BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR (1 KINGS 16:29-33; 21)
A young lady I have lost contact with for many years asked for my e-mail when we met at a wedding banquet and. Before too long, she e-mailed and called me. She was pretty, talented, quiet, helpful and sweet, the ideal spouse, mother, daughter or daughter-in-law material. A church musician and an active believer, she shocked me with her pending engagement to a Middle Easterner, a Muslim colleague at work, dismaying her Christian family members. She had dated her fair share of Christians but they did not work out. She liked him, but not loved him. Nobody at church had the slightest clue she was dating, never mind marrying a Muslim. Further, the young Muslim man had visa problems and marriage would solve the issue.
After living in a Muslim country for close to thirty years, I cautioned her against marrying a Muslim. Muslims are barred from conversion by law. They have to give up their property and belongings to the government upon their conversion to another faith. Children of interfaith marriage are required to be raised Muslim by law.
The young lady nicely explained that upon marriage they will live in the States and not return to live in the Middle East, where the pressure to convert to Islam is unbearable. The young man assured her she could remain Christian, just as he could remain a Muslim, and that she could freely live the Western way, not the Islamic way.
I bumped into the person a few years after that talk. The two were engaged but not married and were on better terms with each other, but the lady’s strained relationship at home got worse and church friends were kept in the dark for many years till they were married.
Marriage is life’s “big business,” as the Chinese say. The Chinese say, “Marry a chicken, follow the chicken; marry a dog, follow the dog.” The decision is irreversible, the damage is irreparable and both destinies are intertwined.
Israel was split into two kingdoms after the death of Solomon. Solomon’s descendants reigned over the longer lasting southern kingdom of Judah, but the tumultuous northern kingdom of Israel was ruled by nine dynasties until its fall to the Assyrians. King Ahab of the northern kingdom was the son of the third dynasty’s founding king. He was famous for his marriage alliances with other nations to prevent a war and to consolidate his throne, but it brought more danger, instability and chaos to the country. The introduction of the heathen Jezebel, however, affected so many lives and turned his family, the northern and southern kingdoms upside down. The reason why the southern kingdom turned idolatrous was because Ahab’s daughter Athaliah was given to marriage to the southern kingdom and she was as idolatrous as her mother who brought her up. Ahab and Jezebel were more powerful than any president and first lady in office, more vicious and more anti-God than any of the kings and queens before them.
What is God’s blueprint for marriage? Why is breaking off a romance with an unbeliever easier said than done? Why is interfaith marriage against God’s will, an act of disobedience and a marriage that is troubled from the start?
Two Lives are Incompatible and Inseparable
29 In the thirty-eighth year of Asa king of Judah, Ahab son of Omri became king of Israel, and he reigned in Samaria over Israel twenty-two years. 30 Ahab son of Omri did more evil in the eyes of the LORD than any of those before him. 31 He not only considered it trivial to commit the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, but he also married Jezebel daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and began to serve Baal and worship him. 32 He set up an altar for Baal in the temple of Baal that he built in Samaria. 33 Ahab also made an Asherah pole and did more to provoke the LORD, the God of Israel, to anger than did all the kings of Israel before him. (1 Kings 16:29-33)
This is not my first time addressing interfaith marriage issues. After speaking on Ezra’s strong opposition to interfaith marriage, as recorded in Ezra 9, a member came up to me and said, “Pastor, I don’t agree with your stand against interfaith marriage. If I have not married my spouse, the person would not have the opportunity to attend church and accept Christ later.” I said, “Your spouse’s salvation is an act of God’s grace and mercy. God could have saved the person in other ways. Marriage is not the only way.”
A lot of people confuse the words “because” and “despite.” In interfaith marriage, God could intervene and save an unbelieving spouse not because of a believing spouse’s disobedience, but despite of his or her disobedience. Some have taken evangelistic work to an exasperating extreme, thinking they can convert an unbelieving date in courtship or an unbelieving wife after marriage. Missionary dating or proselyte dating in the hope of converting an unbeliever is unwise, unrealistic and unbelief. It often leads to a loss of faith, regular absence from church and a clash of schedule, priorities and interests. Marrying an unbeliever is not an opportunity issue, but an obedience issue.
I have seen the same old issues and struggles in interfaith marriages in more than 20 years of ministry. Women are often the victims. Some husbands forbade their wives to attend church. Daughters-in-law have to endure their in-laws’ disapproval. Some husbands allow their wives to go, but not take the children. Some husbands prefer to sit in the church parking lot and wait for the worship service to finish. Some return to pick up the wife after grocery shopping. A sister who had choir rehearsal after worship every week had the good fortune of her husband waiting for her inside his parked car, but then she was rich! Some wives ducked off before doxology to cook for husband and kids or go for lunch with them. Some are too embarrassed or too discouraged to open their homes for fellowship with their spouse not participating or doing their own thing at home, including obliviously watching TV, disappearing from sight or eating dinner but skipping fellowship. Some would not wish for the pastor or members to visit. Some would say they’d like to serve or open their homes more but their spouses are opposed. Some could only attend worship but not Sunday school, fellowship or prayer meeting. Some compromise, with the agreement to attend church once very other week. Many spouses explain they were not forbidden but that they were discreet.
Many pastors who are willing to marry two Christians or even two unbelievers will surprisingly decline to marry a Christian with an unbeliever. 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.” The Bible uses the agricultural principle of tying an ox with an ox, but not an ox with a donkey, to a yoke to plough the field so that the weight of burden would be distributed equally between the two animals, preventing the yoke from resting on one animal’s neck and choking the other’s. Furthermore, the faster moving animal would painfully drag the other along by the neck! Marrying an unbelieving person is a short-term resolve but a long-term pain and a disobedience one cannot get out of.
Rare is the believer who succeeds in leading his or her unbelieving spouse to Christ. A believer’s participation in service is halfhearted and part-time, and lessens gradually after an interfaith marriage. For every succeeding story, hundreds of unsuccessful stories abound. Even the successful party can tell you of the sweat and tears, pain and guilt involved. To be fair, marrying an inactive or a lukewarm Christian can sometimes result in nearly the same outcome.
Ahab, the northern king, did the most foolish, abominable and blasphemous thing in God’s eyes. He married the Gentile, idolatrous and evil Jezebel. No one was like Jezebel. Never in the northern kingdom Israel’s history had a queen wielded such power over the land and such influence and sway over the king. She was a Sidonian, not a Hebrew, and through her influence, Ahab became the first king to set up an altar for Baal and to make an Asherah pole (not just “go after,” as Solomon did in 1 Kings 11:5), thus provoking the LORD to anger more than all the kings of Israel before him (1 Kings 16:33).
After Jezebel had set up shop in Israel, she had a stable of 850 prophets in her service; 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah ate at Jezebel’s table (1 Kings 18:19). She was such a renowned prophet killer (1 Kings 18:3-4) that prophets hid in horror at caves and ran for their lives at the mention of her name. Prophets like Elijah were so discouraged and depressed that they wanted to quit serving and living (1 Ki 19:2).
Jezebel influenced Ahab in politics, religions, morality and ethics. The Scriptures say that Ahab did more to provoke the LORD to anger than did all the kings of Israel before him (1 Ki 16:33). Not only was Ahab the first king to serve and worship Baal, he built a temple in Samaria dedicated to the worship of Baal. The five previous kings before Ahab were bad enough, but Ahab was the worst of the lot. Jeroboam, the first king of the northern kingdom, made two golden calves (1 Kings 12:28) so that the northerners would forget about their pilgrimage to the Jerusalem temple in the south. The four kings after him, including his son Nadab (1 Kings 15:25-26), Baasha, founding king of the second dynasty, (1 Kings 15:34), Elah, Baasah’s son (1 Ki 16:8) and Omri, the founder of the third dynasty and Ahab’s father, were no worse than Jeroboam. The charges against them were the same: they did evil in the eyes of the LORD, walking in the ways of Jeroboam and in his sin, which he had caused Israel to commit.
But Samaria under the reign of Ahab and the unmistakable influence of Jezebel was the most pagan and profane place in Israel at that time. Not only was Baal worship practiced and commended by the king, the Asherah pole became a national and royal treasure. True, Baal and Asherah worship were common in the new land at the time of the Judges after Joshua’s death (Judg 3:7, 6:25) and the Israelites were openly practicing Asherah worship shortly before Jezebel’s arrival (1 Kings 14:15), but now the king had sanctioned and legitimized the two religions. Idolatry was in vogue, in full swing and in primetime.
Two Lives are Invested and Influenced
5 His wife Jezebel came in and asked him, "Why are you so sullen? Why won’t you eat?" 6 He answered her, "Because I said to Naboth the Jezreelite, ’Sell me your vineyard; or if you prefer, I will give you another vineyard in its place.’ But he said, ’I will not give you my vineyard.’" 7 Jezebel his wife said, "Is this how you act as king over Israel? Get up and eat! Cheer up. I’ll get you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite." 8 So she wrote letters in Ahab’s name, placed his seal on them, and sent them to the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city with him. 9 In those letters she wrote: "Proclaim a day of fasting and seat Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 10 But seat two scoundrels opposite him and have them testify that he has cursed both God and the king. Then take him out and stone him to death." 11 So the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city did as Jezebel directed in the letters she had written to them. 12 They proclaimed a fast and seated Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 13 Then two scoundrels came and sat opposite him and brought charges against Naboth before the people, saying, "Naboth has cursed both God and the king." So they took him outside the city and stoned him to death. (1 Kings 21:5-13)
A man asked his wife, “If you could have anything in the world for one day, what would you want?” “I’d love to be eight again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie: the latest Hollywood blockbuster, hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being eight again?” One eye opened. “You idiot, I meant my dress size.”
It’s been said, “Be careful what you wish for.”
Psychologists and marriage counselors say that a marriage can survive most things except alcoholism/substance abuse, infidelity and even differing religious and cultural attitudes, especially after having children. (Wall Street Journal 11/4/04 “Key to Lasting Marriage - Combat”)
Interfaith marriage is not only a clash of beliefs, but also a conflict in values. The influence of Jezebel extended not only to religious issues but moral and ethical issues, with disastrous consequences. Ahab turned his attention one day to his neighbor Naboth’s vineyard. He thought of personal convenience, but Naboth spoke of family treasure. The vineyard was close to the king’s doorsteps and palace, but it was dear to Naboth’s heart and family. Naboth gave Ahab the sternest reply possible to discourage him from harboring the thought. He invoked the Lord’s name to explain his rejection of the king’s offer to buy.
Further, Naboth borrowed the solemn oath “The Lord forbid” from none other than most revered King David, the only other person to spout this oath in Hebrew, who uttered it on two occasions when he twice refused to kill Saul in the caves when he had the chance to do so (1 Sam 24:6, 26:11)
Hearing Naboth’s powerful and irritating imitation of Israel’s greatest king sent an eerie chill down Ahab’s spine, sent him into a royal fit and sent the easily discouraged king into another depression. Naboth was sullen and angry (v 4). The king had a history of sullen and angry behavior (1 Ki 20:1). Not only is the Hebrew phrase “sullen and angry” exclusive to Ahab, the separate word “sullen” and the curious version of the word “angry” are also not used elsewhere or for anyone. It frustrated Ahab to know that Naboth couldn’t sell the land even if he wanted to. Naboth couldn’t do business with Ahab even if his life depended on it. The land that was entrusted by the Lord belonged to his fathers.
However, Jezebel had other ideas, differing values and second opinion. Her challenge to Ahab at the sight of the king wasted away: “Are you the king or the knave of the land? Are you the chief or the chump?” “Do you give order or follow orders?” Jezebel had different values from Ahab. Killing was not beyond her. She was too stubborn to be stopped and he was too helpless to stop her. Her plan involved not only two scoundrels, but also the elders and the nobles of the city. The nobles made their debut in the Old Testament and they started off on a wrong foot. The first and only fast (v 12) recorded in the Scriptures so far was initiated by King David, who fasted at the death of his child with Bathsheba (2 Sam 12:16-17).
Two Lives are Interrogated and Indicted
15 As soon as Jezebel heard that Naboth had been stoned to death, she said to Ahab, “Get up and take possession of the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite that he refused to sell you. He is no longer alive, but dead.” 16 When Ahab heard that Naboth was dead, he got up and went down to take possession of Naboth’s vineyard. 17 Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite: 18 “Go down to meet Ahab king of Israel, who rules in Samaria. He is now in Naboth’s vineyard, where he has gone to take possession of it. 19 Say to him, ’This is what the LORD says: Have you not murdered a man and seized his property?’ Then say to him, ’This is what the LORD says: In the place where dogs licked up Naboth’s blood, dogs will lick up your blood-yes, yours!’“ 20 Ahab said to Elijah, “So you have found me, my enemy!” “I have found you,” he answered, “because you have sold yourself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD. 21’I am going to bring disaster on you. I will consume your descendants and cut off from Ahab every last male in Israel-slave or free. 22 I will make your house like that of Jeroboam son of Nebat and that of Baasha son of Ahijah, because you have provoked me to anger and have caused Israel to sin.’ 23 “And also concerning Jezebel the LORD says: ’Dogs will devour Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel.’ 24 “Dogs will eat those belonging to Ahab who die in the city, and the birds of the air will feed on those who die in the country.” 25(There was never a man like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD, urged on by Jezebel his wife. 26 He behaved in the vilest manner by going after idols, like the Amorites the LORD drove out before Israel.) (1 Kings 21:15-26)
A young evangelist, blessed with the gift of healing, worked his way down the aisle of a revival. In the third row, he demonstrated his powers by making a blind man see. Next, he made a deaf woman hear, then caused a lame woman to throw away her crutches and walk. The crowd went wild.
The faith healer reached the back row, approaching a man with a cast on his arm and his neck in a brace. As the preacher began to raise his arms, the man jumped up and stumbled backward.
“Keep your hands off me, preacher!” the man hissed. “I’m on workman’s comp (insurance).” (Argus Hamilton, L. A. Times 9/20/94)
Ahab had a choice, but he sided with Jezebel and not with truth. Elijah the prophet chided Ahab for not only his choice of an idolatrous wife, but also his refusal to ask any questions. Ahab, surprisingly, did not fight or protest the charge. Bad news in the form of Elijah arrived at the same time with Ahab at the scene of Naboth’s vineyard. The king was like a kid alone in a candy store with Naboth’s death, but his highly anticipated seizure of the vineyard was nipped in the bud. Just at the time he arrived to record the title of Naboth’s house to his name, his old enemy Elijah poured cold water and brought a charge on him. The indictment was swift, serious and surprising: “You have sold yourself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD,” (v 20) and “You have provoked me to anger and have caused Israel to sin” (v 21). In Ahab’s defense, Jezebel was the mastermind, middleman, meddler and mouthpiece. In truth, Jezebel was openly the monster (v 27), but Ahab was practically the murderer. She was the main culprit, but he was the silent killer. Jezebel was the brain, but Ahab was the beneficiary. The king was not unreasonably charged with Jezebel’s crime. He did not ask who did it, when and where did he die, and how he died at the report of Naboth’s death. He did not even protest his innocence, but merely protested Elijah’s meddling.
Ahab invited this upon himself by inviting the marriage, the heathen wife and her evil practices into the house. Ahab was the only king accused of being a sell-out in the Bible – twice charged (vv 20, 25), because he sold himself to do evil, urged on by his wife who added salt and spice to his evil deeds, and he sold himself to interfaith marriage. The Hebrew word “sell” occurs 80 times in the Bible, 79 times for buying and selling in trade and business, but it is used only this time for buying and selling of one’s character and soul.
Ahab joined the likes of Jeroboam (1 Kings 15:30, 16:2) and Baasha (1 Kings 16:7, 13) in the indictment. The three were charged with provoking the Lord’s anger. You can only provoke the Lord’s anger by three things: provoke the Lord to anger with sins (1 Ki 16:2), with the work of one’s hands (1 Ki 16:7), and by worshipping worthless idols (1 Ki 16:13, 26, 22:53). Like Jeroboam of the first northern dynasty and Baasha of the succeeding dynasty, Ahab had the chance to turn things around for the third northern dynasty, but he worsened things instead of improving things. It couldn’t be worse. This is the first time the indictment “very abominably” (v 26) is used on a king, a person or a nation.
Conclusion: It’s been said, “Be careful what you wish for.” Interfaith marriage is a sin of disobedience, pride, ignorance, self-denial and self-sufficiency. The prime victims include those are arrogant, those who are aging, those who are lonely, those who are young in faith and those who are superficial in faith. If you are dating an unbeliever, marriage will have to wait till the person accepts Christ for himself or herself, not because of you or in-laws; dating is an obedience issue, not an opportunity issue. Do you mistakenly believe that God depends on the opportunities you make or that He follows the conditions you set? Are you first seeking His kingdom and His righteousness? Do you believe God has your welfare in mind?
Victor Yap
Other sermons in the series and other sermon series:
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