Formed for God’s Family
The Purpose-Driven Life, part 3
Wildwind Community Church
David K. Flowers channeling Rick Warren
October 28, 2007
Now we’re in this 40 days series on God’s purpose for your life. And last week, we looked at His first purpose, which is to get to know Him and to love Him. The Bible calls that worship because you were planned for God’s pleasure. And today, we’re going to look at the second purpose, which is that you are formed for God’s family.
Ephesians 1:5 (MSG)
(5) Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!)
The entire Bible, this entire book, is the story of God building a family. It is an eternal family. You were made to last forever.
Now, once you understand and get started on God’s first purpose for your life, which we talked about last week, getting to know and to love God through worship, God wants you to begin to focus and start practicing His second purpose for your life. And here it is in 1 Peter 2:17. Read it with me.
1 Peter 2:17 (MSG)
(17…Love your spiritual family...
Again! Again! Love your spiritual family. That’s what God wants you to do. That’s the second purpose of your life. God says I want you to learn to love the people in your family. Why? Well, there are several reasons. First, your physical family is going to eventually fall apart. In fact, many of them fall apart here on earth. But your spiritual family is going to go on forever. And so you’re going to spend more time with your spiritual family than you do with your physical family. God wants you to learn to love them.
Now, why else does He want us to learn to love them? Second, it makes us more like God, because God is love. Third, he wants His children to learn to get along together. All of you parents know you usually want your kids to get along with each other.
So our second purpose in life is Fellowship. That’s the word that the Bible uses to describe loving each other. Now, again, this word, like the word we looked at last week, Worship, is often misunderstood. I mean, if I were to go out and ask people on the street, “What do you think of when I say the word ‘fellowship,” some would say a casual conversation, some would say eating out together, some might say going to church. See there’s a huge difference between simple talking and real fellowship.
Real fellowship is loving God’s family. Read this with me:
1 John 4:21
The person who loves God must also love other believers.
We have to love other believers. Now, how do you do that? Well, fortunately, the Bible gives us crystal clear instructions. Paul wrote this, he said, "I’m writing so that you’ll know how to live in the family of God. That family is the church." See, the church is a family. It is not a building; it is not an institution; it is not an organization; it is not a club. It is a family. A lot of people say, “Well, I’m going to go to church,” as if church is a place you go to. That’s not correct. Church is not a place you go to. Church is a family you belong to. Big difference. It’s more than a building (and for us it’s WAY more than a building!), more than a service. It is family that we are to belong to. And the truth is, in God’s family there are four levels of fellowship. Today, we’re going to look at each one, because it is impossible to fulfill all the other purposes God had for your life without fellowship. You were not meant to be here on earth alone, to go through life on your own. The fact is we need each other.
So there are four levels of Fellowship, the first level is Membership. The first level is, write this in with me, "Choosing to belong," making the choice to belong. That’s the most basic level. That means you find a church family and you choose to get connected to it. Look at what the Bible has to say in Ephesians 2:19. Would you read this verse with me? "You are members of God’s very own family and you belong in God’s household with every other Christian." You belong. The Christian life is not just a matter of believing. It is matter of belonging, and you and I must choose to belong. Fellowship begins with belonging, with making that choice. God wants you to make the choice to be a part of His family. When you were born, you automatically became a part of the human race. But you have to choose to belong to the family of God, the church. It is a choice.
You know, you hear some people say, “Well, I’m a Christian, but I don’t want to belong to any church.” That just doesn’t make sense. The church is where you live out what it means to be a Christian. That’s like saying, “I’m a football player, but I don’t want to be a part of any team.” It doesn’t work. That’s like saying, “I’m a tuba player, but I don’t want to be a part of an orchestra.” What’s the point? A Christian without a church family is an orphan. God meant us to be a part of a family.
This next week in the Purpose Driven Life book, we’re going to be reading together six reasons why you need to be a part of a church family, why it meets your needs and why you meet other people’s needs. The Bible tells us this in Romans 12, verse 5, “In Christ we who are many form one Body, and each member belongs to all the others." In this decision that we make, you belong to every other Christian. We are members together. Now, I know the word "membership," is a funny word to some of us. But did you know that this word originally was a Christian word? It came right out of these verses in the Bible. I know that today it is used for being a member of every kind of club and signing up for this and joining that. But originally, the meaning was right here in the Bible; a member of the Body of Christ. Just like your hand is a member of your body, that’s how tightly we’re tied to each other.
You know, it is only in America that we have what I call these floating believers, you know, people who go from church to church to church. One week, I’m a part of this church and the next week – oh, they are doing something hot over here. And next week I’m over here. If you want to grow, if you want to see God at work in your life, you have got to join a body. Remember, we are parts of a body. A liver or lung or heart can’t just jump around from one body to the next to the next. If you tried to do that, if you did that with an organ, it would shrivel up and die. And the same thing happens to us as believers. We need to attach ourselves to a group of believers, where we say, “I want to be a part of what’s going on there.” Jesus loves the church. And you and I need to have the same kind of love. Jesus calls the church the “body.” We need to have that same kind of respect for it, to recognize what it means.
Now Wildwind is all about letting people explore and investigate. We believe and teach that every single believer should be serious enough about church that they take the time to find a place that is right for them. During a certain season of our lives, we need to check out churches, just like there’s a season for dating in our lives. But just as the time eventually comes to settle down and commit to one person, the time also comes when we need to commit to one church. Marital polygamy is frowned upon by nearly all people, but church polygamy is far more accepted – and I believe this is because people don’t understand the purpose of Fellowship.
So the first level of fellowship is choosing to belong. The second level of Fellowship is a little bit deeper, when you go a little further into the family of God, and this is learning to share. I call this “the friendship level.” Learning to share. You see, you were created in God’s image. So you were made for relationships. The Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” In other words, we were made for each other. Life is not a solo act. And you need friends.
Acts 2:44
All the believers met together constantly and shared everything with each other.
Notice two things: one, you can’t develop friendships without meeting together; and two, you can’t develop friendships without sharing. Now, the more frequently you meet together, the closer you’re going to get. Do you ever see some people that have really deep friendships; they have long-term friendships, 20, 30 years, something like that. And you go, “Man, how lucky.” You’re kind of a little envious. How lucky they are to have a deep friend like that. And I say to you, it is not luck at all. It is a choice. You choose to develop friendships by making time for them. Do you know why most people are lonely? They don’t make time for friendships. They are too busy achieving; they are too busy working; they are too busy doing other things. They are not willing to put the time into it. You have to meet together. And until you start saying this is going to be a priority in my life, you’re not going to develop any deep friends. They don’t just happen. They happen because you choose to make the time for them, just like solid marriages only happen when we make time and invest in them. It is not luck. It is a choice. You can’t develop friendships without sharing. It says, “they shared everything."
Now, those of you who are parents know one of the fundamental lessons of childhood is learning to share. God says “You know what? In the family of God I want you to learn to share with other believers.” So what are we supposed to share? Well, the Bible is full of instructions on things we’re to share as Christians with each other. Let me just mention a few. Number 1, the Bible says we’re to share our experiences. Experiences. The Bible says people learn from one other “just as iron sharpens iron." Have you ever heard of that phrase "its wise to learn from experience?” Well, it is wise to learn from the experiences of other people, because you don’t have time to make all the mistakes yourself. You see, if everything you learn in life you have to learn personally by trial and error, you’re going to go through a lot of problems unnecessarily and about the time you figure it all out, you’re dead. You don’t have enough time to learn everything on your own.
Second, the Bible says we’re to share our homes.
1 Peter 4:9
Open up your homes to each other.
It doesn’t say if they are really nice ones, open them up. It just says open them up. They don’t have to be really nice. It just says open up your home. Why does God say that? Why are we to share our homes? I’ll tell you why – because you cannot fellowship in a crowd. You can only fellowship in a small group. Or one on one. We’re not going to do any fellowshipping here today. It is impossible to fellowship with this many people. We can worship together. We can celebrate together. We can learn together. But no fellowship will take place during this service. You’re going to walk out of here not really knowing anybody any better than you do right now. Fellowship only takes place in the small group. And that’s why the Bible says open up your homes to each other. That’s where you really get to know people. Did you know in the first 300 years of Christianity, there were no church buildings? All church meetings were held in homes. All of them. There were no buildings. And that, by the way, was the fastest period of growth for the church. One of the reasons we always say over and over again, “Go get in a small group” is because that’s a Biblical principle.
I hope you have joined a small group for this study we’re doing on the Purpose-Driven Life. Small groups are the church in action. The church distributed. But let’s be honest. How many of you would say, “The first time I ever went to a small group, I was a little nervous”? Can I see your hand? Yeah, right. Sure. Because you didn’t know what was going on, you had all kinds of fears. I was really nervous the first time I went to a Wildwind small group, which was during the Purpose-Driven Life campaign we did in 2003. It’s one thing to stand up here and talk, but when I’m in a smaller group I run the risk of people actually getting to know me. And you what? That’s scary. You wanna know why? Because I’m just like everybody else. Deep down inside, every one of us thinks, “These people only like me because they don’t really know me. If people really knew me they could never accept me – never love me. Deep down, in a place where no one can see and that no one knows – I’m not okay.” We all have that fear, and we’re scared half to death that we’re gonna be found out and rejected.
But the Bible says we need to learn to share. Can you see why that matters in the Christian life? If we are members of Christ’s body, and Christ is God, and God is love, and God’s Spirit lives in us, and we are commanded to share with one another, what will we be sharing? We’ll be sharing love. And slowly, one relationship, one meeting, one interaction at a time, we’ll learn to receive love from one another, and offer it to one another. And the love we receive and offer is God’s love, and we will find and offer healing through that love. We will learn to come out of a world characterized by fear and suspicion and paranoia and self-protection and come into a world of people who DO know us, who DO see our deepest parts, and who say, “I love you still.” Trust me, you are never going to feel a part of the Wildwind family until you get in a group.
Now, not only do we share our experiences in our homes, the Bible says, number three, we’re to share our problems. We’re not meant to face our problems alone. The Bible says, “Share each other’s troubles and problems.” Did you know when you share a joy, it is doubled, and when you share a problem, it is cut in half? The Bible says, “Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.” Sometimes in a small group you die of laughter and sometimes you’re all shedding a tear. Why? Depends on what is going on in your group during the week. You don’t have to fix everybody’s problems. God hasn’t told you to do that. It just says share them. This means lend a listening ear. You don’t have to fix. In fact, a lot of times, trying to fix a problem doesn’t help. It’s just sitting there and going, “Boy I feel for you,” “Been there,” “I understand,” “That’s tough.” Just sharing sympathy and experience.
Now, you’re never going to go to this second level of fellowship until you get into a small group. That’s why the Bible says in Hebrews 10:25,
Hebrews 10:25
Let us not give up the habit of meeting together. Instead, let us encourage one another.
The primary purpose of a group is to encourage each other. And it says, “Don’t give up the habit." I hope you’ll never give up this habit some of you are starting for the first time this 40 days, because you’re always going to need encouragement.
This is the second level, learning to share. Now, I want to talk to you about an even deeper level. The third level is Partnership. Partnership is doing my part. Partnership is realizing that I’ve got a contribution to make; that the family of God needs you. Listen, God did not bring you to Wildwind to sit and soak in some spiritual spa. That’s not why you’re here. He brought you here to serve. He wants to make a difference through your life. In every family there are family responsibilities. You divide up the chores, being part of that family, as 1) you do your part, 2) you do your part, and 3) you do your part. This is God’s family. And every one of us has a part. The Bible is filled with the fact that you and I are to work with one another in getting this job done. There are 58 references in the New Testament to the words, “one another.” We serve one another. We love one another. We pray with one another. The Bible even says we have to put up with one another when we’re doing all of this. That’s how it works together. This is love in action. Not just in words. You see, it is great to share your heart, that’s level two. But it is even greater to do your part. That is what level three is all about.
Now, the deepest level of fellowship in the family of God is what I call "Kinship." Now, kinship is an old term. We don’t use it much anymore. In fact, when I say “kinship” or “kinfolk,” some of you think of this:
[Music theme playing from “Beverly Hillbillies]
But that’s not what we’re talking about. Kinship literally means your closest relationships. When somebody has an accident, they say, “Notify the next-of-kin”, and they don’t mean go find Aunt Ethyl. They mean find the person they care about most, the person who is closest to them, the one they hold most dearly. And the Bible says that’s the kind of attitude we should have.
That kinship is loving believers like family; treating and loving believers like they’re family, being completely committed to them. The Bible says of the Christians in the book of Acts,
Acts 2:42
They were like family to each other.
Romans 12:10
Be devoted to each other like a loving family.
Now, the word for fellowship in the Bible is the Greek word “koinonia." And the basic root literally means being as committed to each other as we are to Jesus Christ; that is the deepest level of fellowship. Being as committed to each other as we are to Jesus Christ. That is family relationship. That is kinship. That is saying I’m at the level of being willing to sacrifice for you. You see, many Christians know John 3:16, "God so loved the world," but many don’t know First John 3:16. That one is just as important as John 3:16. It says this there on your outline, "We know what real love is because Christ gave up His life for us. And we ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters." This is the deepest level of fellowship; sacrificing for each other. It’s the kind of love Jesus Christ had for you. He died for you.
Now, in the Bible it talks about the fellowship of suffering. And, frankly, here in America, we Christians know very little about this level of fellowship. Overseas a lot of them do, because they are being persecuted. Over ten million Christians die every year, mostly in either communist or Muslim countries, simply for being Christians. And so we come to this verse, and people in other places can take it literally. They are literally laying down their lives. “I’ll take a bullet for you. I’m going to protect you.” They are laying down their lives for each other, as brothers and sisters in the family of God. Now, we’re not persecuted like that here in America, so it is hard for us to experience this deepest level of fellowship where you’re actually giving your life for a brother or sister in the family of God.
So how do you do that? How do you get to this deepest level in America? Well, you do it by standing with other believers when they are going through a crisis. When everybody else walks out, you walk in; you’re there for them in the tough times.
Friends, life is all about loving God and learning to love each other. If you miss this, you have missed the purpose of your life and I pity you. Because life is not about accomplishments. It is about relationships. You were put on this earth to know God and love Him, and to know His family and love them, because that’s who we’re spending eternity with.
The Bible says this in John 13, Jesus said, “Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” What we want Wildwind to be known for is not our size, not our sermons, not our singing, not our strategy, but our love. We want people to say, “That’s the place where they love each other,” because that’s what Christianity is all about, loving God and loving each other.
I’m sometimes asked, "Why are you so confident that Wildwind is going to grow large?" I’ll tell you why. Because when people find a church, a place, where there is genuine love, you’d have to lock the doors to keep people away, because people are not looking for religion, they are looking for a family. They are not looking for doctrine; they are looking for love.
The greatest privilege you will ever be offered in life is a privilege of being a part of God’s family. You see, God’s family is a laboratory for learning to love. Some of you grew up in homes that didn’t have a lot of love. And, honestly, you don’t know how to love. In fact, I have come to the conclusion after pastoring for thirteen years; most people don’t have the slightest idea how to love. The only love they know how to do is sexual love, romantic love. They don’t know any other kind of love. So we have to be taught, and the church (the family of God) is where you learn to love real people, not perfect people – not ideal people. Nobody in your small group is ideal and neither are you. We must learn to love real people, and that’s what God put us on earth to do. We’ve had people lately who had been in small group but who have kind of allowed life to derail them, causing them to drop out of groups and give up on these personal commitments they had once made to a small group. If that’s you, and especially if you are a member of Wildwind Church, in the coming weeks we’re going to be approaching you and asking you when you’ll be getting back in. My friends, listen. We’re here to support and encourage one another in a new way of life, not wish one another the best as we all continue floundering around in our lost priorities. And if you’re not in a group, I will again say that I hope you will consider joining. It’s not too late. It’s never too late. Please see Pastor Brent today if you’re interested.
So let me ask you a couple relevant questions: which of these levels of fellowship are you at? Have you even made it to the first one, choosing to belong? Are you still floating around from church to church to church, attending here and attending there? You’ve never gotten committed. You’ve never gotten into membership. You need to choose a church. You need to take Discovery if you’re going to choose to come here. There are cards on the greeters table where Mike and Sue are, you can sign up for Discovery to learn more about God, about the church, and your place in it. Maybe you’re never been baptized. You need to be baptized and say, “I’m not ashamed.” That’s the most basic level. If you haven’t done that, that’s your next step.
Then you need to learn to share. And where do you do that? In a small group. You don’t learn to share in a place like this. Then you need to not just share your heart, you need to do your part. That’s partnership. Find your niche. Find your place to give back, to make a contribution. If you’re in the family of God, you have some family responsibilities. God expects you to do your part in the family. You don’t just slide along while everybody else does theirs.
Then you move to this deepest level. Are there any other believers that know you are devoted to them? That you’re going to be there for them in their crisis? Even more basic question is, are you a part of the family of God? You say, “Well, isn’t everybody a part of the family of God?” No. Everybody is created by God, but not everybody is a child of God. You have to choose to be a part of God’s family. God gave us one condition, the last verse on your outline. "You are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.”
Let’s pray.
