Title: How to grow in your relationships
Text: Ephesians 5:21-6:9
Introduction
I came across a list of 10 reasons why it is good to be a man
10 You know stuff about tanks.
9 You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
8 If someone forgets to invite you to something he can still be your friend.
7 You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
6 If another guy shows up at the same party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
5 One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
4 There is always a game on somewhere.
3 Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, “So…notice anything different?”
2 If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
1 You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
The title of this message is “How to grow in your relationships.” And the answer is found in verse 21. By “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (v21)
Submitting to one another shows reverence for Christ.
Since this is Fathers Day I’m going to focus this message on addressing the men and how we as men can grow in our relationships. We’ll identify some areas we can always grow more in and look at some ways to grow. (Women you can keep us accountable by taking good notes)
Let me begin by saying “men we are needed!”
We need to submit to the fact that we are needed. God made us so as to fulfill certain needs.
There is no reverence for Christ if I’m out doing my own thing.
There are 4 areas that we as men are needed from our text.
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives submit to their husbands in everything.” (v22-24)
1.Men we are needed for our leadership.
Our wives want us to lead. Christ wants us to lead. The church wants us to lead.
Illustration: If we are driving to a place we’ve never been before. My wife prefers I drive.
What specific areas does verse 24 tell us men to lead in? Everything!
(underline /cross it out the word everything)
Men we are not to know everything about everything but we are to lead in everything.
There is no way that these verses suggest we can lead anyway we want too.
Christ is to be our model for leadership. We are to lead in the same manner Christ leads the church. And we are told in verse 23 that Christ ‘s leadership saved the church.
Men if I could single out one area of leadership we need to grow more in it would be spiritual leadership.
If you need help on how to grow in your Spiritual leadership write these 3 words down. They are 3 words found in verse 24 Submit to Christ
Submit to Christ and I’m qualified to lead everything.
Men we are needed for our leadership.
2.The second area we are needed men is for our love.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- for we are members of his body.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (v25-33)
Now there is no man here who would not argue “but I’m a loving person.”
But by what standard are we basing our love? And is our standard to low?
What does our scripture use for our standard?
1. There is a divine standard
2. There is a human standard
The divine standard is to love like Christ loves the church.
The human standard is to love like we love ourselves
The question we need to ask ourselves is this? Is our love producing a transformation in the lives of those around us?
Christ like Love transforms whatever it comes in contact with! It removes stains, wrinkles or any other blemish and replaces them with blamelessness
That is the kind of love we need to have for others.
Illustration: I found the Lord in the Covenant Players because I experienced love.
Love when I messed up.
The key to growing in love is by discovering just how much Christ loves you.
3.The third area we are needed men is for the instruction of our children
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”- which is the first commandment with a promise- “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (6:1-4)
Because God created children every child is a promising child and every child is a honor student. Honor students are those who honor their father and mother and God wants every child to have the promise of the 5th commandment .” that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
We men have an important part to play in securing a better future for our children.
To whom does God give the responsibility for instructing our Children? To us fathers.
We are needed for our training and instruction. We need to keep growing in this area because as our children grow they need more advanced instruction.
Our training and instruction manual is the Bible
4. The fourth area we are needed as men is for our Christian work ethic
“slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but likes slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.
And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.” (v5-9)
What is a Christian work ethic and do we have one at our work?
A Christian work ethic does not mean I work at a Christian company.
A Christian work ethic means that I’m really working for Christ
A Christian work ethic means that I’m certain I’m in the will of God doing this job
A Christian work ethic means I know that God got me this job.
A Christian work ethic means that I show respect to those over me and to those under me
A Christian work ethic is realizing that my workplace is my mission field
conclusion
We all fall short in our relationships. The biggest short falling being in our relationship with God.
But the good news is that Christ wants to be in a relationship with all of us. In other words He wants to lead us. He is the good shepherd. He wants us to experience the love he has for us so that we can be transformed into someone beautiful. He also wants us to learn from him and we can trust that He will be loyal in keeping his word to us.
