Other People’s Pain
My mother and father both said it.
I never believed it and I think I told them so.
They would always say it just before “IT” happened….
They would say “this is going to hurt me a lot more that it is going to hurt you!”
Has anyone said that to you?
Just as they told you to lie across their lap so they could give you a spanking.
I understand that for most of us in here it may have been a while since we experienced a wiping form a person that loves us.
But do you remember it? Or maybe do you remember saying those words yourself?
Is it possible to really feel another person’s pain? When I say pain, I an using it as abroad term….Grief, shame, guilt, despair, emotional stress and damage…
It seems a bit easier to join in a person’s joy. They are in a good mood and are fun to be around.
But to join someone in the valley of despair, or loss, or physical suffering, when you have no direct personal involvement is not an easy thing to do.
Generally, we don’t like the uncomfortable and painful situations.
When are we willing to experience pain….?
That seems pretty easy for most people…never…. if we can help it at all…right???
-- The question I have been struggling with this week is when or under what circumstances, will we allow ourselves to feel other people’s pain?
When I see the news and I see where someone that tried to get away from the police and have an accident…I am not willing the share any of the physical and mental pain. Or at least not very likely?
I don’t really know any “dare devils.” I have seen several of them.
SLIDES - Dare Devil accidents
Professional dare devils take calculated risks and get hurt sometimes. We see their mistakes on the news. When we see a crash we wince with some kind of sympathetic reaction.
SLIDE – POLICE Chaise
From time to time we witness non-professional dare devils taking risk, no control, no consideration for other people around them. We see them or sometimes the damage caused by their actions on the news too.
It is hard to feel the pain of their choices.
SLIDE – CAR ACCIDENTS
Some people end up in pain by no fault of their own, accidents, illnesses, can cause any number of people pain. We probably know lots of people like that. Friends and family that hurt in all kinds of ways.
People hurt each other sometimes, we can all cause pain in another person, and some people are very intentional in that. Ask a teenager what happens in their lives.
Slide – mental suffering
How about when a friend is living through a divorce or similar experience like the loss of a job or kids headed off to college or perhaps family problems?
Will we risk sharing in the pain and loss that they experience?
I think that we will try a little harder to be close.
Slide – hurt children
Or how about when one of our children has an accident? Do we have any empathy in that situation?
That is probably the easiest of my examples, because we will tend to scoop them up and hold them close. Even if they are not directly one of our children.
Perhaps it is not the physical pain that we share but our own emotional pain for letting something happen.
-- There are times when we choose to go to someone in pain out of obligation. It is not uncommon to give a few minutes here and there. But we sort of prefer to limit our exposure.
We can go to the funeral home when an acquaintance has a loss and spend a minute or two expressing our sorrow for their situation. We are sometimes surprised when the person seems moved by our simple gesture.
If it is a friend and we know the family we might stay a bit longer talking to other friends who come but, we are uncomfortable even if we are just visiting for an hour or so.
My point is that we sometimes will expose ourselves to other people’s situations.
When we do we may even feel some psychosomatic feelings that we are feeling their despair, grief or loss. But they are limited in the sharpness and we still want to get away as soon as possible.
I think we do that because we feel so helpless, we feel unable to make a difference.
--- What do you think Jesus felt as he walked this earth and talked to suffering people?
I want to remind you of a few scriptures where Jesus responded to different people’s situations.
SLIDE – JESUS and the Leper
Luke 5:12-13
While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean."
Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" And immediately the leprosy left him.
In that day, a person with leprosy was a complete outcast and if you touched them you were considered unclean and an outcast as well.
The people of Jesus’ day believed that the disease happened because of a sin in the person’s life. If you touched the person the sin came off on you.
Once a person showed outward signs of the condition, they would go to the priest to be examined. The disease we call leprosy today may not be the same as in Jesus’ day. They were very picky in their standards and the condition might have been any skin disease that caused colors or blotches, psoriasis or any skin condition that might change your appearance.
If the afflicted wanted to return to their families and worship they had to present themselves every 7 days for a “visual” examination. Depending on the opinion of the examiner after some period of time the person could make some simple sacrifices and return to normal life.
The religious authorities of the day were less interested in helping than in judging.
When Jesus heals the man, he did not have to touch him, he could just say it, wave his hand, nod. He does not have to touch him, But he does.
He is willing to offer what the man needs most, physical comfort, and a simple touch from another human being.
Buy touching this man Jesus was risking “guilt by association.”
He was risking immediate separation from the community. Technically, Jesus should and may have presented himself to the priest in 7 days for an evaluation.
Jesus offers the gift of physical touch to a man that was untouchable by the world’s standards.
SLIDE - washing Jesus’ Feet
Luke 7:44-48
Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."
Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."
Recognizes that this woman, was acting in an inappropriate way. This unnamed woman humiliated herself and groveled on the floor and using her tears to wash His feet and her hair to dry them. Culturally, she should not be touching a man that is not in her family or her husband. And to let down her hair in public, disgraceful. The host has questioned Jesus’ role as a prophet as he watches this display of love.
There is no doubt that Jesus knew her past and yet he still allowed her to touch Him. She was known as a sinner and unclean but. in the presence of the religious leaders of the community Jesus allowed her to reach out and express her love. Her pain, guilt, with an unclean touch.
Jesus allows sinners to come to him even before they have changed.
I have one more situation that I want to remind you about.
SLIDE - Paralytic
Luke 5:17-20
One day as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law, who had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem, were sitting there. And the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick. Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.
When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven."
Can you picture it, some noise on the roof and after a minute of muffled sounds a paralyzed man is lowered from the ceiling.
In this event Jesus responds to the desires and the longing of the friends that went to so much trouble to ask for healing. Even thought Jesus seems to have a group of important people present he is going to respond to the need of this man.
-- Folks, we as Christians have a very heavy duty to perform.
We are on a journey which is supposed to change us.
Paul describes the change as a likeness, in 2 Corinthians 3:18 “And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
Let me re-phrase what he means, we who live with Jesus Christ in us reflect what is in us God’s Glory and are changed to look like Jesus to the people we meet. We are constantly being changed by the Holy Spirit.
When we mature in our journey with Jesus Christ, eventually people will start mistaking you for Jesus. Please let that sink in….
Years ago Renee and I put our pocket change into one of those 5 gallon water bottles. This went on for years and it was mostly pennies. We decided to take a trip to Florida with our small children. We realized that we did not have much money over our estimate for gas and a room. We decided to see how much was in the change jar?
We counted it up and ended up with almost two hundred dollars in spending money.
When we are taking on the likeness of Christ every day and it is a bit like filling up one of those big water bottles with pocket change. It takes what seems like forever to fill it up. But, if you ever spill it out you are amazed by how much value has been accumulated. Ho much like Christ you have become…..how much Christ you can offer.
For some people in your life you may be the first REAL Jesus that they meet. Guess what, the jar does not have to be full for that to happen.
Does that scare you a little? Let me say that it shouldn’t.
It is actually a completely natural process.
It happens to many people and they never realize what has been happening to them over the years of exposure.
They are considered to be good and caring people…genuinely good people and they would never know how to act in any other way.
The Christian Journey changes you and it normally doesn’t hurt ….much.
If Jesus cared about other people’s pain, then as we become more and more like him we care more and more instead of less and less.
Let me explain that we will all grow differently in this.
Our God deals with as individuals on our journey. I am going to use me as an example, not because I am so good or so obedient, but because I have seen so much of a change in me.
For me, over the past seven years or so, I have allowed myself to enter into opportunities the share people’s pain. It is just part of being a pastor, right?
I guess that is true, for pastors and others in the church, meeting people where they hurt is a part of the call on our lives. But, we can limit even that and still serve God and his church.
I have mentioned in our prayer time that I meet people at the hospital sometimes.
Not because I am there visiting others but, because the Chaplin at Redmond asked if he can leave my name on his backup list for when he is out of town or tied up.
I said yes about 7 years ago and from time to time my cell phone rings and I know it means trouble when they ask, is this Rev. Bowen.
It really only happens once or twice a year.
-An unexpected death.
-A suicide attempt.
-A person fearing their mortality.
-A family discussing the stopping of care for a loved one when nothing else can be done with human hands.
-A family needing prayer when they don’t think they have their own connection to God. This one is the most common….
Folks to pray for someone, it really helps if you allow yourself to feel their pain, their fear, their hunger and understand that they are so often in a dark place and they feel trapped.
Every time one of these calls comes, I get a little ach in my heart because I know it will very soon be broken again.
I pray all the way to the hospital that God is working where I am headed and that he guide my listening, and direct every word.
And most importantly help me pray there words that the listeners need to hear.
Do you know that every time I head to the hospital on one of these missions, I ask myself, “Why do I let them leave my name on their list?”
On the other hand, every time I leave, I end up praising God for his allowing me, watch him work a miracle right in front of me…
-- Tom doesn’t have the ability to calm people’s spirit because his tong trips up too much and he says the wrong then all too often.
-- I know it is God because, Tom does not have the power to heal people’s pain even for a minute.
-- I know it is His Spirit in me because I over hear the words He uses, I hear the burdens and witness the release when He speaks to their hearts.
Where are you on your Journey, have you started feeling other people’s pain?
We will close this morning with a series of pictures….
Look at them and see if you can let your self experience what Jesus would feel…
SLIDE SHOW UNTIL END
Jesus was all about Other People’s Pain. He has already suffered for us.
His suffering on our behalf is his way of showing how much He cared for all of us.
If you think of all the people that you say you know, How many of them don’t understand what Jesus did and Why.
As Christians we are all called to go to those who are in pain of any kind.
The unacceptable people that are known sinners.
We are to receive those that approach us
What size burden gets our attention.
