believe you can be reading your Bible and praying every day and at the same time just be getting by as a Christian with no real excitement or passion in your relationship with Jesus. I believe keeping the passion burning in your life is more than just doing your daily devotions. It’s not about dutifully carving out some time each day to read a little Scripture and say a little prayer. It’s about loving Jesus with all of your heart and growing your relationship with Him.
I don’t know what it was the drew the Ephesian church away from their passionate and exciting love for Jesus. I don’t know what it was that made them neglect the main thing. But Jesus criticizes them and says, “This one thing I have against you, you have left your first love.”
III. Christ’s Call To The Church (vs. 5)
But He doesn’t just tell them why He’s displeased with them, Jesus also gives them a call to revive that first love. He says in verse 5, Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works. Jesus gives this church a way to rekindle the passion they once had. There are three things He tells them to do.
First of all He calls them to remember. Remember what? Remember from where they had fallen. Christ was calling them to remember what it was like when they had first been forgiven. Adam Clarke says this is a call to “consider the state of grace in which you once stood; the happiness, love, and joy which you felt when ye received remission of sins.” He was calling the Ephesian church to remember the passion, the zeal, the warmth of love which once characterized them.
A preacher tells about a day when a certain lady he had never seen before came to his office. She said, "Preacher, you’ll be shocked by my story." He assured her that he wouldn’t be because after 25 years of counseling, he had heard almost everything. So she began, "I hate my husband. I hate the way he looks. He has gotten fat, and doesn’t take care of himself. I hate the way he sounds. He slurps his food, and chews with his mouth open. I hate the way he brushes his teeth. He gulps the water in his mouth and swishes it around. He snores at night and makes all kinds of noises when he blows his nose. I just don’t love him anymore!" She went on with a long list of other reasons why she hated her husband.
The preacher was shocked. He had heard it all before, but never quite as bluntly as she was putting it. Usually, after any kind of an unhappy tirade, he asks this question, "Has it always been that way?" Often there is a moment of silence, and he can almost hear the wheels turning as people think back over their lives. As this lady thought it over, there came a slight little glimmer in her eyes, and a trace of a smile on her face. "No," she said, "It hasn’t always been this way. He used to be kind and gentle and sensitive. I can remember our courtship, and how romantic he was. I remember intimate conversations and soft music and candlelight. I remember a wonderful wedding and honeymoon. I remember those early years of struggling together when we were having children and trying to find enough money to pay our bills. There were some good times. There was a time when we were very much in love."
You know there is something wonderful about remembering what it was like in the early stages of a relationship, isn’t there? You’re forced to smile as you recall how deeply in love you were then. There’s something so special about those memories. And there’s something so powerful about stopping and remembering those times when things are not the way they used to be.
I believe that’s what Jesus is calling the church to do. “Listen, your love for me is not what it used to be. You need to stop and look back and remember what I have saved you from. You need to remember what it was like when you were first saved. Remember how zealous you were to grow. Remember how excited you were to spend time with me. Remember how passionate your love for me was.” He calls us to remember.
But He also calls us to repent. It’s not enough to just simply remember. A married couple can remember how it was when they first got married all they want, but if, in those times when they realize that their relationship is not what it once was, they don’t do something to change their direction those memories aren’t going to accomplish squat. If they don’t do their best to change the direction the relationship is going then the memories will fade and they will continue to drift further and further away from that remembered passion.
I’ve told this story before, but it fits well right here so I’m going to tell it again. There was a couple who was driving home on their 25th wedding anniversary after a celebration at a fine restaurant. She was sitting over against the door on the passenger side. He was behind the wheel as she began to lament, “Oh, honey, remember when we were so close? I mean, I remember when we first got married. We sat so close that you could hardly shift the gears. And look at us now.” To which he responded with a shrug, “Well, I never moved…”
You know, it’s one thing for that wife to remember the good ole days, it’s a whole different thing for her to unbuckle her seatbelt and move back over to the middle of that bench to be close to her husband. Remembering is great, but changing your direction is even better.
God wants us to do more than just reminisce of better days in our walk with Him. He wants us to become deeply humbled before Him for having so carelessly handled our relationship with Him. He wants us to repent. He wants us to change our direction. He wants us to realize that He hasn’t moved, it’s been us that has moved. He wants us to unbuckle that seat belt and move back over so we can be close to Him once again.
Quickly, Jesus also calls us to return to the first works. In other words He wants us to begin doing the things that we did at first when we had such a deep passion for God. Do not rest until you have recovered all the ground that you have lost over time.
You know, if a married couple came to me and began telling me how they don’t feel like they’re in love anymore, it isn’t like it used to be, probably one of the first things that this wise pastor/counselor would advise them to do would be to start doing the little things again. “You used to hold hands all the time, now you rarely even touch. You used to open the door for your wife, now you let her make her own way. You used to snuggle up on the couch to watch a sappy movie together, now you just argue over who’s going to hold the remote. You used to bring her flowers out of the blue on days other than her birthday, your anniversary, and Valentine’s Day, now the only flower she gets is the white powdery kind that sits in the cupboard. You used to make him his favorite desert just because he liked it, now you could care less what he likes. You used to write each other romantic love notes, now you don’t even say, ‘I love you.’” Do all the little things again. Return to doing what you did back when you did have an exciting, passionate relationship.
Commentator Albert Barnes says, Often the people who have left their first love, “sensible that they have erred, and that they have not the enjoyment in religion which they once had, profess to be willing and desirous to return, but they know not how to do it--how to revive their ardor--how to rekindle in their bosom the flame of extinguished love. They suppose it must be by silent meditation, or by some supernatural influence, and they wait for some visitation from above to call them back, and to restore to them their former joy. The counsel of the Savior to all such, however, is to do their first works. It is to engage at once in doing what they did in the first and best days of their piety. Let them read the Bible as they did then; let them pray as they did then… As it was in this way that they manifested their love then, so this would be better fitted than all other things to rekindle the flame of love when it is almost extinguished. The weapon that is used keeps bright; that which has become rusty will become bright again if it is used.”
The best way to rekindle the passionate love for Jesus that you once had is to remember what it was like, change the direction you are going, and begin doing the things you were doing when your love was so strong. That’s the call that Christ gives to the church that has left its first love.
So what am I trying to say this morning? What is it the message that I believe God wants to give to us today? I believe that a lot of us “mature” Christians have gotten this Christianity thing down to a science. We do all the things we’re supposed to do. We say all the things we’re supposed to say. We avoid all the places we’re supposed to avoid. We object to all the things we’re supposed to oppose. But when it really comes down to it, the honeymoon has long been over in our relationship with Christ. The zeal has been lost. The passion has burnt out. We have left our first love. And all that’s left is the science of religion; all that’s left is the duty of being a Christian.
And this morning I wonder if there are some people to whom the Holy Spirit has spoken and said, “Son/daughter, you’re doing all the right things, but I have this one thing against you: you’ve left your first love.” I wonder if there are some Christians here today who would have to admit that your zeal and your excitement and your love for Jesus is not what it once was. Christianity has become a chore to you. No, you don’t necessarily have sin in your life. You haven’t rebelled against your Savior. But you can look back and see a time when there was such a vibrant relationship that you had with Christ, and now it’s not near what it used to be. That passion just isn’t there anymore. There’s no excitement anymore.
Today, if you are like that, and if you are willing to be humble enough to come to an altar of prayer to seek a rekindling of that passion, I want you to come right now. This altar is wide open for you. No music. No long emotional pulls. We’re simply going to say a prayer and wait a moment. I believe that if the Holy Spirit is speaking to you and if you are hungry it won’t take a big pull. But if you’re just hungry to do more than just get by as a Christian, and you want to get that “babe in Christ” enthusiasm and excitement and passion back, I want you to come and let’s pray.
