There is a story of a girl who had to write a paper for school dealing with anger. She went to her father and said Dad what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” The father replied, "It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean."
With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, "Hello, is Melvin there?" The man answered, "There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial"
"See," said the father to his daughter. "That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch...." The father dialed the number again. "Hello, is Melvin there?" asked the father. "Now look here!" came the heated reply. "You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here! You’ve got lot of guts calling again!" The receiver slammed down hard.
The father turned to his daughter and said, "You see, that was anger. Now I’ll show you what exasperation means.” He dialed the same number, and when a violent voice roared, "Hello!" The father calmly said, "Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?"
Now surely you and I would not respond in that manner if someone called us like that, or would we? Over the next several weeks, we are going to be looking at some of the ugly monsters that are in our lives and how you and I can remove these monsters from our lives. Today’s monster is the monster known as anger and I want to help all of us come face to face with this monster and come away with an anger management program. So that the next time the copier jams at work or someone cuts you off on the road or the vending machine takes your money that we will not have steam coming out of our heads as we deal with the battle with the monster Anger.
So I wonder, is there anyone in the church today that has ever been angry? If you say no, then let me ask you? When you were a little child did you ever throw a temper tantrum? Did you ever scream yell and hurl your body in an unbelievable fashion with arms and legs going in directions you did not know they could go? If so then you have been angry before.
We must be honest today and realize that anger is a serious problem in today’s society. It can be found in homes, roads, schools, ball fields, work and just about anywhere and everywhere today. Statistics show that 1 out of ever 5 Americans has an anger management problem. And the problem with anger is that it can destroy a person if it is not handled properly. It is an important issue as the Bible speaks about anger 262 times in 256 verses. We must learn to control our anger so that it does not control us.
This morning I want to begin a new series that is going to be tough. So this morning let’s look at the advice we read from Paul on anger management. First of all we must realize that…
I. IT IS OKAY TO GET ANGRY SOMETIMES
Okay, you heard me write and you need to write this down. I’ll say it again It Is Okay for us to Be Angry sometimes. Look at the first part of verse 26. The KJV says “Be ye angry, and sin not.” The NIV says “In your anger, do not sin.” Let me share something with you today. And this is vital in our understanding of anger okay. Anger in itself is an emotion like crying, laughing etc. Anger in itself is an emotion and is not a sin. When you get angry you are not sinning, okay. It’s the reaction when we become angry that can become the sin. It’s how we treat our anger.
In our passage today Paul is helping us to look at anger in a different light. Anger has been created for a good purpose with good intentions but what happens is when it turns into selfish purposes and bad intentions.
So while Yes, the Bible does say that you can become angry, we must also read the next words. The KJV says Be ye angry but sin not. The NIV says in your anger, do not sin. So while it is okay to have a Godly anger we must not allow our anger to control us and to lead us away from God.
Some people would ask the question “Well what is it okay to get angry about?” Well the best answer for that is that it is okay to get angry at the things that make Jesus angry. Now did Jesus ever get angry? You bet he did. Probably the most famous example is found in Matthew 21: 12-14. GO ahead and turn with me there for a moment but keep your finger in Ephesians. It is here in which Jesus enters the temple and sees people buying and selling animals in there. They had corrupted the temple and Jesus was hot and became angry. It says that Jesus began driving out those who were buying and selling. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling things. But notice his anger. And Jesus actions of turning over the tables and chasing the dealers out was not an act of anger toward the people as it was a healthy anger directed at the lack of respect for God’s house.
And I want us to be clear that on that day as Jesus went into that temple as he was mad, he shares with us that you can get angry and not sin. Jesus had a Godly anger.
And if we want to be like Jesus then we have to ask the question Well how can I have that Godly anger that Jesus had. How can I express it? Well it comes by handling anger in a healthy way.
When anger comes into our lives the first thing that we must do is NOT LOSE FOCUS. We must keep our focus on God and when we are angry to ask God to help us have a godly anger instead of an anger that is selfish.
So Our first step in controlling anger is to admit that It Is Okay to be angry sometimes but Paul does not stop there and he shares with us our second step in anger management. And that is this. While it is okay to be angry sometimes,
II. Our Anger Must BE Resolved
I want you to look at the second part of verse 26. The KJV says “let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” The NIV says “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” The Message Paraphrase says “Don’t stay angry and don’t go to bed angry.” In all three of these versions the message is clear. Our anger must be resolved quickly. It must not build up and fester. We must handle our anger in a healthy way.
So how do we do that? Well the first thing is that we must not let the anger store up inside of us. It will not do us any good. What happens is our bodies become like volcanoes and the more anger that we put inside us pushes on us and pushes on us until there is no more room to go and then we explode. And when that happens the next bad thing happens and that is that we blow up. And that is when we must be careful.
There was a lady who went up to Billy Sunday who was a great evangelist preacher and she tried to rationalize her angry outbursts. She said there’s nothing wrong with losing my temper. I blow up, and then it’s all over.” To which Sunday replied “So does a shotgun and look at the damage it leaves behind.
We need to slowly release our anger and to do it in a Godly way. We must be careful with anger. Someone once said that anger is just one letter short of danger and if anger is not released properly then it can get out of control and be devastating.
Anger can be a healthy emotion but it is not designed to be a permanent emotion. Why did Paul say that we should do it before the sun goes down? Well in the O.T. sunset was the time in which anything that anybody had done wrong against God or God’s people was to have been made right. To take care of the problem instead of letting it fester and lead to bad health. Paul encourages us to handle our anger immediately and not let it build up. And Jesus gives us that example. Go back to the passage in Matthew. Here is the example Jesus gives us. See if you catch it. Let’s read it again:
READ VERSES 12-14:
Do you see it? Do you see the example? What did he do? He resolved His anger. Jesus goes into the temple and he turns over the tables and benches and says that this is to be a place of prayer and not a den of robbers and then notice verse 14. You can circle the words in your bible. AT THE TEMPLE Jesus healed the lame and the blind. The point I am trying to make is that Jesus did not remain angry. He resolved his anger. He did not dwell on what had happened, he did not allow it to affect the relationships that He had with the people, and He did not allow His anger to stop Him from loving His people. He resolved his anger and then immediately he went on doing His ministry.
Wow what a great example. I don’t know about you but it’s easy for us to hold on instead of letting go isn’t it. I will confess that there have been times in which I have gotten angry over something and it has ruined my entire day. Whether it’s dropping food onto our clothes and staining them or someone cutting us off if we don’t release our anger and get resolve it in a healthy way it will do terrible things and can cause us to do terrible things.
One of the anger management sites that I looked at this week shared an interesting study. Statistics so that anger will cause a woman’s blood pressure to rise 6 points. For the man it will rise 14 points. It also indicated that unresolved anger is the number one cause for psychological depression. The point is, when we get angry, anger takes control. Friends if we are not careful to resolve our anger then all it will do is build and build and build until it begins to control us. And I promise you if we don’t resolve it, it will only intensify. But I hope that we will choose to take the road Jesus took and be willing to go from anger to mercy in one day. To not let anger control us but to let us control our anger. For Paul tells us that if we do not resolve our anger, here is what will happen in our life.
III. Unresolved Anger Gives the Devil a Place In Our Lives
Now we have talked about the importance of anger management and the last section of our verse today tells us what happens if we are not willing to control and resolve our anger. And friends it ain’t pretty.
Verse 27 pretty much states it bluntly. The KJV says “Neither give place to the devil.” The NIV says “and do not give the devil a foothold.” The Message paraphrase says “Don’t give the devil that kind of foothold in your life.”
I don’t know maybe it’s just me but it seems that people don’t take as seriously as they used the power that the devil has in this life. But Paul tells us that if we hold on to our anger and let it control us and don’t resolve it then we are opening up a foothold or a place for the devil to come in and reside. That’s all it takes. Just one thing and the Devil comes in and takes shop. You have heard the expression Give the devil and inch and he’ll be a ruler. If we are not willing to control our anger and resolve it then Satan will use it so fast that we won’t know what hit us. Think about it. We get mad and then next thing you know we are losing control not just in our anger but in our words in our actions, in things that we do. You see how fast unresolved anger can ruin our life. And next thing you know we have lost our jobs, we have lost our friends, we have lost our credibility, but more importantly we begin to lose our testimony and our opportunity to share Christ. Think about it. Let someone see you and I handle our anger in a negative ungodly way through our words and actions and then let’s ask someone who saw it if they would like to come to church with us. How will that work out?
When anger gets a foothold in your life, you are more susceptible to doing something you would not normally do and that is what Paul warns us about. It leads to things that we will regret in our lives. In verse 28 Paul says that unresolved anger will lead to stealing and we will begin to care less about others and more about ourselves. In verse 29 Paul tells us that unresolved anger will lead to unwholesome talk and instead of building others up, we will be interested in tearing them down.
How many times do we allow anger to control our mouths and cause us to utter things that we come to regret immediately after we say them? Anger seems to make the mouth work faster than the brain. So that is why when we are angry we should count to ten before speaking and if you and I are very angry then we should count to 100 and still not speak and just turn away.
But there is one other thing that unresolved anger will do and that is the most serious of all. Paul explains in verse 30 that unresolved anger will lead to us grieving the Holy Spirit of God. Both the NIV and the KJV mention that we are not to grieve the Holy Spirit. What does that mean? It means that unresolved anger in our lives will cause us to be distant from God. As Christians when you and I gave our lives to Christ and accepted Him as our Lord and Savior John tells us that we were given the Holy Spirit to be living within us. Yet here is what happens. The Holy Spirit is a living instrument in our lives and when we allow unresolved anger to overtake our lives then the Holy Spirit becomes saddened. The spirit is still there but the anger prevents the Spirit from working fully within you.
Here is a good illustration that I came across that speaks to how we can prevent the Holy Spirit from working fully in our lives. Let’s say someone is teaching you to play the piano. You start off with a great deal of enthusiasm and energy and make some real progress in a short period of time. Then after a few months you get distracted, you stop practicing and you forget why you started playing in the first place. Your teacher begins to notice that your playing is suffering and he asks you, “Are you sure you want to play the piano?” You say, “Yes”, but over the next few weeks you continue to ignore what you have learned.
How long do you think your teacher is going to invest into you when you fail to practice what you have learned? The answer is not very long.
Well the Holy Spirit works in a similar way. When we fail to put into practice the things the Spirit is teaching us, the Spirit takes a step back in our lives. His voice becomes silent and His influence less evident. Though the Spirit never leaves us, His power does.
Unresolved anger blocks the impact of the Spirit in our lives. Anger limits how God can use us and keeps us from becoming the person God designed us to be.
Friends Anger is a real emotion. God gave it to us to serve a good purpose. But we must be careful to use it for the purpose that God has given it to us for. And to not sin in our anger and to be willing to resolve anger quickly in our lives. For if we don’t and we allow it fester then it will cause the devil to get a foothold in our lives and will cause us to lose control. And it will lead to a disconnect with God. How awful is that?
Hopefully you know who Alexander the Great was. He was a young man with a drive and purpose to conquer the world. And he did just that especially at a young age. Yet though Alexander was able to conquer the world, he was not able to conquer his anger. The story is told of Alexander and his friend and general in his army named Cletus. On one occasion Cletus became drunk and ridiculed the emperor in front of his men. Blinded by his anger Alexander snatched a spear and threw it at Cletus. Though he had intended to scare him the spear took the life of his childhood friend. As a result Alexander was overcome with guilt and attempted to take his own life. History records that Alexander feel into a deep depression and laid in bed for days calling for his friend.
One historian writing about this event said, “Alexander the Great conquered many countries, but he failed miserably to conquer his own self.” (Lutzer)
Oh, how I pray that you and I will not fail miserably in controlling anger in our life. That we will be willing to not just resolve our anger but to be in communion with the Holy Spirit. Paul reminds us that the Holy Spirit living within us is a privilege but it is also a responsibility. Our responsibility is to not disappoint him in the way we live, but instead to resolve anger get rid of bitterness, rage, brawling slander and every form of malice. And when we strive to do that we will understand our privilege better which is the privilege of having the Holy Spirit living within us directing us day by day and being given a guarantee that we will live forever with Chris Jesus.
Now with Christ there comes instead an anger release—as we receive His life-giving love—and then in turn, allow Him to live that love through us.
Maybe you’re here today, and no matter how hard you’ve tried, that release does not seem to come. Maybe you’ve tried and tried, and it just seems to continue in a spiral. Won’t you come and find His sweet release?
Maybe you’re here today, and things have been going pretty well, but there is just that one little something that keeps nagging at you in the back of your mind, and you recognize that little tempting voice calling you to harbor that grudge a little longer. Won’t you come and be free from it instead, before it grows to an even greater strength?
Amen and Amen
