EVERYTHING TO PROVE (1 KINGS 11:42-12:20)
I have been teaching preaching since 1998. I enjoy seeing students master the basics, watching them develop their confidence and grooming them for immediate impact. However, most teachers enjoy one thing least: evaluation. When I first started, lecturers were evaluated at the end of each course. Three years later, teachers had student evaluation midway through the course. Another three years later, students give feedback about teachers’ performance on the first day of the class, too. The only consolation is that I survived and thrived.
None of us like the pressure of meeting others’ expectations, fulfilling one’s potential and showing one’s worth. Last year’s NBA champions have to prove they were worthy champions, no fluke and not a flash in the pan. Champions have to prove they were not lucky; also-rans have to prove they are not losers. Teachers and students have to prove themselves. Professionals have to prove they know what they are doing. Voters need proof of residency and identity, drivers their proof of insurance and customers their proof of purchase. Scientist have to prove their findings, mathematicians their calculation, chemist their formula, archaeologist their discovery, prosecutors their evidence, athletes their fitness, producers their ratings and CEOs their salary. Laggards have something to prove, rookies and veterans have something to prove, young and old have something to prove. Sooner or later and to a greater or lesser degree, everyone has something to prove to oneself, if not to others.
Rehoboam had big shoes to fill. His illustrious grandfather was the beloved King David and his distinguished father was the sage King Solomon. The new king was not left without help. His father’s advisors were ready to help the young man make a good start, succeed his father and complete the transition, but the young Rehoboam took things too personally, lightly and immaturely. He had more to prove than he thought, more to lose than he thought and was more to blame than he thought for his misfortune.
What kind of path do you want to take in life? How do you want to be known? Why is there improvement to make no matter how much you’re given and what advantage you have?
Prove Yourself Compassionate, Not Callous or Cold
12:1 Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all the Israelites had gone there to make him king. 2 When Jeroboam son of Nebat heard this (he was still in Egypt, where he had fled from King Solomon), he returned from Egypt. 3 So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: 4 “Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.” 5 Rehoboam answered, “Go away for three days and then come back to me.” So the people went away. (1 Kings 12:1-5)
During an operation, an experienced surgeon asked a young intern, “Who is the most important person in this operating room?”
The intern groped for an appropriate answer. He didn’t believe that this mentor was asking for personal compliments, so trying to sound gracious, he replied, “I suppose that it would be these nurses who assist you in such an efficient manner.”
The surgeon shook his head and said, “No, the most important individual in this room is the patient. (Remember that.)” (Daily Bread 9/29/93)
Peter Drucker said that what Andrew Carnegie wanted on his tombstone were these words: “Here lies a man who attracted better people into his service than he was himself.” (Bits and Pieces 1/2/97)
The forty years of Solomon’s reign had exacted a heavy toll on commoners’ lives. The expenses for building expensive projects (1 Kings 10:4), entertaining foreign dignitaries (1 Kings 10:24), buying expensive toys (1 Kings 10:26-29) and supporting 1,000 families (1 Kings 11:3) came directly from the government coffers. The Israelites told Rehoboam frankly how much they suffered when his father was king. The first “heavy” word in verse 4, meaning fierce, rough, severe, is used for Rachel’s great difficulty in giving birth (Gen 35:16), the hardening of the hearts of foreign kings such as Pharaoh (Ex 7:2-3), Sihon (Deut 2:30), Nebuchadnezzar (2 Chron 36:13), and the recurring word for being “stiff-neck” (Deut 10:16, 2 Chron 30:8, Neh 9:16, 9:17, 9:29, Jer 7:26, 17:23, 19:15).
Even then, “heavy” is not the most emphasized word. The most used word in the chapter is the word “yoke,” which is used eight times (vv 4, 4, 9, 10, 11, 11, 14, 14). The delegates’ frequent mention of the word was calculated to dramatize the problem and draw a reaction. Ironically, the Hebrew word “yoke” has always been used in the Bible for the burden placed upon by enemies (Deut 28:48) and foreigners (Jer 30:8), and never upon or by fellow countrymen. The yokes Israel had suffered included the yoke of Egypt (Lev 26:13), Midian (Isa 9:4), Assyria (Isa 14:25), and Babylon (Isa 47:5-6, Jer 28:2). The Israelites complained frankly that their own king was no better than foreign kings that enslaved them.
The second “heavy” word in verse 4 is frequently used to describe the severity of the famine in the days of Abraham (Gen 12:10), Joseph (Gen 41:31, Gen 43:1, 47:4, 47:13). Even though the messengers were frank, they came in with a polite request, a positive reassurance and a proper rationale. They said “lighten” but never demanded the exact amount or proportion, diplomatically pointed out that Solomon and not the present king caused the hardship (v 4 “he put on us”), reiterating and concluding that they will serve the new king.
Prove Yourself Competent, Not Childish
6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked. 7 They replied, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.” 8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 9 He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?” 10 The young men who had grown up with him replied, “Tell these people who have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter’-tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. 11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’” (1 Kings 12:6-11)
American TV actor and former college basketball player Michael Warren was an All-American at UCLA, where he and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar were members of the 1967 and 1968 Bruin teams that won two NCAA championship titles under coach John Wooden.
Warren shared how meeting Wooden changed his life for the better: “One of the reasons I left the Midwest was to get away from my parents. They were great parents. No one in my life has been more important than my parents. But it was time for me to be on my own. So I go 2,000 miles and there he is, John Wooden, just like them. I arrive and I am 18 years old, a grown man now, of course. And there are parties and something going on day and night in the UCLA campus. I’m there, enjoying it all. Then I get a call to see Coach Wooden. I’m fine. Excited. Figure we would talk about basketball. Then I get to his office and he’s looking at me. Those beady eyes. He asks me if I know why I am here and I tell him yes, to play basketball. And he says, no, I’m here to get an education and if I don’t shape up, I’m going to get neither basketball nor an education. He says my parents would certainly not appreciate the way I am conducting myself. The next quarter, I was on the Dean’s List.” (“They’ll Take It from Here, Coach Wooden,” Los Angeles Times, 10/13/07)
Rehoboam’s troubles worsened when he listened to the advice of his posse, the youngsters he grew up and hanged out with rather than the advice his father’s trusted and true advisers. The old hands at the court suggested a brilliant and radical approach, using a kindler and gentler approach to handle a controversial subject and adding a spoon of sugar to the citizens’ bitter medicine. They advocated using a servant model rather than a superior model, a humble and healing heart rather than a hot and heavy hand, providing not a forceful response but “a favorable answer,” or “good words” literally in Hebrew (v 7).
The youngsters’ reckless fighting words were anything but sound advice. The new king did not consult his father’s team of advisors, including Zadok the priest, Nathan the prophet and Benaiah the general (1 Kings 1:38), people who were godly, knowledgeable and experienced, but heeded a group of unofficial advisors that were untrained, unqualified, unskilled, unwise and untested. The recommended words were so harsh and arrogant that even half the answer Rehoboam offered (v 13) was offensive enough to kill any hope of reconciliation. He was the only king to use on his subjects the word “chastised,” “whips” and “scorpions,” words that were calculated to mean business, silent opposition and impose punishment.
What a stark contrast to the way Rehoboam’s father made his debut. The first impression the people had of Solomon was the Hebrew phrase “good fear” when they saw the godly wisdom in him to administer justice (1 Kings 3:28). The first impression the Israelites presently had of Rehoboam was open hostility and worst hospitality. They saw the vicious intent in him to inflict pain when he unfortunately chose the word “laid” in verse 11 that exacerbated the problem, demeaning and angering the messengers. The word “laid” is used primarily for loads bore by donkeys (Gen 44:13, Neh 13:15), cattle (Isa 46:1) and construction laborers (Neh 4:17) in the Bible.
Prove Yourself Constructive, Not Condemning
15 So the king did not listen to the people, for this turn of events was from the LORD, to fulfill the word the LORD had spoken to Jeroboam son of Nebat through Ahijah the Shilonite. 16 When all Israel saw that the king refused to listen to them, they answered the king: “What share do we have in David, what part in Jesse’s son? To your tents, O Israel! Look after your own house, O David!” So the Israelites went home. 17 But as for the Israelites who were living in the towns of Judah, Rehoboam still ruled over them. 18 King Rehoboam sent out Adoniram, who was in charge of forced labor, but all Israel stoned him to death. King Rehoboam, however, managed to get into his chariot and escape to Jerusalem. 19 So Israel has been in rebellion against the house of David to this day. (1 Kings 12:15-19)
Experts in communication have come a long way in suggesting ways to offer advice to others, especially when it is unpleasant and hard to take. Telling others point blank their mistake is not the best course to take to deal with others.
One way to communicate change is the 1+1 or 2+1 advice, giving one or two compliments along with the one point that can be improved on. The 1 + 1 example would be, “Your grades are up, but your punctuality needs improvement.” The 2+1 example is, “I noticed you’ve been doing homework earlier and you’ve been doing your chores, but your room is in a mess.”
The better suggestion is the 2+2 feedback protocol consisting of two compliments and two suggestions for improvement. For example, “You have been spending less time on the phone and you’ve been nice to your brother, but you have not fed the dog and you need to sleep earlier.”
The best I’ve read so far is the 2+1+1 comment, which is to offer two positive comments, followed by the improvement to be made, ending with another positive. For example, “You’ve spent less time surfing the net and watching television, but you’ve got cut down on playing video games, but you can invite your friends over to play.”
The word “harsh” characterized not only the Israelites’ labor (v 4), but also Rehoboam’s reply (v 13). Not only were the words spit to the face and dagger to the heart, the harsh attitude (v 13) was abysmal, unexpected and shocking. Cutting slack, breathing room and continual dialogue was not offered; a callous attitude, a confrontational approach and a cutting answer ensued. Unknown to the king, the splinter was complete. The united kingdom that his grandfather David reigned over for 33 years (1 Kings 2:11) was torn apart in three short days (v 5) by Rehoboam, and the joint alliance his father Solomon presided over for another 40 years (1 Kings 11:42) could not last 4 days with the youthful Rehoboam.
To make matters worse, taking back his word did not cross Rehoboam’s mind, but roping in the dissidents occupied his thoughts. The king then sent his favorite henchman to strike fear and instill sense in the Israelites, but they stoned the hated Adoniram, who was in charge of forced labor (1 Kings 4:6, 5:14) and building construction, which was ongoing for twenty years (1 Kings 6:38-7:1). This is the first reported death from stoning in the new land. The clueless king then realized that the people despised him. They had enough of the new king, the youthful administration and the southern grip. From now on, things reverted to the past before David was crowned and before the kingdom was united. The nation would split into Israel, the ten northern tribes that formerly supported King Saul, and Judah, the southern two tribes that previously followed David.
Rehoboam failed miserably. He could have tried the compliment and minor concession method, the compliment and “on-one condition” method, the compliment and possible compromise method, the compliment and mutual challenge method, or the compliment and further consideration method; instead he used the “one chief, one choice and one consequence” rule on them.
Conclusion: Maturity cannot be passed from family or given at birth. Do you surround yourself with people more mature and capable than you, not people that drag you down or lower your character? Colin Powell said, “Surround yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those who work hard and play hard.” Even though inexperience and innocence mark youth, maturity, ignorance and indifference are optional and unnecessary. Are you “slow to speak” (Jas 1:19)? Do you speak the truth in love? (Eph 4:15) Do you use a gentle answer to turn away wrath, or a harsh word that stirs up anger? (Prov 15:1)
Victor Yap
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