THE CASE OF THE UNEQUAL YOKE (EZRA 9:1-15)
This message is intended for youth, young adults and the singles.
The weakness of God’s people in the areas of romance and marriage was confirmed to me the week I was preparing this message. I was in Los Angeles on a Monday morning when I decided to call on an old friend for lunch. Instead he asked me to join him and five old friends, including a non-believer, for dim sum. These friends are active in church, fellowship and even leadership.
The conversation for an hour and a half centered on matchmaking a non-present male friend, who is a believer, with a single girl who is a non-believer. They were brimming with excitement listing suggesting and brainstorming possible activities for the two strangers, including karaoke, ski trips and dinners.
At night, I was still bothered by the lunch conversation and so I wrote an e-mail to the Christians, discouraging them from matchmaking the Christian, who is not an active churchgoer, with a non-Christian, explaining why I had not objected during lunch. After leaving it two days in the outgoing box to make sure I do not regret writing it, I sent the following mail:
“Please reconsider matchmaking brother X with a non-Christian. First, a Christian should not be equally yoked with a non-Christian. Second, his past dating relationships with non-Christians have led him farther away from the Lord, and never nearer. Third, we should focus our energy more on praying for him to return to the Lord. I did not want to share this during the luncheon out of respect for the non-Christian friend present.”
Praise the Lord, we did not engage in an e-mail war!
The principle of yoking together believers in marriage but not a Christian with a non-Christian is recorded in 2 Corinthians 6:16: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” The meaning of the principle can be traced to an agricultural principle recorded in Deuteronomy 22:10: “Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.” In biblical times, a farmer was discouraged from joining an ox and a donkey at the heads and necks for the purpose of carrying a load. This mix and match method does not work because not only do the ox and donkey not belong together, they do not move, work or behave the same way. Not only would the work be hindered, the animals could be harmed.
After the Israelites had settled in the land after the exile, the new generation reverted to the old ways. Their marriage to Gentile women, who were idolaters, threatened to lead Israel on the path of apostasy. Ezra the prophet was not opposed to interracial marriage, but interfaith marriage. Surprisingly, the people accepted Ezra’s unpopular message and did not oppose or ridicule him. Why did the people respond to such an unpopular message? What did he say that touched their heart and changed their mind?
Why are believers tempted to date and marry unbelieving partners? What can we learn from interfaith marriage? How does it hurt and not help couples?
Do Not Repeat What You were Forced to Endure in the Past
5 Then, at the evening sacrifice, I rose from my self-abasement, with my tunic and cloak torn, and fell on my knees with my hands spread out to the LORD my God 6 and prayed: “O my God, I am too ashamed and disgraced to lift up my face to you, my God, because our sins are higher than our heads and our guilt has reached to the heavens. 7 From the days of our forefathers until now, our guilt has been great. Because of our sins, we and our kings and our priests have been subjected to the sword and captivity, to pillage and humiliation at the hand of foreign kings, as it is today. (Ezra 9:5-7)
A pastor saw a former burglar kneeling beside a judge of the Supreme Court of England – it was the judge who had sent him to jail where he had served seven years. After his release this burglar had been converted and became a Christian worker. Yet as they knelt there, the judge and the former convict neither one seemed to be aware of the other.
After the service, the judge was walking home with the pastor and said to the pastor, “Did you notice who was kneeling beside me at the Communion rail this morning?” The pastor replied, “Yes, but I didn’t know that you noticed.”
The two walked along in silence for a few more moments, and then the judge said, “What a miracle of grace.” The pastor nodded in agreement. “Yes, what marvelous miracle of grace.” Then the judge said, “But to whom do you refer?” And the pastor said, “Why, to the conversion of that convict.” The judge said, “I was not referring to him. I was thinking of myself.”
The pastor, surprised, replied: “You were thinking of yourself? I don’t understand.” “Yes,” the judge replied, “it did not cost the burglar that much to get converted when he came out of jail. He had nothing but a history of crime behind him, and when he saw Jesus as his Savior he knew there was salvation and hope and joy for him. And he knew how much he needed that help. But look at me. I was taught from earliest infancy to live as a gentleman; that my word was to be my bond; that I was to say my prayers, go to church, take Communion and so on. I went through Oxford, took my degrees, was called to the bar and eventually became a judge. Pastor, nothing but the grace of God could have caused me to admit that I was a sinner on level with the burglar. It took much grace to forgive me for all my pride and self deception, to get me to admit that I was no better in the eyes of God than that convict that I sent to prison.” (James Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited 257)
Recalling the past was painful for Ezra. Ezra’s heart was filled with compassion for the people, and not condemnation for or condescension on the people. He felt the shame of the people and with the people but not for the people (v 6). The word disgraced in verse 6 means humiliated. The Hebrew text in verse 6 says, “I am ashamed and disgraced to lift my face to my God.” The Chinese way of saying it is, “I have no face to see You.” He wasn’t offended, angry or outraged, but he was miserable, devastated and heartbroken. Rebuke, accusation and blame weren’t in his heart. The only anger in the passage was God’s (v 14). His goal was always to invite the people to pray with Him, to confess their sins and to ask for forgiveness. Unlike Daniel who confessed to God for the sins of Israel with the word “We,” Ezra confessed to God for the people with the word “our” – 8 times from verses 6-7 alone.
Ezra tore his garment and cloak (v 3), which was an unusual practice because mourners usually rend either the tunic or the cloak. Next he pulled hair from his head and beard (v 3). Pulling hair from the head is bearable, but pulling anything lower than the head is painful. He was appalled, numbed and dazed, because the list of transgressors was from the top down. Those leading the charge into sin included priests and the Levites (v 1), and leaders and officials (v 2).
God commanded the separation of Israel from the nations to be his own and the separation of the Levites apart from the other Israelites in the Old Testament for a reason: Israel was meant “to be His own” (Lev 20:24), and the Levites “to be Mine” (Lev 20:26, Num 8:14). 1 Kings 8:53 reiterated that Israel is God’s own inheritance. When they gave of themselves and their sons and daughters in marriage to Gentiles, they were giving what weren’t theirs in the first place and what they had no right to give. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 say, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
However, the command was not meant to exclude foreigner per se, because in Isaiah 56:3 the LORD said that He does not exclude, or the word “separate” in Hebrew, the foreigner who has bound himself to Him. Two of the most legendary women in Israel’s history were foreigners – Rahab and Ruth, both were ancestors of Jesus the Messiah (Matt 1:5). The text clearly explains the objection was against “the neighboring peoples with their detestable practices” (v 1) and “the peoples who commit such detestable practices” (v 14)
Do Not Ruin What You are Free to Enjoy in the Present
8 “But now, for a brief moment, the LORD our God has been gracious in leaving us a remnant and giving us a firm place in his sanctuary, and so our God gives light to our eyes and a little relief in our bondage. 9 Though we are slaves, our God has not deserted us in our bondage. He has shown us kindness in the sight of the kings of Persia: He has granted us new life to rebuild the house of our God and repair its ruins, and he has given us a wall of protection in Judah and Jerusalem. (Ezra 9:8-9)
My wife and I know a sister in Christ from South East Asia who, as a young woman, was married to an unbeliever. Even though the members of her church knew about her circumstances, they still appointed her to serve as deacon because of her proven track in service and relationships.
However, she had more than her fair share of reproof. Her husband had never stepped a foot into the church. She was known as a woman of mystery. Even though her husband did not stop her from serving, no one had seen her husband. He had never stepped his foot into the church and her only son left the church after high school. Asking about her family was a no-no. She would bristle, change topics or deflect the questions.
The irony is that when she finally retired and her son was about to become an American citizen, she cringed at the thought of immigrating there even though her husband relished the thought of reuniting with the son. She shared with us, “I won’t be as convenient as it is over here. Most importantly, I cannot not serve.” Deep in her heart, she was afraid she couldn’t even get a ride to church in a new place. She lived her life pulled by two opposing forces.
Ezra likened their sweet return to Israel after seventy years of exile as a brief moment (v 8), a small opening or a short time that God has given them. Their survival was a miracle. Countries have survived defeat or colonization, but no country can survive exile. Countries have survived their treasures plundered, their kings humiliated and their men tortured or imprisoned, but no country can survive their kings banished, their country devastated and their men killed or exiled.
Surviving colonialism was a breakthrough, but surviving exile was a miracle. The Israelites had a ray of hope (v 8) and a window of opportunity not because they were deserving but because for a brief moment, out of grace, God had left them a remnant (v 8) to return to Jerusalem to rebuild the temple and the walls (v 9) at a time when their eyes were dimming, their hopes were dying, their hair was graying in exile (v 8). For all their sins and shortcomings, seventy years of exile was short (v 8) and brief.
The contemporary argument is this: “If what I have done is so bad, how come I am doing so well? How come I have such a sweet wife, such adorable kids, and a good family?” All of grace, and nothing but grace, friend. Paul says in Romans 6:1-2, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!”
It’s been said, “If you cannot be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped.” The word “escape” is prominent in Ezra’s prayer. Four times Ezra thanked the Lord for Israel’s great, harrowing, and miraculous escape. The word “escape” is left out of the NIV in verse 8 but in KJV it says “a remnant to escape” and in NASB it says “an escaped remnant.” In verses 13, 14, and 15 the word “escape” is substituted with the word “remnant” or “survivor”.
The prayer recognized how great a punishment and destruction they had escaped or were spared. The next time it happened to the Israelites, they were exiled from their country for about nineteen centuries – from the first century until their return in the 20th century, or in 1948.
Do Not Regret What You Will Fear to Expect in the Future
10 “But now, O our God, what can we say after this? For we have disregarded the commands 11 you gave through your servants the prophets when you said: ’The land you are entering to possess is a land polluted by the corruption of its peoples. By their detestable practices they have filled it with their impurity from one end to the other. 12 Therefore, do not give your daughters in marriage to their sons or take their daughters for your sons. Do not seek a treaty of friendship with them at any time, that you may be strong and eat the good things of the land and leave it to your children as an everlasting inheritance.’ 13 “What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, you have punished us less than our sins have deserved and have given us a remnant like this. 14 Shall we again break your commands and intermarry with the peoples who commit such detestable practices? Would you not be angry enough with us to destroy us, leaving us no remnant or survivor? 15 O LORD, God of Israel, you are righteous! We are left this day as a remnant. Here we are before you in our guilt, though because of it not one of us can stand in your presence.” (Ezra 9:10-15)
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: “Look, it’s not the same hat.” “Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table.” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”
The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was, after all, the captain’s parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot sad, “OK, I give up. Where’s the boat?”
Israel had no idea that God’s mercy, forgiveness and patience were only meant and reserved for those who were willing to turn from sin (Ezek 18:21), turn from wickedness (Ezek 33:19) and turn to God (Hos 12:6, Joel 2:13). Ezra used the word guilt or trespass four times in his prayer (vv 6, 7, 13, 15), twice stating how great it was before God (vv 7, 13). The only equal to the four times Ezra had used the word was in 2 Chronicles 28:20-13, when a prophet warned of God’s fierce anger upon the northern kingdom of Israel for the guilt (2 Chron 28: 8, 10, 13) of enslaving two hundred thousand southern women, sons and daughters of Judah as spoils of war.
The history of interfaith marriage is troubled and not optimistic. The word intermarry (v 14), or join together, is used technically in the Bible for in-law relationships: 21 times for fathers-in-law, 5 times to sons-in-law, and once to mother-in-law. However the in-laws of interfaith marriage Ezra referred to in verse 12 are idols, abominations and uncleanness.
The history of the unique Hebrew word “anger” in verse 14 is short. This is not the normal word for anger that occurs 276 times in the Bible. Only 14 Hebrew verses are found for this anger in the Scriptures, and all refer to the Lord’s anger, 10 times for “angry” and twice for “very angry.” No anger is like divine anger. The regular word for anger means rapid breathing, but this word means hard breathing! The Lord’s anger meant the exclusion of Moses from Canaan (Deut 1:37, 4:21), the near-destruction of the calf-worshipping Israelites (Deut 9:8), and the breakup of Solomon’s kingdom (1 Ki 11:9). Twice the Lord was not just angry but very angry over idols, resulting in near-death for Aaron (Deut 9:20) for making the golden calf and causing Israel to sin, and the exile of the northern kingdom for bowing down to idols and the starry hosts, sacrificing their sons and daughters in the fire, and practicing divination and sorcery (2 Kings 17:18).
Conclusion: If your spouse is not a Christian, you have a tremendous responsibility. The first mistake of unequally yoked with a non-Christian is usually compounded by the failure to miss church altogether, to witness to your spouse, and to raise godly children. It is not the unbelieving spouse’s fault but the believing spouse’s weakness. A mistake cannot be unwritten but it can be rewritten. The most futile exercise is to push your luck.
Have you prayed for and witnessed to your unbelieving spouse? Do you set a good example at home? Do you invite him or her to church and fellowship?
Victor Yap
Other sermons in the series and other sermon series:
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