11 The Tongue Can Make or Break You
Book of James Series
By Pastor Jim May
There’s one little part of the body that all of us have a hard time controlling and that’s the tongue. That one little muscle is responsible for much grief in the world, and it has been the culprit behind many failed marriages, split churches and even caused wars to be fought where many people lost their lives. If we could only learn to control the tongue, we would be far better off.
Christians are no different from the world when it comes to how we use our tongues. In fact some of the worst tongue lashings that I have ever received came from the tongues of Christians in moments of anger. Such a small member but it causes such huge problems.
And the problems don’t end when you step into a place of leadership either; in fact, our ability, or inability, to control the tongue is magnified when we step into leadership positions.
If you desire to be a leader in the church, or a boss on the job, then controlling your tongue is an absolute must.
James 3:1, "My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation."
You can often fall into the crowd and keep a low profile and your words may not always be heard. Sometimes you can get away with a little comment that out of place and people will just overlook what you say. But that’s not the case when you are in a place of leadership.
When you stick your head above the crowd, you can rest assured that someone is going to try to throw a rock at you. Maybe it’s not a stone that will bruise your head, but throwing a slur, or a tale of gossip will wound your heart and spirit. Every word you speak as a leader is going to be scrutinized and examined closely, and people will let you know very quickly if you’ve said something wrong. That’s just the way it is, and rightly so.
If you are in the position of a leader, or a master, then you are in a position where you have the lives of other people in your hands, at least to some degree. Every word you say and everything you do will effect each of them either positively or negatively.
If you say and do the right thing then nothing much will be said most of the time, but if you fail, then get ready for the criticism to come.
Those who take on the position of a master often bring much grief upon themselves because they let leadership go their head. Many people, even pastors, believe that when they are given that position that it gives them the right to rule and reign over those in the congregation. That’s just not the way it works.
A pastor is a servant, but not just a servant, but the greatest servant in the church. We are not bosses. We are not rulers. We are servants.
Jesus said in Matthew 23:11, "But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant." A servant commands no one. A servant only develops followers because they like the way he serves and nothing else. A servant has no power or control, only influence that comes from the heart.
General Eisenhower would demonstrate the art of leadership with a piece of string. He’d put it on a table and say: "PULL it and it will follow wherever you wish. PUSH it and it will go nowhere at all. It’s just that way when it comes to leading people. They need to follow a person who is leading by example."
At another time he said, "You do not lead by hitting people over the head--that’s assault, not leadership."
Another of our nation’s great leaders knew these lessons too and demonstrated them during his lifetime.
During the American Revolution a man in civilian clothes rode past a group of soldiers repairing a small defensive barrier. Their leader was shouting instructions, but making no attempt to help them. Asked why by the rider, he retorted with great dignity, “Sir, I am a corporal!” The stranger apologized, dismounted, and proceeded to help the exhausted soldiers. The job done, he turned to the corporal and said, “Corporal, next time you have a job like this and not enough men to do it, go to your commander-in-chief, and I will come and help you again.” With that George Washington got back on horse and rode off.
Another thing about being a master is this. James is also talking about being a teacher, especially of the Word of God.
When we act in that office, or calling, we have the very eternal souls of people in our hands and there is no greater responsibility. One word can save a soul if it inspired of the Holy Ghost, but one word can also cause a soul to be lost too.
Every word you speak carries the power of live and death. Because of this power that we yield over people’s lives, we must also answer for every word that is spoken when we stand before Jesus. That’s why I must be careful to tell you only what the Lord wants me to say, and I must be careful that it all lines up with God’s Word.
I also believe that when a man or woman of God, or a teacher in the church, teaches error or doesn’t teach the whole truth, that they will answer for that too. I’m afraid that many of the church leaders of today will fall short of God’s calling upon their lives because they fail to preach the truth. Woe unto that preacher who won’t call sin, sin. Woe to that pastor who teaches the flock that all is well, and all is not well. I may not have a large flock but however large the flock is, I want us all to be healthy sheep, ready for the coming of the Lord.
I’m convinced that hell will be so much worse for the false teachers and false preachers. They know the truth and withhold it from others. They are more concerned over money and numbers than the souls of men. In the flames of hell, every soul that is there because they didn’t preach the truth will be a constant thorn against them. Those who miss Heaven because a pastor wouldn’t tell them the truth are going to have a vengeful hatred for them. I don’t want to be among that number.
James 3:1-2, "My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body."
I can only pray that I don’t offend anyone, but I know that it is inevitable that it will happen. Some people are offended by the least little thing. And some people are offended because we preach the truth to them. They don’t want to know the truth. They just want to have their ears tickled a little.
Every time I think about that I am reminded of what the Apostle Paul had to say to a young preacher by the name of Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:1-5, "I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables. But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry."
Whether the people want to hear the truth or not, my job is to preach it in love. If I fail, then I will face judgment, but if they won’t hear, then their blood will be upon their own hands, not mine.
God gave these instructions to Ezekiel concerning Israel in its time of idolatry and backsliding: Ezekiel 3:17-21, "Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me. When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul. Again, When a righteous man doth turn from his righteousness, and commit iniquity, and I lay a stumblingblock before him, he shall die: because thou hast not given him warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he hath done shall not be remembered; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Nevertheless if thou warn the righteous man, that the righteous sin not, and he doth not sin, he shall surely live, because he is warned; also thou hast delivered thy soul."
James says that if we can lead without offending, then we are perfect. Well, needless to say, no one I’ve ever met is perfect. But this isn’t talking about offending people with the truth of the gospel. If the truth offends, then that’s what it’s meant to do. It’s not always pleasant to learn that there’s sin at the door, but its necessary. That’s a healing offense.
What James is saying is that if we can just learn to control the tongue, not spreading gossip, or not saying things that offend people when we shouldn’t, then we are getting a little closer to perfection. I am convinced also, that this kind of perfection can only be attained through perfect love. If we truly love someone, then we will do our best not to offend them in any way.
Let me tell you that, according to these verses in James, if you can just learn to gain control over your tongue, then you will be a very disciplined person. The tongue is the last frontier in your life. Conquering it will be your greatest battle. If you can conquer your tongue then you are able to control yourself in every way. That’s something that we all can strive for.
James 3:3-4, "Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth."
The horse is a great animal, strong and useful, but without a bit, it can’t be controlled to do its work. So it is with you and I. If we can’t even control our own tongue, how can we expect to lead others?
Just as a rudder on a ship can turn it in any direction, so can the tongue turn the things of life. We can make life easy, or we can make it hard, all by the use of the tongue. Your life is that ship. You are that horse after a fashion. Where are you allowing your tongue to guide you?
