Lesson: The Christian Family
I. Marriage: a divine ordinance (Genesis 2:18-24)
A. Marriage is a divine ordinance. (Proverbs 18:22)
1. Marriage was instituted for God’s children. And a godly home is a good advertisement for a life in Jesus.
2. If a Christian couple is living outside a legal and sanctified relationship. Their faith and prayer will not work, and there will never be a real harmony in their relationship.
Note: Sinners living in today’s society don’t know any better.
3. Without marriage as a divine ordinance, you will not have a family. You may have a group of people living in the same house but not a family, you will have living arrangements but not godly relationships.
B. Marriage is honorable. (1 Timothy 3:12)
1. God’s will is marriage. Marriage is necessary to fulfill God’s purposes.
2. You may choose to marry or remain single. It is your privilege. If you want to be single and serve God then He will grace you for it.
a. Paul chose to be single. (1 Corinthians 7:6-7)
3. The myth of singleness
a. People do not have a “singleness problem,” they have an entirely different problem called “being single.”
b. The problem is with the definition, which was given by a cultural, socio-economic system under the ruler ship of Satan (the god of this world) there’s confusion between singleness & “being alone.”
o Singleness = to be separate, unique and whole
o Being single = solitary, desolate, alone
o Man was single, separate, unique and whole
Note: no one should marry until he or she is totally single.
4. God’s view of singleness
1. God said… “it is not good that man should be alone…”
2. God made the woman so that the man will not be alone.
3. Having a companion for Adam was God’s idea
4. God presented Eve to Adam, God did not give Eve as wife. He must choose. (Pick one out!)
Note:, Marriage will not necessarily make two halves whole.
C. The Word of God gives guidelines for a good marriage partner.
1. Must be a believer. (2 Corinthians 6:14)
2. Must agree with your beliefs and goals. (Amos 3:3)
3. Must not be quarrelsome or given to strife. (Proverbs 21:9)
4. Must be willing to change or renew his or her mind (Romans 12:2)
5. Must be responsible and disciplined. (1 Corinthians 4:2)
Note: It takes a good husband and a good wife to make a good marriage
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D. Marriage is the greatest gift for God’s blessings, but it could be the greatest tool for Satan’s curse (Genesis 2:24)
1. In God’s plan, marriage brings total fulfillment. (Matthew 19:4-6)
2. Outside of God’s plan, marriage brings total misery.
3. When our marriage is not right, our whole life is not right.
a. Whether it’s the husband’s fault or not, He is responsible for
the marriage to work. (It can be fixed)
b. We are to treat our spouse like we treat ourselves.
c. Our marriage is a mirror of ourselves. Whatever is in the individual is magnified in the relationship.
d. Our personal strengths are seen in our marriage.
5. A good marriage is one of the qualifications for leaders in the church
(1 Timothy 3:1-5; Titus 1:5-9)
Bishop = Gr. Episkopos – overseer, in charge of a group of believers,
Note: in cell church understanding, overseers are cell leaders.
E. A good marriage begins in us
1. A good marriage is simply the relationship between a good man and a good woman.
2. We have all we need for a good marriage in the inside of us.
3. To improve our marriage, we must improve ourselves.
a. We can’t improve our spouse
b. We can only improve ourselves.
Note: The marriage is not what we work on, we work on ourselves.
F. To start a good marriage we must first leave our past (Genesis 2:24)
1. Those who don’t “leave” never “cleave.”
a. Cleave- be joined, united, adhere to
b. Hanging on to your past keeps you from your future
G. Six ingredients of godly and successful marriage:
1. Commitment – a decision and a choice to dedicate your life.
2. Communication – openly express about yourself, hiding nothing. Talking and listening until you really understand each other.
3. Sacrifice – giving of yourself, time, possessions and your rights to your spouse.
4. Intimacy – sharing your spirit, soul and body without reservation.
5. Agreement – growing together in the Word until you think alike.
6. Love – does not demand or take, but gives. – it is the foundation.
H. Both the husband and wife must recognize their differences.(uniqueness)
1. Six key differences between the man and the woman
MAN WOMAN
1. Physically active 1. Likes to talk
2. Majors on majors 2. Majors on anything
3. Headliner 3. The whole story
4. Responsible to provide money 4. Responsible for children/home
5. Aggressive/protector 5. Helper/supporter/protected
6. Thinker/logical 6. Feeling-oriented
2. Note: Men function from the head, women from the heart.
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3. God took something from man and made a helpmate that would supply and complement him. Comparable but not the same. (Genesis 2:21-23)
a. What was once one became two.
b. In marriage, the two became one again.
c. Now, without each other, they are incomplete.
4. Men tend to be secure in themselves, women tend to be insecure.
5. When a husband is preoccupied with other people, things or activities, his wife may become insecure.
I. What women want from their husband
1. Companionship - Make intimate conversations with her.
(Women love to talk)
2. Compassion - Be enthusiastic and attentive to her when you’re at the home and help her around the house.
3. Romance - Establish a regular schedule on a date. Surprise her!
4. Affection - Say “I love you” more often. (phone calls during the day.)
5. Passion -.If you don’t give her the first four – forget about number 5
J. Duties of a Husband: head of the house (1 Corinthians 11:3)
1. God placed the husband as head of his own house
(Caretaker and protector of his family)
2. He is responsible to live as an example in his house.
3. He is to love his wife as himself (Ephesians 5:25)
4. He is to honor his wife (1 Peter 3:7)
K. Duties of a Wife: submission (Ephesians 5:22)
L. Sex ordained within marriage only
1. God’s order is for male and female sexual activities to be carried out within marriage.
a. It is God’s idea
b. It is holy – to be “awed” (sacred)
c. It is God’s gift
d. It is to be cared for as God’s possession, not ours.
Note: If you will not marry, you must not participate in marriage activities, if you do so, you will not be operating within the blessing and sanction of God. (1 Timothy 5:14)
2. Sex outside of marriage is not only sin – it dishonors God’s temple.
(1 Corinthians 6:18-20; Galatians 5:19)
3. The Lord did not initiate marriage just so that Adam and Eve could begin to replenish the earth.
4. Husband and wife should know how to satisfy each other fully in the sexual relationship (Proverbs 5:15-23)
a. A woman is a “well” that must be drawn out
b. A man is a “fountain” that must be controlled.
Note: Men are ready for a physical relationship anytime. Wives are not, they must be prepared with our words.
5. You must communicate and give fully to satisfy your spouse. It should be a celebration of love, a time of giving and unity (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
Note: mutual consent = agreement, not only in “when” but also in “how”.
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II. Christianity is the only strong foundation for successful family life.
A. God’s purpose for the family
1. The whole plan of God for mankind is centered around the family.
2. If you remove it, you remove the basic foundational ingredient of the purpose of God for establishing the human race.
Note: Purpose is the key to fulfillment. When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable.
B. God’s parenting plan
When we see our children as God sees them, parenting will be a joy
1. Children are to be recognized as members of the family, not its center.
Note: When parents violate this God-ordained priority, they alter the intrinsic psycho-sociological elements necessary for normal child development.
a. Our relationship priorities should be:
1) God
2) Spouse
3) Children
2. Children are gifts from God (Psalm 127:3-5)
a. God has given us the responsibility for the children He gives us.
b. Our responsibilities to our children. Be prepared to give:
1) Love – Ephesians 6:4
2) Teaching – Deuteronomy 6:6-9
3) Training – Proverbs 22:6
4) Correction and discipline – Proverbs 13:24
Note: the best way to teach and train our children is by example. Values are caught not just taught.
c. Biblical correction of children – the rod of correction
(Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 28:13,14; 29-15-17)
d. Two main reasons for correcting your children
1) Willful disobedience (Ephesians 6:1; Micah 6:8)
2) Wrong attitudes. A child must learn first time obedience.
Note: never correct out of anger
e. At different ages we need to have different parenting emphasis:
1) Birth through five – love and discipline
2) Five through ten – teaching and training
3) Ten through fifteen – encouragement and motivation
4) Fifteen through twenty – openness.
f. God warns us not to provoke our children to anger or discouragement (Colossians 3:21) We do this by:
1) Not having time for them.
2) Not instructing and training them.
3) Not giving them self worth and security.
4) Quenching their drive and creativity. – limiting them
5) Not leading them.
6) Worst of all abusing them.
Note: Dignity is the child’s most valued possession
