Loving Your Neighbor
Matthew 22:36-40
Relationships are the key to life. Jesus said all of the commandments of God can be boiled down to just two - Loving God and Loving your neighbor as yourself. By themselves they are too vague for self centered humans to follow. So God expanded them to 10 and gave the 10 great commandments, and then the rest of the Bible further explains them. So we know we ought to Love God with all our hearts and our neighbors as our selves, and it seems common sense should show us practically how to at least to the latter. Funny thing about common sense, it isn’t so common. So I want to share 6 simple ways to love your neighbor as your self. If you do them you will also discover they can be called 6 ways to make people like you. It’s funny I hear people say they just don’t like me, and I don’t know why. Usually it is very simple -a lack of love. Love covers a multitude of sins the Bible says, and it also cover a multitude faults. We usually like someone because of how they treated us or those close to us. In College I had a real problem liking some guy in our dorm. He was good looking, popular and seemed to think he was better than others - at least in my mind. The truth is I really didn’t know him very well, and didn’t go out of my way to change it. Over time we discovered we had a connection. His grandfather was my pastor growing up, and our parents had been friends years ago. He became more friendly toward me, and I liked him (had positive feelings toward him). I didn’t have to struggle in my spirit to like him. What had changed? The way he acknowledged me. We never became close friends, but I felt different when we interacted. When someone’s name is brought up and people make comments positive or negative it almost always has to do with how they treated you. People say they are awful. We say they have always been nice to me. Or they say they are great, and we say they haven’t treated me great. We can’t control the others, but we can do things in our behavior that expresses the love Jesus calls for. And the return on that investment is that most people will like you in time also.
I Become genuinely Interested in Other People (Jesus said Deny Yourself)
You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years trying to get people interested in you.(Dale Carnegie)
Jesus is the supreme example. He was called a friend of sinners
People are interested in themselves morning, noon, and night.
Group Photo -who do you look for first. Yourself
New York Telephone Company -study of the most often used word. 3,900 times in 500 phone calls. I ,I ,I ,I ,
Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.
Phil 2:4
I got to Starfire on State street because of the manager Jim. He always remembers you and speaks to you as a best friend. I used to wear a Carolina Panthers coat six monthes or a year ago. He still talks to me about how Carolina is doing when I walk in even though I haven’t worn it for about a year. Why can’t Christians do that and show Christ’s love, this guy isn’t even a Christian yet.
Love requires us to put ourselves out to do things for other people-things that require time, energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness.
This won’t work if you have ulterior motives, and you are doing things to get something.
II Smile
Genesis 33:10 "No, please accept them," Jacob said, "for what a relief it is to see your friendly smile. It is like seeing the smile of God!
One tired waitress to another: “I always start the day with a smile—and get it over with.” - “Almanac” in Minneapolis Tribune
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. - Charles Gordy in Thomaston, Ga., Times
How can anyone tell if we have the joy of knowing Jesus if we don’t smile. Our joy must reach our face.
For the benefit of others and it will also benefit ourselves.
Too many Christians are being controlled by their feelings not by their spirit. Led around by the nose.
I don’t feel like smiling. What is there to smile about?
My College professor Mr Pursley used to say no matter how bad it is, two truths can make us smile (rejoice)
“God is on his throne in heaven, and I’m still his child”
Undertakers
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., was a member of the U.S. Supreme Court for 30 years. His mind, wit and work earned him the unofficial title of “the greatest justice since John Marshall.” At one point in his life, Justice Holmes explained his choice of a career by saying: “I might have entered the ministry if certain clergymen I knew had not looked and acted so much like undertakers.”
Moody Bible Institute’s Today In The Word, June, 1988, p. 13.
You don’t feel like smiling. 1. Force yourself to smile anyway 2. Act like you are already happy. While alone whistle hum or sing. Your feelings can follow your actions. Quit allowing your actions to follow your feelings.
Abe Lincoln said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be”
A Professor of Psychology at Michigan said, “People who smile tend to manage, teach, and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children.
I have tried this for the past few months. And it is amazing. In Walmart just smile at strangers instead of ignoring them. Many will smile back and it will lift their day. You are the light of the world -Church. Let it shine
III Remember the Persons Name
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
It the Bible it often reflected their character, and thus had greater value.
God even calls the stars by name. He reveals his character by his names.
Calling a person by name and remembering their name is an expression of love often over looked.
Jerry Falwell - was able to remember 10,000 names of people in his church. It shows you value them.
Most of us don’t remember names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate to repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds.
Napoleon - p82 boasted he could remember the names of every person he ever met. His technique was simple. If he didn’t hear the name clearly, he said, “So sorry I didn’t get the name clearly,” If it was an unusual name he would ask how is it spelled? During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried to associate it in his mind with the persons features, expression and general appearance.
If they were of greater importance as soon as he was alone, he wrote it down on a piece of paper. Looked at it, concentrated on it, fixed it securely in his mind, and torn up the paper.
Eunice p83
IV Become a Good Listener (encourage others to talk about themselves)
James 1:19
My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry
Abe Lincoln p 92
Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that.
People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves. And they are uneducated no matter how instructed they may be.
Listen Slowly
Writer Charles Swindoll once found himself with too many commitments in too few days. He got nervous and tense about it.
“I was snapping at my wife and our children, choking down my food at mealtimes, and feeling irritated at those unexpected interruptions through the day,” he recalled in his book Stress Fractures. “Before long, things around our home started reflecting the pattern of my hurry-up style. It was becoming unbearable.
“I distinctly remember after supper one evening, the words of our younger daughter, Colleen. She wanted to tell me something important that had happened to her at school that day. She began hurriedly, ‘Daddy, I wanna tell you somethin’ and I’ll tell you really fast.’
“Suddenly realizing her frustration, I answered, ‘Honey, you can tell me—and you don’t have to tell me really fast. Say it slowly.”
“I’ll never forget her answer: ‘Then listen slowly.’”
Bits & Pieces, June 24, 1993, pp. 13-14
Someone to Listen
Teenage prostitutes, during interviews in a San Francisco study, were asked: “Is there anything you needed most and couldn’t get?” Their response, invariably preceded by sadness and tears was unanimous: “What I needed most was someone to listen to me. Someone who cared enough to listen to me.”
Jim Reapsome, Homemade
V Talk about what the Other Person is Interested In
Teddy Rosevelt
Aunt Libby
Jim Dorcy -Cold Turkey Evangelism -Look around the living room to find out what interests them. Ask them about it. Be Genuine.
VI Make the Other Person Feel Important (And do it with sincerity)
a. Look for something you can honestly admire
The writings of the Apostle Paul in the New Testament always began with praise.
Post office
b. Jesus and the Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”
c. You can do it by asking for help or information or instruction they are good at. Let them feel they are helping you. You can’t know everything and do everything well.
Emerson said, “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”
The Apostle Paul said “Esteem others more important than yourself”
Conclusion: If People don’t like you -they won’t like your Jesus. We often must win them to ourselves before we can win them to him. These are some very practical ways to do that, however, our selfish nature will try to use them for selfish ends. If we do in the end we will fail to win them to ourselves and to Christ. We must deny ourselves take up the cross and follow Jesus if we are going to successfully do these things for him. Then we will truly love our neighbor as ourself.
The main points came from "How to win Friends and Influence People" Dale Carnegie
