WARNING: This Sermon Contains Material That May Overcome Offense Series
Based on John Benere’s book, The Bait of Satan
Escaping the Trap
Nov. 4, 2007 FBC, Chester Mike Fogerson, Pastor
Introduction
A Get their attention
B Today, all of these messages will come together.
1 Offense occurs; Jesus offended folks, but never demanded His rights; our rights are servant’s rights; forgiveness: if you don’t give it...you don’t get it.
2 The traps have been sprung, let’s take some steps to get out-four steps.
3 So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Romans 14:19 (NASB)
C Let’s pursue the things that make for peace by releasing the trap today.
I Step 1: recognize you’re in the trap
A Stop calling the loss of a limb a flesh wound, gangrene a small infection, & cancer a cold.
B Pride does not want to admit we’re hurt or offended.
II Step 2: pray for your offender. Malicious witnesses rise up; they ask me of things that I do not know. 12 They repay me evil for good, to the bereavement of my soul. 13 But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth; I humbled my soul with fasting, and my prayer kept returning to my bosom. 14 I went about as though it were my friend or brother; I bowed down mourning, as one who sorrows for a mother. Psalms 35:11-14 (NASB)
A We may pray for them something like, "God, bless them with a good day. Help him in all that he does. Amen."
1 V. 11 & 12: David’s prayers were for those who didn’t like him.
a We can relate: associates/people who pay our good with evil; David had men out trying to destroy him; attacked him with evil when he had done nothing to merit it.
b Sorrow in my soul...yeah!
2 V. 13 & 14
a "But as for me..." what he did next wasn’t determined by the actions of others.
aa He began to pray for them like they were close brothers, grieving as one who loses a mom.
bb Pray for them like you’d pray for yourself.
B Instead of praying for them just for your sake, pray for their sake.
C Pray what you’d like God to do in your life for them.
III Step three: give forgiveness like God does.
A I want to ask you four quick questions:
1 Has God ever done anything wrong to you? Wronged you?
2 Has God ever hurt your feelings out of hatefulness?
3 Has God ever injured you out of revenge?
4 Had God ever offended you?
B God has done nothing but offer us love, forgiveness, & reconciliation. He reached out to us before we loved Him or asked for forgiveness from Him.
1 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (NASB)
a I offended God, He reached out to me!
b When Jesus gave up a crown of righteousness for one of thorns, and throne of creation for a thief’s cross, scepter in His hand for a spear in His side, royal purple robe for the nakedness of the crucifixion, died between two thieves but dying for a murderer...
c It wasn’t Pilate, a kangaroo Jewish court, or Roman soldiers that killed Him-I killed Jesus. He died to reconcile my relationship to Him!
d He didn’t come to judge (NASB) or condemn(NIV) me (John 3:17), but to save/gain me for His kingdom (the offended reached out to the offender).
2 He forgave me in AD 33, but He reconciled me in 1978.
a He reached out from Calvary, I reached back from Odin.
b I love Him because He first loved me!
c That’s God’s forgiveness style! Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. 1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children Eph 4:32-5:1 (NASB)
IV Step four; approaching someone who has offended you.
A NEVER go to someone until you have decided to forgive him or her from your heart...no matter how he or she responds.
1 "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 "But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. 17 "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Matt 18:15-17 (NASB)
a This is not a permission slip to go confront (in anger or revenge) someone who has offended you.
aa Our goal is not condemnation, but rather reconciliation.
bb "Preacher, I forgive you for being insensitive, for not being a better pastor, for not doing this or that." What?
cc We’ve all used that stick (on us or others). Intimidation, control-not forgiveness or reconciliation.
b Jesus tell us how to progress (alone, with a witness, to the church), but the goal never changes: reconciliation.
aa The one who caused the offense is involved in every step.
bb We like to take the offender out first & then go to the everyone with the offense. (IL) Bring 5 people on stage (offender, witnesses, church). Alienate the offender & go to the witnesses with the story.
cc We feel justified, comforted, our cause is strengthened. We feel good when people listen to us/agree with us on how badly we’ve been treated (selfish).
2 Jesus is saying, "Keep trying."
B What if someone comes to you? (Listen, don’t defend)
1 Ask, "Are they right?"
a You’re right, would you forgive me?
b Not right
aa Tell them you respect their position
bb Tell them you’ll search your attitudes/intentions.
cc Tell them you’re sorry you’ve hurt them.
2 Pride defends, humility agrees (you can apologize for hurting someone without agreeing with their position/assessment).
a But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. James 3:17 (NASB)
b Godly wisdom is willing to yield, not stiff-necked or stubborn when it comes to personal conflict.
c If you’re submitting to godly wisdom, you’re not afraid to yield or defer to the other person’s viewpoint as long as it does not violate truth.
C What if someone refuses to be at peace with you?
1 If loving people like Jesus is our motivation, we will not fail.
a When we love others like Jesus we are free to love them even if the other person chooses not to be reconciled to us.
b If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Romans 12:18 (NASB)
aa There are times when others do not/will not want to be at peace with you.
bb OR being at peace with them requires you to make compromises in your relationship with the Lord.
cc Either case, it may not be possible to restore that relationship.
2 Notice, "...as much as it depends on you..."
a We are to do everything we can to be at peace with others as long as we remain loyal to the truth.
b My fear is that we give up on a relationship too soon.
Conclusion
A We’ve looked at four steps to escaping the trap of offense:
1 Step one: recognize you’re in the trap.
2 Step two: pray for your offender.
3 Step three: give forgiveness like God does.
4 Step four: approaching someone who has offended you.
B Some of you are in a trap, it’s time you admit it.
1 Some of you have been praying for your offender, but not in a way that will release you from the trap.
2 Some of you are NOT forgiving like God does.
3 Some of you are refusing to be reconciled to one who has offended you.
a Maybe until today you’ve not been equipped to do it right.
b Not to defend, hurt, revenge, anger...you forgive before you even go to them...you give it whether they accept it or not.
4 Some of you have people in your life who do not want to live at peace with you.
a "As much as it depends on you..." keep trying, reaching, praying
b Love them like Jesus
C Please stand-if this is you, come forward.
1 Wait
a Call for anyone who has a person who has offended them, but the offender is deceased...time to let go of that offense this morning.
b Call for anyone who has a person who does not want to live at peace with you.
2 Pray
a Acknowledge you’re in the trap
b God’s forgiveness (thanksgiving, not giving up on me, reaching out first, etc.). I want to give this forgiveness to ______________.
c Pray for your offender (if alive), blessing, intimacy with God, healing, etc.
d As much as it depends on me, I’m going to live at peace.
Notice to Sermon Central Users:
My name is Mike Fogerson, and I pastor a Southern Baptist Church in Chester, Illinois. I have been a long-time user of Sermon Central and truly appreciate its content and contributors. Some of the best sermons I’ve ever preached have been reworked material from this website. As you use the material from my sermon bank, understand that it is work that has been done from not just myself, but from hundreds of other pastors as well. If you see part of your message, or a bunch of your message with my name on it and this upsets you, please email me and I will quickly respond and cite you as the main source. My intent is not to claim someone’s work as my own. I am disclaiming up front that I use the resources from Sermon Central and appreciate the tool. I simply want all those who use my work to know that some of these messages were inspired by the Holy Spirit working through other pastors. Because I do use the messages of other pastors I waive all claims of originality or origin of creativity for the messages posted under my messages. I pray God blesses your preaching ministry for the glory of His Kingdom.
Respectfully,
Mike Fogerson
